Minds of Men (The Psyche of War Book 1)

by Kacey Ezell

  * * *

  Lina awoke to the cold, clear light of sunrise slanting across her face. Her overlapping tent flaps rattled with the morning breeze as she blinked away the last of an unremembered dream. With a sigh, she sat up inside the crowded space of the one-man tent and tugged her clothing straight as best she could.

  You’re awake, Josef said into her mind on a mental caress. Joy and desire flooded into her from him and spoke eloquently of how impatiently he’d waited for her.

  I am. Did I oversleep? Lina asked, moving aside the tent flap to peek out. The sun was just rising through the trees, and the snow around them gleamed bluish in the first rays of daylight.

  No, you needed the rest. We agreed that it would be best to let you sleep.

  Annoyance spiked through her mind. She did not need them to coddle her.

  No, but we need you sharp, Josef answered her wordless accusation. You worked harder than any of us yesterday, and we cannot afford to miss any opportunity that may arise. We know our quarry is out here now. Today, you must be ready to catch her if you can.

  I am ready, Lina said mildly. She still felt annoyed, but she told herself sternly to put it away. Josef was right. She wasn’t as strong as the Fallschirmjager, so she needed to do what was necessary to keep up. With that thought pushing at her, she tidied up her hair and emerged into the camp.

  “Good morning, Oberhelfer.” Kristof greeted her with a smile. He held out a steaming mug. “Would you like some coffee? It’s a bit on the watery side, but it’s not bad.”

  “Thank you,” Lina said with a smile as she accepted the mug. Its warmth stung against her cold fingers, but she cradled it close and inhaled the fragrant steam anyway. Kristof nodded and then slowly stepped away, as if reluctant to do so.

  In fact, all of the men seemed to be casually drawing near to her. It took her a moment to realize it, but it definitely seemed to be the case. First young Willi brought her water for washing, then Horst, strong and silent, drifted near enough to start taking down her tent. Willi joined him, joking playfully with the older man. Kristof walked past her with a smile and went to confer over the map with Josef, and Werner began to pack up her pack.

  “I can do that,” she protested softly.

  “I don’t mind,” Werner replied with a smile and shifted his weight closer to her in the snow.

  It was the bond, she realized. Their minds craved her net, just as she felt herself wanting to reach toward them all and wrap her consciousness around them again. The only one who didn’t seem affected was Josef. She raised her eyes to look at him.

  And found him staring back at her with such heat and desire that it brought a blush to her cheeks.

  You want to form the net again. That is good. I want it, too, for it serves our mission, and yet, Josef sent over their channel. Once again, his mind felt like the silken touch of a lover inside her skin. She shivered inside her coat. And yet, I find I do not wish to share you.

  It is not the same, she assured him. I do not share everything with them, not the way that I do with you. Her blush deepened as she made this admission. They are like brothers. You...are something else.

  They yearn to be near you. Are you certain that they view you as a sister? Josef asked, with a bit of arch amusement coloring his thought. Amusement laid in a thin layer over something darker, possessive.

  It is only the bond, Lina assured him. She felt certain that her own mind touch carried the impatient asperity she felt. Being connected mind to mind builds a closeness, even if it is not as all-encompassing as our...connection.

  What word were you going to use? Josef asked, his eyes intense across the smoky campfire where Willi knelt to prepare their breakfast rations.

  What?

  You changed your thought. I felt it. You would have said a different word. Tell me, my Lina, what should we call what lies between us?

  Lina hesitated. It seemed so strange to her. She had always been a rational girl. Exposure to the wild storms of others’ emotions had taught her that it was always best to lead with one’s intellect. But Josef’s mind was so powerful, so compelling, and had been so from the first touch. She couldn’t deny that they’d become intertwined over the short time of their acquaintance, and the thought of severing their psychic connection caused her an actual, physical pang. He had become essential to her, and it had happened all at once.

  Love, she whispered in the silence of her mind.

  Yes, he whispered back.

  Joy and terror surged through her, tangling in her mind and threatening to leak out as tears. She swiftly ducked her head over her coffee mug and fell back on her training. She must remain calm, else she could not form a strong net.

  “Oberhelfer? Are you well?” It was Willi, looking up at her over the sausages he was frying. She threw him a smile and a nod, not trusting her voice yet.

  I love you, Josef sent. I cannot imagine breathing without you. When this is over, we will find a party official, and we will wed.

  I will marry you, Lina sent, as joy gained ascendance over panic in her mind. I will marry you, and we will continue this work together.

  She felt his mind start to protest this thought. Of course, he would want her to remain safely at home, to raise their children. But she had a gift, and the Reich had need of her talents. That was why she’d gone to the Reichsschule in the first place.

  You are right, of course, Josef said. Reluctance soaked his words, but Lina could feel his admission reverberate with sincerity. She witnessed him fight between his loyalty to the Reich’s cause and his need to protect her and see her safe. Her own love for him swelled through her.

  I will be with you, he said, after a moment. You are right, we will be together. When we bring back the Ami psychic, the high command will give us anything we want. I will be your escort and your husband, and I will see you safe. My Lina, I will never let anything hurt you.

  I know, she replied, and she blinked rapidly as her eyes threatened to overfill. But now, we have a job to do. I must link with the rest of the men.

  Lina felt his wordless acquiescence and the brute force of his love for her. She allowed her own love to flow down the link for just a moment longer and then stood up. The eyes of the other Fallschirmjager turned to her. She gave them a smile.

  “Let us re-link,” she said, “so that we may be about our business today.”

  To a man, the Fallschirmjager smiled.

  * * *

  Lieutenant Portman had carried her somewhere. It couldn’t have been far, Evelyn reasoned. She wasn’t a small woman. The lieutenant was a burly, stocky guy, but he’d been banged up, too, and he was carrying all their gear besides. He’d brought her to a sheltered spot under a thicket of thorns. Evelyn wasn’t certain how he’d found it, but it seemed a better place to hide than her little deadfall. She didn’t remember much about the journey there, nor his care of her once they’d slid under the camouflaging thorns. She did remember finally feeling warm.

  When she opened her eyes again, the sun was in the process of setting. She pushed herself up to a half-seated position. She felt weak as a newborn kitten.

  “How did you find me?” she asked. Her words came out as a raspy whisper. The lieutenant looked up from where he seemed to be digging a hole in the dirt with his knife. A smile creased his dirty face.

  “Hey, Evie,” he said. He laid down the knife and scooted close enough to put the back of his hand against her forehead. It was an oddly maternal gesture, and it made Evie want to laugh. All she could manage was a weak cough, however.

  “Whoa, take it easy there, Evie-girl,” Lieutenant Portman said. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a flask like hers, then tilted it carefully at her lips. She drank greedily, as the water rehydrated her fever-baked tissues.

  Lieutenant Portman lowered the flask slowly, then smiled at her as he capped it. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Weak,” she replied. “But clearheaded. I had a fever?”

  “Yeah,” he
said. “I found you huddled up under a snow-packed deadfall. I never would have seen you if you hadn’t left your shirt and...ah...brassiere out in the snow beside the entrance.” Evelyn could have sworn she saw him blush swarthily under the dirt and stubble.

  “I did?” she asked, feeling a fair amount of mortification color her own cheeks. “That is embarrassing. I remember feeling like I needed to hide, but I couldn’t go on any farther. I think...I think I knew I was ill.”

  “I’m not happy you were ill, but I’m happy it made you leave a sign. I would never have found you otherwise,” the lieutenant said. “You did a good job of hiding...except for that.”

  “I didn’t want her to find me,” Evelyn said softly, idly.

  “Who?”

  “What?”

  “You didn’t want who to find you?” Lieutenant Portman asked, his voice intensifying. He scooted closer. “Evie, did you see Nazis out here? Are they looking for us?”

  “No, I didn’t see them,” she said. “But yes, they’re out here. And they’re looking for us. Well...they’re looking for me.” She slumped slightly. Lieutenant Portman reached out and helped her lie back down.

  “I was so stupid,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. She blinked angrily, infuriated at her own weakness, but the tears just kept coming. She drew in a deep, shaky breath and plunged on.

  “I was alone, and hurt, and scared. I thought, if I could just find the crew, I couldn’t have been the only one who survived. So I reached out. Only I didn’t find you, or anyone else. I found her.”

  “Her?”

  “Her. A German psychic. She tried to hold me, to follow me back, but I was able to break contact. I think...I think I surprised her. But she definitely knows I’m here, and she’s definitely looking for me. And I very much doubt she’s alone.”

  Lieutenant Portman took a deep breath.

  “All right,” he said. “Well, that complicates our situation a bit.”

  More tears flooded her eyes. She couldn’t see.

  “I know, I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  “Evie, no,” he said, brushing a hand across her hair. “Shhhh, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know. How could you know they had a psychic nearby? It’s nobody’s fault. It just is. Now we have to figure out how to deal with it, all right?”

  Evelyn nodded, sniffled mightily, and then nodded again.

  “Atta-girl,” Lieutenant Portman said as he patted her shoulder. “All right, so here’s the question, you made it down, and I made it down. I gotta think there’s a chance some of the other guys did too, you know?”

  “I hope so,” Evelyn said. “I would like to think so.”

  “Right. So if it were me, I’d be trying to make my way toward the wreckage of the Cass. I gotta think that’s what they’d try to do, too. Though if there are Nazis out there, they might do the same. But then, that’s all the more reason to go.”

  “What? Why?” Evelyn couldn’t imagine anything that would make going toward the German psychic palatable.

  “To warn them. If they’re heading for the Cass, and the Nazis are out looking for us, then it’s a trap. We know that, so we have to warn them.”

  Evelyn was certain there was a flaw in this logic somewhere, but in her fatigued, weakened state, she couldn’t find it for the life of her. So, she simply nodded and laid back on the makeshift pillow that the lieutenant had fashioned for her.

  “We’ll wait the rest of today, stay here the night,” the lieutenant said as he shifted across the ground back to the hole he’d been digging. “Then we’ll start out early tomorrow. I have a fair idea of where they might have ended up. We’re not far. I think we can get there before nightfall and then hole up, watch for a while, see who shows up.”

  “That sounds reasonable,” Evelyn said. Her eyes felt heavy, and a quite lassitude stole over her. She realized that she should be ravenous, but all she felt was the aching need for sleep. Her eyes drifted closed.

  A sharp, stinging slap to her cheek recalled her to herself. She forced her eyelids open and stared at the lieutenant with as much anger as she could summon.

  “Evie!” he said, sounding panicky. “Evie, stay with me! Don’t go to sleep, Evie.”

  “Why not?” she asked, her voice sounding high and querulous, even to her own ears.

  “Because, you’re cold and in shock, and hypothermia could kill you before I can build a fire!” he said. “C’mon, Evie-girl, just sit up for me again. You were doing so well! I’m sorry, I shoulda gotten this fire built...”

  He pulled her up rather roughly and propped his own pack behind her. Then he went back to frantically digging in the dirt. Evelyn giggled, sound burbling up like bubbles from a soda fountain.

  “That’s not a fire; that’s a hole in the ground,” she said. This time, she could hear her words slurring. She blinked and tried to make her eyes focus in the fading light.

  “Digging down so that if the Nazis are nearby, they won’t see it,” Lieutenant Portman said. He scratched at the dirt a few more times and then wiped his knife on his trouser leg and sheathed it. He went to work with his hands next, scooping out handfuls of sandy earth until he had a hole approximately the size of his head.

  “You’re gonna build a fire in there?” she asked.

  “Yep,” he said. “I figure it’s gotta be better than doing it out in the open.”

  “How’s a Brooklyn boy know so much about stuff like this?”

  He grinned at her and reached for a small pile of twigs she hadn’t noticed before.

  “I used to spend summers with my cousins on my uncle’s farm upstate,” he said. “He didn’t like it when we killed his ducks, so we’d have to cook and eat them out in the field.”

  “Duck is good,” she said. “Pheasant is better,” she added, feeling a pang of homesickness that may have actually been hunger.

  “I’d settle for squirrel right now,” the lieutenant muttered. “But we’ll work with what we have.”

  “What do we have?” Evelyn asked, interest sharpening her voice. He had food?

  “Not much,” he admitted. “But I do have a tin of sardines I threw in my pocket. And we have water. We can boil down the sardines and make some broth and soup. Best idea I’ve got.”

  “Sounds wonderful,” she said bravely. He looked up at her with a grin and a chuckle, and then for no reason at all, they both started to laugh. A little bit at first, but then the laughter grew into belly-holding, gasping gales of mirth. Neither of them could stop until their eyes were streaming with tears. Evelyn swiped at her running nose with her sleeve and huffed a last few chuckles. Lieutenant Portman wiped his eyes and let out a long sigh as he returned to arranging his kindling and tinder in the pit he’d dug.

  “Tell me something, Evie,” he said as the echoes of their laughing fit faded. Evie smiled and opened her stubbornly-closing eyes again.

  “Mmmhmm?”

  “How come you haven’t linked us yet?”

  Evelyn blinked. The truth was that she hadn’t thought about it. She’d been too preoccupied with staying alive and not losing her mind from the pain of her leg. That was one part of it, of course. She didn’t want to expose the lieutenant to her agony. She could probably compartmentalize it such that he wouldn’t feel it too badly...but then, maybe not. She really was weak. That fever had done a number on her. Even now, fatigue dragged at the edges of her mind, whispering to her to close her eyes...relax...sleep...

  “Evie?”

  Her eyes snapped open, and she shifted slightly, pressing her lips together against the pain that rocketed through her body with each movement.

  “I’m awake,” she said, blinking rapidly.

  Lieutenant Portman looked narrowly at her for a moment, but then turned back to his fire. Evelyn watched as he finished laying in the kindling and tinder just so. He then pulled a flip-top lighter from inside his coat and began striking it. He angled his body to hold the tiny flame into the kindling, and Evelyn found herself holding her
breath while she watched and hoped that that tiny flame would catch.

  It did. Slowly at first, but then with growing strength, the lieutenant’s fire licked up along the twigs he’d so carefully placed. A thin, barely-there wisp of smoke began to curl upward toward the tangled branches of their thicket shelter.

  “I want to,” she said softly, her eyes never leaving the nascent fire. “The bond is pushing at me, but I’m afraid. I don’t know how strong I am right now, and I don’t want to transmit the pain of my injury to you.”

  “What?” The lieutenant looked up, anger writ large on his features. “Evie, are you kidding me? I can help you, and you’re not letting me? What is wrong with you? Link us!”

  “No, you don’t understand...” she said, shaking her head in frustration.

  “I understand you’re a woman, and you’re hurt! You’re maybe the bravest woman I’ve ever met, but that doesn’t change the fact that as a man, I’m supposed to help you however I can! Damnit, Evie, don’t be stubborn with me on this. Just do it.”

  “I don’t think...”

  Lieutenant Portman had apparently heard enough because he cursed softly under his breath and reached out to take her hand. The moment skin touched skin, the bond within Evelyn leapt at him, and the psychic connection snapped into place between them.

  Evelyn reeled, falling back onto the makeshift pillow. Abram’s consciousness flowed into hers like water into a desiccated husk. Her whole body shuddered with the sensory overload of it as the longed-for connection re-established itself.

  “Sonofa...sorry Evie,” Abram breathed. “Motherf...That does hurt.”

  I’m sorry, Evie thought to him, relishing the feel of his mental landscape, and the way it fit with hers. For the first time since being thrown out of the Pretty Cass, she felt almost good. Still, she couldn’t let Abram carry her pain. She began to gather it back in to herself, to wall it away from him.

  “No,” he said sharply, his voice rough. He gripped her hand tighter, pulled himself closer to her. “Don’t pull that back from me. I can handle it.”