by Cathy Marie Hake, Lynn A. Coleman, Mary Davis, Susan Page Davis
She smiled at him, and his heart melted all over again.
When the crowd thinned to but a couple of customers, he went back to her. “Go home, and don’t come back.”
“When do you open in the morning?”
“Vivian, stay home. I don’t want to worry about you.”
“You’re working too hard. Until William gets here, I’ll help.”
He raked his hand through his hair again. “If I hire someone, will you stay at home?” She turned and faced him with a look of determination. He wanted to kiss her. Her lips moved, and she’d said something. He wasn’t sure of it, so he swallowed hard and took a step back. “What?”
“I said yes. If you hire someone so you aren’t working yourself ragged, I won’t come down here and work for you.”
He hired Finn that afternoon to look out for things at the shipping office and sent Vivian home. And although he hated to admit it, he did feel lighter knowing he didn’t have to be at the warehouse all the time as well as at his store.
Chapter 16
Conner stood in Vivian’s parlor, looking out the window at the budding bushes and trees. Winter had come and gone the same as the fall: cold and rainy. Spring was a nice relief with warmer rains and budding flowers.
He’d managed to keep both his store and the shipping business running smoothly over the winter months, as well as seeing to it that Martin had time to get the children’s home fixed up. Mrs. Parker seemed grateful to Martin for all his work. Vivian had done her best to stay uptown at Conner’s insistence, but when she had ventured down, he was always glad to see her. She’d started taking visitors but hated the falsehood in herself and the other ladies; everyone pretending to be friends and being glad to see each other when the society ladies didn’t think her socially worthy any more than Vivian wanted to be their socially snobbish equal.
“You’re so introspective, Conner.”
Vivian stood very near to him, smiling. He tried not to think about how it would be to kiss her and tore his gaze away from her lips.
“I have a lot on my mind with William arriving in a couple of weeks. I want to make sure the shipping office is in order.”
“I can’t wait to see Sarah and the baby. She wrote in her letter that she’d had a girl but didn’t tell me her name.”
It would be good for Vivian to have a friend her social equal. He should comment but was struggling not to take her into his arms. He flexed his fingers then made fists again. He should leave now but found himself powerless to move.
“You’ll like William.” She shook her head. “I forgot you’ve known him longer than I have.”
“I haven’t seen him since he was twelve.” But he’d known everything William had been doing over the years through Randolph.
“Oh, I didn’t realize. That’s a long time. He’s grown into a godly man. And like Randolph, he’s handsome. William, Sarah, you, and I can all socialize together.” She stopped short and looked embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to be presumptuous.”
“It’s not presumptuous.” He wanted to say more but found his mouth unwilling to form words. Vivian’s presence seemed to draw him closer. He should walk away into the night before he crossed a line that there was no turning back from and did something he shouldn’t. She was still in black after all, a symbol of being Randolph’s widow.
Instead, he took a step closer. Vivian tilted her head back and smiled up at him. That was his undoing. He leaned into her and pressed his lips gently to hers. When she didn’t back away, he cupped her face in his hands.
He pulled away when the doorbell chimed. What had he done? She was still in mourning. He couldn’t read her expression, and before he could say anything, Martin stormed into the room.
“What is it?”
Martin breathed heavily. “It’s Finn. He got himself in a lick of trouble and is in jail.”
Conner raked a hand through his hair then turned to Vivian. “I have to go.”
She smiled and nodded.
He left with Martin. They arrived at the jail to find Finn lying on the cot in the cell, snoring. “Finn, what have you done?”
“He drank half the tavern then started a fight with three others.” The sheriff stood beside him. “The doctor has looked after him. When someone pays the good doctor, I’ll let him out, but not before morning, so don’t bother coming back tonight. He’ll be sleeping it off all night, anyhow.”
“I’ll be back in the morning.”
Outside Martin said, “I’m sorry for disturbing your evening.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you came to get me.”
“But I spoiled your evening with Mrs. Carlyle. Are you going to head back over to her place?”
“Not tonight.” The timing had actually been good. He had needed the interruption. He needed time to decide what to do.
“I know you care for her deeply.”
“How do you know that?”
“The way you talk about her. The way you look at her when she comes into the store. The way you look at closing time when you’re anticipating seeing her. It’s the way I feel about Abigail.”
“I can’t hide much from you.” He smiled. “How is Mrs. Parker?”
“She’s doing well.” Martin smiled now. “Those chicks I got her at the end of November have started laying, and I have the garden all tilled up. I’m going to see if she needs more seeds.”
“It sounds like she might have softened toward you.”
“She’s started to think of me as more than just a handyman. She’s invited me to supper a couple of times for no reason at all.”
“Oh, there’s a reason. How do you get on with her son?”
“He’s been real shy. He sits off and watches me. I try to get him to help me, but he won’t. He’ll help the boys. Then last week when I was in the barn, he came up to me and said, ‘My papa died.’ I said, ‘I know.’ Then he took my hand.”
“Sounds like he might have accepted you.”
“I hope so. And Mrs. Carlyle? When does she come out of mourning?”
“I don’t know.” Conner rubbed the back of his neck. “I hope I didn’t ruin things tonight. I may have been a might too forward.”
“I thought I interrupted something. Maybe you should go back.”
“I need time to think and sort things out.” He parted ways with Martin and pointed his feet toward home.
Vivian hadn’t seemed mad at him for kissing her—at least she hadn’t slapped him—but neither did she seem pleased. It was as though she were stunned by his action. Had he ruined everything? He would apologize tomorrow and tell her he didn’t know what came over him. She would forgive him.
The next evening, Vivian stood in her parlor, unfolded Conner’s note, and read it again. She’d lost count of how many times.
Vivian,
We need to talk. I’ll come by at 7:30.
Conner
Conner had never before sent her a note to announce his arrival. He didn’t need to. We need to talk. Four words never sounded so ominous. She knew he wanted to talk about kissing her last night. Did he regret it? She’d been in high spirits all day until his note had stolen her joy.
Lord, please let Conner have meant that kiss. If the kiss was a mistake, please protect my heart.
The mantel clock struck the half hour. She sucked in a hasty breath, and her stomach tightened. The doorbell chimed a moment later. Maggie would get it. She walked to the window and stared out at the darkening sky.
“Vivian.”
She couldn’t turn around, dreading what he might say. Protect my heart. Conner was the one person she wanted to see most right now and the only person she dreaded seeing.
“Vivian.” He stood right behind her.
She turned and looked up at him. Protect my heart. “Conner.” She walked around him. “Won’t you sit down?”
He took her arm and turned her to face him, then studied her face. “I’ve upset you.”
She forced a smile. “Don’t be sil
ly. You just arrived. How could you have upset me?”
“Last night. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me. I wasn’t thinking. You’re still in mourning.” The lines around Conner’s slightly squinted eyes belied his anguish.
Maggie entered with a tea tray. Vivian turned, grateful for the distraction. “Thank you, Maggie.”
Maggie set the tray down on the table in front of the couch. “Would you like me to pour?”
Vivian was about to say yes so she wouldn’t have to endure the awkwardness of being alone with Conner when Conner spoke up.
“We’ll manage. Thank you, Maggie.”
Maggie nodded and left the room.
Vivian wanted to call the older woman back but instead sat on the edge of the settee. “I’ll pour you a cup.” She tipped over one of the teacups reaching for the teapot. The cup rattled excessively as she tried to right it.
“I don’t want any tea.” Conner took her hand and brought her to her feet.
She forced her gaze to his. “Please don’t say it,” she barely whispered.
The V between his eyebrows sharpened. “Say what?”
Maybe if she kept it to herself, they could pretend nothing happened. “Nothing. The tea’s getting cold.”
“Vivian, I don’t want to say anything to hurt you. Tell me.”
She might as well, or she’d fuss over it in her mind until she made herself sick. “Don’t say that you’re sorry for kissing me last night.”
He gazed at her. “What do you want me to say?”
She turned away from him. “I’m not sure.”
He turned her back. “Tell me what it is.”
Should she tell him what was in her heart? Did he feel anything for her? Would he think her an awful person for falling in love with her deceased husband’s best friend while she was still in widow’s garb? She should wait. “Conner, really, it’s nothing.”
He stared at her for a long moment then took her hand and held it. “Come, sit.” He sat with her on the settee.
Her stomach tightened even more. She could barely breathe. He wasn’t going to let this go. Protect my heart.
“When Randolph first introduced me to his new wife, I was happy for him and felt he’d found himself a good wife. As I heard him talk about you and I spent time around you …” He hesitated, looked down at his hands, then gazed directly at her, “I began developing feelings for you. I know it was wrong,” he hurried to say. “That’s why I had decided to leave town. But then Randolph asked me to look out for you while he was gone. I tried to turn him down but couldn’t. Please don’t hate me for falling in love with a married woman.”
“Never, Conner. I could never hate you. You have proved yourself to be a loyal friend and honorable man. You never in word or deed did anything to betray your friendship with Randolph or to go against God’s teachings.” To love her all these months and do nothing about it. Her heart leapt for joy. She reached up and touched his cheek with her fingers. “I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”
He gave her a lopsided grin and just stared at her.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Say something. Do something.” She was suddenly nervous he’d think poorly of her. Why wasn’t he saying anything?
He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. He leaned forward and kissed her as she’d never been kissed before. This was the kiss of a man who truly loved her. Her heart exploded with thanksgiving to God for a love like this. Thank You.
Vivian stood in the carriage and let Scotty help her down. “Come back for me in an hour.” When she entered Conner’s store, he was ringing up a customer’s order and handing back change.
Conner came over to her immediately. “What are you doing downtown?”
“Maggie needs a few things for the kitchen.” She smiled up at him. “And I wanted to see you.”
His frown melted to a smile. “I’m glad to see you, too.” He guided her around behind the counter and lifted her with ease up onto the stool. He kept his voice low. “I got to thinking last night that maybe I’d dreamed I kissed you and you said you loved me.”
“You didn’t dream it.”
“You shouldn’t have come down here.”
“Scotty drove me, and I’m with you now. I’m perfectly safe.”
He shook his head. “Not that. I’ve held my feelings in for you so long, now that you know how I feel about you and you feel the same, I’m not going to be able to hide them from everyone.”
“You shouldn’t have to hide them. Besides, there has been some talk about town. People wondering if you’ve become more than Randolph’s friend to me. Most people really believe you are Randolph’s brother and that you only come around because you are family.”
“But isn’t it too soon for you to be openly courted? You’re still wearing black. How much longer?”
He was as eager as she for her to no longer look the widow. “It depends. Some say a year, others eighteen months, while still others wear mourning clothes for two years. Abigail Parker wore her mourning clothes for only three months. They made her son sad. I think most people think six months is respectable enough. It’s been about six months. I’ll come out of mourning.”
“Don’t. Not just yet. Wait until after William comes. Let him see you are honoring his brother’s memory.”
“William knows I didn’t love Randolph.”
“Even so, for me, wear your mourning clothes until after William’s visit.”
She could wear black that much longer now that she knew how Conner felt about her. She’d been afraid that the black was keeping him away. “Anything for you.”
He knit his brow slightly. “Except staying uptown.”
She smiled. “You can’t expect to keep a woman in love away from the object of her affection.”
He thinned his lips. “See, it’s things like that that will let everyone in town know there is something between us.”
She glanced about. “No one heard me.”
“Yes, but they could see that smile across the room, and they’ll wonder why I’m smiling all day.”
“I can’t help it if I want to see you more.”
“We’ll talk about our future tonight.”
Future. She liked the sound of that. She wanted him to take her in his arms and kiss her, but instead she held out a slip of paper. “This is what Maggie needs.”
He took it. “Good. I need to keep busy while you’re here.” He walked off and started gathering her order.
Vivian picked up the Sears and Roebuck catalog and started flipping through it. The hour quickly passed as she pretended to look at the catalog but really watched Conner work around his store and help customers. She was fortunate to have a good and generous man love her. Thank You, Lord.
Scotty entered the store and came over to her. “You ready to leave?”
She wanted to say no but knew she should leave. “Con—Mr. Jackson has Maggie’s order here behind the counter.”
Conner came over to help carry it out to the carriage. “Do you have room for Mrs. Parker’s order?”
“I didn’t bring the wagon.” Scotty hefted a sack of flour onto his shoulder.
If Conner had something for Abigail, then they would certainly take it. Vivian turned to Scotty. “Can’t we fit it on the luggage rack in the back? We’re heading over to see her anyway.”
“Then where will I put Miss Maggie’s things?”
She sighed. “We can’t fit it all?”
“Finn should be back from a delivery with my wagon soon. I’ll send him over with the food for the orphanage before I send him out for the next delivery,” Conner said.
Scotty set the sack of flour back onto the floor and eyed Conner. “I’ll tell you what. We can load the food for those children and take it over now. Then while Mrs. Carlyle is visiting, I’ll come back to get Maggie’s order and take it to the house, then pick Mrs. Carlyle up.” Scotty turned to her. “Will that give you enough time to cat
ch up with Mrs. Parker?”
“Scotty, that’s perfect.”
Conner and Scotty made short work of loading and tying down the supplies on the luggage rack in the back.
A bawdy-looking woman stopped at the store window and peered in. Conner frowned and headed over to her. “I’m afraid you’ll have to shop elsewhere.”
The woman smiled coyly with her red-painted lips. “I’m only here to shop.”
“I don’t serve your kind.”
“Too bad for you.” The woman winked at him and left.
Vivian felt no twinge of jealousy, because Conner wasn’t at all interested in the woman. He almost seemed disgusted. At the same time she felt pity for the woman.
Conner was still frowning when he helped her up into the carriage. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“What was wrong? Didn’t that woman have money?”
“I run a respectable business. I’ll not have strumpets loitering outside my store.”
“But she just wanted to shop. Isn’t her money the same as everyone else’s?”
Conner gritted his teeth. “No, it’s not.”
“But—”
“I don’t want to talk about this any further.” He walked into his store.
That wasn’t like Conner. He was always kind and caring. How could he be so cold to that woman just because of her profession? She had feelings like everyone else. He had to have a reason for his strong reaction to that kind of woman. The kind of woman Vivian used to be. Would he hate her for her past? Or did he just hate women who were currently in the world’s oldest profession? She needed to talk to him about it tonight, even though it saddened her to think his love for her might instantly die.
She tried to put Conner’s reaction to the woman of ill repute out of her mind by the time she reached the Randolph Carlyle Home for Children. She was glad that Randolph would be remembered in this way.
Peter came running out before Scotty got the carriage stopped. “Miss Vivian!”
When Scotty set the brake, she held out her hand to the boy. “Hello, Peter.”