“It’s on!” Granny yelled, and grabbed a ball for each hand.
She turned her body to the side, lifted her leg, and did a windup of her arm. The ball whizzed through the air, missing. A second time. Missed again.
“Waaaaa! I wouldn’t vote for you!” He pointed and laughed at Granny. He put his hand up to his ear like a telephone. “Hello, nursing home. We have a live one. Come get her!”
“That sonofa . . .” Granny started, but I interrupted her.
“Granny.” I grabbed her arm, and whispered, “Stop this. People are looking at you. It’s a stupid clown trying to get your goat.”
I kicked the bucket of balls out of her way and looked up at the clown. His eyes were haunting. His grin was evil.
“You should be ashamed of yourself!” I jutted my not-so-nice, ladylike finger toward him.
I probably shouldn’t have done it, and it wasn’t a good-Southern-girl thing to do. But as we all know—in the South, do not mess with my granny.
“Aw, Emma Lee, I was just playing around.” The clown’s makeup made his frown even more frown-y. He pointed to his outfit. “Part of the job. What about that beer?”
“Ugh. Digger Spears, I’m telling your momma when I see her!” I warned, and stormed off to find Granny.
“Wait. Digger Spears?” Jack Henry tried to keep up with me. “Beer? What did that clown mean by beer?” Jack sidestepped. “Is that clown Digger Spears, and did he ask you out on a date?”
“Yes and sort of.” I didn’t want to get into it with Jack Henry about it.
“Did you tell him that we were an item?” He grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks.
“No. I didn’t.” I jerked away. “I was too busy trying to get over to the Inn to help Granny. He was nice enough to say hello and tell me about the carnival and his life dreams.” It struck me that Jack Henry was jealous. And it was kind of cute. I had never pictured Jack Henry being jealous of anyone with me. “If I’d known you were going to react like this, I might have told you.”
“Oh stop it.” His dimples deepened. “I love you and that clown was out of line asking you for a beer while he was working.”
“It’s Digger Spears. He’s harmless. I’ve got to go to Granny.” I pointed to the Auxiliary women who were over at Granny’s side of the carnival shouting about voting for Granny.
“Need an ice-cold Stroh’s, Teddy?” Digger Spears asked over the small microphone, ending with a cackle.
Teddy waved him off. It was just enough to keep Digger going.
“Big bad Teddy is going to get me in a headlock and give me a noogie. Wooooo . . .” Digger stuck his hands out in front of him. “I’m so scared.” Digger stood up on the little diving board and made some muscle-building poses with his skinny arms.
Teddy grabbed a ball and flung it toward the target, missing by a mile.
“Hee, hee.” Teddy plopped back down on his butt. A crowd had really started to gather to hear the funny clown. “Knock me in the waaaater, water!”
Leotta and Teddy laughed it off, fueling Digger’s fire.
“O’Dell Burns! Burns Funeral!” Digger swung his feet back and forth, laughing hysterically. “Who in the hell would want to be buried at a place called Burns Funeral?”
O’Dell shook his head and kept walking past.
“No wonder Eternal Slumber has more business. Plus that little Emma Lee Raines sure has grown up to be a looker.”
“That asshole,” Jack Henry muttered, glancing back at Digger.
Digger pointed at him and laughed, getting Jack Henry’s goat even more.
“Ignore him. It’s his job to piss people off.” I flung my arms around Jack Henry’s neck and gave him a good long kiss.
“He’s still a little jerk,” Granny spat.
We continued to ignore Digger and he finally stopped making jokes about people he knew.
A few more minutes and Granny was back to her old self. A little bruised ego never hurt anyone. At least that was what we all told her. She was going to have to fight harder for mayor. With the election a week away, she was bound and determined to win.
After convincing everyone that I was all right, I kissed Jack Henry good night and walked back to Eternal Slumber.
It had been a long day and I needed some good sleep.
Little did I realize that wasn’t going to happen tonight.
Middle-of-the-night door-knocking always scares the living bejesus out of me. It was hard to distinguish if it was a dream, Cephus’s waking me up, or someone really at the door.
Bang, bang, bang!
Someone was really at the door.
Quickly, I jumped out of the bed and threw my sweatshirt over my head. The banging wasn’t stopping, but it stopped my heart when I opened the door to find Jack Henry standing there in his police uniform.
“Oh my God!” I screamed. “Is it Granny? Is she okay? Charlotte Rae?”
When plain-clothed Jack Henry showed up at my door in the middle of the night, it was a very welcome sight. When uniform-clad Jack Henry showed up at any door in the middle of the night, everyone knew it was bad news.
“Do you have a minute?” Cop Jack Henry pushed his way into the small hallway.
I flipped on the light.
“Tell me. Tell me now.” There was no need to sugarcoat it. Rip if off fast like a Band-Aid was what I was rooting for. “Is Granny hurt?”
“No. Zula Fae is fine. But our buddy Digger Spears.” Jack Henry sucked in a deep breath. He took off his hat and stuck it under his armpit. “He’s not doing as well.”
“What does that mean?” I shook my head.
Even though I dated a cop, I still didn’t get all of the cop lingo.
“He’s dead.” And just like that, he ripped off the Band-Aid. “He was found dead by another carnie.”
“Really?” I leaned up against the wall. The sound of a death made me a little dizzy. “How?”
“He was floating in his tank of water.” Jack rubbed his head.
“I guess Digger Spears should’ve learned to swim or hold his breath before he took that job.” I tried to make a joke to get Jack Henry to smile. “Hey, I’m sorry. Do you want me to make some coffee?”
I turned to walk down the hall toward the kitchen.
“I’m not here on a social visit or in the need of some coddling.” Jack Henry’s voice was cold. “Digger didn’t drown. He was stabbed.”
“Damn.” I turned back around. “What is going on with the world? Did some carnie get mad because Digger had a good gig and off him?”
“Someone got mad. I’m not so sure it was another carnie because it was a wooden stake.” Jack Henry’s face was stern. Serious. Scary.
“What was he? A vampire?” I joked, half-serious.
“It was a wooden stake attached to a VOTE FOR ZULA FAE RAINES PAYNE sign.” Jack Henry’s words and his body’s coming toward me played out in slow motion as I fell to the ground.
Chapter 17
I wasn’t sure how long I was out. All I knew was that Digger Spears was dead with one of Granny’s campaign signs stuck right through his heart and it made Granny a suspect. Especially since she had fought with him.
“He made fun of the others too,” I pointed out to Jack Henry, who stayed by my side.
He handed me a glass of ice water. “Please drink.” Concern worked down his face and set at his jaw.
“I mean, O’Dell’s business, and Teddy’s muscle stuff.” I took a drink.
“Neither O’Dell nor Teddy kept egging him on like Zula Fae did.” Jack Henry just had to point that out.
I took another big sip. A door slammed in the front of the funeral home, followed by the clomping of heels.
“Shit.” I put the glass down and looked at the clock. It was only seven in the morning and she’s never here this early. “Charlotte Rae is here. She must know something.”
The words had barely left my mouth when I heard Charlotte Rae raising all kinds of hell.
“Emma
Lee!” she screamed, and banged on the door between my apartment and the hallway of the funeral home. “I know you and Jack Henry are in there. Open this damn door right now or I’m going to march right over to Sleepy Hollow Inn and drive a sign through Granny’s heart!”
“She’s mad.” Jack Henry eased off the bed and walked out to let her in.
I breathed shallow so I could hear her when Jack Henry opened the door, but my heartbeat was almost too loud.
“Don’t be sugarcoating anything for me, Jack Henry,” Charlotte warned him. “You tell me how bad is it? I know it’s real bad after the morning I have had.”
“Calm down.” Jack Henry had a voice of reason.
“Calm down my redheaded ass. Don’t you tell me to calm down.”
Enough was enough. I got out of bed and met them in the hallway.
“Damn, Emma Lee. Why can’t you keep her on a leash? We are in dire straits now.” Charlotte’s face was as red as her hair. “You!” She jabbed her perfectly pink fingernail in Jack Henry’s chest. “You stick her ass in jail and don’t let her out!”
“I can’t believe you have already put Digger Spears’s murder on Granny.” It took everything I had not to give her a good swift kick.
“Emma Lee is right. There were no prints on the sign. The homicide team is still working on collecting evidence.” Jack Henry tried to calm her down.
“It doesn’t do well for business. We already had a family cancel the viewing for next week and two pre-needs clients because they don’t want to do business with murderers. One person claimed we killed people to get business.” Charlotte stomped her foot.
“Excuse me.” A quiet voice from behind startled us.
“My baby.” Cephus grinned, taking in Mary Anna’s look of the day. “She sure is a beaut.”
Mary Anna had on a flirty dress that was knee length, belted at the waist, and tight on the top. She had on her signature heels. Today, her hair was pulled up in a pin, sweeping bangs, and a scarf to finish off the Marilyn look.
“I hate to break up this little family meeting, but I need to go downstairs to get my makeup.” She pointed to the hallway leading to the funeral home.
“Jesus!” Charlotte threw her hands in the air. “Are you quitting?”
“No,” she replied. “My services have been requested to do Digger Spears’s makeup for the funeral.”
“What? Are they using Burns?” Charlotte’s anxiety level was turned way up too high.
Mary Anna didn’t say anything. Her silence was all we needed.
“Oh my God! The least we could do is give them a free funeral.” Charlotte glanced at me. One brow cocked. “You take care of that!” She jabbed her finger at me this time before she twirled on the tips of her high-heeled toes and stomped her way back down the hall.
“I don’t think they are going to let you bury Digger with the sign and all.” Mary Anna did an impression of someone’s being stabbed with a stake in their heart and flung her tongue out the side of her mouth. “Besides, it’s going to be a freak show anyway. They want me to paint his clown face on.”
“Really?” Jack Henry seemed surprised.
I wasn’t. There were always strange requests from families. The strangest I had had was where the family had hired a photographer and as a party prize to the mourners, they got a five-by-seven photo of them next to the deceased. Strange.
The noise of keys in the background was Charlotte Rae’s unlocking all the doors.
“You know,” she said. “That clown heckled so many people. There were Zula Fae signs all over. Anyone could’ve picked one up and stabbed the life right on out of him.”
“He didn’t deserve it.” I shrugged. “Plus the fire at the mill and all.”
“What does Digger Spears have to do with the fire?” Mary Anna’s eyes narrowed. I could see the wheels turning and the gossip at the tip of her lips.
“Nothing.” Jack Henry gave me the shut-the-hell-up look. “All this trauma in a few days isn’t so good for Emma Lee.”
“Right.” Mary Anna’s eyes grew big and she nodded. “I’ve gotta go.”
“See ya.” I smacked Jack Henry on the arm. “Thanks. Now she’s going to tell everyone that I’ve got a case of the Funeral Trauma.”
“Good.” Jack Henry seemed pleased with himself.
“Why is that good?”
“Now you can talk to Cephus out in public and get more clues from him. I’m about one-hundred-percent positive someone knows you are hot on the trail and they are trying to frame you.”
Chapter 18
T his is getting personal,” I said to Cephus, who was sitting on the gurney in the back of the hearse. “Someone knows that I’m looking into your death. But who?”
“When times get tough, I say grab an ice-cold Stroh’s.” Cephus smacked his lips. He clicked the toes of his white, patent-leather shoes together.
“That would do nothing but make my mind all boggled. I have to figure out what happened to you.”
“That’s why I came.” Cephus crossed his arms. “I didn’t come down here to hang out with you for the rest of my ever after.”
“It’s not about you anymore. It’s no longer about getting you to the other side.” I didn’t mean to sound cold, there was too much at stake now. “It’s about Granny. It’s about the future of Eternal Slumber.”
“Good. Maybe it’s the motivation you need to solve my murder.” Cephus looked out the window. “Hey! The Watering Hole is right up yonder!”
The cowboy boot looked even worse in the daylight. The rusted sign had visible wear and tear from years of being up. It was a staple. There was no way they could replace it though they could clean it up a bit.
“You are a doll baby.” Cephus was practically drooling.
“Simmer down.” I kept my eyes ahead of me. “Don’t go and get all excited. We are on our way to Lexington.” I pulled the pieces of paper out from underneath the seat. The ones I had taken from the old mill before someone wanted me to be the next victim.
The more I thought about it, the more it just didn’t make sense. There weren’t too many people who knew I had been asking around about Cephus. His family, Terk, the bartender, and maybe Vernon Baxter.
“I know you said that you didn’t step out on Leotta.” Stepping out was a nice way of saying “you low-down cheater, you.” “But did you do any socializing that could have been seen as that?”
“I told you,” he spat between his gritted teeth, “I never, not once, did I lay down with another woman.”
“Then I think we are going to be safe to say that you were murdered over a gambling deal.” It was definitely the only thing I could think of.
Like that, he disappeared into thin air.
“Good,” I muttered. “I don’t need you messing up my investigation with this newspaper guy.”
I grabbed the gambling file from the seat and took out the piece of paper with letterhead of someone by the name of Fluggie Callahan. There was a newspaper clipping from the Lexington paper. The article was written by one Fluggie Callahan.
So I set the hearse on course to the Lexington Herald Leader in hopes Fluggie was still a reporter.
The Internet had definitely taken a toll on the print-newspaper business and most of the cubicles in the newspaper building were vacant—well, all but two.
“What can I do for you?” The woman in the closest cubicle pulled her glasses off her face and tucked the end of the frames in her mouth. She had sandy-blond hair that was pulled back in a scrunchie with several bobby pins keeping the sides in place. Her pale blue eyes matched her white-blond lashes. She dressed in a ridiculous pair of knee-length shorts with an elastic waistband and a black T-shirt tucked in.
I held the file and article in my hand.
“I’m looking for a Fluggie Callahan.” I held the article up.
“What do you want with Fluggie?” the lady asked.
She leaned on the edge of the cubicle wall, crossing a leg in front of her and res
ting it on the toe of her shoe.
“I wanted to ask him a few questions about his time as the only newspaper person, er, reporter”—I wasn’t sure what they were called—“writer in Sleepy Hollow.”
“First off”—she put her glasses back on her face and pushed them up to the bridge of her nose—“Fluggie is a woman. Secondly, you are looking at her.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.” A nervous laughter left my body. “I’m obviously not an investigative reporter and I wasn’t sure what gender Fluggie was.”
In my gut, I felt like Fluggie and I were getting off on the wrong foot.
“I’m Emma Lee Raines.” I stuck my hand out.
“Any kin to Eternal Slumber?” She eyed me with curiosity.
“Yes. How did you know?” I asked.
“Investigative reporter.” She had a shit-eating grin on her face. “Say, isn’t Zula Fae running for mayor down there?”
“Yes, but I’m here to ask about the gambling ring that you were looking into before the paper was shut down.”
“Shut down?” She snickered. “The office was conveniently not for lease anymore and no one in town wanted to even talk to me when I came in to ask for space. I was pushed out.”
“Do you know by who? Or why?” I asked.
“Why all the sudden interest, Ms. Raines?” She eased down into her computer chair. It squeaked as she got comfortable. She drummed her fingers together in front of her face.
“I need to talk with some of the bookies and I was trying to pick up where you left off.” I handed her the file, which really didn’t have any leads in it. “I found that in the old mill right before someone didn’t want me to find it and blew the place to smithereens.”
“I heard about that.” She was cool as a cucumber. Her eyes assessing me. “What is in this for me?”
“For starters, my gratitude.” I used Granny’s saying it was easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar water.
“Honey”—she pulled back her fingers from her face and neatly placed them in her lap—“gratitude doesn’t pay the bills. What do you have that is better than feelings?”
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