All the Light There Is

by Anise Eden

  “Yes, go ahead,” Dr. Abera said.

  Vani paused for a moment, then continued, “I see something concerning—a blockage around your lungs. I want to say you’re having trouble breathing, but the problem is in its early stages yet, and it can be managed. But I also sense some stubbornness around the blockage, as though you are reluctant to seek treatment. There is fear—fear that it won’t get better. But it will. You just need to see a doctor.”

  We heard Dr. Abera mumble something. Kai said, “Can you validate what Vani said, Dr. Abera?”

  “Yes, she’s right,” Dr. Abera reluctantly admitted. “I was diagnosed with refractory asthma, but I’ve been putting off my follow-up appointment. You know how it is; after a certain age, every time you go to the doctor, it’s just more bad news.”

  “Well, time to stop procrastinating,” Kai said. “Thank you for validating that. Anyone else?”

  “I’m blocking out the research team as we agreed,” Asa said, “but Dr. Singh, something you’re thinking is transmitting so loudly, I can almost hear it without even trying. Is it okay if I read that thought?”

  “By all means, share,” Dr. Singh said.

  Asa nodded. “The thought is, ‘I’m so thirsty.’”

  Dr. Singh chuckled. “Remarkable that you picked that up, Asa. That’s absolutely right. A medication I’m taking causes dry mouth. It’s quite distracting at times.”

  Kai said, “Then by all means! Pete, would you be so kind as to get Dr. Singh some water?”

  “I’m on it,” Pete drawled, and we heard his boots clomp towards the water cooler.

  “Much appreciated,” Dr. Singh said.

  “Eve,” Kai asked, “anything on your end?”

  There was a pause before Eve replied, “Nothing—which isn’t surprising, right? I mean, I’m not really doing my thing, here, I’m just supporting everyone as part of the double kheir.”

  “No, not surprising at all,” Kai reassured. “I just thought I’d check in.”

  Dr. MacGregor explained to the other researchers, “Eve can only access her precog abilities and look into the future when she’s in a trance.” There were murmurs of understanding.

  Kai continued, “Okay, let’s see what our newest member has for us. Cate?”

  “Um…” I bit my lip. “What am I supposed to do again?”

  “Don’t force it,” Kai said. “Just turn inward, tap into your empath gift, and see what comes up, if anything.”

  “Okay.” As I turned my attention inward, I saw in my mind’s eye the ever-present, tiny filaments of light rooted in my heart. They extended in all directions, connecting me to the people I cared about and allowing me to feel their emotions, no matter how far away they were. In my first week of training, I’d learned that those filaments were called portals, and that being able to open portals to other people was one of my paranormal abilities. But now, as my focus on my heart intensified, instead of discovering any new insights, I was overwhelmed by one thing, and one thing only.

  “Um, Kai, I’m not sure I can contribute anything useful.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s a little embarrassing.” I sighed. “All I can sense are the feelings Ben and I have for each other. They’re kind of pushing everything else out.”

  “Nothing wrong with that,” Kai said cheerfully.

  Dr. Singh chimed in, “Maybe that’s your signal that it’s time to bring Ben into the circle.”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” Vani said.

  “Let’s do it then!” We all opened our eyes.

  “Wait!” Dr. MacGregor stood up. “Why don’t we try it with Pete first?”

  Pete peered out from under his hat. “What for?”

  “Yes, I’m not following,” Dr. Byrne said.

  “Like Ben, Pete is an integral member of the group,” Dr. MacGregor explained, “and he, too, is in a relationship with one of the sensitives.”

  Kai smiled and waved.

  “Oh, well—an excellent suggestion, in that case,” Dr. Singh said. “That will help us determine whether or not the palm phenomenon is specific to Ben.”

  “Interesting.” Dr. Abera eyed Pete. “Would you be willing to give it a try?”

  The look on Pete’s face indicated he was quite reluctant, but Ben appeared pleased with the idea. He turned to us. “Are you all okay with trying Pete out? And do you promise not to bite?”

  We called out our encouragement, and Kai and Vani made a space for Pete in the circle.

  Pete tried to conceal how awkward he felt as he sat down. We all joined hands again. “Okay,” Kai said, “now we’re going to repeat the exact same ritual. Close your eyes, everyone, and concentrate on listening to your gifts. If you feel moved to share, just jump in.”

  We all did as instructed. There was a period of silence. Then—nothing. I sensed no change at all in the room’s energy, or within myself. I opened one eye and looked around. One by one, the rest of the group opened their eyes, as well.

  “So?” Vani asked. “Did anyone notice anything?”

  We all shrugged and shook our heads.

  “No offense, Pete,” Asa said with a grin, “but I think you’re a dud.”

  Pete chuckled as he pushed himself up off the ground. “Nobody’s happier to hear that than me. I’m not cut out for mumbo jumbo.”

  Kai smacked him playfully on the leg as he walked away from the circle. “I’ll show you mumbo jumbo. Get over here, Big Dog.”

  Ben patted Pete sympathetically on the shoulder, then took his place in the circle, flashing me a quick smile.

  “Don’t distract her,” Kai scolded. “Okay, everyone. One more time.”

  We closed our eyes and began to refocus. Gradually, I felt the air around me begin to vibrate—just as it had during our ritual the previous week. Once again, it felt like the molecules in my body and those in the room were drums beating together in a single pulse.

  “Oh, wow,” Asa said. “Does anybody else feel that?”

  There was agreement around the circle.

  “I’m not sure, but I’m think I’m seeing something,” Vani said.

  “What is it?” Kai asked.

  “It’s—I think—it’s like I can see the auras of people elsewhere in the building, even some people outside,” she said. “When I shift my focus into a certain direction, I can see all of the auras of the people there, see through the walls, floors, everything.”

  “Fascinating,” Dr. Singh said. “Can you narrow your focus and tell us about a specific person? Maybe—” he consulted with the others briefly—“can you see a woman behind the desk at the main entrance? On the first floor. You didn’t come in that way, but it’s a large lobby, and she’s usually the only one there.”

  There was another pause. Then Vani said excitedly, “I see her! Oh!” Her voice softened. “Her aura is heavy with grief. She’s barely holding it together. She lost someone recently—her husband, maybe?”

  “That’s right!” Dr. Singh exclaimed. “That’s Judy. She’s been here for twenty-five years, and she was recently widowed.”

  “Oh my goodness,” Vani said, awestruck. “There are so many…I’ve never experienced anything like this.”

  “It’s crazy over here, too,” Asa said. “I can hear dozens of thoughts transmitting from all over the building, even from outside. It’s like a whole lot of radios turned on at once. But if I focus on one stream of thought, the others fade away so I can hear it more clearly—and my head doesn’t hurt!” he declared, victorious. “Usually I get a migraine from listening to just one person’s thoughts.”

  “Can you give us an example, Asa?” Dr. MacGregor asked. “Try reading me.”

  “Um—are you sure?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Okay. I only ask because you’re thinking something personal—that Ben and Cate seem to fit together well, and that they could be really good for each other.”

  Fortunately, Dr. MacGregor laughed. “You’re right—that though
t did flit through my mind. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable, Cate, Benjamin.”

  “Not at all,” Ben said.

  I forced myself to smile, even though I could feel a deep blush heating up my cheeks. “Yes, it’s fine.”

  “Wait your turn!” Kai said. “Not you all, the spirits. The top of my head has become like the door to a waiting room, and all of these people who have passed on are standing around in there, trying to tell me things. One at a time! Sheesh!” I opened my eyes and looked over at Kai, who had tilted his head back and was talking to the ceiling. “Usually one or two spirits come through at the most, and their speech is kind of muddled, but this time, I hear them loud and clear and they’re all clamoring to get a word in. I’m sorry; I can’t get to you all today. Choose a representative. One person. Okay.” Kai cleared his throat. “Dr. Singh, your father is here. May I have your permission to speak with him?”

  “Oh my!” Dr. Singh sounded awestruck. “Yes, you may speak with him.”

  “He’s insisting—very loudly, by the way—that you wear the gray suit to your sister’s wedding.”

  Dr. Singh guffawed. “Hah! He would say that; it was the suit he wore to his wedding!” His voice softened with emotion. “Thank you, Kai. I’m touched that he came through, and I will take his wishes under consideration.”

  “He says he’s glad to hear that,” Kai said. “Whoa. Okay, spirits, that’s all I can do for today. We have to move on. Cate, Eve, tell us about you. What are you experiencing?”

  “You go first, Cate,” Eve said. “I think I’m getting something, but I can’t make it out yet.”

  “Okay.” I closed my eyes again, but this time, I was only able to focus on my own interior for a split second before I was propelled outside of myself. “I can see the filaments of light shooting outward from my heart, connecting me to every other heart in the building—like I’ve formed portals to all of them. But all of their hearts are connected to one another’s, too, with the same light filaments. Now they’re spreading—oh!” I gasped as my visual perspective zoomed outward at high speed. “The filaments are shooting out like vines, connecting everyone in the city. It looks like a web, now, spreading across the globe and pulsating with light.”

  “Fascinating,” Dr. MacGregor said. “What do you make of it? Just intuitively, your first thought.”

  I opened up my empathic senses and tried to hold the vision in my mind. “The filaments look like portals that already exist, linking all of our hearts together. Perhaps empaths don’t open or create portals, after all; we’re just better at accessing them.”

  The researchers spoke softly but excitedly amongst themselves. Then Eve broke in.

  “I see something, too,” she whispered, her voice a rough whisper. “I’m not in a trance or anything, so this is weird for me. But I see a light originating at Ben’s heart chakra. It’s bright and warm, like the sun, and it’s beaming out to the five of us, to our heart chakras, carrying some kind of energy—like a battery charging us. Ben,” she asked, “are you feeling this?”

  “I feel nothing out of the ordinary,” he said.

  “But the light—it’s so beautiful,” Eve said, her voice softening to a whisper.

  “Okay,” Kai said gently, “The spirits are pulling their energy away. That’s our sign that we’ve done all we were meant to do for today. Thank you, everyone.” We all released hands. I felt the vibrations stop abruptly, and the web of light disappeared. Eve collapsed to the floor—smiling, but with tears wetting her cheeks. We gathered around her, offering our support. After several minutes, she was able to stand.

  The researchers invited us back to the first conference room to debrief. They’d had lunch brought in, so we had a few minutes to recover as we put our plates together and took our seats around the table.

  Dr. Morgan cleared her throat, and the room fell silent. “I want to thank you all again for being here today, and for giving us that very impressive demonstration.” Smiles were exchanged around the table. “Would anyone like to share their thoughts?”

  “I was most intrigued by what you said, Eve, about the energy from Ben charging the group like a battery,” Dr. Singh said.

  “Yes, that’s how it felt,” Eve replied.

  “That fits in with the theory that the palm activates the double kheir somehow.” Dr. Singh examined Ben closely. “And you didn’t feel anything at all that was unusual?”

  Ben shook his head. “No, nothing.”

  “Well, I am a precog,” Eve pointed out. “Maybe he’s not charging us yet, but will in the future.”

  “That could be it,” Dr. Abera said. “The control experiment with Pete certainly seems to indicate that there is something unique about you, Ben—something that makes you the key to this particular lock. But we’re here to discover how the double kheir works, not to dictate it. This phenomenon has been around since the Bronze Age; it would be quite arrogant of us to superimpose our own expectations upon it. I am impressed with what we saw today, but I must say it raises more questions than it answers.”

  The other researchers murmured their agreement.

  “I hope all of you won’t mind coming back for more meetings like this,” Dr. Morgan said. “You’re unique in the world, as far as we know—the only ones who appear to have made the double kheir work the way it is meant to. I believe we can learn a tremendous amount from you.”

  Ben glanced around at our group members, all of whom nodded. “You can count on our cooperation, Dr. Morgan,” he said. “It’s an honor to be a part of your research.”

  “Well, I’m glad that’s settled,” Dr. MacGregor said. “Now let’s finish up lunch. I know you all have places to be.”

  And since none of us ever argued with Dr. MacGregor, we all dutifully began to eat—including Ben, I was pleased to see. I knew he was still battling his childhood phobia of eating in front of other people, but if he was feeling nervous, he kept it under wraps. In my first week of training, he had let me try to help him using my empath healing abilities and some other therapeutic techniques. He’d improved steadily since then, but this was the first time I’d seen him break bread in front of such a large group of strangers. I tried not to let on that I was watching him, gauging his anxiety levels.

  He picked up on it anyway. Leaning in close, he murmured, “Don’t worry, doc. I’m doing fine—thanks to you.”

  “I can see that,” I murmured back, resting my hand on his arm. “And don’t you dare let go of my knee.”

  He chuckled and began gently massaging my knee. “Is this a new therapy technique? Making me eat with one hand?”

  “Yes,” I said with fake gravitas. “It’s brand new, cutting edge.”

  “In that you just made it up.”

  I grinned. “Okay, you can have your hand back. For now.”

  “No, that’s okay,” he said, sliding his fingers a little farther up my leg. “I like a challenge.”

  And with that, my ability to form coherent thoughts flew away like a cloud of starlings. Thank God the meeting is over, I thought, my skin warming beneath Ben’s stirring touch.

  Chapter Four

  After we left, our group hung out in the elevator lobby for a few minutes, talking in general terms about how well the meeting had gone. No one seemed quite ready to have a serious conversation about what had happened during the demonstration. It had been powerful and a bit shocking; my guess was that we all needed time to process. However, that didn’t stop everyone from giving Ben a good-natured ribbing about his apparently secret power as a double kheir human battery pack. Superhero nicknames were bandied about; eventually, “The Energizer Benny” came out on top. Ben took the teasing with good grace.

  Certainly, the whole experience had been overwhelming for me—starting with reliving my paralysis episode. I was eager to get back on the road with Ben and forget about everything for a while. Fortunately, he picked up on my impatience, and we said our goodbyes.

  This time, Ben put the top down on the J
ag. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the air currents playing with my hair as he drove. The wind had blown my scarf off when we hit the highway, but my leather jacket was doing a pretty good job of keeping me warm. Still, I knew I’d look a little ragged by the time we got to the Eastern Shore, with my wavy brown hair being torn bit by bit out of its braid.

  I took the opportunity to text my best friend, Simone. We had met while working together at Dr. Nelson’s clinic, where she was my clinical supervisor. She had been there for me through my mother’s suicide and the aftermath, so she had a tendency to worry about me. I let her know that Ben and I were going away for a few days—again. She was happy for me, but disappointed that she would have to wait even longer to hear all about Ben. Then she freaked out when I told her that we were going to see my mother’s cousin, Ardis, sure that something really serious must be going on between Ben and me if I was getting family involved. But I managed to convince her that it was just a coincidence—we were going to be in the same place at the same time—and that I didn’t have anything to announce. She made me take a selfie to prove that I was alive and well and hadn’t been kidnapped. I sent her a picture of Ben in the driver’s seat, too. She conceded that he didn’t look like a serial killer, texted me the smiley face with heart eyes emoji, and told me to do everything that she wouldn’t do. I smiled to myself, relishing the idea of filling her in on my romance with Ben over a long meal when we got back.

  An hour later, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge stretched out before us. I closed my eyes and tried to let the clu-clunk, clu-clunk sound of the metal seams beneath the tires lull me into a meditative state until we reached Kent Island.

  Whatever tension we’d been feeling drained away as we headed east. The strip malls gave way to harvested cornfields and abandoned vegetable stands. Every gas station advertised “Live Bait,” and we began to see more pickup trucks and bumper stickers declaring, “There’s No Life West of the Chesapeake Bay.” The flatness of the landscape meant the horizon was miles away. I found it a soothing change from the more constricted visual spaces of city living; from the look on Ben’s face, he felt the same.