by Zoey Castile
Sophia runs around the apartment, still going over the list. Looking at things now, I’m glad Sophia is the maid of honor. She’s done an amazing job, and she’s happy to be part of Lily’s life. They’re going to be family, after all. I feel a little bit guilty for being jealous of her.
“Where are you going?” Xiomara asks.
“What are you going to do?” Yenni asks.
“Is it for a guy?” Anise asks, getting to the heart of it.
I take a long sip of my wine. Lily sits at my side and leans her head on my shoulder. Things feel a little better between us, but I wonder if my mess-up as her bridesmaid has caused a rift we can’t come back from. Just because my life is changing doesn’t mean I want to lose her.
“Today is Lily’s night,” I say. “I won’t get into it. But yes. There is a guy. I’ve wanted to quit for a while. We’re going to Vegas for a little while. Then who knows? I’ve always wanted to travel the world.”
Anise looks at me curiously, then sips her wine through a straw so she doesn’t mess up her face mask. “Vegas? Do we get to meet the mystery guy?”
“Robyn’s bringing him tomorrow,” Lily says, and when she takes my hand in hers, I think everything will be all right.
“Can’t wait. Then, cheers to you,” Anise says. “To Happily Ever Afters for all.”
* * *
The day starts off without a hitch. For a while.
Everyone gets plenty of sleep and the hair and makeup people arrive bright and early. The limo is clean. Lily looks radiant in her white lace gown, a fairy tale come to life. There isn’t even any traffic on the way to the hall. The Astoria Foundry is a building with a brick industrial façade. Half of it is being consumed by thick ivy. Inside, the floors are polished stone. The walls have deep grooves tall enough for glass candles. White flowers wrap around a banister that leads to the ceremony hall. There are two suites for each bridal party.
I’m running around looking for my parents when I hear a quick, loud clicking sound. Sophia’s eyes are wide and her hands bat in the air like hummingbird wings.
“Robyn! I need you to talk to her,” Sophia says, barreling into me at the entrance. She looks like she can’t even, and is talking too fast. “She won’t talk to me.”
I head into the bride’s room. There are unopened champagne bottles everywhere. Lily is a vision in white, standing in front of a full-length mirror.
That’s when I get closer and see her face. She’s frowning grooves into her makeup.
“What’s wrong? Everything is going off perfectly.”
Lily takes a deep breath. Her eyes are red and watery.
“Oh, no,” I say, fishing through my purse for napkins. Where the hell is that emergency kit? “No, no, no. What’s wrong?”
“I’m pregnant.”
I look at her, eyes wide. “Oh my god.”
She breaks down into tears, and I hold her in my arms. “Lily—forgive me for asking this. But are you crying because you’re happy or because it’s the milkman’s?”
There’s that laugh. She laugh-cries, her makeup running down her face. “Only you would make a joke like that at a moment like this.”
“I mean,” I say, smiling down at her, “I’m trying to figure out this reaction.”
“Of course I’m happy. It’s just not part of my plan. Our plan. I found out yesterday.” She sighs, deflating like a forgotten party balloon. “You were right.”
“Well, you’re talking to someone who just threw out the playbook and decided to move to Vegas with her beautiful stripper boyfriend.”
“I haven’t told anyone yet. Not even Dave.”
Then, I think of this past year. All of the missed calls and appointments. Lily needed me and I wasn’t there. But now, now I can be here. “I’m sorry things have been weird lately. But you’re going to be okay.”
“What if Dave gets so upset he won’t marry me? He wanted to make partner first. I wanted to wait six years, minimum. The ceremony is in fifteen minutes—oh dear god, I’m going to be a pregnant girl left at the altar.”
I pull her into a hug. The only thing I can do is be here. “Dave loves you more than life itself. He would never leave you. You told me I had to be honest with you, and now it’s your turn. So, it’s happening sooner than you expected. You’re going to be great parents.”
“How do you know?”
“Because when I needed you to take care of me you were there. Because you’re a good person. Because you love with all your heart and this kid is going to be so lucky. Just don’t tell it about your wild college years. I’ll take care of that when the kid is in its teens.”
She laughs, and wipes snot from her face. “Is the makeup artist still here?”
“I’ll get him. You stay here. I’ll send Dave in after.” I start to walk away when I remember something. I open up my purse. “Oh. I know Sophia is in charge of the New-Old-Blue things. But I found this while I was packing.”
I hold out a hairpin covered in blue crystals. “Remember? We made them when we had matching prom dresses.”
Lily holds it in her hands. “You kept these? God, we were such losers.”
“The best kind of losers.”
When I walk outside, Sophia ambushes me in the hall.
“Is everything okay?” she asks frantically.
“Yeah, she just thought something was wrong. But she’s fine now. I need to find the makeup artist to touch her up.”
Sophia puts a hand on my shoulder. “Thanks, Robyn. I mean it.”
“What are friends for?”
* * *
The ceremony hall is straight out of a fairy tale. We line up for the procession. I go right after Sophia. Right until I absolutely have to take Lukas’s arm, I busy myself with fluffing the tulle of my lavender dress.
Lukas, as promised, doesn’t say a word to me except, “You look nice.” I answer with a polite “Thank you.” And then we’re going down the aisle.
I catch my mother’s eyes, from where she is sitting beside my father. What are they going to say when I tell them I’m leaving? I want to believe that they’ll be happy for me, but then you never know with parents.
They want the best for me, and in the end, I know that Fallon is the best thing for me. Maybe it’s the wedding, maybe it’s the relief of having things between me and Lily be okay, but I feel a well of tears rise in my eyes. I’m afraid if I blink, I’ll cry.
I pay attention to the flowers, the young rabbi waiting at the end of the aisle, the chuppah where Lily and David will stand underneath, the men in their suits with matching lavender pocket squares. I catch Dave’s blue eyes and they’re glassy, but I’ve never seen him so happy. He holds Lily’s hands like a true promise, and when I blink, tears run down my face.
When I was younger, I used to think that I wanted all of this by the time I reached my age. Part of why I’ve been so hard on myself, why I haven’t let myself be happy, has been because I let myself fall under the pressure of what I should have instead of enjoying the life that I do have.
Lily and David say their vows. The way he looks at her, as if she’s the only person in this room of four hundred people, I know that he’s going to make her happy. And when David shatters the glass under his foot, I know more than ever that I do want to get married one day. But first, I want to enjoy my life. Now, more than ever, I know that saying yes to Fallon is the right choice. The best choice.
Among the cheers and shouts of mazel tov, I follow the bridesmaids back out of the hall.
Fallon’s standing there, waiting for me. I take his hand. We join the crowds moving into the reception area for cocktails.
And because everything that goes up must come down, they do come down, crashing down in epic proportions.
FALLON
The groom crushes a glass under his foot. People stand and cheer and clap. The bride and groom kiss, but I only look at her.
Robyn is in a sweet light-purple dress with a white ribbon that ties around her perfect, tiny waist. I stay in
the shadows and watch her. But somehow, out of the massive crowd, she finds me.
Her face breaks into a smile when she sees me. She jumps on me and kisses me, a full-mouth kiss that makes nearby geriatrics either giggle or scoff in shock.
From the corner of my eye I see a familiar face. It actually takes me a moment to place her because I’ve put her out of my thoughts completely. Anise. The last time I saw her she was offering to have a threesome with me and Vinny Suave.
I nod an acknowledgment, but give my attention back to Robyn.
“You clean up nice,” she says, running her hands down the fitted deep-blue jacket.
I run my fingers along the pearl buttons of the white tuxedo shirt. “Thanks. I used Ricky’s guy. Are you sure it’s not too blue? Everyone here seems to be wearing black.”
“It’s the perfect blue.” She runs a finger along the lapel. Suddenly, I feel hot, overdressed, like I’m wearing someone else’s skin. “Come, meet my folks.”
Don’t choke now, Fallon, the Epic Fool of my heart commands me.
In this instance, I’d agree with him. Don’t choke. I get that this is a test, and I don’t want to fail her. Not now when it matters the most. I’m leaving in two days, and she’s going to meet me at the end of the month.
It’s cocktail hour. The light filters from the rustic glass ceiling covered in ivy. I take a glass of white wine, figuring it’s safe as long as I don’t drink anything with colors. My palms are sweating, so I clutch the stem of the glass harder as Robyn weaves through the crowds of people picking hors d’oeuvres from trays and throwing around kisses and greetings as if they haven’t seen one another in ten years.
I can’t remember the last time I went to a wedding. My circle of friends don’t exactly get married at a cutthroat rate. Gary’s married, and it was the biggest bash of the year. Best time of my life, and a record number of times I was propositioned by men and women in a single evening.
Still, Robyn is happy, and her smile shows it. That alone was worth the dozen times Ricky’s tailor stuck me with needles because he was in a rush.
We home in on an older couple. I instantly recognize them as Robyn’s parents. She has her mother’s slender hourglass figure and defiant stare. She’s got her dad’s thick hair and light-brown complexion. Mr. Flores isn’t even going gray yet, except for the well-trimmed beard he tugs on when he sees us approaching.
They give me the once-over. I wonder what they see. An expensive suit. A guy who wants to take their daughter away. Or do they see further down? A high school dropout. A stripper. Not good enough for Robyn.
I smile through my doubt and hold out my hand to Mrs. Flores first. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Normally, I’d ham it up. Compliment Mrs. Flores on how beautiful she is, but her bright blue eyes are watchful as a hawk’s, and something tells me she’s not the kind of woman easily wooed by compliments. “Mr. Flores.”
Good grip.
“Mom, Daddy,” Robyn says. How fucked up am I that I’m kind of turned on by the way she says daddy. “This is Zac Fallon. My boyfriend.”
I smile when she says that. I can’t help it and I don’t care if I look stupid. My boyfriend. The words give me a funny feeling I’ve never felt before. It’s not half bad.
Her mom takes my hand again. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Even though our daughter never makes time to call us and give us an update about her life.”
“Ma,” Robyn groans.
“So, Zac,” Mr. Flores says. “Give us the summary. Where are you from? Where did you meet? How long have you been dating?”
The man is probably a foot shorter than me, but he’s no less terrifying.
“I’m from Boston, originally. But I’ve spent the last ten or so years traveling around the world.” I look to Robyn, and she smiles.
“That sounds wonderful,” Mrs. Flores says. “Robyn’s always wanted to travel, but she never quite got around to it.”
“There’s still time,” I say, and Mrs. Flores seems to like that.
“So, Boston,” Mr. Flores says. “Where’d you study? One of my colleagues went to BU.”
The feedback of a mic makes everyone in the hall wince. A DJ taps on the mic and calls for our attention. I feel a sigh of relief as Robyn pulls me closer to the dance floor. Now dancing, that’s something I can handle.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Cohen for their first dance as husband and wife!”
Everyone cheers. I clap and whistle between my index finger and thumb.
Lily and David dance to an acoustic version of Guns N’ Roses’s “Patience.” Then, when the DJ welcomes everyone to the dance floor, I take Robyn by her hand and pull her along with me. I twirl her under my hand, and she’s a vision as her dress swirls wide, then falls around her knees.
“Am I doing okay?” I whisper in her ear. I keep her close, a hand on her waist and another in the air, rocking our bodies to the music.
“Please don’t feel like you have to lie to my parents,” she whispers. “They’re going to love you because I love you.”
I pull back and stare at her. The way she says it, so easily, without hesitation, renders me silent. I love you. It’s been on the tip of my tongue for days and I haven’t been able to get it out.
Until now.
“I love you, too, Robyn Flores.” I lean down and tap a kiss on her lips. Lily’s watching us and she gives me a tiny nod, as if she approves of me.
That’s it. That’s all I cared about: Robyn’s parents and Lily. No one else after that matters.
We dance for a while, and couples fill the dance floor. Lily even joins us, and I might be showing off some of my best (family friendly) dance moves. I spin Lily back to her groom, and Robyn is there waiting for me. I’m about to take a step toward her, when I see Lukas walking over to us, with Anise by the hand. Rage clouds my vision, and it takes every ounce of self-control I possess to relax.
She taps Robyn on her shoulder. “Can we cut in?”
Robyn looks from me to Lukas and from Anise to me. I shrug one shoulder, and take Anise’s small hand.
“So, you’ve been dating Flores?” I’m not sure if she means it to be a question or an accusation. “At least I know why you turned me down.”
“It wasn’t personal, Anise,” I tell her, and spin her when the ballad calls for it. “Besides, you had fun with Vinny, right?”
“I get it.” She turns her face up and smiles. Her dark eyes slide toward where Lukas and Robyn dance stiffly. “But I’m not the one you should worry about. Maybe you shouldn’t be here, not if you’re going to fight with him. Be the better man.”
Like I should’ve been that night at the restaurant.
Another bridesmaid saunters over to where Anise and I are dancing. Lukas and Robyn are on the other side of the dance floor.
“Excuse me.”
The other bridesmaid grabs my suit jacket, unable to balance on her heels. “Where do I know you from?”
Her eyes are bright and dark brown. They trace my face, my shoulders, and linger at my dick. Subtle.
“I just have one of those faces,” I say, and pull out of her grasp.
But as I walk away, I hear her gasp to Anise and say, “I know him. He was—”
I walk faster, and go back for my date. But Robyn isn’t with Lukas; she’s dancing with her dad now. Mr. Flores winks at me, and twirls Robyn back my way.
“I—I think I should go,” I say, taking her hands in mine.
“What? Why?”
I shake my head and pull her out of the dance area and toward a dimly lit brick wall. “Because the bridesmaid recognized me from the shower.”
“Which one?” she asks.
“The one walking with Anise,” I say. “They’re heading this way now.”
Anise and the other girl walk arm in arm, nearly dissolving into a fit of giggles. “I’ll handle this,” Robyn says.
I linger in the hall. A waiter comes by with a tray of wineglasses and I grab one. I’
m curious about how Robyn is supposed to “handle” this. I walk around the wall where the three of them are huddled in the corner.
“You’re dating the stripper!” Bridesmaid #3 says. “Why didn’t you say so before?”
“It’s none of our business,” Anise says. “Robyn can do what she wants.”
“You knew?” Robyn asks.
“No, I just hooked up with one of his friends. He talked about a girl, but I didn’t know it was you. If I did I wouldn’t have thrown myself at him.”
“Anise!” Robyn shouts.
“What? He’s fine,” Anise says.
“He’s totally fine,” Bridesmaid #3 says. “Is he for, like, hire? Or are things serious?”
“He’s not for fucking hire!” Robyn says. “He’s my date. What kind of question is that? This is Lily’s wedding, not the day Robyn brings a male stripper to the reception, so just keep it to yourself.”
“Jeez, Robyn,” Bridesmaid #3 says. “Suddenly, you’re moving and you become a total bitch.”
“Yeah, well, this bitch is about to start telling people about your nose job, so you should probably walk away from me right now.”
Heels echo quickly down the hall.
“Damn, girl,” Anise says. “I’ve never seen you stand up for yourself.”
“I need a drink,” Robyn says.
I walk around the hall. Anise sees me and scatters.
“Hey,” I say, and hand Robyn my glass. “I heard you needed a drink.”
“You heard that?”
“I don’t belong here,” I tell her. “I mean, I love attention, but not this kind of attention.”
“You belong with me. What Xiomara said doesn’t change how I feel about you. It doesn’t change that we’re moving. Our life doesn’t include all of these strangers. My dad took one look at Lukas and shooed him away. He likes you. The tough one is my mom.”
She perks up when she hears a song she likes. It has a ballroom salsa flair with loud horns and quick percussion. And just like that, the desire to make her happy trumps every discomfort in my body. I lead her back to the dance floor.
“You can salsa?” she asks with a sly smirk.
“I’ve danced for ten years, baby.” I spin her and grab her around her waist, pressing her against me. I give her a nudge on her shoulder and lead. She matches my rhythm, our feet moving to the one-two-three-one one-two-three-one of the song. She’s amazing, her hips moving from side to side, her hair coming undone from her hairpins. I spin her, again and again, until I catch her, and sweep her backward, her hair grazing the floor.