Defiant Hearts

by Janelle Taylor

  Laura smiled. “I won’t, so don’t worry about me. And you be careful with Captain Munns; we both saw how he was eyeing you.”

  “It’s called lust, Laura. Sometimes I think rutting males can sniff out a woman like me a mile away, no matter how many baths I take or how much perfume I splash on or how modest I’m dressed or demurely I behave.”

  Laura watched Lily laugh as if she were jesting, but Laura detected an underlying serious tone to Lily’s voice which caused her to suspect Lily was upset. Laura surmised that perhaps Lily was feeling soiled and self-defeated, and probably because of Richard’s romantic effect on her. To ease Lily’s suffering, Laura reasoned, “Isn’t yearning different from lust? That’s how Munns was looking at you—with desire. I didn’t notice a lewd gleam or hear anything offensive in his tone.”

  “You’re such an innocent when it comes to judging men and their motives. I know them inside and out. Most, married or not, religious or sinner, will bed a whore or deluded lass in the blink of an eye, especially when he’s far from home and his wife or sweetheart. Men crave sex, so they’ll do whatever it takes to get it when those urges overpower them.”

  Lily sounded so pessimistic about men, so suspicious of them. Jayce wasn’t like that, Laura concluded; if he were, he would have made overtures to her by now or spent time upstairs with one of her girls. Unless, she fretted, he had visited one of the many brothels in the Shockoe area to appease such cravings. No, her defiant heart refuted, surely he hadn’t done so. “You underestimate yourself, Lily. You’re charming and beautiful and you have wonderful traits. Many men are enchanted by you, by you, dear sweet Lily, not solely for your services. You could snare one if you so desired.”

  Lily sighed and shook her head. “The man I’d choose for myself wouldn’t want a woman like me, so don’t encourage me to think myself worthy of him or able to ensnare him as my own. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my bitter past, it’s never to delude myself again about love.”

  Laura assumed Lily was referring to Richard as her choice. “I wouldn’t deceive you in that manner; you’re like a sister to me. We’ll discuss this later; now we must help Bertha. The lunch hour is near and the table isn’t set.”

  “You’re right, but remember my warning. Men can talk and play a clever game, but beware of their deceitful poker faces and unseen cards they’re holding. With some men, winning is all that matters, and they’ll cheat if necessary to do so.”

  Laura squeezed Lily’s chilly hand and assured, “I’ll be careful and alert.”

  * * *

  Jayce returned to the hotel to eat lunch and to tell Laura he had gotten tickets for tonight’s performance before leaving again for the afternoon, as there were two more sites he wanted to check out before his departure. He noticed how Lily tried to observe him in secret, her expression and mood implying wariness, and he wondered why. He also noticed that Laura seemed a little distant when he stole a few words alone with her in the foyer before he left; again, he wondered why. Perhaps Laura was nervous about her attraction to him, a near-stranger, or she was afraid he’d try to seduce her. Since he had other grave matters on his mind for the present, he decided he would delve into that mystery later…

  It was around five o’clock when a local patron arrived to relax with friends who were joining him soon. As he awaited them in the parlor, he told Laura and others the exciting news that General Jubal Early was on the attack in Maryland and was marching toward the Washington suburbs.

  Laura was dismayed to hear the country’s capital was being threatened by Confederate forces, so she listened intently.

  “They’re walloping the Yanks at Silver Spring and they’ll be heading for Washington itself directly. Word is there’s fighting in other places in Maryland: Frederick, Fort Stevens, and Magnolia. Our boys are going to lick the bluecoats on their own soil. I bet those Yanks are so skeared they’ll keel over from fright and save our boys’ precious shells. I hope they don’t let nary a one escape. Ole Jube’s forces are pretty considerable, and those Yanks are only fair to middling. Word is, Ole Abe has begged men to leave sickbeds to help defend the city. Maybe this action will pull that no-account Sheridan and Grant out of Virginny, leastwise for a while. Our boys in the Valley and around Petersburg could use a rest and resupply.”

  Frank asked, “How do you know such things?”

  The local resident replied, “I was over to the newspaper office when word came in; it’ll be in all the papers come morning.”

  Laura concluded that the Alabama politician didn’t like what he was hearing, which she thought was odd.

  Frank told the man, “Don’t get too elated; it could be a trick.”

  “A trick? What are you jawing about, man?”

  Frank said, “Maybe Yanks are spreading that false report so our boys in the Valley and southward will think Abe will summon Sheridan and Grant to defend Washington; that way, our boys might let down their guard and become easy Union targets. I don’t trust any news I don’t get from our side.”

  The local snorted. “You’re wrong this time. This news comes straight from a reporter’s mouth who’s riding with Ole Jube’s division.”

  Frank warned, “If that’s true, my rash fellow, you should keep silent until the glorious deed is done. Else, a spy could overhear you and send word to the Yanks about General Early’s plans and jeopardize them.”

  “It ain’t no secret. I told you it’ll be in the papers tomorrow. Besides, Ole Abe and Washington can see, hear, and smell their danger by now.”

  Frank conceded, “I suppose you’re right, and I hope you are.”

  As the men began talking about other topics, Laura left to eat at her home and to dress for her evening out with Jayce. She saw no need to cancel her plans and to seek a way to get word to her contact concerning what she had just learned; it was too late to warn the Union, but surely the President was aware of the impending threat. Even so, she couldn’t help but worry about how Washington’s conquest and Lincoln’s capture would affect the war, if the Rebels could carry out those goals. She knew General Early had around ten thousand men with him, but surely the Union had more soldiers than that guarding the capital city and its highest leader.

  There’s nothingyou can do except hope and pray, Laura, which she did while she forced herself to eat and then dress for the evening.

  As Laura walked toward the stable where he awaited her, Jayce noted how ravishing she looked in a pale-pink “princess” dress that buttoned from her creamy throat to a hem with ivy swirls and rosy designs, with a smaller version of that pattern near her neck. It had a fitted bodice and full skirt, though she didn’t appear to have a hoop underneath it. He assumed, that as his sister often did, she was using a heavily gathered petticoat to shape it, possibly one which matched a snug camisole to prevent her breasts from bouncing immodestly. The elbow-length sleeves had contrasting upturned cuffs in a deeper shade of pink. Green leather slippers peeked from beneath her garment when she walked, or rather seemingly floated on air with graceful movements. Her dark-gold hair was swept back on the top and sides and secured with an ivy ribbon just below her crown in the back; her remaining locks flowed over her shoulders almost to her small waist in soft curls and waves, many strands capturing and reflecting the last rays of sunlight. A dainty pink bag with an ivy drawstring and ribbon dangled from her left wrist. She was exquisite, and he had a difficult time not staring at her.

  “Your carriage awaits, Miss Carlisle,” he murmured and made a half bow from his waist, then straightened and extended his hand to her.

  “Thank you, kind sir,” she said with a smile, warmed by his playful mood and contact with his strong hand. Aboard the carriage, she gave him directions, then laughed. “I forgot you already know the way.”

  He grinned and nodded before flicking the reins to coax the horse into motion, delighted to have the radiant beauty beside him.

  En route, Laura studied him from the corner of her eyes. His gray uniform was clean and
ironed; he must have taken it to one of the local laundries. His boots were polished, though a little dust had settled on them. His ebony hair had been clipped today and a slouch hat with a C. S. emblem partially concealed it. His chiseled jawline was recently shaved, by himself or a barber. A manly cologne teased at her nostrils and competed with fragrant hints of soap from his bath. Her gaze drifted to his strong brown hands; his nails were trimmed and free of dirt; and she pushed aside heady fantasies of his fingers caressing her. She was impressed by his meticulous grooming, as so many men—particularly soldiers—ignored such habits lately.

  They reached the Richmond Varieties Theater where Mr. Rages Comes To Town was being performed, a comedy that had received good reviews in the local newspapers. After Jayce helped her from the carriage, one of the doormen took the reins to position it with the others. They were guided to their seats just before the preliminary act began.

  Laura was aware of how their shoulders and arms touched in the close confines, contact which aroused her. She listened to his rich laughter and hearty chuckles as the comic did his routine. He seemed to be entertained and engrossed, distracted from what lay ahead for him; and she wished she were ignorant of those looming perils. His ever-present weapon, a double-action Kerr 44 revolver, was strapped around his firm waist and resting against his left hip in a black leather holster. Though he appeared relaxed, she sensed he was ever-alert and could react fast and with skill to overcome a threat unless he was surrounded or his ammunition depleted. If one of those grim events occurred, she wondered, would he fight to the death in hand-to-hand combat or surrender with hopes of escaping his enemies later to battle them again? If overpowered, would he be slain on that spot by vengeful Yankees or sent to prison far away in the North where he might suffer physically and emotionally, where he could die from an untreated or maltreated wound, or have that virile body ravaged by one of the diseases or from a lack of decent food which plagued such horrible places?

  As the comedian left the stage and the play’s performers were getting into place, Jayce remarked, “He was excellent, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, quite amusing and clever with his jokes and expressions.”

  Jayce guessed from a lack of response to a funny tale and the tight clasping of her hands in her lap that her attention had strayed for a while. Yet, she had a way of composing herself fast, no doubt a result of years of training and superior skills. He liked the way she smiled with ease and honesty, how her laughter had a musical sound, and how her green eyes brightened or softened with various emotions. She was a woman with numerous good qualities, a lady of splendid enchantment. He tried to concentrate on the comedy, but she was too magnetic to ignore or resist. It surprised, pleased, and worried him to find a woman with such enormous appeal. The timing of this chance encounter couldn’t be worse for him!

  Laura glued her gaze to the stage and pretended to be captivated by the amusing play, but the intoxicating man nearby had her head spinning. Lily had asked her if Colonel Howard Adams would consider Jayce Storm a “proper suitor” and surely the answer was yes. She was positive her father and brothers would like Jayce as a man, though she couldn’t decide how they would feel and react to him being a Rebel. But, she mused, was Jayce the kind of man who would want to settle down to plantation work? Live in Virginia instead of Missouri? He had admitted to possessing a restless and adventurous streak, so could his wild spirit be tamed by love or vanquished by years of bloody war? He seemed to admire her and fancy her company, but was she only a brief diversion? What would a man like Jayce Storm want in a wife? If, since he was still single at thirty, he desired to have one. Laura rebuked herself for thinking along such a foolish line and commanded herself to observe the play for the next hour.

  After a standing ovation and a long period of clapping, Jayce and Laura left the theater and boarded her carriage.

  As soon as they were settled, Jayce asked, “Would you care to stop somewhere for dessert and coffee before I take you home?”

  “That would be nice, but it’s late and I have early chores.”

  “I understand, and you’re right. Home it is, Miss Carlisle.”

  Laura wanted to linger with him for as long as possible, but she didn’t want to risk getting too close to him until she was certain his motive for seeking her out was an honorable one. She didn’t want to chance being misled, hurt, humiliated, and rejected as Lily had been. Even so, she could not imagine making the same choice Lily had to battle her pain or to punish herself for such a mistake. She remained silent during the brief ride down Broad and Fourth streets to Cary and her home.

  Jayce halted the horse in her driveway and assisted her from the seat, saying, “I’ll see you to your door, then put away the horse and carriage.” He grasped her elbow and walked her the short distance to it.

  Her porch was cloaked in shadows which were created by a waxing half-moon and the growth of floral vines on both ends, making it a romantic and magical setting. An abundance of intermingled jasmine and wisteria branches on the southeast end prevented any patron or employee from sighting them through screened windows raised for fresh air. She heard crickets chirping and soft music coming from the piano inside the Southern Paradise, as Lily also played that instrument. Her nose detected the familiar smell of the James River, smoke from dying cook fires or still-running foundries, the fragrance of summer flowers, and the heady scent of the man nearby. No carriages, horses, or strollers disturbed their privacy. As her heartbeat and tension increased, she unlocked the front door, a necessity for personal and property protection during these perilous times. Having done that task many times in the dark after rendezvous with Ben, she was glad her fingers didn’t tremble and fail her. She turned and said, “Good night, Jayce, and thank you for a lovely evening.”

  His eyes had adjusted to the low amount of light so he could view her face, though not with the clarity he desired. He yearned to pull her into his arms, to kiss her, to hold her, to protect her from all harm. Within hours, he was leaving this glorious angel behind—perhaps forever—to confront the dark devils of war and destruction, and his defiant heart raged against that bleak reality. He didn’t want to think about the dangers she might face soon, perhaps some of them results of his work there. He couldn’t—yet, he could—imagine never being with her again. He was positive he had found the perfect woman, but he couldn’t pursue her for many reasons, and she could slip through his fingers before that day arrived. “Will you see me again if I can return to Richmond?” he asked, unable to stop himself from obtaining a little hope.

  Laura perceived a curious struggle in him. “Yes, that would be fine with me.”

  “You’re a special lady, Laura, and I’ve had a wonderful time with you.”

  “So did I, Jayce; it’s nice to discover that real gentlemen still exist.”

  “Would it be too forward, ungentleman-like, to kiss you farewell?”

  She wondered if he was testing her attraction to him or his feelings for her? There were no witnesses in sight to view her bold action, so she replied, “I suppose not, and it is a southern custom among friends.”

  Jayce cupped her chin between his hands and pressed his lips to her forehead. He dared not taste her sweet mouth and possible response or he would risk losing his wits and weakened self-control. Yet, he vowed, if they ever met again, he would seek to claim her as his own before it was too late.

  Laura was surprised and disappointed by the innocent kiss when it was his tantalizing lips she wanted to feel and savor. Even so, she was pleased that his behavior meant he liked and respected her, and she was relieved he didn’t try to seduce or tempt her beyond resistance. She realized, if a simple kiss and touch of his hands evoked such flames and quiverings within her, a real kiss and caress would be wit-stealing bliss!

  As they parted, their gazes locked for a few moments and they smiled at each other, each almost hesitant about what to say and do next.

  Several thoughts flashed through Jayce’s mind at lightn
ing speed. His family would like Laura and she would make a good wife and mother. Much as he yearned to do so, he must not move in that direction this soon or at this critical time in his work. Nor could he make or imply romantic promises that he might not be able to keep: he could be slain in battle; he could lose an arm, leg or eye and be useless as a husband, protector, and provider; he could be captured and executed as a Union spy; or—if he were exposed as the enemy—she could reject him before she knew him well enough to accept his actions or before she loved him too much to do so. “You’re a beautiful and charming lady, Laura Carlisle, and I’m glad I was given the opportunity to meet you and share these past few days with you. You’ve given me pleasant memories to enjoy later in dark moments.”

  Laura was touched by his enticing words. “Thank you, Jayce; that’s very kind of you.”

  “Good night, Laura. While we have privacy, I’d like to say I hope we can see each other again during or after the war.”

  “So do I, Jayce,” and you know where to find me. “Good night.”

  “I’ll lock the stable and return the key to Alvus in the morning.”

  “Thanks, and sleep well.” She entered the house and closed the door. She paused there until she heard his retreating steps and the carriage leave. She hurried to her bedroom and peeked out the window to watch him until he completed his task and vanished from sight. Soon, she fretted, he would be gone, perhaps forever…

  The entire time Laura was serving breakfast to Jayce and the other guests, the words he’s leaving soon kept echoing through her mind like repetitious cannon fire from the war that was tearing them apart. Every chance she got, she used it to memorize each expression, tone, gesture, and glance that belonged solely to the unique man who had stolen her heart.

  It was much the same for Jayce: he tried to commit to memory every smile, word, movement, look, and laugh. He wanted to ask Laura to wait for him, but he knew that would be wrong and selfish. Perhaps it was rash to be seen with her in the event he was exposed and captured; yet, he assured himself that if the worst happened Laura Carlisle could convince her side she was not a Union spy or his accomplice. For now, all he could do was hope and pray this rare Virginia belle wasn’t out of his reach forever.