My hands came down, my eyes completely wet. "Leave!"
Tucker stopped and didn't say anything to us as I watched his angry footsteps stomping away from me, and then he slammed my front door. I fell into the couch, covering my face again to cry some more. Alex sat next to me, rubbing my leg; I could tell he was just trying to comfort me, but it wasn't working. I kicked Tucker out because I was mad and I was really mad. Seeing him brought back all those alone feelings I'd felt for the past month with being by myself. Jade was the one being by me as I threw up from morning sickness. I wanted what the article said when I was in Dr. Walters' office. The woman who was so sick, her husband took care of her, held her hair back. I wanted that so badly. Could Alex do that for me? I looked up at him and he just stared into my eyes. His blue eyes were sad, but he tried to give me a side smile.
"Alex, I'm pregnant with Tucker's baby. You could deal with raising another man's child?" I thought of Carol put in the same situation with me and my dad. Could Alex love this baby like his own? Or would this innocent child be neglected and get hurt like me?
His eyes moved to the floor, and then he nodded. "I could, but I can't do it by myself. I need you there with me. I think we could be good together; it could be a great thing, you and me. Come to Paris with me when the semester is over and I'll prove it to you. You don't have to give me an answer about the proposal, but come with me and let me prove to you that I am a good guy. I can take care of you."
On a whim, I nodded. "Okay," I agreed, and it was done. I believed that Alex deserved that much from me. I think he deserved a chance from me. It took a lot for a man to admit that he was willing to take care of a child that wasn't his. He wanted to prove to me that he could be by my side, even though it wasn't his.
Alex stood up, pulling on my hand to follow him. "I've got to make arrangements for our trip." All I could do was nod as we walked hand in hand to the front door. Alex stopped and cupped my face again as he leaned down and softly kissed my lips. I kissed him back, but there was still no spark. I had to admit, I was hoping there would be something there that time.
"I'll call you." I nodded again, biting my lower lip, and he left.
My back was up against the front door when I heard a loud clump down the hallway.
I jogged down the hallway and into Jade's room where she was throwing everything of hers into an open suitcase on her bed. Her dark band posters were stripped from the walls and ripped to pieces. Jade was in her closet throwing shoes, causing the banging I heard earlier.
"What are you doing?'' I asked, walking in and almost getting hit in the face with a black boot.
"Get out, Gabs. I don't want you in here," she told me as I continued to walk in the room to make my way to her bed.
"Jade, what's going on? Why are you so upset?"
That got her attention really fast. She came bursting out of the closet with an armful of more black boots threaded with black clothes.
"I was asleep on your bed and my phone woke me up. It was Tucker, looking for you; he said he wanted to talk. He was right outside the building, so I told him to come up, you were here and just to come in. I figured you fell asleep on the couch or something. So, I came out to the living room to see Alex so close to you, it was sickening!" She stormed past me and tossed the clothes in the suitcase. "Then he kissed you. At first, I was thinking, "Oh, it's no big deal." then I watched you pretty much make your way into his fucking lap to kiss him back!"
"You knew Tucker was coming, didn't you? You knew he would see that when he walked in."
"Yeah, I knew. He had to know that you had your tongue down someone else's throat while pregnant with his baby!"
"He's been gone. I didn't know I would even see him again, Jade."
"Poor you and your pity party. And stop making excuses. Plus you knew that money talk irritates Tucker. You know how badly he wished he had money to take care of you. That probably hurt him more than anything." Jade zipped up her suitcase and headed out of her room.
"This isn't about the money! Where are you going?" I called after her.
"I can't stay here. I'm going to my dad's."
What? Jade hated being there. She couldn't leave me here. I grabbed her arm, trying to stop her. "Jade don't go, you can't leave me here."
"Sorry, Gabs, I can't stay here with you if you're going to be with Alex. You know it's because of your dad's firm, right? He's using you. Tucker loves you. So pull your head out of that rich snob ass of yours and do the right thing." She wrenched her arm away from my hold, and stomped out the door.
And once again, I was left alone.
More days went by and I didn't hear from Jade. I texted her countless times, but she never replied back to me. I knew that I messed up things with Tucker. Big time. I shouldn't have made him leave that day at my apartment when Alex was over.
The next day after Jade left, I ended up at my old house. Carol was ecstatic to see me and my little bump that barely showed. My dad just kinda grunted at me all night and didn't speak to me during dinner. Alex ended up coming over about an hour later and, as it turned out, he bought tickets for my dad and Carol to join us in Paris. That was just great and the last thing I needed in my life was to have Carol breathing down my neck and put more pressure on me about marrying Alex.
At dinner, I told them that I hadn't given my choice about whether or not Alex was the right choice of a husband. As we sat together in the living room, my dad said he wanted a word with me in his office. He'd never done this before, but I wasn't dumb; I knew that he wanted to talk about Tucker and what was going on. He knew I didn't even really like Alex, either. My dad knew something was up.
I eventually had enough nerve to walk into his office and sit in the leather chair across from his desk. He looked tired, taking his glasses off and pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes, then letting a big breath out his nose.
"Abigail, tell me what's going on between you and Alex with no lies, young lady."
"Alex is a great guy, Daddy; I decided to let him take me to Paris after the semester is over."
"What about Kyle?" He sat his glasses down on his desk.
"Tucker came over yesterday to talk, but he walked in while Alex was over and we were kissing," I said, ending with the word kissing in a whisper. My dad just looked at me with nothing in his eyes. Just straight forward stared at me.
"Does he know about the baby?"
I nodded, "Yeah, he does."
"Do you want to handle this in court? I'm sure I can represent you so that you have full custody. Given Kyle's background, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem."
I shook my head, "I don't want that. If he doesn't want to be around, then that's his problem. I'm not going to force him into being a dad, and if he doesn't want to be with me, I'm not going to force him on that either."
My dad cleared his throat, "And if he wants to be with you?"
I cast my eyes to the floor. I wished deep down Tucker would have stayed last night and I sent Alex away. It was too late now. I couldn't take it back.
"I wouldn't want anything more than for him to want to be with me."
My dad smiled at me and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk.
"Then don't you think you should go to him? Fight for him? I think he deserves that."
I thought about chasing him down after Jade left, but I was shocked that Jade packed up and moved herself out of the apartment. Tucker did deserve to be fought for and I was going to do it. Right now.
I got up from the leather couch and opened my dad's office door and collided with a solid chest of Alex.
"Excuse me, Alex." I tried to move around him, but he held onto my shoulders.
"I would like to talk to you outside for a minute," he told me as his blue eyes stared me down. But this was a different kind of stare; it was more along the lines of a "do what I say" kind of stare.
"Alex, come in here and let's talk. Abigail has to go home now."
Alex held up a finger to
my dad. "Just a moment, David, I'll be right back."
Alex gripped my arm tighter as we walked by the living room and he tugged me all the way out the front doors and made me sit down next to him.
"What's your problem?"
"I need an answer."
"An answer for what, exactly? I already told you I would go to Paris with you."
"An answer to my proposal,"
My jaw dropped. "I told you, I don't have an answer for you. We don't even know each other. That's the whole point of going to Paris, to get to know one another."
I wrenched my arms out of his hold. I wasn't going to marry Alex and that was clear; I agreed to give him a chance and he was losing it pretty quick.
"Look," Alex reached into the inside pocket of his suit and pulled out the little blue box. Carol knew that I had it in my purse; she must have given it back to him. Alex opened it and my breath caught. The ring was very gorgeous, but I hadn't seen it since the day he proposed to me. It sparkled more now in the sunlight than it did in the restaurant.
"Abigail, I know that we have our differences, but I think we can move past that." He took the ring out of the box and moved down to one knee if front of me and grabbed my left hand. I tried to pull away, but he held on tight. "Abigail, just try it on, please." I didn't answer him as he slipped the cold metal on my ring finger. The diamond was beautiful, and with the other little surrounding diamonds, it made it even more gorgeous.
"Do you like it? If not, you can go pick something else out." I looked up at Alex who was smiling very big, but I pulled the ring off my finger and his smile disappeared.
"I'm sorry, Alex, but I have to go now."
I stood up and tossed the ring into the air as a distraction, and then I ran towards Central Park. I heard Alex shout my name, but I didn't stop. When I reached the corner to push the button to make the light change for me to cross the street, it felt like forever. I ran across the street and down the little path into Central Park. The park was huge, but the hidden greenhouse route was burned into my memory. I knew Tucker would be there. I yelled out left to people walking, letting them know that I was on the left of them and they moved.
My feet hit the pavement, making me hear every single step my feet made. I was out of breath, but I kept running. I didn't think about whether running would hurt the baby. I read somewhere that working out while pregnant was good and wouldn't hurt the baby. I ran up a hill then down and around a corner to the secret trail where I went back up a steep hill, then the green house came into view.
"Oh, thank you," I tried to cry out. I was happy I remembered where the green house even was. I jogged over to the door, not even bothering to knock. Ethan hung around here with his dealing buddies, but the thought didn't even occur to me as I opened the door. I'm glad I didn't stop, because Tucker was the only one there sitting in that same chair I cuddled in with him on the night I lost my virginity to him.
"Tucker." I brushed my hair out of my face and he looked up. He looked like crap with bags under his eyes, hair messy as always, rumbled up clothes too and that hot black leather jacket that I loved so much.
"Gabs." He got right up and made his way over to me. Our bodies crashed together and Tucker kissed me. He kissed me so hard and I loved it. I missed it. This was it, the spark that I missed so much.
"You're here," he said around my mouth, trailing kisses down my neck. "I thought I lost you."
"Tucker, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." I found myself clinging to him with everything that I had. "I want you, only you," I cried.
"No, I'm sorry, Gabs. I'll quit everything. Dealing and just focus on tattooing, everything. I can't lose you and our baby. I promise you, I'm done. No more." I was crying so badly because I was so deliriously happy – that he would give that up for me and our child.
"Shh…baby girl."
Tucker kissed me again, begging me to open my mouth, using his tongue. His tongue stroked mine and I was lost in him. This was the kind of passion that Alex didn't have. Alex couldn't make my body surrender like Tucker could. Tucker's hands roamed all over my hot achy body. I wanted him. It'd been too long.
"Tucker," I cried out and he pulled my shirt up and off my head. I pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders and did the same to his shirt. I traced the lines of his tattoo that wrapped up and down his shoulder. His hands reached around and unclasped my bra, and I bit down into his skin on his shoulder. We were skin to skin and I missed it so much, I was hurting on the inside.
Nothing about this time was going to be slow. We both needed each other. I unbuckled Tucker's jeans as he tried pushing me down to the wood floor. I got his pants around to his knees as he kissed his way down between my breasts, circling his tongue underneath them and down lower to my navel. My hips arched up and he unbuttoned my pants to get rid of my restraining clothing. He kissed my tattoo as he pulled my underwear along with my jeans and then his hot mouth was on me. I cried out in surprised pleasure, tangling my hands in his hair and pulled. My nails dug into his scalp as he kept going. It'd been too long. I loved him. I missed him.
I was going to combust any minute; he didn't stop, just kept going. Then a bright light flashed behind my closed eyelids and I cried out very loudly before my body went limp.
Tucker climbed on top of me and attacked my mouth in need of passion for me. I kissed him back with everything that I had. The taste of myself didn't bother me at all. I took everything Tucker gave me.
"Oh Tucker, I want you. Give it to me…hard." I smiled and he kissed me again.
"Are you ready for me, baby girl?"
I nodded. "We don't even need to use a condom," I joked and he smiled as his body pushed into mine. I cried out at the wonderfulness of him back inside me. I'd missed him and never wanted to let him go. My legs wrapped around his waist like a vice grip. I wasn't going to let him go again.
"I love you, Gabs," he grunted into my skin.
"I love you, Tucker."
The only sound in the room was our skin clashing against our bodies, mixed with our moans around our crazy tongues. We both began to sweat very fast. I found myself begging against his mouth. That wonderful pressure began to build up again; the more I held my breath, the stronger that feeling got. I pulled at his hair as he bit my bottom lip and another flash of light exploded and I was once again lost in him.
Now, here I was two days later, sitting on my couch waiting for Tucker to come back to the apartment, and all I could do was stare at this magazine I was holding. Someone was across the street that day when Alex actually got down on one knee and slid that ring on my finger. Whoever took the picture was behind me. You could see the gray shirt I wore and Alex's smiling face as if he was the happiest man on the planet to be putting a ring on my finger.
The title of the magazine was: Hottest Lawyer and Bachelor, No Longer a Bachelor?.
And when you flipped further into the magazine, there we were again. The same picture was on the front and the side column read:
Hottest Lawyer of New York, no longer a bachelor as Alexander Blair gets down on one knee to propose to Abigail McCall, daughter of David McCall of McCall Firm. David McCall is a Criminal Justice attorney, who hired Alexander Blair right out of Harvard Law. Alexander Blair graduated early and at the top of his class. Insights from David McCall's wife, Carol, who was happy to announce the engagement of the two young love birds. "They are extremely happy to have found each other and they are a perfect match," Carol McCall tells us. They are planning a summer get away in Paris, France as soon as young Ms. Abigail McCall is done with her semester at Juilliard for Ballet.
And then the stupid magazine talked about my dad's firm and taking Alex on as a partner. I wanted nothing more than to tear up this stupid magazine to pieces, but I couldn't – I had to show Tucker first. He was just going to the store and then he was going to come back. Right? I grabbed my cell and dialed Tucker's number. It rang and rang, then finally went to voicemail. What if he saw the magazine and freaked? He could be gone. I panick
ed as I put on my jacket and raced out of the apartment.
The air was a little cold; the sky was cloudy as I made my way to the little store just down the street to where Tucker said he was going to go. I passed a newspaper stand that had that stupid picture up everywhere.
Yep, he definitely saw it if he passed by here.
I made it to the store and started looking around for Tucker or any sign of his gray hoodie. I started going down the aisles and back up again, still not being able to find him. When he wasn't in the store, I started walking back to my apartment. Hearing laughter down one of the alleyways, I turned to see a group of guys all in a circle. My heart sped up when I saw a very familiar gray hoodie standing in the middle.
"This gonna be enough, dude?" one guy said, examining the product in his hand.
Tucker nodded his head. "Yeah, contact Ethan if you want more."
When a gasp left my mouth, Tucker looked up and saw my face. The little store was in between my apartment and my parents' house. Their house was only about a seven minute walk from my apartment, but when you're running, it only took about four.
"Gabs!"
Tucker was chasing me; the last time I ran from him, he didn't, but this time he did. It started to rain lightly at first, but it seemed the harder I ran, the more rain came down.
"Gabs, stop!" Thunder cracked through the sky at the same time he yelled. My hair stuck to my face as I ran across the street, making cabs slam on their brakes and honk at me.
"Gabs, stop!" Tucker was gaining on me. I ran up the five stairs and into the house. The doorman saw me and let me by, knowing who I was. But when Tucker came to the front of the building, the doorman stopped him and then threatened to call the cops if he didn't go away.
"Gabs!" Tucker yelled.
I skipped up the stairs and into the foyer of the living room, past the kitchen, up another flight of stairs and into my old room. I slammed the door and made it just in time to my old tainted toilet and threw up.
"Abigail?" My dad's voice called out to me and I ignored him. I rested my head on the cold porcelain and heard my bedroom door open and then footsteps enter my bathroom.
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