by Kallysten
Alex walked ahead and went to take his place by the canopy with the other two groomsmen. Cathleen checked Ethan’s tie while the wedding coordinator indicated to the violin player to begin playing.
Taking Ethan’s arm again, she looked up at him and they started walking down the aisle. When she saw Alex standing there, his hands linked in front of him as he watched them approach, something shifted inside Cathleen’s mind. She could suddenly imagine that it was Ethan escorting her rather than the other way around, and that Alex wasn’t the best man, but the groom. She couldn’t take his eyes off him, not even when she realized he was looking at her just as intently and anyone around them might notice. They reached the canopy at last and after kissing Ethan’s cheek, Cathleen went to take her seat. She was only three feet away from Alex but she forced herself not to look at him, relieved when the changing accords of the violin a moment later announced the bride’s arrival.
Along with the rest of the guests, Cathleen stood and turned to watch Isabel walk down the aisle on her father’s arm. Her dress was lovely, layers and layers of sheer white fabric surrounding her and moving with the breeze. A short veil covered her face, but even before her father folded it back over the elegant waves of her hair, it could not hide the brightness of her smile or the light blush pinking her cheeks. She handed her bouquet of red roses to her maid of honor, took Ethan’s hands, and the guests sat down as the minister started speaking.
The ceremony was a blur. Cathleen tried to keep her attention on the happy couple, on her son and her new daughter, but her mind kept drifting. They looked so happy together… As happy as Alex made her, as happy as she made him, she thought—she hoped.
When the ceremony ended and Ethan and Isabel kissed to the cheers of their guests, her gaze drifted over to Alex. He was clapping like everyone else, like she was, but he wasn’t looking at the happy couple either. Instead he was watching her. The gleam in his eyes was the same that danced in Ethan’s eyes when he looked at Isabel. Cathleen’s heart jumped in her chest. She dropped her eyes and struggled to stand with everyone else as the newlyweds started walking back up the aisle. She made sure the bridesmaids and groomsmen were between Alex and her before she followed, inviting Isabel’s parents to join her with a gesture and a smile that both felt much too shaky. At least, she had a very good excuse to be emotional.
Time continued to pass too quickly. She barely remembered posing for pictures with the rest of the wedding party or picking up a glass of champagne and a few hors d’oeuvres during the cocktail hour and couldn’t have said how she found her way to the head table. She talked with the other guests, the bridesmaids, Isabel’s mother; talked about the food, the vows, the flowers, how much Isabel and Ethan were glowing—and after each exchange, Cathleen forgot every word she had said. Time finally slowed down when Alex stood with his glass raised, and a hush fell on the banquet hall.
“When I got into college,” he said, looking at Ethan and Isabel, “in a new city, a new state, I was lucky enough to get Ethan as a roommate. More than a roommate, I got a friend who knew how to party—” Chuckling resounded through the hall. “—and who also knew how to work hard. And who didn’t hesitate to shake some sense into me when I kept partying when he thought it was time to work.”
More laughter and Alex continued with a grin.
“Once, after one of these parties, he came back to the dorm and woke me up to tell me, ‘I just met the woman of my dreams.’ Apparently, they had danced all night. The only trouble was that he had forgotten to ask for her name.”
This time, the laughter was uproarious and lasted for some time. Ethan took his face in his hands and Isabel patted his shoulder gently.
“So for the next two months, Ethan went to every single party thrown around campus, dragging me with him so I would remind him to ask for her name if we found her again.” At that moment, he looked at Cathleen and met her eyes across the table. “Cathleen, now you know why his grades took a plunge in his second year.”
To hear him say her name in front of everyone like that sent a flash of warmth down Cathleen’s spine. She could hear the love in his voice and was surprised that no one else seemed to pick up on it as they all laughed again and waited for the rest of his story.
“We went home for Christmas without having found her. But when we returned and started with new classes…” He smiled at Isabel. “There you were. First class on the first day, and I had never seen Ethan lose the power of speech before. I did what any good friend would have done. I elbowed him in the ribs and told him to go ask your name.”
A last round of laughter rang through the room. Alex cleared his throat and again raised his glass.
“Isabel, you married a good man today. Someone who will do his best to make you laugh and make you happy. I wish you both the very best. Just one thing: be sure to remind him your name every now and then.”
The clapping and laughing at this finale were equally as loud and delighted. Isabel stood up to give Alex a quick peck on the cheek, while Ethan shook his hand and offered him a one-arm hug. Cathleen found herself dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. Two more people offered toasts but she heard little of it, and it wasn’t long before the DJ, who had been playing quiet ambience music so far, announced it was time for the happy couple’s first dance.
“Aren’t they lovely?” Isabel’s mother asked Cathleen as the newlyweds started dancing to the slow rhythm of a ballad.
Her throat too tight for words, Cathleen only nodded. She kept her eyes on her son and Isabel, watched them smile at each other and share whispers, trying hard to chase away the memory of the last dance she had shared with Alex a few hours before. It was even harder not to look down the table at Alex.
After a few minutes, that first dance flowed seamlessly into a second piece of music, more upbeat. In moments, the dance floor was crowded and she lost sight of Ethan and Isabel. But through the dancers she caught sight of Alex and her heart ached when she realized he was dancing with one of the bridesmaids who had been flirting with him the night before.
This was the moment, she realized. This was when the balance tipped, one way or the other. She could let him dance with that pretty girl that was half her age, let the evening go without seeking his company again and let what they had shared fade away into fond memories and regret-filled ‘if only.’ Or she could take hold of this wondrous thing that had happened to her, and never let go of him again if he would only have her.
She had made this choice dozens of time before, each time intending to end their relationship, but she had never managed to hold on to that decision. Maybe she needed to choose yet again and, this time, do better.
Setting her napkin on the table, she stood and approached the dance floor. She remained on the edge for a few moments, watching Alex dance and trying to steady her nerves. In the end, she took advantage of a song change to step forward and walk over to Alex and his partner.
“Can I cut in?” she asked, and didn’t really hear the girl reply. All she could hear was her own heartbeat accelerating at the sight of Alex’s widening smile. He took her hand in his right one, set the left at her waist, and they started to move, keeping enough space between them to be proper.
“It was a lovely speech you made,” she told him with a smile.
Alex inclined his head, staying formal, playing her game to the letter. Of course he couldn’t know yet that tonight the rules had suddenly changed. “Thank you.”
“You’re right,” she continued. “He is a good man. I was lucky to have him in my life.”
One corner of Alex’s mouth lifted in a half grin. “I’d say he was lucky to have you in his.”
In her mind, Ethan’s words echoed again, telling her he couldn’t have dreamed of having a better mother.
“You know,” she said after a few more steps, “when I was your age, I thought I’d have the same boring life every other person I knew seemed
to have. I wanted that boring life. I’d meet someone in college or at work, we’d date for a while, get engaged, marry, have kids, buy a house.”
“With a white picket fence and a dog too?” Alex asked, a slight smile tugging at his lips.
She inclined her head. “Something like that.”
His gaze swept the dance floor and Cathleen followed his eyes, not too surprised to find that he was looking at Ethan.
“So how does he fit into that fantasy?” he asked when he turned his eyes back to her.
Her shrug in no way conveyed the endless, lonely years that had led her to Ethan. But she had put those feelings away a long time ago and she didn’t care to bring them back to life now.
“I just got tired of waiting for Mr. Right,” she said, ignoring her tight throat. “And my body grew older faster than I expected. I wanted a child so much but I couldn’t have one by myself. Then I tried to adopt a baby but that didn’t work out either. I ended up fostering this kid. I thought it’d just be for a few weeks, and there he is. There we are.”
The pride was thick in her voice as she finished, blinking to chase tears from her eyes. When she looked up at Alex again, he leaned over and brushed his forehead against hers, so fast that the gesture might have looked accidental to anyone who happened to notice it.
“Cathleen? Why are you telling me all this?”
From the tension in his voice, she could guess what he thought: that she was trying again to end things with him and was making excuses before she did. She tightened her hand a little more over his.
“I just want you to understand,” she murmured, “that my life has taken turns I never expected. And then I met you, and that was unexpected too. You made me feel young again. You made me feel happy. But nothing could be as unexpected as falling in love with you.”
She took a deep breath and launched herself into the unknown. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. He missed a step then stopped dancing altogether. He let go of her hand and drew her closer, holding her tight as he kissed her gently, as though afraid she might change her mind if he showed too much warmth. She broke the kiss and laid her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, and after a moment they started swaying to the music again.
Cathleen didn’t wonder if anyone had noticed them. Of course they must have; after all, she could hardly have chosen a more exposed place to do this. What about Ethan? Had he seen her kiss Alex? Was he watching them now? He wouldn’t make a scene; she had raised him better than that. But if he was upset he wouldn’t be shy in letting them know in private.
The level of the music dropped as the song ended and the DJ’s amplified voice rose over the dance floor. “And now the bride and her father will share their traditional dance with the groom and his mother. If everyone but the happy couple and their parents could please clear the dance floor, we can give them a turn with ‘What a Wonderful World.’”
Fear fluttered through Cathleen, a blind moth trying to escape a trap. She clung a little more tightly to Alex’s hand but even so he let go of her waist and took a step back. “He’s waiting for you,” he murmured. “It’ll be okay.”
She watched him pull away. The song was already playing and she knew without even looking that Ethan was behind her. She knew she had to turn but fear paralyzed her. Had he seen her with Alex? What expression would she find on his face? Would he even want to share this dance with her?
Ethan’s gentle hand settling on her shoulder startled her so much that she gasped. Her face felt very warm when she turned and took the hand he offered her. He started dancing, small steps to the rhythm of the music and she followed automatically. She stared at his tie as they danced, this same tie she had fastened for him what seemed like an eternity ago. He had loosened it a little, and unbuttoned the first button of his shirt.
She could feel his gaze on her but she didn’t dare look up and meet his eyes. Instead she looked around the room, watching the guests without truly seeing any of them. They were halfway through the song when Cathleen became so self-conscious that she had to look and see what expression was reflected on her son’s face. The anger and disgust she had feared were absent, and gratitude swept through her, unexpected yet welcome. However Ethan’s shock was plain as day.
“You promised,” she said at last, and her voice was equal parts protest and plea.
Ethan blinked, as though surprised. “I did, didn’t I?” He hugged her and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m happy for you. Stunned but happy. He’s a good man.”
A wave of sheer relief crashed over Cathleen, washing away all the fears and hesitations that had been plaguing her for months. “I know,” she said, choking up a little. “He really is.”
She expected him to ask questions but he didn’t say another word, smiling at her as they finished the dance. When the last chords of the song had played, he kissed her cheek and released her hand. His hand at her waist encouraged her to turn and he said quietly, “I think he’ll want the next dance” as he gave her a little push towards Alex.
Alex had been waiting near the bar with a glass of wine in hand but he set it down as she approached so that he could take her hands. He brought them both to his shoulders and slipped his arms around her waist. The DJ had started playing a faster song but they moved slowly to their own tune, ignoring the dancers around them.
It was only seconds before the “I told you so” she had expected—and rightfully deserved—came up. “I told you he’d understand, didn’t I?”
Wrapping her arms more tightly around his neck, she pressed her face to his shoulder. “You did, yes,” she said, swallowing a laugh of pure giddiness. “I’m sorry.”
But what she really meant was: I’m happy.
Alex pulled back to look at her, a devious glint in his eyes. “How sorry are you?” he asked, crinkles at the corner belying his sternness.
She raised an eyebrow at him, affecting a contrite tone. “A lot?”
He took her hand and pulled her away from the dance floor, guiding her through the maze of tables and finally outside, beyond the curtain-draped French windows. The night was so clear, the moon full and high in the sky, that the sand looked like silver. Alex started running toward the water, pulling her after him. In front of them, the ocean was glittering, gentle waves lapping at the beach. She tightened her hand over his and he looked back, smiling at her.
Cathleen couldn’t bear to let go of his hand, not now. “Alex,” she said, laughing, stumbling and out of breath. “Wait!”
He stopped and she dragged him back a few steps to pick up the sandal she had lost in the sand. Rather than slipping it back on, she hooked her finger through the strap and took the other one off as well. She turned back to Alex with a grin on her lips, then squealed in surprise when he swept her off her feet, a hand at her back and the other behind her knees. He twirled her around, with her arms looped around his neck and her head tilted up to the sky.
He only stopped when he started wavering off his feet and came close to falling. He let her down again and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. She was still a little dizzy when he pulled her a little further until they reached a small, wooden cabana on the edge of the beach where the hotel kept chaise lounges and other beach furniture. From the wicked look on his face, she thought he would find a way inside. It wouldn’t be the first time such a thing happened. Instead he led her to the other side of the cabana, where a high fence and a group of small trees offered privacy. Even so, she couldn’t help but cluck her tongue when he took both her hands and pushed her until her back was to the cabana wall.
“Don’t even think about it,” she said breathlessly. “We’re not—”
He stole her words with a kiss and tightened his hands in hers. When he pulled back, the grin that gleamed in his eyes was the devil’s own. “Didn’t you say I make you feel young again?” he asked in a sugary voice.
“I did,
” she reluctantly agreed. “But—”
“Then let’s be young,” he cut in gently, and it was hard to say no to him when he looked at her like this; like she was his entire world and there was nothing they couldn’t do together.
Pressing her gently against the wall of the cabana, he inched the hem of her skirt upward. His fingers felt cool as they danced over Cathleen’s knee, then her thigh, but fire coursed through her just the same, blazing trails that lit fireworks behind her closed eyelids. His mouth added another layer of sensations over it all, tracing arcane designs on her neck and shoulder.
She caught his hand as it reached her upper thigh, a last bit of reserve demanding that she stop him. She opened her eyes to look at him. “You are a terrible influence on me.”
Alex’s eyes sparkled and he grinned at her. “Maybe,” he said, inclining his head. “Or maybe I’m just the influence you always needed.”
Laughing up to the stars, Cathleen slipped both arms around him and held him close to her. This time, she wouldn’t let go. Not ever again.
* * * *
When Daisy entered the dining room after leaving Cathleen and Woods alone, everyone turned to her at once. Her friends’ expressions showed various degrees of amusement and incredulity.
Without preamble, Mike asked, “Is it true?”
Again Daisy had the clear feeling she had missed a joke or something. Smiling, she raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “Is what true?”
Since Mike was chuckling, Brad answered for him, gesturing at Brett with his empty glass. “Brett claims he forgot everything he saw. Is that true?”