“I really do,” she continued quickly while she still hadn’t lost all her gumption. “I love you so much, and I j-just don’t know how to live without you.”
She swallowed as he stared at her without any reaction whatsoever. She knew she was about to lose him forever. Lose her happiness forever.
She stood and took the few steps necessary to stand directly in front of him. Breathlessly she kneeled, grasping his unmoving hands in hers.
“Do you think it is possible for you to love me back? I would be…” She blinked to get rid of the pain in her eyes. “It would mean everything for me to know if you just loved me a little. So could you? Could you please love me a tiny bit?”
He was silent for so long she almost stood up and left him, but just as she had decided to admit defeat he shook his head slowly. “No, I can’t.”
Her heart broke into thousands of pieces and only old habit made her capable of forcing a smile onto her face. “Well, one can’t ask for everything, I guess.”
But when she tried to move back to get away from him, he clasped her hands with one of his and forced her to stay, sighing deeply as he put his other hand against her cheek. To her surprise, she saw tears in his eyes, and a small flicker of hope started to dance inside her.
“How could I ever be able to love you only a little when you mean everything in the world to me?” His voice broke, and with a faint whimper she threw herself into his waiting arms, hugging him desperately closer to her until she could feel the steady beat of his heart against hers.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice raw with emotion, but she just couldn’t stay silent anymore. She wanted to chant the words to him, to the world, over and over again until she had no voice left.
“I love you too.”
The tenderness in his voice went straight to her heart, and tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t care. Slowly that lump in her throat grew smaller and smaller with every sob, until it disappeared altogether, leaving only a wonderful feeling of peace.
His warm, safe hands caressed her hair, and she sighed in her happiness, amazed at how protected and at home she felt. Nothing scared her anymore. Nothing. She was exactly where she wanted to be, in Sin’s arms.
“I never thought you would love me.”
His quiet admission surprised her, and she leaned back so she could look into his eyes.
“Why?”
“Because you are you and I’m just me. I’m nothing special. In fact, I’m a bit of a bore. But you… You are the Incomparable Queen. The most beautiful woman any of us has ever seen or ever will see.”
“That is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.”
He chuckled as she snorted straight out, and before she had a chance to react he grabbed her waist and hauled her up onto his knee. She gave a sigh of contentment as he put his arms around her again and gave her a peck on the nose.
“You are one disrespectful woman.”
“I am? Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just that I don’t find it so impressive about me being beautiful or the Incomparable Queen.”
“Don’t apologize, my dearest. I don’t mind the disrespectfulness. I must admit I rather like it.”
“I love you, Sin.”
“And I love you, Charmaine.”
“Do you really?”
He nodded. “Yes, I do. I have for the longest of times.”
“You have?” She remembered what her father had said about Sin staring at her, and she frowned slightly. “For how long?”
“For many years.”
“But you never said anything. You never even looked at me, as far as I can remember.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to know how I felt.”
She snorted again. “That’s ludicrous.”
His eyes laughed at her obvious curiosity. “It might be, but I never thought it possible for you to love me back, so I tried to spare my heart from sorrow.”
“But if you had given me a chance…”
“When? You were always surrounded by too many suitors to even notice me. I did ask you to dance now and then, but I don’t think you even noticed it was me you were dancing with. You just stared out into space, moving as if you were a puppet.”
“I was.” And it was the truth. She hadn’t had a chance to think for herself. Her stepfather had sent her dancing with one man after another to make sure he would get the satisfaction of denying them when they came proposing. Denying them in her name.
“I know that now. Only the Lord knows how much I would like to kill that man. I promise you, Charmaine, I have never hated a man so much as I hate your stepfather. It sickens me we let him escape, that we gave him a chance to start over somewhere else.”
She put her hand against his cheek and smiled tenderly toward him. “Don’t let him get to you. Please. I’m so sick and tired of him ruining my life, and now I just want to be happy. With you.”
The kiss he gave her made her whimper with need of him, and he grinned as he heard the faint sound. “Do you know how hard it was for me to leave you every night?”
“Why did you leave me? All I wanted was to be with you.”
He blushed slightly, seeming uncomfortable. “Because I was so close to telling you how much I loved you every time we made love. I just couldn’t keep my hands off you—still can’t, if you notice—and I was so scared you would find out how pathetic I really am when it comes to you, I just couldn’t stay. But I wanted to. Desperately.”
“Don’t ever leave me again.”
His arrogant smile made her warm all over. “Oh, I can promise you that. Don’t you think I will ever let you out of my bed again. We can turn your bedroom into a dressing room. Lord knows you have dresses enough to fill it.”
“I beg your pardon. I don’t have that many dresses.”
“You soon will, I guess. Especially as we are heading to London and the Season soon, where you will shine on my arm and show every last gossip how much you love your husband.”
“Oh I will, will I?” She laughed over his silliness, but deep inside she knew this was important to him. “Well, I guess I couldn’t hide the love I feel for you anyway, so all right. I’ll give the matrons something to talk about.”
His hand played with a blonde strand of hair that had slipped out from her bun, and she waited patiently for him to come out with what it was on his mind.
“I’m not overly fond of the Season,” he finally let out. “I must admit I would rather spend those months at home here at Chester Park than stumbling around in a ballroom.”
“Me too.”
“I know how much you love those assemblies, and for you I will go anyway. I promise you I’ll take you to every last one you want to attend.”
It was quite obvious he hadn’t listened to her, but she didn’t mind. She rather liked the notion of him coming to London with her just to please her. She didn’t like the Season at all. There were too many people, and it was too crowded. But at the same time, she wouldn’t mind going with Sin. Just the thought of being presented as Lady Chilton to all her old acquaintances made her warm all over.
She was so proud of him, and proud that he was her husband. Her man. She wanted the ton to know how much she loved him, and she definitely wanted them to know how much he loved her.
“I guess the Season will be better when I have you with me and can fondle you whenever I am so minded,” he said, his dark eyes burning for her. With a sigh she threw her arms around his neck again and kissed him with all her love.
Slowly he put her down on the floor, and as his hands transformed her into an emotional being she knew she couldn’t be happier than she was at that moment. Somehow all her wishes had come true, and she was happy. She was loved. She loved.
Life couldn’t get any better than this.
Epilogue
September, 1815
Sin,
I bring glorious news to you. The devil is dead. As I’ve told you before, he has been gambling extensively and lost
more than he has to more men than he should. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t pay the wrong men back, and yesterday he was attacked, and killed.
I hope this news gives your lovely wife and her just-as-lovely sister relief. He will never come back to haunt them as he has tried to do ever since we arrived here in June. It was becoming quite difficult to keep him here, and his death has eased my life considerably.
Hereford says you two are expecting a little one, and I can only say it saddens me, as I will probably not be able to get back in time for the blessed event.
After I received the death certificate, I buried Lord Nester here in the colonies and made sure his grave is unmarked, just as you requested.
If all fares well, I’ll see you at Christmas.
Bear.
A word about the author...
Mother of kids.
Writer of romance.
Addict of coffee.
jenniferwenn.com
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The Beauty of You Page 26