She looked good in every shot, and not one of them had told the truth about the two of us, or about her, about who she was, or what she wanted, or who she’d been in love with. Not any more than my Instagram account told all of my truth, or Darshi’s account, or Leela’s.
I clicked the link for Leela’s page, thinking that it might already have been taken down, but there it was, replete with pictures that told a familiar tale of ease and joy and beauty. Here I am with my famous friends, here I am at this great party, here I am on this beautiful beach. I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy. Every repetition a lie.
I looked at the pictures for a long time. Finally, I went to my Instagram draft file, and the question that had been waiting. I am a teenage girl, and I want to know how can I be brave like you.
I wrote, I’m not brave all the time. No one is. We’ve all been disappointed; we’ve all had our hearts broken, and we’re all just doing our best. Make sure you have people who love you, the real you, not the Instagram you. If you can’t be brave, pretend to be brave, and if you can’t do that yet, know that you aren’t alone. Everyone you see is struggling. Nobody has it all figured out.
I posted it, closed the app, and looked out into the darkness. I thought about what it would be like to quit social media for good, to give up my influencer dreams. I’d imagined someday being as big as Drue, or Leela, but now that dream felt hollow, like running a race for a medal, only to learn that the gold I’d sought was just colored foil wrapped around empty air. Nick and I could live on a beach somewhere, in a house on the edge of a dune, with ocean views and no Internet connection. I had money, or I would, and Nick would, too, assuming Drue’s will held up in court. I could give some to my parents and some to charity and keep the rest to begin whatever life I chose. I could be as public or as private as I liked, sharing only as much of myself as I wanted.
Through the window, I watched as Nick rolled over, sighing in his sleep. I could see the sky just starting to change colors, the black giving way to pearly gray. I looked at my phone, at the shots that Nick had taken of Drue and me in the water, on the last night of her life. Both of us were laughing, heads thrown back, the skirts of our dresses gathered in our hands. She’d been splashing me. Drops of water hung, sparkling, suspended in the air, and the sky stretched, vast and brilliant, behind us. She looked—we both looked—young and beautiful. Only one of us would stay that way forever.
I thought about all the things Drue hadn’t known, in that picture—that she had a brother and a sister. That all of her scheming would come to nothing, that she’d never save her father’s business, or launch her husband’s; she’d never get to be on TV, never divorce the man she didn’t love and marry the one she did. I stared, as hard as I could, but it was impossible to square the lovely, laughing girl in the picture with her current and absolute absence from my life, and from the world. A lovely memory / Until eternity; / She came, she loved, and then she went away.
Sitting under the brightening sky, the metal bars cool and familiar against my back, I felt my throat tighten and my eyes prickle with tears. She envied you, Aditya had said. A week ago, even a day ago, it would have sounded unbelievable, because what did I have that Drue could have ever wanted? But now I knew. It was all around me. A mother and father who loved each other and loved me. A man who might love me, too. A job I liked, a loyal dog, a true friend. Enough confidence to at least try to get the world to take me on my own terms. A body that had saved me.
I smiled down at my thighs and gave them an approving pat. “Thank you, thighs,” I whispered. I looked out at the city, the gorgeous end-of-night sky, and thought about a young woman who could have had any guy in the world and who had loved one just like my father. I could hear her, in the doorway of her bedroom, whispering, Thank you for being my friend. And I could see her, after the Sunday we’d spent together, with a plastic bag full of olives and almonds and baba ghanoush swinging from her arm, young and pretty and heading into her brilliant future, smiling and saying, This was the best day of my life.
Acknowledgments
I am grateful to be published by the wonderful people at Simon & Schuster and at Atria. My thanks to Carolyn Reidy and her assistant, Janet Cameron, to Jon Karp and to Libby McGuire and her assistant, Kitt Reckord-Mabicka. Thanks to my agent, Joanna Pulcini.
Lindsay Sagnette was a thoughtful, patient, and perceptive editor who helped coax this story to its fullest potential. My thanks to her and to her assistant, Fiora Elbers-Tibbitts.
At Atria, I am lucky to be supported by an amazing team of women and men who help my stories make their way into the world. Thanks to Suzanne Donahue, who is always great company; to Kristin Fassler; to the brilliant and creative Dana Trocker; to subrights wizard Nicole Bond; to my wonderful publicist Ariele Fredman and her daughter Millie, who gives me perspective and reminds us all that the purest love in the world is the love of a little girl for a big garbage truck.
Thanks to James Iacobelli and Olga Grlic, who are responsible for Big Summer’s stunning, summery cover, and to Andrea Cipriani Mecchi for making my author photo shoots a party instead of an ordeal. In the audio department, I am grateful to Chris Lynch, Sarah Lieberman, and Elisa Shokoff. In the production department, thanks to Katie Rizzo, Dana Sloan, Vanessa Silverio, Paige Lytle, Jessie McNiel, and Iris Chen.
Dhonielle Clayton and Preeti Chhibber were smart, discerning readers who pushed me to write a world inhabited by fully realized characters of all races and ethnicities. My thanks to both of them.
Thanks to Michelle Weiner (no relation—at least, none that we’ve discovered!) and to my brothers, Jake and Joe Weiner, who help me out in Hollywood.
For details about life online or in New York City, I am grateful to Amber McCulloch and Katie Murray. Any mistakes are my own.
Thanks to my friends of the writing and nonwriting variety. My husband, Bill Syken, is an insightful editor in addition to being the most dangerous player in the game. Adam Bonin continues to be kind and supportive and the best co-parent I could wish for.
Thanks to my daughters, Lucy and Phoebe, and my small dog, Moochie, who patiently and graciously (for the most part) share me with invented people while I’m living in a made-up world. Thanks to my sister, Molly Weiner, and to my mother, Frances Frumin Weiner, who took me to Cape Cod when I was a little girl and taught me to love the ocean.
My deepest gratitude to all of my readers, who come to my events, follow and interact with me on social media, and “like” my selfies, my tweets, my New York Times op-eds, my pictures of my dog, and my occasionally upside-down videos. Whether this is the first of my books you’ve read, or you’ve been a reader since Good in Bed and have grown up alongside me, I’m very happy that you’re here.
This book is dedicated to my fabulous, supportive, funny, and endlessly cheerful assistant, Meghan Burnett. “Assistant” doesn’t begin to cover what Meghan has been to me in the fifteen years we’ve worked together: she is a friend, an advocate, a keen and observant reader, kind enough not to laugh at me when I tell her, for example, that we need to order eight hundred boxes of Girl Scout cookies and patient enough to do it. She is also the person who everyone in my life, including my mother, prefers to deal with instead of me (“Is Meghan there? Put Meghan on the phone!”). Thanks, Meghan, for everything.
An Atria Reading Club Guide
Big Summer
Jennifer Weiner
This reading group guide for Big Summer includes an introduction, discussion questions, and ideas for enhancing your book club. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.
Introduction
The #1 New York Times bestselling author of the “nothing short of brilliant” (People) Mrs. Everything returns with an unforgettable novel about friendship and forgiveness set during a disastrous wedding on picturesque Cape Cod.
Topics & Questions for Discussion
1. How did the novel’s prologue frame your reading experience? How did you imagine that these characters would later fit into the narrative? Were you surprised to discover Nick’s secret? What did you learn about his mother from this scene that informed your reading of the rest of the book?
2. Daphne and Drue have always had a complicated, manipulative relationship that has left Daphne feeling hurt and betrayed. In the end, what do you think was a bigger factor in Daphne attending Drue’s wedding? Was it her general curiosity, the photo opportunities, or her willingness to forgive? Do you think you would have made the same decision in her position?
3. One rule of appearance that Daphne outlines at the beginning of Big Summer is to give the impression that “I care, but not too much” (p. 11). How is this related in particular to being a woman, especially a somehow marginalized one, on social media and even out in the world?
4. Aditya says of Drue, “‘I used to think, sometimes, that there were two Drues. Two people inside of one. There was the girl who was happy with me, volunteering and going to Red Sox games and sitting in the bleachers, or staying in and cooking. . . . Then there was the other Drue. The woman she was raised to be’” (p. 325). Is it possible that both of these personalities were real? Or do you think that one was more authentic than the other? And why was Aditya the character who experiences both versions?
5. Many characters in this novel are living with big secrets. For example: Nick has changed his name to escape his mother’s legacy, Leela Thakoon has also taken on a new identity, and Drue faked her entire wedding for the media attention. Is there a pattern to their motivations, or some secrets you find more justifiable than others?
6. One major theme in Big Summer is nature vs. nurture. Does being born into a pedigreed family automatically guarantee a certain personality, or are we more affected by the behavior of those around us? How do Mr. Cavanaugh’s different extramarital children exemplify this? And how does this affect people’s ability to change?
7. Big Summer explores various characters’ relationships to food. Daphne’s father teaches her to eat adventurously, Daphne’s grandmother views food as a tool to control her weight, and Drue, in a departure from her usual upscale choices, makes sure her wedding guests have chicken fingers and fries to come home to after a night of partying. What makes food so intimate, and what does it mean to Daphne to “ask your body what it wants” (p. 36)?
8. Social media has changed Daphne’s life. It’s not only her main source of income but where she’s found a community of women who make her feel seen. At the same time, she acknowledges, “‘Even if things don’t get better, you can always make them look good on the Internet’” (p. 60), which we see in action as Drue curates a pristine, if inaccurate, online presence. How has social media affected how all of us live our lives? Is there a way to be truly authentic online? (You might remember that Nick asks, “‘How are [kids] going to learn to have real relationships when most of their interactions are online?’” [p. 297])
9. One big theme of the book is forgiveness. Even Darshi, who was most skeptical of Daphne’s willingness to defend Drue, ultimately says, “‘No matter how bad Drue was, everyone deserves justice’” (p. 349). Do you agree? Are there other characters in the novel whose ultimate transformation supports your argument?
10. Daphne is a proud fat woman. Even so, like all people, she experiences moments of doubt that manifest in the taunting echoes of fat jokes she hears in her head (what she calls “my traitorous mind” [p. 135]). What does this say about how we internalize societal messages, even if we love ourselves? And how does this inform Daphne’s answer to the recurring question “How can I be brave?”
11. Midway through the novel, Daphne calls Drue “the luckiest girl I knew” (p. 155). However, in the scenes that follow it dawns on Daphne that Drue might have thought the same of her as a child. In the end, what does it mean to Daphne to be “lucky”?
12. Jennifer Weiner chose two iconic settings for Big Summer: Cape Cod and New York City. Both places are known for their glitz—Cape Cod as the beachy getaway for many a Kennedy, and New York City as a cultural hub. What was the effect of choosing these locations, either on each character’s upbringings or the assumptions they make about one another, especially as relates to socioeconomic class?
Enhance Your Book Club
1. Big Summer is filled with descriptions of food and references to New York City restaurants. Daphne even posts on social media about her Sunday meals with her dad. Make your own list of restaurants to visit in your city of choice, eat there with friends or family, and write about your experiences.
2. Anyone who’s ever graduated from high school can relate to the experience of “getting to know someone as an adult.” Is there a friend you wished you’d stayed in touch with? If you feel comfortable doing so, reach out to them.
3. Try to go a week—or, if it’s more realistic, a day—without social media, either viewing or posting. What do you miss the most? Do you notice any change in how you perceive yourself and others?
4. Visit Jennifer Weiner’s website at www.jenniferweiner.com to learn more about her and her books, and follow her on Twitter @jenniferweiner.
More from the Author
Mrs. Everything
Hungry Heart
Who Do You Love
All Fall Down
Disconnected
Good Men
About the Author
Jennifer Weiner is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of seventeen books, including Mrs. Everything, the children’s book The Littlest Bigfoot, and an essay collection, Hungry Heart: Adventures in Life, Love, and Writing. A graduate of Princeton University and contributor to the New York Times Opinion section, Jennifer lives with her family in Philadelphia. Visit her online at JenniferWeiner.com.
SimonandSchuster.com
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Jennifer-Weiner
@AtriaBooks @AtriaBooks @AtriaBooks
BOOKS BY JENNIFER WEINER
FICTION
Good in Bed
In Her Shoes
Little Earthquakes
Goodnight Nobody
The Guy Not Taken
Certain Girls
Best Friends Forever
Fly Away Home
Then Came You
The Next Best Thing
All Fall Down
Who Do You Love
Mrs. Everything
NONFICTION
Hungry Heart
FOR YOUNG READERS
The Littlest Bigfoot
Little Bigfoot, Big City
We hope you enjoyed reading this Simon & Schuster ebook.
Get a FREE ebook when you join our mailing list. Plus, get updates on new releases, deals, recommended reads, and more from Simon & Schuster. Click below to sign up and see terms and conditions.
CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP
Already a subscriber? Provide your email again so we can register this ebook and send you more of what you like to read. You will continue to receive exclusive offers in your inbox.
An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2020 by Jennifer Weiner, Inc.
Lyrics from “Blackbird” by the Beatles © 1968 Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC. All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, 424 Church Street, Suite 1200, Nashville, TN 37219. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“Not Waving but Drowning” by Stevie Smith, from COLLECTED POEMS OF STEVIE SMITH, copyright © 1957 by Stevie Smith. Reprinted by perm
ission of New Directions Publishing Corp.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Atria Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Atria Books hardcover edition May 2020
and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected].
The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.
Jacket design and illustration by Olga Grlic
Author photograph © Andrea Cipriani Mecchi
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-1-5011-3351-0
ISBN 978-1-5011-3353-4
Big Summer Page 34