by Sarah Markel
Taking a few moments to kick herself for her behavior, Alex went down to join the others. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she looked around at the mess in the entry way. Boxes were stacked everywhere, and she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t noticed them before. Making her way into the kitchen, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the island next to her mother. “Where did the boxes in the foyer come from?” she asked. Patting her daughter on the knee, Andrea stood. “The same person you have been ignoring all morning.” the woman said plainly before heading into the den. Humiliated that she had been so self-absorbed, Alex put her coffee cup in the sink and sighed as she went in to join the others. Slipping quietly into the den, Alex made her way over to Kelly. Gently brushing her fingertips over her fiancée’s shoulder blade, Alex asked to speak with her in private. Saying nothing, Kelly shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the den ahead of Alex. “Mama, we’ll be back in a few. We’ll be upstairs if you all finish before we get back.” She said to her mother. With a knowing smile, Andrea nodded to her daughter and went back to helping the others carry the boxes of finished supplies out to the van.
*****
When she found Kelly standing in the living room, watching the others from the window, Alex cleared her throat. Fuck! She thought to herself when she saw the closed off look on Kelly’s face. Before Alex could speak, Kelly held up her hand. “Not down here. I don’t want the kids to hear anything.” she said scathingly as she headed for the stairs. Feeling more ashamed of herself than before for putting Kelly in that kind of mood, Alex took a deep breath and followed. When she reached their room, Alex was caught off guard when Kelly waited for her to enter and slammed the door behind her. Whirling on Alex with a look of outrage on her face, Kelly demanded loudly “What the hell is wrong with you, Alex? You left me alone outside and have been ignoring me and making a point to leave the room when I come in. What in the hell did I do now?” A little panicked by Kelly’s anger, Alex hung her head and apologized. “You’re sorry?” Kelly yelled, making Alex cringe. “That’s your answer? I’m sorry? Well Alex, sorry doesn’t explain anything.” Standing a few feet away, Kelly put her hands on her hips and waited for Alex to say something. When the woman just stared at the floor, Kelly sighed with disgust and started for the door. Afraid that she would leave again and not come back, Alex grabbed the woman by the arm. Spinning her around and pinning her against the wall with a searing kiss, Alex hoped to distract Kelly from her anger. “No, you don’t get to do that.” Kelly spat through gritted teeth as she pushed Alex away. “Kelly wait. I’ll explain, just please don’t leave.” she said quickly as the other woman headed for the door once more. Filled with anger and fed up with Alex’s behavior, Kelly once more whirled to face her. “You’ve got two minutes. If you don’t have a damn good fucking reason for the way you are acting, I am leaving. For good this time.” She said, her voice dripping with anger. Taking a deep breath, Alex fought the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake her at the thought of Kelly leaving her forever. Steadying herself, Alex stood between Kelly and the door.
“I was angry.” She began, watching Kelly carefully. When the woman rolled her eyes, Alex hurriedly explained. “I haven’t actually been reading my email lately, and I didn’t know that the City denied the permits for the center. When you offered to let your friends live in your house, I got angry because I felt we should have discussed it together first. I was stupid and selfishly thought that you had broken your promise about making decisions together. Hank slapped me and told me to stop being a selfish prick.” Chuckling, Alex hoped that Kelly would see the humor in it. When she realized that only she had found it funny, she went on. “Baby, I’m sorry for how I acted. To be perfectly honest, I was a little jealous too.” When Kelly narrowed her eyes and scoffed, Alex put up her hands. “Hear me out before you get mad. When I saw you throw yourself into the arms of a beautiful blond woman this morning, and how excited you were to see her, all logical thought left my brain. I saw how happy you were to see her, and I thought she was an ex. The sight of another woman holding you, one I thought you might have dated, made my heart beat a million times a minute. I made myself be nice, even though I wanted to throw her out the door, until you said she was married to a man. After that, I was fine, until you offered her the house that I stupidly thought was still going to be used as the center. I am so sorry, Baby. I don’t know what else to say, except please forgive me. It kills me to know that I put that look on your face, and that my behavior could have ruined what we have.” She finished tearfully, dropping down to her knees and taking Kelly’s hands in her own.
Looking up into the eyes of the woman she loved, Alex willed Kelly to understand and forgive her. After several moments of silence, Kelly pulled away and went to the window. Taking a few calming breaths, she turned around and faced Alex. “Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?” she asked. Confused by the question, Alex stood and stuffed her hands into the pocket of her jeans. “Of course not.” she answered quietly. “Then what in the hell makes you think that I would have hugged her or been happy to see her if she had been an ex.?” Looking up with shame, Alex shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t have a good answer for that one.” she said, embarrassment making her voice meek. “You know Alex, when I saw Jessie McGowan throw herself at you on Halloween, I was jealous as hell. I thought she was an ex of yours. But did I act like an asshole all night? No, I stayed right beside you. Jealousy doesn’t have to turn you into a jerk. If you get jealous of someone, tell me. I love you Alex. More than I have ever loved anyone before, and I would never give you any reason to distrust me around other women. I’m not saying you can’t be jealous, but you need to work on how you deal with it. We both know that it can drive people to do unthinkable things.” Kelly finished sadly. Realizing the truth in Kelly’s words, Alex dropped down on the bed and covered her face with her hands as she cried. Oh my God, she’s right! Lilly took her jealousy out on us and almost killed Zane. Callie was killed by jealousy, and here I am, letting it get the better of me. I’m such an idiot! Alex thought to herself as the tears of shame flowed freely. Satisfied that she had made her point, and angry at herself for her choice of example, Kelly walked to Alex and got down on her knees. Gently pulling Alex’s hands away from her face, she looked into her lover’s tear filled eyes. Cupping Alex’s face, she pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. “I love you.” she said, pulling Alex into her arms.
CHAPTER 21
“Holy cow, I’m exhausted!” Kelly sighed a few days later, leaning against the kitchen island and dropping her head into her hands. Chuckling as she set the armful of shopping bags on the table, Alex shook her head. “I warned you. Grocery shopping with Angie and Steve is dangerous. We could have been killed.” Angie had called early that morning to see if the couple wanted to go grocery shopping together. Kelly had readily agreed, but Alex had tried to get out of the trip. “It’s a trap, babe. When they go shopping, they take all of the kids with them. Have you ever seen how children act in a store?” she had asked. Despite the warning, Kelly had insisted that they needed food too. When they had arrived at the grocery store, even Zane had been hesitant. “Mom, are you sure about this?” he asked Kelly. Waving off the boy’s concerns, she happily greeted Steve and Angie. Shaking their heads, Alex and Zane exchanged knowing glances and followed the group into the store.
Inside, things had started off great. The adults had decided to go down each isle, instead of going down their lists, to help minimize the chances of the kids wandering off. Halfway down the second isle, full of crackers and cookies, the fun had started. “Mommy, look! They have Happy Panda cookies! Can we get some?” Anya asked, holding up a black and white package of chocolate covered white chocolate cookies. “No, sweetheart, not today. We have plenty of cookies at home.” her mother replied. As if by magic, the sweet and well-mannered six year old had transformed into the loud, spoiled spawn of Satan. Scrunching up her pretty little face, the child let out a scream an
d proceeded to throw herself on the ground in a full blown temper tantrum. “I want the Panda cookies! We don’t have any of those!” she wailed. “And so it begins.” Zane muttered under his breath. Slightly unsure of what to do, Kelly looked from the child to her parents. Really? Over cookies? She thought to herself. After several minutes of bargaining and implied threats from her parents, Anya calmed down and put the cookies back on the shelf. As the group moved on down the aisle, Alex whispered to Kelly. “That was nothing. Wait until the boys get bored.” Shrugging her shoulders, Kelly just smiled at the woman. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” She said, waiting for Zane and Dej to pick out their snack crackers. Famous last words! Alex thought to herself with a smirk.
*****
Three hours, several tantrums, two lost boys, and countless swear words later, Alex pulled the SUV into their driveway. “I warned you, babe! I tried to tell you it was a bad idea, but you wanted to go.” she said, laughing at Kelly’s irritation with the day’s events. “Seriously! How do Steve and Angie do that every week?” she asked, looking at Alex with sincerity. Amused, Alex unlocked the front door so the group could carry their bags inside. After setting their purchases on the table, Alex wrapped her arms around Kelly’s waist and placed a kiss on her nose. “I can’t say for sure, but I think they might be masochists.” she said, chuckling when Kelly playfully smacked her shoulder. “Honestly babe, I don’t know how or why they do it. I just know that Angie thinks if she doesn’t take them at all, they won’t ever learn how to behave in the store. I told her to leave them home the next time they act up, and they will learn that they were wrong, but she doesn’t think it will work.” After putting away the groceries, Alex pulled Kelly away from the island and held her close. Rubbing her hand up and down the other woman’s back, Alex playfully asked, “I was thinking, babe. Maybe next week we could offer to take the kids shopping at the mall…” Alex stopped, unable to hold back laughter when she saw the look of abject horror on Kelly’s face. Glaring at her fiancée, Kelly left the room, leaving Alex to laugh at her own wit.
****
“Mom? Can I ask you something?” Zane asked later that evening. After supper, the kids had gone upstairs to relax while Alex and Kelly did the same in the living room. Kelly was laid back on the couch reading a book while Alex gave her a foot massage. “Sure Bubba, have a seat.” Alex said, patting the cushion next to her. Looking down at his hands, the boy rubbed his knees and took a deep breath. “So I, um, I… I need some advice.” he said, looking uncharacteristically nervous. Noticing the child’s hesitation, Kelly offered to leave the room. Shaking his head no, Zane declined. “No, it’s alright. I could use all the advice I can I get.” Pulling her legs up underneath her, Kelly sat up and put down her book. Together, both women looked expectantly at their son. Blowing out a breath, Zane ran his hand through his hair. “Um, well, I was wondering…” he started, staring down at his hands as they rested on his legs. “When you really like someone, but you don’t know how they feel about you, how do you… you know, let them know without scaring them off?” Glancing at his moms out of the corner of his eye, he waited patiently for one of them to speak.
“Well buddy, it depends on the person. If this other person is someone who gets mad or offended easily, it can be tricky. If the person is more laid back and reserved, it might just be better to tell them outright how you feel. Is this person someone that we know?” Alex asked, laying her hand on her sons shoulder. Blushing scarlet, the boy whipped his head up, “No, never mind, I was just curious.” he said, standing quickly and running back upstairs as if he were being chased by a bear. “Well I’ll be damned.” Alex said, turning to look into Kelly’s smiling face. “Our little stud has a crush.” Looking toward the stairs, Kelly wondered out loud “Who do you think it is?” Shrugging her shoulders, Alex turned and laid back on top of Kelly, the reverse of their favorite cuddling position. “Probably Willow Coleman. She’s the only girl he really spends any time with that we know.” she said, trying to get comfortable. Laughing, Kelly pushed against the woman’s back. “Get off, you’re squishing me!” Kelly said breathlessly. “Okay, fine. You be on top.” Alex chuckled as she sat back up, wiggling her eyebrows to emphasize her intent. “I thought you were the top.” Kelly stated as she stood and pulled Alex off the couch. Standing on tip toes, Kelly whispered into Alex’s ear “You’ll have to catch me first.” Alex shivered at the lustful tone in her lover’s voice and just stood staring as the other woman took off at a run up the stairs.
*****
“Hi Lauren, this is Alex,” the woman said into the phone. “Zane was wondering if Colton could stay the night tonight. Dej is staying the night with Angie and he is bored out of his mind.” Leaning back in her office chair, Alex tapped her pen on the stack of papers on her desk. She and Kelly had both decided to go back to work on Friday instead of Monday so they could get a head start on the employee evaluations. Several of the staff were due for raises, and Alex was afraid she might not get through all of the evals before the next pay day. That morning before Angie had picked up Dej, Zane asked his moms if he could stay home alone. After making sure the boy knew exactly what to do in an emergency, and making him demonstrate his answers, Alex and Kelly had agreed and headed for work. By lunch time, Zane had texted Alex a dozen times with complaints of boredom. In his last text, he had asked if she would call Lauren and Judy to see if Colton could stay over. “Sure Alex, Colton would love that. Just give us a call when you all are home and we will bring him by.” Lauren replied. Hesitating for a moment, because she knew that Lauren and Judy were very cautious parents, Alex told her about Zane being home alone and asked if she was alright with sending the boy over now. After a few moments of quiet discussion with Judy, Lauren came back on the line and agreed to send the boy over. Hanging up the phone, Alex went back to work reading the employee evaluations.
At four o’clock, Kelly poked her head into the office. “Honey, are you ready to go?” she asked. Looking up from her desk, Alex smiled. “Absolutely. I’ve been ready since this morning.” she chuckled. Stuffing the files into her bag, Alex quickly joined Kelly at the door and the two left the building. After saying goodnight to the security guard, Alex opened the door for Kelly and the pair headed home. “How far did you get?” Kelly asked, noting how full the file bag was. “Well, I got through the Comfort Care floor, and all of them are getting their raises. That’s the floor that had the most staff up for review. I was a little iffy on Jacelyn Kerry because of the amount of times she went home early, but then I remembered that her husband was in a bad car accident earlier this year and is in a rehab hospital. I called her in and asked how he was doing and she explained that she has been leaving early so she can see him before visiting hours are over. I figured I would go ahead and give it to her, because she has been with us for over five years and has never once been written up or warned.” Alex explained. Nodding in agreement, Kelly laid her hand on Alex’s knee and leaned back against the headrest.
*****
When the pair arrived home, Alex headed into the kitchen to start dinner while Kelly went into the laundry room to finish putting away the morning laundry. After setting Dej’s clothes on her bed, she walked into Zane’s room without knocking on the door. Having forgotten that the boy was home instead of at Angie’s, she stopped suddenly when she noticed the boy immersed in a lip lock with Colton. Holding her breath and backing up slowly, she quietly closed the door, thankful that neither boy had noticed the intrusion. Oh shit! She thought to herself as she stood outside the door. Taking a moment to calm herself down, she quickly set the clothes on the floor outside the door and headed down to the kitchen.
“Wow babe, you look like you just saw a ghost.” Alex remarked when Kelly came in and sat at the island. “No, not a ghost. I did however forget that Zane was home alone today. I walked into his room without knocking, and now I wish I hadn’t.” Confused, Alex set down the knife she had been using to chop vegetables. “Why? What was he doing?” she
asked, a twinge of unease in her voice. “Well… remember when he asked us how to tell someone he likes them?” Kelly asked, fidgeting with her fingers. Nodding slowly, Alex leaned across the island to stop Kelly’s fidgeting. “Just tell me babe.” she said, wondering what Zane could be doing that would make her so nervous. Before Kelly could respond, Alex had a thought. No. He wouldn’t be doing that at this age, would he? She thought to herself. Laughing suddenly at the look on Alex’s face, Kelly realized what the woman must be thinking. “Oh God no, honey. He wasn’t doing that!” she said, feeling herself blush. Hanging her head and sighing with relief, Alex took the woman’s hand. “Just tell me.” she repeated with a chuckle. Quickly, Kelly told her. “I walked in and Zane was glued to Colton’s lips. What’s wrong?” she added when Alex’s face suddenly changed. Without an answer, Alex stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
“Zane Etienne Baxter-Walker, what in the hell are you doing?” Alex yelled as she slammed through the boy’s bedroom door. Startled, Zane stared at his mother with embarrassment. “Mom. What are you doing?” he asked, nervously straightening his shirt. “I gotta go.” Colton said quickly, attempting to make his exit. Standing in front of the boy, Alex crossed her arms and glared at the pair. Easing into the room, Kelly placed her hand gently on the small of Alex’s back. “I want an answer, now!” Alex demanded, folding her arms over her chest. “We were just… we were… we weren’t doing anything wrong!” Zane exclaimed, pulling himself up to his full height. “Of course you weren’t son.” Kelly said, stepping between her fiancée and her son. “Everyone calm down and let’s go down stairs. We can talk about this down there.” she instructed, throwing Alex a glance. Huffing out a breath, Alex turned without another word and left the room. Looking back to the boys, Kelly tried to calm them. “Don’t get angry with your mom, son. She’s just surprised, and you know your mom doesn’t like surprises very much.” she said, laying a hand on each boy’s shoulder. After a few moments of coaxing the boys to go down, she followed behind them, hoping that Alex had had some time to gather herself.