Jay smiled at Dr. Tongai’s open-mouthed expression. He was obviously still adjusting to the whole concept of half-fae and magic being real.
When Jay finished, the doctor regained his composure. “More magic?”
“Protection. So, we can talk.” Jay pulled a face. “God knows I know you want to talk.” “And you don’t?”
“No.” Jay bit into his chocolate croissant, still warm, sweet and delicious. The coffee here was rich and flavorful too. I had no idea there was such a great all-night coffee house in this part of Harare.”
“I come here a lot.” Jay continued to eat in silence.
“Jay.” The doctor tapped on his cup to get his attention. “Why throw up one of your…what do you call them…half-fae protection spells, if you’re not going to talk to me?”
Jay rolled his eyes. “Because I know you’re going to talk about being ‘a little bit lavender ‘and all that shit, and you could get us attacked. No wonder you were so interested in trying to drag details out of me about Arlan all those years ago.” He frowned and took another bite of the warm pastry.
“No wonder? Because I’m gay, you mean?” Dr. Tongai took a sip of his black coffee, very calm, very cultured.
Jay envied the man that he could be so unruffled now after being called all those vile names and being attacked. It hadn’t fazed the doctor half as much as it should have. He was still a man who was secure in himself, secure in who he was. The doctor said, “You’re suggesting I might be more interested in a client if he were a gay man?”
Jay shrugged. It was exactly what he’d been implying, although it seemed a terribly rude accusation when the doctor put it in words.
Tongai gave a little half smile. “It’s only natural for human beings to be interested in those who have similarities to themselves. I suppose I do take a special interest, have a special fondness for those clients of mine who are gay or bisexual. I’ll make no apologies. Of course, it’s even more rare for clients to expressly come out to me in this country, the laws being what they are.”
“It was the laws that were the last straw for me. The laws that made me do it.” “Do it? You mean the suicide attempt?”
Jay raised his brows in a yes gesture. “My boarding school days were over. My dad was dead, my mother in hospital, and I was expected to go back to a country where the stuff I did with Arlan could get me killed. I was still a kid. I was barely eighteen.”
“And now you’re twenty-one?” Jay shrugged and nodded.
“If I remember correctly, your family expected you to come here when your high schooling was over. You didn’t want to. Your uncle prepaid for sessions with me, but you didn’t show up for the final month of them.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t have to be doing that, for a start. Kind of crazy when Arlan and I inherited so much money I could have paid for my own damn counseling. If I’d wanted any.”
“He’s a good man, Chitavati, and a fine lawyer.”
“Uncle Chit. Yeah.” He took another bite of his croissant. The doctor simply waited. Jay finished his mouthful and sighed. “I was actually going to keep visiting you. I liked you. But once I mentioned Arlan, you kept pushing me. I mean, I knew you wanted me to talk about that some more. I didn’t want to then. And I don’t want to now. Drink your coffee.”
Dr. Tongai took his glasses off and polished them on his shirt. His patience was as irritating as a sore tooth. But the warm chocolate and pastry in Jay’s mouth and the great coffee was starting to put him in a better mood. His headache was receding. He sighed again. “You really want to have a session here, Doc?”
“I didn’t say that. You said it. Are you sure it’s me who wants to talk?”
Jay shook his head in frustration. August’s face flashed in his imagination. He set his croissant down and put his head in his hands. He could use someone to talk to about her.
Dr. Tongai began to sip his coffee. Moonlight shone through the window onto his blue-black skin. “Fine. It was a longtime ago.” Jay shrugged. “I can talk about it. Funny thing is, if I hadn’t admitted
to Uncle Chit that it was a suicide attempt, no one ever would have even known that’s what it was.”
“Hypothermia. You stayed out in the snow outside your boarding school, if I recall correctly? No jacket. You were hospitalized.”
“I hated that school in Christchurch. I hated being different. I hated having to leave school and not knowing what the hell to do with myself. Arlan and I had planned to return to Zimbabwe. Same-sex relationships used to be considered okay here, even fortunate, especially among the Shona. But once those new laws came in…”
“Those laws Mugabe passed about homosexuality?”
“Kissing, handholding, even hugging someone of the same sex are all illegal under Mugabe’s new laws. I couldn’t handle reading about it. It made it all worse.”
“Made all what worse?”
Jay felt his face flush. “Everything. Dad’s death, Mum’s coma, the fact that I was…”
“Gay?”
“I’m not gay.”
Dr. Tongai raised his brows. Jay made himself say the other hated word. “I’m bi.”
The doctor waited. Jay knew it was a shrink’s way, to leave him to do the talking, that he wasn’t necessarily judging. But he felt defensive anyway.
“I am.”
He thought of August. Her sweet smile, the light flush to her cheeks when she was aroused or embarrassed. Her passion for the animals she studied. He admired her. For the first time ever, he’d thought about having a woman as his wife, not because it would make him normal, but because he wanted her. “There’s a woman.”
The doctor remained silent.
“There is a woman. This is not a phase. This is not a stage of pretending to be bi before I ‘come out’. I like women. I want this woman.”
“I see.” Dr. Tongai took another sip of coffee.
Even thinking about August’s smile did crazy things to his pulse. If he’d ever had any doubt that he was bi, August had changed that completely and forever. Embarrassed, Jay shifted to adjust the front of his pants. One thought of August made his cock rigid.
“So, does Arlan know? Have you told him about this woman?”
“Yeah, he knows. He’s okay with it. The problem is, she knows about me and Arlan. She caught us…together.”
“I see.”
“It’s a mess, Doc. I’ve fallen in love with her. She has these soft gray eyes, and she’s super intelligent like you, a PhD. She’s…” He put his face in his hands and mumbled between his fingers. “I get the freak in’ wedding march playing in my head thinking about her. It’s fucking insane.”
“Are you sure that’s not…”
“No. I know what you’re thinking. I know what your type thinks. It’s not about wanting to be straight.”
Tongai’s lips quirked. “You’re making some assumptions about me. Why do you think you’re doing that?”
Jay shrugged.
“So, what have you said to Arlan about this? You said you were still living with him?”
“He’s in love with her too.”
“Oh.”
Jay lifted his face from his hands and laughed. He knew the doctor was being a doctor, trying not to make any judgmental or leading comments, but Tongai was shocked. Jay could see it in his eyes.
“So that’s another problem?”
Jay ran a hand over his head. “That bit’s actually okay. Arlan isn’t mad at me. We’re still friends. It’s just this woman, August. She didn’t know I was involved with Arlan. I kept it from her. She caught us together. It was horrible.”
“So now she’s angry?”
“Yeah, probably…shocked. Disgusted, I guess. I left the house when she caught us. Went to the Mopane Tree.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
Jay shrugged. His stomach felt awful, greasy. “I’ll hang out here with you for a while. Maybe I’ll…” Jay stroked his bristly jaw. It had been way too long since he�
��d had a shave. “Could I stay with you? Stay at your house for a while?”
“Why would you need to stay with me?”
“I just need time to think. If I wasn’t using protection spells, Arlan and I would be in jail by now, living together like we do. I worry, Doc, you know, I don’t think my magic is so good I couldn’t fuck up, leave a gap in the protection spell. And even if it wasn’t illegal, everyone at work would hate me if they knew. You get that? Even August hates me now. I’m sure she does.”
Tongai smiled sympathetically. “I just don’t see that prolonging your confrontation with the two people you have feelings for is going to help you any.”
“I love this woman.” He remembered their last kiss and how it had gone from sweet to sensual to mind blowing.
“So, you break it off with Arlan. Simple.”
“No. No. It’s not… I can’t do that.” Jay put his hands to his head. “You said you never believed the half-fae were anything but kooks. So, you don’t know about the kind of relationships they…we have.”
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind.” Jay finished his coffee. “Fae have a different idea of love and relationships from mortals. It’s just different.”
“Is your friend Arlan a half-fae as well?”
“Actually, only quarter-fae. One grandparent.”
“Does he have magic like you?”
“Yeah. No. Not like me. He has magic, but he can’t control it at all, so he can’t do much with it. It just kind of comes upon him. He’s involved in this stuff… He’s a Warrior of the Light. He has a calling to do good to help people. He’s been fighting some of the witchdoctors in his city.”
“The wealthy ones? I always considered them scam artists.”
“We think they have some magic. They’re getting it from somewhere. Unfortunately, the wealthy ones aren’t helping people with their powers.”
“I see. Well, you have some big issues to work on here.”
“That’s why I asking to stay with you. Just until I get my head sorted.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin from the table. “But forget it.” He threw the napkin down. “I’ll go to a hotel.”
The doctor raised a finger. “One week, Jay. One week you stay with me. Then you go home and face your friends.”
He smiled. He had his debit card in his wallet. Staying away from the mess at home for a week would suit him just fine.
Adrenaline pumped through August’s body, her lungs stung, and her ribs ached from pushing air violently in and out, but she wouldn’t stop running.
With your tiny legs, you better run as fast you can, because she’ll easily catch you. She always catches you.
She’d not had the nerve to check behind her. But that didn’t mean Duvessa hadn’t found some silent way to chase after her. Visions from the past flashed in her mind. A tiny Gus, age six, seven, eight, nine, running, running from her mother, heart slamming in her chest, until she ran into a corner of the mansion and was beaten or lassoed by magic before she could get to the front door.
This time, she’ll kill you. This time, she’ll actually do it.
Panic gripped her belly at the sound of a rustling bush behind her. She had to keep running. She would aim for the river, where her scent might mix with the scents of other creatures.
Yellow grass rippled like waves ahead of her down to the Zambezi. The scent of the river was strong, and the spoor of various animals—hoof prints and paw prints—lay in the mud before her.
Don’t breathe too loud, run, run.
She swore as the low heel of her shoe broke off. Kicking her feet free of them, she kept running. Now prickles stung, making every step like fire.
Ahead, dozens of birds of prey feasted on the carcass of a rhino. August veered sharply to the right, avoiding, the gorging birds that barely reacted to her small form running past them, so intent were they on their meal.
Unlike in New York, the dark of night here fell with the suddenness of a closing curtain.
August grappled in her bag for the small flashlight Kruger had given her. She switched it on as she ran, swiveling the flashlight left and right in search of night creatures whose eyes would glow like reflectors in the bright beam. As scared as she was of her mother, there was no point in ending up being attacked by a wild animal.
Her sight blurred as sweat dripped into her eyes. She lifted her hands to wipe it away and pitched forward into the grass, letting out a scream. Someone had grabbed her ankle.
She tugged again. Her hands went to the turquoise pendant around her neck, clutching its smooth surface. A force compelled her to hold it as tightly as she could.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jay awoke with a flicker of fear in his gut. Moonlight shone against closed eyelids. With a groan, he blinked and stared up at the open window. Finally, he swore and swung himself out of bed, grappling with the floor-to-ceiling mosquito netting. The hairs on his neck began to prickle. His sense of foreboding made him wish he had his nine-millimeter Glock 17, or at least his extendable baton. Why had he brought nothing with him when he left?
Because you were making love before you slammed out of the house, dumbass.
He pulled the shorts he’d left on the floor of Tongai’s spare room back on. The horrible feeling of fear increased. Must be an intruder. He froze and stopped to listen. Crickets and cicadas; the grunt of a hippo mocked him with its deep belly laugh. He pushed the bedroom door open and crept down the thickly carpeted hall.
The door of the doctor’s bedroom was open, and the man was peacefully snoring. Jay peered in on him and smiled. He really was a likable guy, and wise. Jay sighed.
He stood for a while just listening to Tongai’s snores and the other night noises. The irrational, illogical lancet of fear, of foreboding, slid further into his stomach. A sudden sense of claustrophobia came over him, making him desperate to just get outside and into the night.
He flung the front door open and inhaled the sweet, dry night air. He could hear small night creatures skittering across the grass, and the eerie whoop of a hyena. Blood roared in his ears and sweat beaded on his brow. His body became so hot that he pulled his shirt off and threw it on the ground.
Searing pain sliced across Jay’s back. He doubled over, falling onto the grass, gasping. Shock at what was happening had him shivering. The tearing pain came again, and he could barely breathe. The sensation was like a gang of trolls hammering spikes into his joints. His body convulsed again. He let go, slowly allowing his wings to unfurl. He hadn’t done this since he was a child flying with his mother at her urgings. He’d had no need for it. Flying might be fun for full-blooded fae, but the pain of wings coming-out was something most half-fae tried to avoid.
He knew he needed to do this now, though. Some psychic sense had him sure his mates were in trouble.
At first his wings were crinkled and flat. Clenching his teeth against the pain, he bent backward in an acrobatic position to pump blood into them and help them flesh out.
His wings had not come out since childhood. Since before his mother’s coma. He’d flown with her a few times, a rare activity because of the extreme pain it caused half-fae. Looking around, he laughed to see how he’d startled a poor family of baboons.
Fear firing his blood, he began pumping his wings hard, so hard that he powered up into the air, up, up, up, until he was higher than the trees. He remembered being a tiny child beating his little wings against the wind, but now it was the dry season in Zimbabwe, and his flight path was easy.
He followed the faint trail. The trail left by the scent of evil, of dark fae and sinister magic. Instinct told him something or someone had ensnared his mates, and he could smell their magic now. He moved his wings at a faster speed now to fly higher and higher. It was important he get high enough that no pure mortal would see him and get a shock or call the media. They didn’t need that crap. Rather than go through the potential pain of trying to shrink his form as well, he hummed his invisibility spell.
<
br /> Thank God for the full moon. Cold and silver, it soothed the fire in his back and the ache in his wings.
Stronger than the pain in his wings and the fear in his gut was the agony in his soul.
Whatever danger his mates were in now was his fault. The image of August’s shocked face when she caught them kissing flashed in his mind again. He’d been such a goddamned pussy. If he hadn’t run out on them, she’d be safe now from whatever was after her, or had her, safe from whatever it was that every instinct in his body screamed out he had to save her from.
He continued flying until he had a panoramic view of the Zambezi below him, silvered in moonlight.
He’d give anything to hold August again, to inhale her sweet, feminine scent. Whenever he was alone, he could think of nothing but her moans when he and Arlan made love to her, the sweet taste of her passion, the memory of ecstasy on her face. His dick ached, and he swore at the stupidity of getting turned on in this situation.
And now both of his mates were in danger. All his senses howled that they were. But it was August he flew to rescue now. He focused on thoughts of her with all his strength in his quest to find her… He could almost taste her sweet essence on the tip of his tongue. How could he have ever doubted that she was his true mate? And if he had one fated mate, then… They both had to be. It hit him like a blinding flash that he was truly in love with both of them.
Within his mind, he saw another strange light shimmering like fireflies and irresistibly beautiful. This was more than a stray day dream vision. Somewhere on the earth, this strange light was real, and he had to find it.
August tugged and scratched once again at the wire noose that had pulled around her ankle. Her eyes watered with pain and frustration, blurring her vision. Wire cut into the flesh of her ankle, hurting her terribly so she couldn’t think.
Once she was able to see clearly against she noticed a pearly luminescence shining on the grass and on the little stones around her.
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