by S. J. West
The strange substance couldn't be administered like most drugs with a normal trans-dermal patch either. For some reason, it had to be injected into my body by using old fashioned needles.
I sit down on the white couch in my room and hold out both my arms to the two women.
“Do it,” I say, looking away as they each take a syringe from the silver tray Eliza brought into the room.
“I'm so sorry, Lady Anna,” Eliza says as I feel the needle of both the shots pierce the skin in the crook of my arms.
“There,” Millie says, being the first to take her needle out, “all done.”
Eliza soon follows and I hear the clatter as they both lay their respective syringes back on the silver tray. Vala whines and comes to sit on my lap in way of comfort. I pick her up and hold her close to my chest as I stand to walk into my bedroom. I find Vivian laying out a mint green chiffon dress for me to wear to breakfast and ultimately to my lesson with the dowager empress.
The fashion in Cirrus was simple and elegant. Those in the other cloud cities adopted their own sense of style and the Cirruns chose one which resembled that of ancient Greece, at least for the women. The men generally wore suits of a simple collarless design, much like the one Auggie wore when he came to see me that morning.
After I'm dressed and Millie fixes my waist length brown hair into a thick ponytail braid, they escort me up to the roof where I have eaten breakfast with my father every morning of my life, as far as I am aware.
If ever there is a man who looks the part of a Lord, it’s my papa. Every unmarried woman in Cirrus has made a play for him from what Millie has told me. But, my father told me I was the only person his heart would ever truly belong to. His love for me was absolute, and I never doubted that for one second. It wasn't because he told me he loved me every day of my life either. It was because I could see his love for me in the little things he did for me. As a child growing up, he took me almost everywhere he went and spent endless hours making sure I was as well educated as anyone in Cirrus, more so than most. He seemed to know something about everything, and I thrived in the knowledge that he thought I was someone worth spending his time with.
I know any man I eventually give my heart to will have a high standard to meet if they want to even come close to being the man my papa is to me. Not even Auggie can compare to Lord Andre Greco.
My father is dressed in a white suit similar to the one Auggie wore. He's facing away from the crystal elevator when I step off, seeming lost in his own thoughts. The click of my glass slippers against the marble tile on the roof alerts him to my approach, and he turns to face me. A smile of pure joy lights his features as he looks at me, rivaling the brightness of the morning sun still rising in the background behind him. Even without the sun at his back, my papa would glow to my eyes. He always has. When I asked him why he looked like he had an ever present light shining down on him when no one else did, he told me it was because I could see his complete devotion to me. As a child, I simply found the notion mystical. As an adult, I had to wonder what the true reason was.
“Good morning, cherub,” he says to me as I walk up to him.
I shake my head but can't help the smile which stretches my lips.
“Every time you call me that, I feel like I'm three years old again, Papa.”
I kiss my father on both cheeks as he continues to beam with pride as he looks at me.
“And every time I look at you, I see that little three year old smiling back at me.”
“Stop it, Papa. You're going to make me cry.”
My father holds out a crooked arm to me and escorts me to the granite table which is permanently situated underneath an ever growing arbor of purple wisteria.
“I hope to never be someone who makes you cry,” my papa says as he pulls out my chair at the table for me to sit in. “I live to only make you happy.”
“And spoiled,” I laugh as he sits down at the head of the table beside me.
“Well,” he says, smiling guiltily, “there's that too. But, not so spoiled that you aren't grateful for the things you have or the people in your life.”
Millie and Vivian bring us our plates laden with breakfast while Eliza fills the crystal goblets in front of us with water.
“Papa,” I say hesitantly, because I've broached the subject I'm about to bring up before but received negative results, “are you sure you won't come live with me and Auggie after we marry? I don't like thinking of you staying here all alone.”
“I'll be fine,” he says to me with a reassuring smile. “You don't need your father so close when you're just starting your married life.”
“You know as well as I that married life with Auggie won't exactly be normal,” I say, knowing my father already understands the chaste marriage Auggie and I will end up having. “Plus, I might need your help dealing with the dowager empress.”
My papa laughs out loud, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes becoming more pronounced.
“Handling her is something I have no doubt you will be able to do, Anna. You've already proven that on a few occasions now. You happen to be in the auspicious position of having her actually like you because of it. I don't foresee you having any trouble with her, especially after you take her place as empress. But...”
I look over at my papa and see a concerned look cloud his handsome features.
“But what? What's wrong?” I ask.
“You know if you didn't want to go through with the marriage, I would take you away from here,” he tells me. “I know places in the down-world that not even the empress knows about.”
“That wouldn't be any sort of life for either one of us,” I tell him gently. “I may not be in love with Auggie, but I do love him. We'll have a good life together, Papa. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.”
“But finding true love is something you'll have to give up on as his wife.”
“I'm not sure that's even possible for me anyway,” I admit. “I'm almost twenty-one, Papa. I've pretty much met every man within marrying age in Cirrus and haven't felt that sort of connection with any of them. I'm luckier than most. At least I'll be marrying my best friend and not someone who is forced on me like some of the other girls here. And I'll be empress soon. How many girls are granted a privilege like that? Maybe I can dedicate my life to helping others and actually do some good with the powers I'll have.”
“At the cost of your own happiness?”
“Who says I won't be happy? I can find happiness in the work I'll be able to do. So, please, don't worry about me.”
My father sighs, and I know worrying about me is not something he can just turn off. I love him for his concern over my happiness, but I came to terms with the path of my life a long time ago. Auggie and I can support one another and find ways to satisfy any urges we might harbor for others in a private way. I'm not sure if I'll ever find the person who is meant to fill the gaping hole in my heart, but I won't give up on finding him just because I'm married either. The marriage between Auggie and I is simply one arranged for convenience.
If my soul mate truly does exist, I have no doubt we will find one another one day.
And when we do, God help anyone who tries to keep us apart...