"Lobby?" someone said from the side of me.
I started to nod and Tucker said, "Yeah." Swallowing down hard, it felt like I swallowed my tongue; my mouth was so dry.
When we finally made it to the lobby, my face was flaming red from my smile as we passed Michael.
"Evening," he nodded at us as we passed him.
"Thanks, man," Tucker told him.
The night air was cold as November hit, and the wind was chilly. Good thing Tucker told me to grab a coat; even though I was wearing my white cardigan sweater, I still would have been shivering out of my mind. We started walking towards Central Park as Tucker held my hand.
My teeth chattered, "Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise," was all he told me as we crossed the street. We walked down a trail and made our way deep into the trees. The wind picked up and blew my hair all around my face; I even heard Tucker chuckle as my hair hit his face.
"I know it's cold and I'm sorry for bringing you out here." He shrugged out of his leather jacket and handed it to me, then he pulled off his gray hoodie, leaving him in a black, long sleeved V-neck. I watched him put his leather jacket back on, and then looked at me, waiting. But I didn't know why he was waiting. He nodded at my hands as I was holding his gray hoodie.
"Put it on."
I unzipped my jacket, shrugging it off, and then pulled the hoodie over my head and down my body. Tucker held out my silver jacket to slide my arms through. He then pulled the gray hood up and tucked my hair in around the sides, then pulled on the strings to tighten it around my face, and zipped my jacket back up.
"There, now you'll stay a little warmer," he said with a smile.
I stared back into his caring eyes and he leaned down to give me another kiss. "Thank you."
"Anything for you, baby girl. Your lips are getting cold; let's hurry."
We continued to walk around in Central Park. I was happy for the extra jacket because the temperature dropped within minutes. I learned that the faster you walked, the warmer your body got, so I picked up the pace. Tucker laughed and picked up his pace as well; the next thing I knew, we were running on the trail holding hands. I was laughing as Tucker chased behind me, suddenly letting go of my hand. When I turned around, he was gone.
"Tucker?" I called out, but the wind was too strong; it even sounded muffled to me as it was lost in the wind. "Tucker?" I started walking back the way we came when he jumped out from behind a tree and scared the living crap out of me. I screamed as he tackled me to the icy cold ground, then started tickling me. I kicked my legs and tried to wiggle out of his hands as his fingers dug through my many layers of clothing.
"AH! Stop…" I said, trying to take a deep breath. "Tucker, stop." He laughed at me as I settled down and straddled me. My teeth started chattering together, and you could see my breath as I huffed out the air from my lungs, trying to breathe. Tucker leaned down and kissed me. I could never grow tired of him kissing me, with his soft lips and hot tongue; if I had the choice, his tongue would never leave my mouth.
I was no longer cold when Tucker pulled away and climbed off of me. "Come on, before we get ourselves in trouble." I giggled and nodded.
We walked for a couple more minutes before we stopped outside of a little building that looked kinda like a green house. I stopped in my path of steps and observed it; the roof was glass and pointed at the top—just like something out of a movie. The walls outside were wood, but some were falling off and the green paint was peeling. It was very rundown. "Tucker, what is this place?"
He turned and cupped my cheeks, "It's just an old greenhouse; no one knows it's here. "It's just us," he said, softly kissing me.
Tucker and I were going to be alone together; I could scream with joy, but then I was also very nervous. I remembered what happened when we kissed…something inside me starts to grow and awaken. I never want the kissing to end; I wanted it to take me places I'd never been before, and I only wanted Tucker.
As we reached the door, Tucker actually had to kick it in order to get it to open. Inside was all dark, but with the glass roof, we could easily see the sky and clouds.
Tucker faced me. "Shut your eyes."
I raised my brows. "You're not going to murder me or anything, are you?" I knew he wouldn't, but I was curious and I was joking.
"Never. I like watching you do that toe thing too much."
I giggled and shut my eyes. I could hear his footsteps move away from me. I wanted to open my eyes, but I'd let him surprise me with whatever he had planned. I heard a click which sounded like a fan starting up. Another click and the back of my eyelids flashed red with the light that now appeared. I still had my eyes closed when his footsteps were closer to me and he kissed my cheek. "Open your eyes," he whispered in my ear. I opened them to a room full of white Christmas lights covering the walls. I was lost for words. The little fan I heard was actually a space heater to help warm up the tiny room. Taking off my silver coat, I kept on his gray hoodie – mainly because it smelled of him.
There was a little card table in the middle of the room with two lit candles on it.
"Our first candlelit dinner," he said from behind me, and I smiled to myself. He knew I could care less for all the fancy things I was used to from Carol, so this was perfect.
"Tucker, this is beautiful." My hand went to my chest as I felt tiny tears form. The room was perfect in every way.
"Are you surprised?" I turned back to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was my turn to take his breath away with my kiss, but he didn't let it get out of control like I wanted it to.
"I'm very surprised."
"Good. Come sit down."
We approached the little wooden table. He had everything you could think of for a dinner date just like if we went to sit down at a fancy restaurant: white plates, silver utensils, and even glass cups. In the middle of the table between the candles was a silver bowl with a lid and a little candle underneath it to help keep the food warm. Tucker pulled out my chair and I sat down. He leaned over me to grasp the lid, "For my lady, her specialty, and because," he pulled off the lid to macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs, "it's the oddest thing I've ever heard."
I busted out laughing, "I can't believe you remembered."
"I wanted to make it for you. And for drink, you get this."
I watched as he filled my cup full of chocolate milk. He really did remember my favorite childhood meal. "I really can't believe you remembered."
Tucker sat across from me. "It's no big deal. Just thought you would like it and I gotta try it."
"I love it, Tucker." He met my eyes which were so filled with happiness, they sparkled. I smiled.
"Tucker?"
"Yeah?" He started filling up my plate, then his.
"Before we start, I wanted to know what we are."
He looked at me dumbfounded, like he didn't know what I meant, but being a girl, I was pushy, I guess. But I felt a little weird for asking. This night was going so well and I had to open up my mouth. But I wanted to know, too.
Then we sat in silence, which seemed like forever, but it was more like two and a half seconds.
"Are you…um…my umm…"
"Boyfriend?" he finished the sentence for me that I couldn't get out.
My face flushed. I did want to know what we were. "Well, yeah," I answered as I tucked a piece of loose hair behind my ear.
"What do you think?"
Are you kidding me? Now, I had to answer that. He answered a question with a question. So unfair. I wanted to be his girlfriend, but did he want to be my boyfriend? That sounded so childish to me, but I gave my honest answer.
"I want to if you want to."
Jitters made my legs shake as I waited for him to answer me. Yes, it was stupid to think so.
"I do." I let a big breath out that I didn't realize I was holding.
"I was gonna talk to you about it tonight. I want you to be mine. I kinda tell people you're my girl anyway."
Tucker stood up from his chair and walked over to sit on a stool that faced out through Christmas light windows. Something inside him shut down. I watched as he occasionally picked at his fingernails. My body was warm, so I pulled off his hoodie and his spicy smell left me.
Quietly walking over to him, I placed my hand on his shoulder; he looked up at me with dreading, sad eyes, just from sitting here thinking by himself, and I knew something was bothering him. My heart broke.
"What's wrong?" he asked, but he gave me a side smile as he pulled me onto his lap and I went willingly into his soft embrace.
"Just thinking about how lucky I am," he said, kissing my cheek. "My life has been hell, even now. But when I'm with you…it's different. You're all I want, just you. Everything around you just stops and it's just us against everything else. I feel like you're the only thing I have in my life that's good." He gulped, "I want only you. You're the only thing that's good for me."
I tried to move to take a look at his face which went from troubled to sincere. I loved how he just opened up to me. I only wanted to bring him comfort. Our eyes locked and I leaned down to softly kiss him. This small little kiss I was giving would change us; I wasn't going to stop it. I deepened the kiss and pressed myself closer to him, but it didn't feel close enough; I repositioned myself so that my chest was up against his. His hands roamed over my back and up the back of my head; he tugged just a little bit on my hair, which caused me to moan into his mouth. Tucker's lips were moving harder against mine as I took his every move, his tongue thrusting with mine—just like we couldn't get enough of each other.
Tucker's hands went from the back of my head to the side of my body, barely touching the sides of my breasts; his fingers were digging into my skin, pulling at my sweater, and sending chills up and down my arms. My own hands moved down between us as I started to push off his leather jacket. Once it fell to the ground, I started pulling at his shirt to show a little hair trailing from his belly button down to the hidden part in his blue boxers. I felt him quiver, so I decided to lightly rake my fingernails down his stomach and he shook with his own desire.
I pulled away from him to take a breath of air; I felt as if I had been swimming and held my breath too long, making me dizzy. I shut my eyes and rested my forehead against his as I pulled at his black sweater, and I opened my eyes to find his blue ones boring into mine.
"Tucker." His name on my tongue only seemed to turn him on more, because once again, he attacked my mouth. I pulled on the hem of his long sleeved t-shirt to pull it off; as it passed our faces, I saw a shadow on his right shoulder. I pulled back to get a better look, and what I saw amazed me. He had a tattoo that started at the top of his shoulder, curved around the back of his arm and down the front of his bicep. Three different lined directions morphed into one with this beautiful black tattoo.
Breathlessly, I said, "When did you get this?" I traced the lines with my fingers at the beautiful artwork. The design really brought out the muscle tone in his arms. Last time I saw him with no shirt on, he didn't have this. The black marks twisting were beautiful. Very Tucker.
He shrugged. "Jett likes a living canvas when he wants to practice," Tucker said as he nuzzled the inside of my neck, lightly kissing my skin.
"It's beautiful," I whispered, still tracing the lines up and down. I can't believe he did something like that. Just out of the blue and for practice. Tucker slipped my sweater down my shoulder to nibble on my collarbone; my head went his shoulder as we both fit perfectly together. "Tucker," I moaned, while wrapping my legs around his middle as he stood up from the stool.
"Hold on, baby girl."
He walked back over to the middle of the room, pulling me away from him to set me on my feet, then he went to the closet to pull out a bunch of blankets on the floor in front of the space heater, making a little bed out of it.
Tucker came back, staring into my eyes before grabbing my hand to lead me over to the little makeshift bed as we both dropped to our knees. His hand came up to cup my cheek as I felt his warm embrace; I loved having us skin to skin.
Before I could even back down at my next move, I grabbed the hem of my sweater and pulled it off, leaving me in my white cotton bra. His eyes roamed over my chest and down my breast as his took me in. "Gabs, we don't need to do anything you don't want to. I know that maybe you feel pressured, but I wanted to tell you, it's okay to wait." He gulped down hard. "I want you to know that; I have strong feelings for you and I don't want to rush you."
I placed my fingers over his soft lips. "I want this. Let me have this. Give me this one thing. Only you, Tuck."
I hugged him; just the feeling of our hot skin touching gave me chills. Yes, I wanted this. I reached behind me to unclasp my bra, letting the straps fall down my shoulders. Tucker pulled away and stared into my eyes as my bra fell to the floor between us. Not once did he look at my naked breasts. In a way, that didn't bother me. He wasn't checking them out like I'm sure other guys would, but he looked at me. It made me feel special, wanted, adored as if he was looking at me. I was the only one who mattered right now in his eyes.
However, Tucker's eyes finally did look down, giving me quivers. He leaned in to tenderly kiss me, his bare hands on my back with his nails gently digging in my skin. My hands went into his hair, slightly pulling. We started to fall back into the soft blankets. I reached between us to pop his zipper on his pants. He immediately started pulling away from me.
"Gabs, no," he tried pleading with me, his eyes caring and easy as he stared at my face. I didn't even want to answer him. I just wanted to touch, to feel. I continued my little journey between our bodies as I felt his hair on the tips of my fingers, and he was very much ready for me, as I was for him. He dropped his head against mine and he groaned out in pleasure as I unhurriedly teased him.
We slowly took our time; Tucker kissed me from my lips to my collarbone, between my breasts, in my belly button, across my hips. My hands tangled into his hair as he unsnapped the button holding my jeans together and slowly unzipped them. The sound of my jeans unzipping sent shivers up my stomach, awakening places that had never come to life, yet. My breathing picked up as I sighed, grinding the back of my head into the soft blankets behind me.
Tucker pulled my jeans down as they passed my hips, then they were gone. He kissed me down my thighs to the tops of my knees. I could feel his long hair on the inner side of my thighs as he moved down some more. The feeling was so exotic and new that my body craved more. I wanted more. I felt my left foot being lifted into the air, and I opened my eyes to see Tucker looking at my bruised foot and toes. I had to admit, I didn't have the prettiest looking feet because of my ballet. Embarrassed, I tried to pull my foot from his grasp, but he wouldn't let go; he just slowly starting rubbing the soles of my foot, then kissed each toe. He did the same with my right. I was in heaven.
We couldn't stop kissing. Our hands explored each other's bodies, caressing each other. Tucker pushed hair back from my face as his lips nibbled against my earlobe, his hot breath making me flush all over. My body was shaking with need from him; I wanted him more and more. The strong pull was back and my heart squeezed so much it hurt. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was falling in love with Tucker. I smiled as I opened my eyes to the glass roof above us; it was perfect with the soft glow of the Christmas lights. It was the only light in the room and past the glowing glass was the moon, shinning bright above us. This night couldn't be more perfect.
I was in love with Tucker.
It seemed like we kissed and caressed each other's bodies forever. Then our underwear finally disappeared. Tucker pushed up on his hands, looking at me while his strong body settled between my legs.
"Abigail." I was a little taken aback with the use of my first name. Tucker never called me Abigail. My heart sped up as I took in a shaky breath. His blue eyes bored into mine with heat and passion as his next words struck my heart in every direction.
He let out a soft sigh, "I love you."
My e
yes started to water with happiness, then slipped out the corners. He wiped them away and I laughed. I was so deliriously happy just from hearing those words I'd only heard before from my dad.
I cupped his cheek and pressed my lips to his. When our kiss was over, our foreheads were together with our noses brushing each other's. "I love you, too, Tucker," I said, and I meant every single word of it. He kissed me again, this time showing me just how much he wanted me. My body tingled as I thrusted my hips up to meet his, but he pulled back and broke our kiss.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded and Tucker slowly guided himself into me. The feeling was okay at first, and then it became foreign and unwelcoming. The unexpected burning sensations made me cringe up my face and hold my breath. I shut my eyes as I gasped for breath, but he kept going. The burning and pressure wasn't subsiding at all. I whimpered a little bit.
"Deep breaths, baby girl," Tucker whispered, as he pushed all the way in, until he almost rested inside me. My nails dug into his skin of his shoulders, which made him push harder into me and I cried out in pain.
Tucker brushed more hair away from my face, trying everything he could to soothe me, "Shhh…It's okay. I've got you." I started to shake uncontrollably, my breathing picked up way too much, and my heart was racing. The more I tried to control my breathing, more tears cascaded down the sides of my face and into my hair.
"Hey," Tucker whispered, "Look at me, Gabs."
Now more than ever, I felt so completely stupid for crying while losing my virginity. I thought it was supposed to be this mind blowing experience, and now I was crying like a big baby. I dug my palms into my eyes and applied as much force as I could to help take my mind off the pressure I was feeling between my legs.
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