Donald’s voice suddenly speaking again snapped Nathan out of his own thoughts for a moment.
“She wanted me to call let you know. She’s been afraid to say much on the matter to anyone, not even other family and friends just yet. But she didn’t want you to be the last to find out. Especially on the news or some other media.”
As upset as Nathan was that he was just now finding out, he understood her reasoning.
“She’s at the cancer center, UC in San Diego?”
“Yeah,” said Donald.
“Let her know I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”
Before Donald could maybe protest that it was against Hilary’s wishes for him to come or that it would be best to visit when she was of optimum health, Nathan hung up the phone and went to his computer to quickly began booking a flight. He and Hilary may be divorced, but there was still enough compassion there to go support her and hope she recovered.
*****
The next morning Nathan was in San Diego. He arrived in the afternoon, but it was better than not arriving at all. He had been his hotel room no more than thirty minutes before he had one of his personal assistants from his San Diego headquarters arrange for him to be picked up and taken to the cancer center.
When he arrived it was if the staff had already been expecting him. At first, he wasn’t entirely sure why she was still there, then he realized he was the one who was not fully informed about when she was diagnosed and how long she had been receiving treatment. He was guided to the recovery room where she was resting from a recent chemotherapy session and stopped in his tracks.
His heart nearly sank but then he had to consider all the factors that made this woman that was the gem in his crown for so many years appear so pale.
“Hey, you,” she said with a small smile.
“Hey, Hil,” Nathan responded, clutching the bouquet of mixed flowers he had hurriedly picked up at a florist in the airport.
He walked timidly to her bedside. She reached over to the controller that allowed her to adjust the bed so she could sit up a bit more. The more she sat up, Nathan felt a bit better. Lying nearly flat, she made him feel as if he was visiting her for the first and last time, like this was it. Not only was she out of their marriage, but out of his life.
Sitting more upright even made her cheeks look as if they had more of glow to them. Her strawberry blonde hair was slightly matted on top from lying down, but other than that she was still the beauty he had met nearly three decades ago.
“How are you, Nat?” she said. Her voice was thin and wispy.
“How are you?” Nathan asked.
She took a sharp breath and knew she owed him an explanation. She swallowed hard and then again. As she reached over to the nightstand that held her water pitcher and a cup of ice. Seeing she was using what little strength she had, Nathan stepped over to the nightstand and began pouring water into the small pink plastic cup.
He handed it to her and she gave him an appreciative grin. After taking two long sips and clearing her throat, her voice was still a bit weak but much clearer.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want your sense of Nathan-save-the-day-time to kick in.”
Nathan huffed at this, then had to laugh a little. He hated to admit it, but he knew she was right. Had she have told him about the diagnosis at the onset of it all he would’ve wanted to pull their divorce or get remarried just to be there for her. He would’ve missed out on Marnie, and moving on would not have been a consideration.
He rested his hand on hers and gave a gentle squeeze. “When would you have told me?”
She let a good healthy laugh, which made Nathan feel more at ease.
“After this treatment,” she chuckled. Her free hand went to her face to catch a sudden cough, then she laughed some more.
He stood there, holding her hand still and looking at the back of it. He rubbed his thumb across the thin skin there and thought of all the times he had taken holding anyone’s hand for granted.
“I take it they’re hoping this treatment will stop it from spreading,” he said curiously.
She nodded silently. Nathan felt himself finally taking it all for what it was. There was no sense in letting the guilt of their failed marriage stop him from showing that he cared still. She may make it, she may not. He was sincerely hoping she did; not because he was hoping there was some glimmer of hope they may be able to still be in each other’s lives, but because he wanted her to see him do what she told him to do: Be happy. Be well.
He wanted her to see him not looking like some jet-setting playboy having a midlife crisis the way the media was portraying him, but as a man who finally realized love isn't one-sided. That it takes the two of you bringing your lives together, not one of you grabbing it by the reins and taking wherever you feel it should go.
“Nathan,” she whispered. “I also didn’t want you to come here and not be able to go back in gladness.”
This struck Nathan as a really forward and to the point thing to say, which wasn’t Hilary’s way. But much like their one and only phone conversation this year, he figured maybe she was looking at life differently now.
“I want you, after this visit, to get back on that plane, get back to your life, and live a better one than we had. Whether you do it alone or with someone, you still have time.”
“And so do you,” he said quickly. He didn’t like the road she was going down with the way she was speaking to him. She was talking as though she even felt she may not overcome cancer. Nathan wouldn’t allow that.
She simply smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “Like we said. We’re going to be ok.” For the first time since he held her hand, she squeezed his too.
Nathan found a nearby chair in the room and pulled it up close to her bedside. After sitting down, he reached back through a guardrail and grabbed hold of her hand again. He stayed until they transferred her to another room to prep those for outpatient care.
He was told by tomorrow if he wanted to check her out and get her home, he was more than welcome to. Despite him being adamant that he would like to do just that, Hilary insisted her sister was already flying in to visit her and get her back home, where she was going to be helping take care of her and the house Nathan and she owned in San Diego.
He wasn’t thrilled about the decisions and arrangements that had been made, but he relented and told Hilary he would be flying out in the morning.
He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and told her he would call her as soon as he made it back to Jamaica tomorrow. They held each other’s hands tighter than they had even in all the years they were married, and Nathan made his way out the room. When he reached the elevator at the end of the hall as soon as the door shut, he burst into silent tears.
*****
The flight back to Jamaica was the longest flight of Nathan’s life. It was like a Friday that would never end. He hadn’t cried since the day before in the elevator. It was cathartic. Throughout the separation, then divorce, he had held strong and not entirely broken down over how his marriage had broken down. No. He had picked himself up and dusted himself off. He had totally rearranged his life to get back on top of things with his business and even managed to have the luck of finding someone he could possibly see spending his life with.
It had never occurred to him he hadn’t “dealt” with it all. It was more like he had pushed it aside and just kept going. In his mind, a bullet of regret can’t hit you if you keep moving. But in the elevator, his heart bled over the thought of Hilary not surviving her fight with breast cancer. It would be such a final incident in his life that he wasn’t used to.
He didn’t know what it was like for anything to truly just end. He even still had work-related friendships and stocks and investments and things he’s managed to hold on to since his early twenties. Divorce was just a word for we aren’t together, but death was a thing so utterly absolute Nathan had never considered what it meant for something or someone to be gone
without any hope of return.
When the plane landed in Jamaica, Nathan’s thoughts immediately went to how he would handle losing Marnie some day. Could he cope with losing her, especially if Hilary passed away? A driver had been arranged as usual to pick him up from the airport, and when he reached his home, he was greeted by that now familiar stark emptiness as before.
What would it be like to have her here, then have her gone? He couldn’t fathom it. If the house felt this loveless after Hilary left how on Earth would he stay sane if Marnie came and then went?
Nathan still had to pack up his things and get on the road to Kingston. Now more than ever he wanted to ask Marnie to come live with him, but his original plan was to get a hotel to stay in overnight until tomorrow afternoon.
After loading everything into the car, he then went back to the villa and decided to he wanted to see Marnie tonight. Tomorrow would come and they would have the time at the park, but his thoughts compelled him to hold her in his arms tonight. To finally tell her he loved her, tonight. Maybe part of it was fear but also part selfishness. He wanted to let the pain of losing Hilary go. She was still alive but his heartache over her someday truly being gone made him want to run to Marnie even more.
He found what he had reentered the house for. He frantically dialed Marnie’s number and she almost instantly picked up.
“Hey,” Nathan said. He hoped his voice didn’t sound strained.
“Hey handsome,” she said cheerfully. “What’s up with you?”
“I’m coming in tonight to Kingston, so I can be there in time for tomorrow.”
“Ok! I figured as much.”
“I want to see you tonight,” he said abruptly.
“Uh, ok,” Marnie stuttered. “Is everything alright?”
Nathan didn’t want to tell her all of what he was feeling. Someday, but not tonight. He’d let her know how he felt for her and leave his hurt aside. All he wanted was to take advantage of whatever time they have left together on this Earth, and that was all he knew.
“Everything is fine, I just—I want to see you tonight. I’ll be there soon as I can.”
“Ok,” she said hesitantly. “I’ll see you when you get here.”
Nathan was already back outside and in his car when he hung up the phone. If there was a way he could have teleported to her to get there faster he sure would have. His mind simply couldn’t stop thinking over how none of us are promised tomorrow. He didn’t fully believe Marnie could wipe all his hurt or fear or regret away, but she was worth having the best he had to give, and that was what he wanted to give her right that moment.
What was typically a two- or three-hour drive seemed to be a mere forty-five minutes. Nathan pulled up in Marnie’s driveway and nearly jumped out of it. He had time to pull his emotions together on the ride there, but his determination to show Marnie how much he loved her was strong as it was when he left Ocho Rios.
Marnie must have heard his car door shut because she was standing in the doorway by the time he walked around the front of his car.
“Wow! You must have been going nearly twenty miles over the speed limit to get here so quick,” she said in surprise.
Nathan rushed forward through her front door and threw his arms around her, locking her into a sudden kiss. Marnie was completely taken aback. She kissed him with a softness at first then matched his intensity. Their arms were now wrapped around one another as they nearly danced away the front door into the living room.
Marnie finally broke their kiss but not without some effort. “Are you alright, Nathan?”
He looked down at her, gently rubbing the sides of both her shoulders.
“I’m better than alright, Marnie. I’m…” He paused. It was like something had gotten caught in his throat, then he finally let it out. “I’m in love.”
At first, Marnie wasn’t sure she understood, then her eyes grew big and he could tell she got what he was trying to say.
“Marnie, I’m in love with you. I love you and probably have loved you from that first time we had lunch together in that bistro café.”
She looked up at him with wide eyes and finally spoke.
“I love you too, Nathan.” Those words were quickly followed by surprised giggles. He wondered was she laughing because of her surprise at his declaration of love or her own.
He grabbed her face gently in his hands and kissed her more tenderly than before. She greeted his lips with her own and soon their kisses melded into far more seductive nibbles and tongue searching.
It was Nathan’s turn, this time, to loosen their lips and speak. His words breathed against her mouth. “I love you and I don’t want to ever waste another second not showing you or telling you.” He kissed her again and again.
Marnie backed away gently, leaving Nathan lingering for more. She softly took his hand and they began walking back to her master bedroom.
Once inside, Marnie gracefully removed the nightgown she had been wearing, revealing that she had absolutely nothing underneath. Nathan found himself once again in awe of her beautiful round curves and mocha-caramel skin. He immediately began removing his clothes as she began to pull back the bed sheets and slide slowly under the covers, her eyes watching his.
He hadn’t felt so thankful, so alive. He even asked himself how he ever became so fortunate to have his eyes opened to how an ending is just a new beginning. Most people go their whole life and never appreciate the chance to start anew while they still can. Nathan was about to start things over with Marnie. They both deserved a new start, starting tonight.
Nathan slid in bed under the covers and instantly pulled her to him as he scooted in. The warmth coming from her body was like being welcomed into paradise. He buried his face against her neck and showered her with kisses there. She let out more giggles like the ones before and threw her leg over his right hip. They lay on their sides facing one another and both smiling from ear to ear.
He slid his right hand between the two of them, eagerly cupping her right breast as his lips made their way around to kiss her full bottom lip. She let out a soft sigh and leaned her head back. Nathan followed along with her body language and kissed her under the chin and across her throat, kneading and squeezing her breast in his palm.
The two of them made a quick repositioning which resulted in Marnie sitting atop Nathan’s lap. He was fully erect, but she sat just above his stiff prick and leaned forward playfully kissing him along his neck this time. Neither of them had ever been so eager to kiss someone as many times as they could in one day. Their lips danced together almost in a playful sense. Maybe it was the joy of finally saying the three words they were too afraid to say before that made this time together so different from the rest.
Nathan let his hands walk their way down to her round hips and eventually rested them on her butt cheeks. He squeezed them tight and let out a satisfied “mmm” at how wonderfully full and plump they felt in his grip. Marnie lifted herself up a bit higher to where her nipples were right at his eye level and Nathan was more than ready to meet them with his tongue.
Taking time to lick and flick the left breast, he soon took his right hand to hold it steady and cup the hard nipple fully between his lips. Marnie let out a gasp of passion. His lips firm around the nipple, he began gliding his tongue around the taut flesh while it was held in his mouth. He felt Marnie’s hips roll slightly forward while she was slightly balanced on her knees. She had her hands on the headboard to brace herself, giving Nathan full exposure of her beautiful breasts.
He released that nipple from its hold and kissed his way across to the other breast and started sinking his mouth around that one. Marnie began sighing blissfully. Nathan still gripped her right butt cheek with his left hand and began squeezing and caressing it as he sucked her nipple harder. He heard Marnie let out a perfect moan and felt his lap sudden damp from her excitement. Her hips pushed forward for a moment and Nathan seized the opportunity to reposition the two of them. He let go of her breast from his mout
h, and placing both hands on her hips, he motioned her to float downward as his thrust his hips up and forward.
His thick cock instantly shut up into that soaking wet space between her legs and Marnie let out another but much louder moan. He could sense she was holding back taking the full length of him inside of her. He gently urged her to sit fully top him, to let every inch race up into the depth of her
“Take it all, Marnie. All of my love. Take it all,” he practically begged.
With eyes still shut and one of her hands still on the headboard, she eased herself completely down and he felt her tighten around him. His mouth opened letting out a deep moan, then he began guiding her hips with his hands to roll and rock, rise and fall.
He looked up at the expression of ecstasy on her face and a small grin escaped him. His gaze went downward to the place where their bodies met and he watched as she rode him with skill and perfect rhythm. She was so wet and so fluid in her motions Nathan found himself rushing his hips up to greet her each time she slid down.
He closed his eyes and let himself just feel everything. This was more than just feeling her physically but feeling her letting go again and for good. She began picking up speed and it actually surprised him enough to send his eyes back wide open and looking downward. He mouthed a silent “oh wow” as he laid his head back down on the pillow. She was amazing! Marnie's voice was almost operatic as she moaned and bounced up and down on his cock. He placed his hands back on her backside and timed her motions. He wanted them both to just let go and never look back after tonight.
Her breasts swayed and bounced just out of reach of his mouth, but he did not mind at all. His focus was on her pleasure. He felt her throbbing and squeezing and she completely landed fully and began rolling her hips in a circle. She said yes, then yes and tilting her head back with her hands on his chest shook and laid forward. Her head rested on his chest in exhaustion. Most men would have found a way to continue to get their own orgasm in. Nathan had done so before with Marnie, but tonight that’s not why he was there.
Have My Child: BWWM Romance (Brothers From Money Book 14) Page 21