Now he was pissed. They’d spent the last several days together, going through the land sites, talking about the pros and cons of each. They’d talked about different options for placing the rooms and he’d loved some of her ideas. But every time he’d kissed her, she’d been able to pull away. He was losing sleep, getting angry at work, and his body was aroused just about non-stop because he couldn’t get her out of his mind.
So yeah, he was furious. All of that pent up sexual frustration was rising up, almost choking him now. “You don’t want me to understand. You won’t allow yourself the freedom to let your fears go. And what’s worse, you won’t explain to me why you’re so afraid of the passion between us!” He was angry now, frustrated and fed up. He wanted to just pull her into his arms and make love to her, show her that there was nothing to fear from their attraction. But she was so skittish. And her tears really were killing him.
Naya had been prepared to rant and yell at him until he understood. But watching him, seeing him glare at her, she came to the only conclusion possible.
“I give up,” she told him, standing very still. “I give up. We can have an affair.” She held up her hand to stop him when he took a step towards her. “But we have to have rules.”
Rules? What the hell? “What kinds of rules?” he demanded. But then her words hit him and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Damn, she was giving in? She was going to let them enjoy this attraction they were both feeling? Hell yes!
Feeling his body relax slightly, he turned to face her more fully. She was willing to give in to him. She was going to be in his bed, and he was going to make it so perfect, she wouldn’t be afraid any longer.
Naya sensed as well as observed the change in his body language and she felt that tension coil more tightly. She knew she’d have to speak quickly, to finally get out what she’d been planning to say. Because the moment he touched her, she would be lost. Completely lost!
“Yes. We’re going to establish rules. And before we do anything further, you’re going to promise me, swear to me, that you won’t violate any of these rules.”
Luke stared down at her, not liking where this conversation was going. “What kinds of rules?” he demanded.
Naya started pacing again. She’d come up with a list of rules last night while staring at her ceiling, unable to sleep. Again. “No dating.”
What the hell did that mean? What did she think they’d been doing for the past week?! “Excuse me?”
She nodded her head emphatically. “Yes. No dating. This is an affair. This will be about sex. No romantic dates. No going out to dinner. We’re just going to work this sexual thing out of our systems. When it burns out, neither of us will be sad because it will have just been an itch that we scratch.”
Luke looked at her eyes and knew something didn’t sound right. The trembling in her lower lip told him that something was seriously off. That trembling, plus the fear in her eyes, gentled his anger. It was still there, but he couldn’t stand the fear. “Is that really what you want, Naya?” he asked softly, feeling her pain and confusion.
She hesitated but eventually nodded her head. “Yes. That’s what I want.”
He didn’t like it, but he was at the end of his rope. He needed her and it was now painful. “Okay. Fine. No dating. We’ll just meet for sex.” Like hell, he thought, that anger flaring up again. No dating! What the hell?! But maybe if she’d relax around him more, he could understand this stipulation.
Her eyes widened a fraction then she nodded. “Good. Fine. No dating.”
“What else?” he demanded.
She paced again. Once around the room. Twice. “No one can know about our relationship. It has to be kept a secret.”
He didn’t like that at all! “Why the hell not?”
She wiped away at another tear. “Because I don’t want to be another name that the gossips chitchat about, Luke. There have been so many women in your bed. I’d be just another name. Another face that the people in our industry wager on how long it will take for you to grow bored with me and move on to the next woman.”
His heart hurt with her words. “And you think that I’ll grow bored?”
She nodded emphatically, even as another tear slipped down her cheek. “It will happen. I’m nothing special. You’ll grow bored and I’ll still need the respect of my peers. So, our relationship must remain confidential. If anyone asks, we barely know each other.”
No way! Oh hell no! He knew with absolute certainty that he wouldn’t grow bored with Naya. Never! Not if he were to stay in bed with her for weeks. Months. Years! He found her fascinating.
She drove him crazy, she made his body ache, and she continuously charmed him with her energy and kindness. Naya would never bore him.
But he would agree if it would help her. He’d agree for now, he corrected silently.
“Fine. What else.” He wanted these rules laid out so that he could take her into his arms and hold her. Yes, he wanted to make love to her, but he wanted more to make her smile. He wanted to hear her laugh and see that beautiful twinkle in her eye. He wanted to do anything to stop her tears. It was killing him!
Naya walked back and forth over his thick carpeting, her mind absently noting the soothing décor, the neutral palette that was broken by pops of color. Someone had done a great job of decorating his condo. Probably Gaia, she thought. Goodness, the woman was talented.
Focus! Naya berated herself because she was so nervous. “No kissing.”
There was silence for a long moment before she heard, “No.”
She stopped and looked over at him. “No? Why…?” She’d thought he would agree to her terms! Why was he backing out now?
He moved closer, his eyes heated, but with anger, not passion. “Because one of my greatest pleasures is kissing you, Naya. That’s not off the table. I won’t allow it. What else?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.
She had to be strong. She’d come up with all of these rules last night and knew that she had to make them non-negotiable. Her chin went up, her arms crossed and she glared right back at him. “No kissing. It’s too personal,” she stated firmly, mimicking his stance.
He laughed, an angry sound, and shook his head. “Honey, we’re going to kiss. And if you think that’s too personal, then your mind is going to be blown away by all of the other things I’m going to do to your body. I guarantee that kissing will not be considered personal after I’m finished with you the first time we make love.”
Naya’s mouth fell open with that statement but she wasn’t sure what to say. What could he…flashes of ideas passed through her mind. Him doing…things…touching her, his hands, his fingers, his lips….everywhere!
Maybe kissing wasn’t such a bad thing after all. She was pretty sure that the “other things” he would do to her were exactly what she wanted. But she didn’t want to delve too deeply into the details for fear of running away from him again.
Running away definitely hadn’t worked so far. She was going with Plan B. Rules! Yes, the rules would help her survive an affair with Luke. It was the only way she could survive. Rules. Those rules were…
What rules? She’d had so many this morning when she’d first worked this out in her mind. What were those rules again?!
She pulled her eyes away from him, looking at his condo and then something else occurred to her. “All the sex happens here.”
He smiled slightly, liking that idea already. He suspected that he had a bigger bed. Her house was cute, and suited her perfectly, but he didn’t think the bedrooms were big enough to hold a king sized bed. His did! “I’ll agree to that. But what happens if I’m over at your place and…things get out of hand?”
She shook her head, her red curls bobbing around her chin. “No. That can’t happen. All sex, anything that might ‘get out of hand’ has to happen here.” She couldn’t handle the memories if he made love to her in her bed. She loved her tiny little cottage. Already she had trouble moving
around the kitchen and living room now that she’d seen him in that space. She couldn’t imagine the heartache she would have to endure when this was all over and she would need a place that wasn’t tainted by beautiful memories of being in his arms.
He watched her carefully, not sure why she was so adamant about this stipulation. But he could agree to that. “Fine. I make love to you here.”
“Sex,” she whispered. “We’ll have sex. We aren’t making love.”
He felt like she’d just kicked him in the gut with those words. After every kiss, every touch they’d ever shared, he’d felt it right into his soul. He suspected that she had as well, but was too afraid to admit it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t going to let her hide from that any longer. “I can’t agree to that.”
She stared up at him, not sure if she could handle Luke when he was making love. Sex? Yeah, she needed that. Making love? No. Absolutely not.
As he looked at her, he understood how hard this was for her, and he backed down. Not on the no kissing or no making love issue, but on his anger. She was trembling and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and show her that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he focused on hearing all of her damn rules. Get them out of the way, he told himself, so that he could make love to her. “What else?”
She took a deep breath. “We aren’t dating.”
“You’ve already said that.”
She blinked and looked down at the floor, wary about her next requirement. “Yes, but that leads me to the next rule. If anyone asks, we’re merely acquaintances, don’t really know each other very well.”
“You’ve said that one too. Why the hell would we have to pretend that we don’t know each other?”
She stiffened her resolve in the face of his outrage. “Same reason we can’t date. No dates, no dinners out, no acknowledgement of any sort of relationship between us.”
This was becoming ridiculous! “Just sex,” he spat out.
Naya hesitated. It was one thing when she said those words, it felt really horrible when he said them back to her. And she didn’t understand why.
But they were her rules. She couldn’t exactly disagree with them now. “Right. Just sex.”
“How often does this ‘just sex’ happen?” he demanded.
That was a good question. Unfortunately, she didn’t have an answer for him. “Friday nights only,” she blurted out, thinking one night a week would more than satisfy her. She could handle one night a week.
“No.”
Naya blinked and narrowed her eyes. “No?”
He shook his head. “No. Not one night a week only.” Not going to happen, beautiful, he thought silently. Hell, he wanted her every day of the week. And every morning. And all day long. “Every other night.”
She shook her head. “No. I have too many evening obligations. I can’t do every other night.”
She had a point there. He thought quickly, trying to figure out an alternative. “Fine. What nights do you have activities now?”
She rubbed her forehead. Naya knew that she was in way over her head but she wasn’t sure how to swim back to shore. Or even where the shore was any longer. “I don’t have a set schedule. My clients normally can’t take off work to view homes so I show them in the evenings.”
He clenched his teeth. “Fine. Are there any nights when you generally don’t have clients?”
“Mondays and Tuesdays. The new houses go online Wednesday morning, so some call that day and ask to see a particular house.”
“I get Mondays and Tuesdays then.” He lifted a hand to stop her from arguing. “Unless a client calls and asks to see a house. I promise I won’t interfere with your career, Naya. What other nights?”
She thought about her schedule, her routines. Shrugging, she looked down at her hands. “Isn’t Mondays and Tuesdays enough?”
He watched her, wondering what was going through her mind. Two nights a week? No way. Not enough. “How about Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays?”
He knew she was holding her breath as she thought about that suggestion. “Four nights a week?”
“Yes.”
She licked her lips again, stunned at the idea of spending four out of seven nights with Luke. “Four nights?”
He moved closer. “If you can handle it. I won’t make you come here if you’re not in the mood for…sex.” He almost spat out that last word. He hated this! He wanted to pull her into his arms and demand to know why she was pulling this crap! It was ridiculous! What happened to spontaneity? What happened to just wanting to be with someone because they enjoyed each other’s company? What happened to sitting on a couch, watching a movie or spending a relaxing Sunday afternoon reading, just sitting next to a woman?
No, he’d never wanted that with the other women he’d dated in the past, but Naya…she was different! Damn it, he wanted those movie nights! He wanted Sunday afternoons!
Slow down, he told himself. “Four nights. If you don’t want to come over, just call me and tell me no.”
She thought about that for a moment and nodded. “Fine. But what are the gossip columnists going to say when you stop hitting all of the social happenings and charity events that happen on Friday and Saturday nights?”
He shrugged his shoulder, completely unconcerned with what others might think. “I don’t give a damn what they think. Let them make their own assumptions.”
Naya didn’t like the sound of that. “No. You have to date other women,” she said, choking on the words. “You have to be seen around town with someone else.”
“No.” He wasn’t doing that. “I won’t do that to another woman.”
She sighed and rubbed her fingers, realizing what she was proposing and knowing it wasn’t ethical. “You’re right. That wouldn’t be kind.”
He wanted to roar with fury but pulled back. “We wouldn’t want to be unkind, would we?”
She looked up at him, realized that he was angry. “I’m sorry about this, Luke. I wish I could be more…”
“Open? Forgiving? Free with your emotions?”
She jerked with those words. “Forgiving? Who do I need to forgive?”
He moved closer, taking her hands that were now red from her fingers rubbing together in her nervousness. “I have no idea who you need to forgive,” he admitted, but he knew that he’d hit the nail on the head with that assumption. “You won’t talk to me. You won’t tell me what has happened in your past that you’re so angry with. But someone hurt you. Someone made you not trust relationships. So, only you can figure out who you need to forgive. But until that happens, you can’t move on. We’ll be stuck here in this limbo of sex four nights a week.”
Naya almost broke down with his gentle words. They weren’t true! She had no one to forgive! Her parents had had a horrible marriage and a devastating divorce, but she should thank them for showing her how marriage really was. So many people got divorced! More than half of the marriages ended in divorce and she was just protecting herself from the heartache that would inevitably happen.
She lifted her chin and glared up at him. “I don’t have anyone to forgive. If you think that, then go ahead. I can’t stop you.” She wiped her cheek. “We’re finished here.”
He sighed, wishing she would climb over that wall she’d built around herself. Or give him a door to walk through. “But it’s Monday night. So you’re coming back, right?”
She hesitated. When she’d stipulated the rules, she hadn’t realized that today was Monday. But he was right. “We’ll start next week,” she told him, pulling herself together. She was ashamed that she’d broken down and come to him. She should have been stronger.
But the deal was made. She could get through this, work him out of her system. And then she’d get her nice, orderly life back. She’d be in control. She’d reclaim her heart.
Start next week? Not a chance in hell of that happening, he thought. “The deal has been struck.” He wouldn’t release her hands. “I think we should kiss to seal
the deal.”
“No kissing,” she ordered, pulling back.
Since she wasn’t tossing out additional rules, he could relax. No, he didn’t like all of her rules, but he knew that accepting them now and slowly getting her to trust him, to spend more time with him, was the only way he was going to get over that wall she’d built around herself. “Ah, but I didn’t agree with that rule. So yes, there’s definitely going to be kissing. And you’re coming back tonight…unless I can convince you to stay here with me now.”
She shook her head, horrified by the idea of spending the afternoon with him. In bed. Nope. Definitely not on her agenda today. “No. We’ll start this next week.”
“We’ll start tonight, Naya. Be back here tonight at six o’clock.” He glanced at his watch. “That’s in four hours. If you’re not here, I’ll come looking for you.”
She shivered, thinking about him in her tiny house. She didn’t want him in her house again. The last time, he’d looked too…wonderful. No, that couldn’t happen again. Her house was her sanctuary, the place she needed to protect so she would have a place to hide when all of this with Luke was over. “I’ll be here,” she promised. And hoped she could keep that promise.
She didn’t hesitate this time. She pulled her hands out of his and almost ran to his door, pulling it open and getting away from him.
Chapter 5
She didn’t want to think about tonight, but she couldn’t help it. Instead of heading back to the office and sifting through the latest listings, she drove over to the mall and meandered through the lingerie section, her fingers floating over the various pieces. She liked the see-through bra and panty set, but that seemed just a bit too adventurous. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be that obvious. There was a pretty pink set with lace bows along the sides of the underwear and between the cups, but…was that too romantic? This wasn’t a romantic night was it? Weren’t they just…having sex?
Defying His Charm Page 7