by Marika Ray
I shouldn't have worried though. Everything heated up late one afternoon when I went to meet Esa at Chocolate Dreams to go for our beach run. We'd just left her shop and were headed down to the parking garage to get the shoes she'd forgotten in her car.
Esa was directly in front of me when a man grabbed her around the waist, pulling her into him. My gaze flew to the knife pressed up against her throat.
There are moments in life that get imprinted in your brain forever, like a photograph that never fades. The look on Esa's face as she stared at me, frozen in terror, was one of those moments.
I'm ashamed to say that I froze too. Even longer than Esa. The guy shouted at me to move back, but I stayed where I was, hands up and palms out in surrender. I wasn't going to try anything with that knife digging into her neck.
I swear, I only blinked and when my eyes opened again, Esa was stomping on his foot and yanking on his hand by her neck. She twisted around, out of his hold, and it was like a switch was flipped in my head. The knife was away from her neck, I could attack without fear of her bleeding out.
I took a step forward and then kicked him in the junk, making sure I kicked hard enough to bring future paternity into question. As he went down, I grabbed his head and jammed my knee into his face. The knife clattered to the ground, but I wasn't done, not by a long shot.
I started kicking him in the ribs, hoping he'd stay down till help arrived. So focused on subduing the asshole, I didn't even notice that Esa wasn't next to me anymore.
It wasn't until I felt steel arms wrap around me and pull me back that I realized help had already arrived.
"You're good, babe. I've got him from here, okay?" a low voice growled in my ear, sending chills up my spine and a sensual clenching down lower. I turned my head to lock gazes with Jack. He was only an inch from my face, staring into my eyes. He gave me a head nod. I gave it back.
He released me and pushed me behind him. Then he was gone, crouching on the ground to cuff the dude's hands behind his back. Esa's bodyguard had held him down when Jack pulled me back.
With everything that just happened, you'd think I'd be in shock over the attack, the fight, the arrest happening before my eyes. But I wasn't.
All I could think about was the feel of Jack's warm body pressed up against me. The way his muscles were strong and sure, holding me back and providing warmth and strength at the same time. I'd felt safe and protected. Wanted and desired.
I felt all of that in three seconds.
I couldn't imagine what I'd feel if he actually held me. Or kissed me. Or took me to bed.
I shook off all the inappropriate scenarios from my mind. Jack was lifting the guy off the ground, efficient cop mode in full effect. If I hadn't heard him call me 'babe' with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed he'd used an endearment.
I spun around and walked over to Esa, drawing both her and Ivan into a group hug. I needed to focus on what was important here. My best friend was alive and well, and so was I.
"We kinda kicked some ass back there, girlie," I said to the top of Esa's head, buried in Ivan's chest.
I heard her muffled laugh and Ivan gave me an appreciative wink. I figured he had to be pretty worried about our girl and if I could get her to laugh that was a good thing right about now. Laughter was always better than unhinged crying jags as far as men were concerned.
Before long, the garage was swarming with officers and lookie-loos. Esa and I gave our statements to various police officers before we could go home. I looked around for Jack but never saw him after he hauled Esa's stalker into the back of his cruiser.
All that ass kicking, then the full-body touching, and not even a 'see you later'. What's a girl gotta do?
4
Past - Jack
I've seen a lot of fucked up shit in my time with the HBPD. You name it, I've seen it, arrested it, or interrogated it. But the cases I hated the most were when innocent women are battered, abused, or raped, simply because they're weaker physically. A real fucking man would never touch a woman in anger or lay a hand on her. Unfortunately, there weren't too many real men out there anymore.
I'd just gotten home from arresting a serial rapist I'd been chasing for several months. He'd gotten to six women before I'd hunted him down. All six haunted me, their photos showing bloodied faces and torn clothing on a constant slideshow in my head.
I got the bastard behind bars. Now I needed to let him and the case go from my brain.
My house was dark, no lights or activity to welcome me home. Just dark rooms with minimal furniture. Not even a goddamn dog to breathe life into the place. While everyone else was out enjoying the last few days of summer, I was inside working on cases, only leaving in time to see the sun had already set. Not for the first time did I wonder if this was how my life was supposed to be lived.
It was nights like these where I craved a woman to fall into and lose myself in. A woman who wrapped me in her arms and blotted out the nightmare of my job. Someone I could talk to about anything, knowing she'd listen and nod her head and then take me to bed to fill my nights with bliss.
Was it too much to ask for a pleasant, agreeable woman to desire me? So far, it seemed it was. I'd dated plenty, finding no shortage of women to fill my bed, but completely lacking in all the other ways. There were the game players, the clingers, the needy ones, the ones with baggage, the loud obnoxious ones. So far? No pleasant ones that could also satisfy me in bed.
Speaking of bed, my mind went to visions of Bailey. In her silky robe, breasts free, nipples hard. In her work attire, dressed like a social elite with all the confidence in the world. In her tight workout pants, kicking some asshole's ass in a parking garage like a total boss woman.
I desired her that's for damn sure. I would even take it further and say I had a soft spot for her that shouldn't be there. Like a sick bastard, I'd enjoyed holding her in my arms when I should have been focused on arresting Esa's attacker.
The problem lay with her personality. She was loud, she was prickly. Funny as hell, but obnoxious. She wouldn't put up with any shit and she surely wouldn't let me run right over her. She'd hold her own and hold my feet to the fire if I didn't pay her enough attention or looked at her wrong. I couldn't see her cooking me dinner or listening patiently while I told her about my day. She'd want to be taken out to dinner and shown a good time. I didn't mind that occasionally, but with my job, that wouldn't happen on the regular.
Plain and simple: she wasn't for me.
I nuked a frozen dinner and sat in front of my television eating the cardboard-like food. I took a swig of my beer and tried to lose myself in yet another reality show with idiots and narcissistic attention seekers.
My phone chirped from somewhere in the cushions. I prayed it wasn't a work case while I dug around to find the phone. I pulled up the text to see it was from Bailey. It was like she had a direct line to my thoughts. How'd she know I was thinking about her?
Bailey: What's with the silent treatment, Detective?
Me: What do you mean?
Bailey: You haven't texted me in weeks...found someone else to put your cuffs on?
She was right. I was totally ignoring her. On purpose. After touching her in the parking garage, I knew I needed to back off. All the not-so-innocent flirting was causing me to care about her. I needed to be the bigger person and put a stop to it. But now that she'd texted me first, I couldn't ignore her. I'd text her tonight and go back to ignoring her tomorrow.
Me: Just been busy. My cuffs only have your name on them.
Bailey: Then what's the hold up, sexy man? Get it? Hold up?
Me: That was a terrible cop joke.
Bailey: The Jack Daniels made me do it.
Me: Are you drunk?
Bailey: Maybe
Me: Are you out somewhere or home?
Bailey: Home. Allll by myself...
Jesus, this woman was killing me. At least she wasn't out at some bar with asshole men around her, waiting to pounce and take advanta
ge of her. I willed myself to put my phone down. I was not going over there. I would not flirt with her. She meant nothing to me.
I took another swig of beer and focused on the argument between two women on the television. Something about one girl sleeping with a guy and the other girl saying they'd slept together first. Trash, total trash.
Bailey: And...the silent treatment begins again...
I looked up, perhaps thinking the ceiling would have the answer for me on what to do with this girl. I wanted her, but I couldn't have her. How did I get her to understand that we'd make each other miserable?
Me: Listen. You're gorgeous, Bailey, and any man would want you, me included. But we'd kill each other within twenty-four hours. I'd rather we both live to see another day. No matter how hard it is to ignore each other.
The bubble on the text screen showed she was typing a reply. I stared at it, hoping I hadn't completely pissed her off, but knowing that might actually be a good thing. The bubble went away and my screen eventually went black.
I didn't know if she was angry or if she agreed with me. Either way, the end result was the same: we were ignoring each other.
Past - Bailey
I woke up the next morning, feeling the ill effects of too much Jack Daniels and dreams of unrequited love. To say I was grumpy would be a drastic understatement.
I rolled out of bed in a rumpled t-shirt and undies, too hung over to bother with shorts. Hopefully Ivan was already out of the house. I looked at the clock and saw it was past ten, which meant I should have the place to myself. I stumbled to the coffeepot and drank my first cup of nectar, the cobwebs pushed back with each caffeine laden sip.
It was halfway into my second cup when I remembered a fleeting conversation from last night. Had I been texting Jack?
I clanked my coffee mug on the countertop and ran out of the kitchen to find my phone. The pounding aggravated my head, but I had to see the damage. I was cringing already, and I hadn't even confirmed it yet.
I swiped and opened my texts, scrolling through quite a few back and forths. I read from the top, gasping out loud at my blatant invitation. He'd turned me down, but his words left the butterflies in my stomach a mess. He said he wanted me, but we weren't good for each other.
And as much as that stung, I had to agree with him. I knew he wasn't the type of man I wanted, but I was still mad that he'd been the mature one in turning me down. Hadn't he ever heard of 'friends with benefits'?
I threw my phone on the bed and stomped back to get my coffee. Fuck. I knew I'd never be able to keep it to a friendship level if I had sex with Jack. I'd want him more than once. Then I'd be doodling his name and planning our wedding. He just seemed like that kind of guy.
And that was completely unacceptable.
Time to save face and be an adult. I would shower, get dressed in my cutest, casual outfit ever and pay Jack a visit. To confirm our plan to ignore each other.
Perfectly reasonable plan.
I walked into the police station, stopping at the front desk to ask for Jack. The man at the desk gave me a once over and then told me to take a seat while he located him. After a few terrifying moments of watching people in handcuffs being brought in and out the front door, the front desk guy called my name.
I jumped out of my seat and followed him through a door and down the long hallway. Lots of curious faces turned to watch my progression through the precinct, making me second-guess my outfit choice for this particular venue. And I didn't like second-guessing myself.
The guy gestured toward a door and told me to give it a knock before entering. He moved back down the hallway and I allowed myself one long breath before knocking quickly. As instructed, I opened the door right after my knock and saw that Jack was seated as his desk with people in his office. Having a meeting. Which I was interrupting.
Jack looked at me blankly and I felt so out of place, I wanted to find a hole in the ground to hide in. I was about to close the door again and slink back down the hallway when I realized the two people seated with Jack were Brinley and her new boy-toy Dean.
Brinley jumped up and rushed over to hug me. "Bailey! What are you doing here? Are you here to see me or Jack?" She looked a bit confused, probably wondering why I was interrupting them.
I looked at Jack in apology before turning to Brinley with a big ol' smile and putting my arm around her. I moved us to the hall saying, "Yes! I came to see you. I wanted to find out when your big game was so I could make sure I got it off work."
I ignored the hole being burned into the back of my head by Jack's gaze as I walked to the front of the station with Brinley. This was so not how this was supposed to go.
Great, now I had multiple things to apologize for.
5
Present - Bailey
It was the weird month of October in southern California. For a fashionista, this was a trying time. Some days shined with the light of a thousand suns, requiring short skirts, tanks and hair done up off the neck to prevent unseemly sweating. Other days had me pulling on my Uggs over leggings and layering my tops so I could strip down a layer at a time as the fog may or may not lift and the sun may or may not shine brightly later in the afternoon.
It was on one of the cooler evenings when Esa called me to fill me in on the issues our girl Hessa was having. Yep, that's right, she had to call me as I'd moved out into my own apartment last month. Ivan had proposed to Esa, and they were planning a spring wedding. I figured it was time to give them their privacy and find space for myself before I became a permanent third wheel.
It was all a bit depressing, really. I felt like we were growing up and instead of playing house, we actually were adults keeping households together and pairing off to build families. Well, Esa, Brinley, and Hessa were, it seemed. I was still solidly single and pretending I was happy with it.
I don't know when the switch happened but sometime over the summer, I'd gone from happily single, flitting around from man to man, to feeling utterly deflated that I hadn't found 'the one'. Maybe it was Esa getting engaged. Maybe it was watching Brinley and Dean fall in love over the summer. Maybe it was currently watching Kai fall all over himself in front of Hessa and seeing her try to ignore it. All I knew was that I was feeling lonely, and no amount of surface level flirting would cure me.
Which brings me around to Jack. We'd been steadfast in our pact of ignoring each other, much to my disappointment. I'd lost my flirting buddy. I saw him here or there around town as we ran in similar circles, but never got more than a head nod from him. My heart would race, my palms would get sweaty, and my insides would clench in anticipation of something. And all I got was a goddamn head nod.
Any who, I've gotten off track here. Esa called me and told me Hessa was having problems with someone online publicly daring her to sing in public, which I knew was a no-go for her. Hell, she wouldn't even sing in front of the Beach Squad girls who were all just chomping at the bit to cheer her on and support her.
I decided that I'd use my online hacking skills for good, yet again. I threw on a scarf type thing, jammed my feet in my boots and off I went to Hessa's. I was just pulling onto her street when a squad car started coming down from the other end. The driver looked suspiciously like Jack.
My first thought was terror at being caught since my intentions at Hessa's were nefarious. I ducked down right as the car passed me, seeing it was in fact Jack, and not at all thinking a headless car driving down the road wouldn't be even more suspicious. Thankfully, when I lifted my head back up to check my rearview mirror, the squad car was turning like nothing had happened.
I gasped in horrified laughter, adrenaline making it seem far funnier than it was. That had been a close one. I parked outside Hessa's house and gave myself a moment. When I had my breathing back to normal, I headed to her front door.
A loud thump came from the other side of the door as I stepped up to it. I wrinkled my nose, confused as to what was happening. Then I heard a giggle and my jaw dropped. It sounded susp
iciously like someone was getting busy up against the door. Seriously? I was surrounded by sex addicts!
Hey, I was all for the sexy times. And I didn't have a problem with voyeurism per se, but enough was enough. Here I was trying to do something nice for her, and I was made to feel like a third wheel again. I was done with that shit.
I rang the doorbell and then banged on the door with my fist. That ought to break up the lovefest. I bit my lip to keep the evil smile from my face.
Long moments passed, which was weird because they were right there. How hard is it to reach out and open the damn door? "You know I can hear you in there, right? Open up, bitches!" I called through the door.
It finally swung open, showing a red-faced Hessa and a smirking Kai. Yeah, I knew exactly what they were doing in there.
I swept into her place, telling Kai not to take offense to me calling him a bitch. Everyone was called a bitch in my world. In my defense, it was actually a term of endearment at this point. I pulled Hessa onto the couch with me and proceeded to lay out my offer.
"I have certain skills. Skills that can help you in your quest to find this person who dared you. I assume Jack hasn't found anything concrete yet?" I was smug, I admit. I knew Jack's computer geeks had to follow certain rules. They couldn't tunnel into anything illegally and then use that evidence in court. Their hands were tied.
And as much as I wanted my hands cuffed by Jack, my hands were most definitely not tied.
"Um no, he was just here and gave me everything they had, which wasn't much." Hessa slid some paperwork off the coffee table and handed it to me.
I flipped through the flimsy pages, confirming what I thought: Jack had diddly squat. I smirked harder, knowing she needed me and I needed her in order to one-up Jack. It was a beautiful relationship of mutual need.
But really, I was doing this to help Hessa. Period. Not to show up Jack. At all.