by Paris Rose
I glanced over at Trevor. He was already asleep. He looked like an angel. I sighed as I realized that I was creating problems that didn’t exist by overthinking things. I had nothing to complain about. Trevor and I had a good life together. And I knew he was giving me all that he had. He’d been honest with me from the beginning about being incapable of loving me the way that I loved him. I suppose it would be unfair of me to demand of him what he didn’t have to give. And besides, he’d already given me enough. Being with Trevor afforded me the career of my dreams, a billionaire lifestyle, and a vibrant sex life. It would be selfish of me to ask for more. I drifted off into a much-needed slumber as I realized just how lucky I was.
* * *
Life was going well. I’d only been an on-air music industry correspondent for two months and I’d already interviewed at least half of my idols, Jade Johansson included. Jade was not only striking and voluptuous, she was also the most talented and successful woman on the hard rock scene. I’d been a huge fan of hers for as long as I could remember. I’ll never forget the first time I met her. It was when Trevor and I were out to dinner during my vacation in L.A., last fall. Jade’s band is on Trevor’s record label and she used to date one of his business partners, but we haven’t really crossed paths since we partied together in VIP the first night I met her. I got to speak with her briefly after I interviewed her for Rock Hard TV last month, but she had to run off to another engagement so we couldn’t chat for long. I was excited that Trevor agreed to make time for her birthday party tonight. Her entire band was going to be there, as well as lots of other cool people from the hard rock scene. I was thrilled that I was going to get to spend time with Jade again, and I was really craving a night out on the town. Trevor and I hadn’t been out since our trip to Hawaii, which was over two months ago. He was always working, and when he wasn’t working, he was disciplining me or we were having sex. I welcomed a change of pace.
Jade’s party was at a club called Dungeon X. I had heard Trevor mention it in passing before, but for some reason, we never went. He said it was a very popular club in the upper echelon of the BDSM community. I was curious who would be there. Trevor said there was a lot of overlap on the hard rock scene and the BDSM scene. I wondered just how many rock stars practiced BDSM. I was excited to find out tonight.
We arrived late because Trevor was too engrossed in mixing his latest track to get up and get ready. At first I was angry with him for making us late, but my frustration dissipated every time I looked at him. He looked so good, it made my knees weak. He was wearing fitted black leather pants, black combat boots and a vintage Iron Maiden T-shirt that clung to his body. It was amazing how Trevor could seamlessly transition from being a billionaire in a business suit, to a hard rocker dressed in dark leather.
Trevor looked great, but I felt a little out of my element. I’ve always loved the hard rock scene, but for some reason, in this particular instance, I felt like a poser. I was dressed appropriately for the occasion, but it didn’t feel like me. I was wearing a black, low-cut bandage top that exposed my belly, tight, black leather shorts that looked like underwear, fishnet stockings, and black platform Prada pumps. The diamond collar Trevor gave me stood out against my dark clothing. I felt like I was dressed up for Halloween.
And I couldn’t believe how much Trevor had spent on my outfit, considering it was made of such little material. My attire was actually tame compared to what some of the women at the club were wearing. I saw a few women in leather outfits that exposed everything including their breasts. Most of the women wearing skimpy leather wore elaborate nipple piercings that added at least a little coverage.
Jade and her entourage were sitting on an extravagant looking set of sofas that were upholstered with red velvet. It looked like everyone there had already had several drinks. There was a variety of top-shelf liquors sitting on the table, as well as a bucket of chilled Moët. Jade stood to greet me and Trevor as soon as we entered the room. She looked stunning. Her long, jet-black hair, complemented her super fair skin. And her dark eyeliner accentuated her striking, light-blue eyes. She was wearing a deep red lipstick that really popped, even in the dimly-lit club. Her purple and black corset hugged her perfectly proportioned curves, and her black tulle skirt really made her look like a rock star. Even though I kind of knew her on a personal level, I was always starstruck by Jade. She hugged Trevor and kissed him on both cheeks before pulling me into her embrace.
“Giavanna! So good to see you. I can’t believe you got this workaholic out of the house.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t easy.” I smiled.
“Hey, some people have bills to pay,” Trevor quipped dryly.
“Really, Trevor?” Jade rolled her eyes. “You’re acting like you’re some wage slave. You can afford to take a break every now and again.”
“Well I did, ‘cause I’m here,” Trevor retorted. I think he was still upset that he couldn’t finish his work before we left.
“And I really appreciate it, hunny.” Jade caressed Trevor’s bicep. “You seem a little wound up, though. Sit down. Have a drink.”
“Thanks, birthday girl.” I saw a hint of a smile on Trevor’s lips.
“I don’t know how you put up with him.” Jade leaned in and feigned a whisper as she shot Trevor a lighthearted glare.
“Sometimes I don’t know either,” I replied playfully. Jade and I giggled together. I wished her a Happy Birthday before I slid past a group of people I didn’t know and grabbed a seat next to Trevor.
“Champagne?” Trevor gestured toward the bucket.
“Nah, I’m going to do liquor tonight.”
“I think liquor may be a little too strong for you. You should probably just have some champagne. It’s a good bottle.”
“All right, I’ll have champagne then.” Even though I always hold my liquor well, Trevor usually knew best, so I didn’t object. Jade’s circle was really intriguing. Everyone there was eccentric, creative, and slightly histrionic. I enjoyed them. Unfortunately, since we got there pretty late, the party started to thin out soon after we arrived. Trevor was off talking with a few guys that he knew, and I was sitting on the couch playing on my smartphone, when Jade slid in next to me.
“So hey! Sorry, I haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to you tonight. I’m so happy you came!” Jade was bouncing off the walls with an unnatural level of energy. I was curious if she was high on some kind of stimulant.
“It’s okay. I’m so happy to be here. Thanks for having me. How are you enjoying your birthday?”
“Oh, I’m having a great time, but the party is just getting started.”
I was confused. It looked like the party was winding down to me. “What do you mean?” I turned to face Jade.
“Do you know about what it is that we do?”
“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
“WIITWD?”
“What?” I was thoroughly confused.
Jade leaned in like a gossipy school girl. “So Trevor hasn’t taught you about the BDSM stuff yet?”
I blushed as I realized that Jade was in, too. I had no idea how common this alternative lifestyle was. “Oh yeah, I know about that. But what is WIITWD?”
“What It Is That We Do is an acronym we use to include all alternative lifestyles, not just those limited to dominance and submission or sadism and masochism. WIITWD casts a wider net. It’s more inclusive, but I just practice BDSM.”
“Oh, so do you have a Dom?” I leaned in curiously.
“Oh no, hunny!” Jade cackled so hard her face turned red. “I am the Domme.” She flashed a prideful grin.
Whoa! A female Domme. I want to know more. Jade never ceased to amaze me. “So wait, do you have a sub?” I raised my eyebrows.
“I have multiple subs. Two men and one woman.”
Jade’s bi? Well, not that there’s anything wrong with that. “Wow, that’s interesting, Jade. I would have never known if you hadn’t told me.”
�
�Oh yes, hunny. I blend in well in the vanilla world. But so do you. How is being a sub coming along for you?”
I felt put on the spot. I really liked Jade, but I didn’t want to talk to her about my personal life with Trevor. And I felt like I wouldn’t fit in any more if she found out I wasn’t a sub. I decided to change the subject. “It’s going fine, but I’m more interested in what you do. I want to learn how to be a Domme.” I felt myself glow with excitement. I could see myself being a good Domme with the proper training.
“Well, first you have to be a good sub before you can learn to dominate. But I don’t think Trevor is going to go for letting you be a Domme. Do you not know him, sweetie?” I realized that even though we had been together for over six months, I really didn’t know him that well. But I’d somehow convinced him to be in a relationship with me, without becoming his submissive, so perhaps I could convince him to allow me to dominate him, at least for a night. My mind was churning with ideas.
A bald guy dressed in leather interrupted me and Jade. I was grateful that I wouldn’t have to answer any more questions about my relationship with Trevor. “Hey birthday girl, are you ready for your birthday licks?” The guy slurred his words. He was obviously inebriated.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Jade’s bright blue eyes glistened with excitement. I didn’t realize people our age still did that. I hadn’t gotten birthday licks since middle school.
Jade turned to me. “You know, the best part about being a well-respected Domme is, I don’t take birthday licks any more—I dish them out.” Jade rose to her feet. She was beaming. She cupped her hands around her mouth and projected her voice. “Everybody get up and get your asses in line! It’s time for birthday licks.” Jade was practically singing her words. Everyone that was still left at the party howled and cheered. I watched as they all lined up. Each one of them pulled down their pants and bent over a steel spanking bench that was in the corner, one at a time. Jade gave each person at least three swats with a paddle. She struck them more if they cried out. I felt someone put their arms around me and press into me from behind as I watched the mass spanking session that was taking place. It was Trevor. I recognized the feel of his body.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Let’s sneak upstairs before it’s our turn.”
“Yeah, good idea.” I giggled. Trevor grabbed my hand and led the way. We ducked into a dark corner at the top of the stairs. “Do people get spanked at every party?” I whispered.
“Yeah, pretty much. But I always get away before it’s my turn.”
“You don’t like getting spanked?”
“No,” Trevor replied curtly.
“What if it’s by a really hot Domme?” I thought I’d see how far Trevor would let me go.
“No.”
“Have you ever tried it?”
“Yes, and I didn’t like it.”
“Oh, why not? You can’t handle a little pain?” I teased.
“I can handle pain just fine, but being disciplined fucks with my head,” Trevor snapped. “My mother spanked and paddled me from the time I was three, all the way until I turned eighteen and moved out of her house. It was painful and humiliating, especially as a teenager.” He bit his lip as if to silence himself, but the words kept coming. “When I was thirteen, she caught me masturbating, and she made me strip down and let her beat the shit out of me with a leather belt, all while she told me how disgusting I was. And it happened again when she found out that Sasha and I started sleeping together. My mother put all kinds of fucked up ideas in my head about sex. And she taught me that the only way to show love, outside of spending money, is discipline. That’s probably why I’m such a strong disciplinarian with my subs. I was taught—the stronger the beating, the deeper the love. And I do discipline out of love, just so you know. I discipline you because I care.” I could hear the sincerity in his voice. “But I could never allow a woman to discipline or dominate me. I’ve tried it. And I can’t. It just brings back too many memories,” he said. I stood silently as I tried to digest everything he had shared. He looked like he was going to be sick.
I was disgusted with the way Contessa Dunaway ruined her child. She caused so much psychological damage to Trevor that she probably didn't even realize. She seemed so perfect on the outside, but deep inside, she was actually a very sick child abuser. I decided I hated her more than any of the women from Trevor’s past. Although Sasha broke his spirit by ending her own life, and Angel led him down the dark path to BDSM, it was Contessa who really destroyed him. The reason he didn’t know how to love is because his mother never showed him how. I reached down and squeezed Trevor’s hand. I was overcome with compassion for him.
“Trevor, I’m so sorry you grew up like that.” I tried to get him to look at me, but he avoided eye contact.
“I’m sorry, too, but I don’t want to talk about it any more. I hate that it even came up. Let’s never discuss it again,” he said firmly. I nodded in understanding. “Come, I want to show you something upstairs,” he commanded as he grabbed my hand.
I felt sick over Trevor’s upbringing. No wonder he spiraled out of control when he was younger. I wanted to comfort him, but I decided to allow him to drop the subject. I didn’t want to pry any more than I already had. He led me down a dark hallway to a doorway with a velvet curtain. An attractive woman with a nose ring, dressed in a latex cat suit, stood outside the doorway.
“Mr. Dunaway. It’s been a long time. Glad to have you back.” The woman nodded and pulled back the curtain. There were two beds on opposite sides of the room and a Saint Andrew’s cross in the middle. The same red velvet sofas that were downstairs lined the walls. A driving guitar riff and blood-curdling vocals filled the air on the surround sound speakers. I recognized the artist immediately; it was Marilyn Manson. The music was quite fitting for the sight before us. There were about eight people in the room, besides me and Trevor. They were split into groups and couples, all engaged in various BDSM scenes.
Trevor sat down on the couch in front of the Saint Andrew’s cross and patted the seat next to him. I obediently sat at his side. I was really uncomfortable being surrounded by a bunch of strangers engaged in taboo sex acts. I was starting to perspire, and my stomach was in knots. I really didn’t want to be there, but I wanted to allow Trevor to have a good time and forget about the painful memories I drudged up. I tried to relax as I watched a naked woman being fastened to the Saint Andrew’s cross with leather straps. The way she was bound accentuated her breasts and her hairless mound. Her clit was adorned with elaborate body jewelry. She looked like a work of erotic art.
Trevor spread his legs and adjusted his weight as we watched a shirtless man kiss the naked woman who was bound to the cross. A delicate trail of saliva escaped the woman’s mouth as the man slowly withdrew from the kiss. Trevor caressed my thigh as we watched the man take one of the woman’s nipples in his mouth. She moaned with delight. I was starting to get turned on, which made me uncomfortable, because we were in a room full of strangers. The man let his mouth travel to the woman’s opposite breast. He squeezed it before taking it in his mouth again.
I glanced over at Trevor, and he had become fully aroused as we watched the man suck on the woman’s nipples and toy with her body jewelry. Trevor adjusted himself. He was so hard, it looked like his cock was going tear out of his fitted leather pants. The fact that he was so turned on titillated me.
I closed my eyes as he caressed the small of my back. I felt totally out of my element. I was too embarrassed to watch any more, but I could hear the sound of the woman’s moans over the music. The sound of sex made me wet even though I didn’t want it to.
Trevor grabbed my hand and slid it up his thigh before wrapping my fingers around his cock. I felt his breathing change as he guided my hand up and down. I couldn’t believe I was giving my boyfriend a hand-job while we were watching a sex show in a BDSM dungeon.
Trevor leaned in and kissed me as he continued stroking himself with my hand
. My heart raced as I felt a combination of excitement and humiliation. Trevor used his free hand to rub my clit through my shorts. I glanced up and saw the man kneel before the woman on the cross and pleasure her with his tongue. I felt Trevor throb as he continued to watch. Trevor grunted as the woman climaxed. He sounded like he was about to explode. He let out a ragged breath as he began to rub me harder and faster.
He leaned in and grunted in my ear, “I want you to come, Giavanna.”
The sound of his voice took me over the edge almost instantly. I gasped quietly as I climaxed on his command. He wrapped my fingers more tightly around his cock as I came down. His hips bucked as he continued using my hand to jack himself with increasing fervor. I throbbed for him as I sensed his mounting pleasure. He pumped my hand up and down with more speed and force than I ever could have managed on my own. His body jerked violently as he exploded inside of his pants. I removed my hand from his grasp and wiped it on the sofa. My head was spinning. We had just gotten off in front of a group of strangers, who had just gotten off in front of us. I felt like I needed a shower.
I was lost in thought on the way home. I felt distraught and confused. I was so turned on, watching Trevor get aroused by the sex show, but for some reason I felt guilty about it. Trevor looked relaxed and satisfied despite the fact that his cock was trapped inside a pair of tight wet leather pants. “Trevor, is that a regular thing for you? Do you go to sex shows often?”
He gave me a condescending look. “That wasn’t a sex show, Giavanna. That was a scene party. And yes, I’ve been to both sex shows and scene parties.”
“Oh, do you do it a lot?”
“Not often enough.”
“Oh.” I was surprised by his level of kinkiness.