by Jenika Snow
Tarren smiled. “When did you get so level-headed?” She sniffed, straightened from the toilet, and looked at the stick on the counter. She picked it up, knowing she wasn’t going to tell Lucas until she was one hundred percent. She’d go to the free clinic in River Run and get it confirmed before she said anything to anyone. “You can’t say anything until I know for sure, okay?”
Tawny nodded, stood as well, and gave Tarren a hug. “You know I’m here for you, too. I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a baby, but we can work through it together.” Tawny pulled back and wiped the tears off of Tarren’s cheeks. “Daddy and Mom will be there for you, as will the entire Grizzly family, and of course the baby daddy.” Tawny grinned, and Tarren started chuckling.
“God, I’m going to have a little Grizzly on my hands.” Tarren could picture a little Lucas, or hell, even a little her running around. They were both wild.
“Yeah, you two are in for one hell of a ride, that’s for sure.” Tawny grinned, and Tarren elbowed her in the ribs. “Ouch.” Tawny rubbed her side. “Come on, let’s go get take-out, and watch stupid love stories on TV.”
Right now that sounded like heaven. Tarren knew the road ahead of her would definitely be bumpy, but she knew Tawny was right…Lucas and the rest of The Grizzly MC would be there no matter what. They were a family after all.
****
As much as Tarren wanted to tell Lucas right away, she didn’t want to have him stressed out and then both of them realize it had been a false positive test.
She sat in the waiting room and twisted her hands together. Fortunately there were only a few people waiting as well, but she was too anxious to concern herself with anyone else. She pushed her worries aside, rested her hands flat on her thighs, and stared at the couple in front of her. The couple couldn’t be more than her age, early twenties, maybe late teens, but the guy was doting on the woman, rubbing her very round belly, and whispering something in her ear that had the girl giggling.
“Miss Stoker?”
Tarren looked up, her heart in her throat. “I’m here.” An older woman holding a clipboard and wearing these bright neon green glasses stared at her. Tarren grabbed her purse, stood on shaky legs, and wiped her sweaty hands on her thighs. She followed the nurse to the back, was weighed and her height was measured, and then she was in an exam room. She sat there now wearing a paper-thin gown, the crinkling sound filling her ears. The pictures of a woman in different gestational months were plastered on the wall in front of her.
All she could think about was Lucas, telling her mom and dad, and what the outcome would be when it was all said and done. There was a knock on the door, and then the doctor pushed it open and stepped inside.
“Miss Stoker, I’m Dr. Yen.” The doctor held her hand out and smiled softly, and for some reason Tarren felt a little at ease. They went through the general stuff, family history, menstruation cycle, and then she was leaving and coming in with a portable ultrasound machine.
“Now, just lie back, place your feet on the stirrups, and relax.” After she was in position, a nurse came in, shut the light off, and the silence stretched in the room. Tarren closed her eyes when the doctor took an internal ultrasound, and the only thing she could hear was her heart beating.
“Miss Stoker, do you want to see your baby?”
She opened her eyes, stared at the screen, but at first couldn’t see anything.
“Right here is your baby’s heart.” The doctor pointed to the tiny flickering in the center of the screen. “Would you like to hear it?”
Tarren tore her gaze from the screen and looked at the doctor. She smiled and nodded, and a second later the sound of her baby’s heart beating filled the room. It was a fast whooshing noise, and she felt herself start to tear up.
“I’m going to measure your baby’s body, check the placement of organs, and see about a due date.” More clicking and tapping from the doctor on the machine, and then there was the sound of papers printing. “This is the face, and right here is the heart.”
Tarren’s baby didn’t look much like a baby at all. She could make out the arms and legs, but she couldn’t see hands, feet, toes, or fingers. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It was like at that very moment nothing else mattered. She wished Lucas was here to see it, but it was her own fault for not telling him just yet. They would have another time to experience this together. The thought of bringing Lucas with her to see their baby and find out the sex thrilled her.
The doctor handed her a few thin pieces of paper. “Well, looks like you are right on schedule. You’re set to deliver in May.”
The doctor printed off a few pictures, handed them to Tarren, and then told her the month and estimated day she’d have the baby. She left the doctor’s office feeling stunned, thrilled, and scared as hell. Now all she had to do was tell Lucas, and her family.
For some reason that seemed like the scariest part of all.
****
Lucas sat at Tarren’s small kitchen table, stared at the three ultrasound pictures in front of him, and couldn’t even process what he was looking at.
“Lucas, please say something.” Tarren said, her hands on the tabletop and her fingers twisted together almost painfully.
He lifted his head, stared at her with what he knew were wide eyes and a stunned expression, and then stared at the pictures again. That was his baby right there. It was a tiny, bean shaped thing, but his nonetheless. “I don’t know what to say, Tarren.” And he didn’t. This shit was surreal. He had never thought he’d have an old lady, let alone any kids. He looked at Tarren again, swallowed the lump in his throat, and picked up one of the ultrasound photos. It was black and white, hard to really make out, but his heart started beating a little faster at the thought this was his. His.
He stared at Tarren, his female, his old lady, and anticipation, excitement, and love filled him. He couldn’t help it. He stood, walked over to her, and hauled her out of the seat. She was watching him with wide eyes, her lips parted, and probably thinking he was about to flip the fuck out.
“Lucas, please say something.” Her voice was soft. “You’re kind of freaking me out.” There was a slight waver in the way she spoke, and then he broke out in a grin, pulled her in close, and kissed the top of her head.
“We’re going to have a baby, Tarren.” He pulled back, held onto her arms, and probably looked like he had lost his mind. He felt high, a little frightened, sure, but this was meant to happen. He had his woman, and soon she’d deliver his baby.
“You’re happy? This doesn’t freak you out?” Her eyes were still wide, and he leaned down and kissed her softly. “Because I’m freaking out here, Lucas.”
He chuckled softly. “Baby, I’m freaking out, too, but I am so happy.” And then he thought about all the shit they’d have to deal with through all of this. “I’m mainly worried about your dad breaking my face when he finds out.”
Now she started chuckling. “I won’t let him mess up that good looking face.”
He grinned. “Either way it’ll be worth it. Fuck, will it be worth it, Tarren.”
Chapter Thirteen
Alexis and Nico’s wedding
Tarren was still reeling from the fact she was pregnant. She smoothed her sweaty palms down her dress, cursed that she was messing up her bridesmaid’s gown, and moved toward the tent where Alexis was getting ready. Walking inside she saw Alexis staring at herself in the mirror.
“You look lovely, Alexis,” Tarren said and moved up right behind her. And she did, so damn beautiful that it made Tarren long for a wedding of her own.
“Thank you, but I’m scared shitless.” Alexis made this awkward laugh. Her friend hadn’t gone for the typical white dress, but then again this wasn’t a typical wedding, but a Grizzly MC outlaw wedding.
“I’m sure everyone is, girl.” Tarren tried to make light of the situation, not to show that she was freaking out about her own issues, but it was damn hard. Tarren moved away and lo
oked at Alexis’s back. “But the dress is beautiful, the wedding and reception will go off without drama—”
“You might have spoken too soon on that.” They both started laughing.
“Okay, you’re right, but it will go off with minimal drama. I mean there are so many bikers out there waiting to see you marry Nico that it isn’t even funny. If someone wanted to screw with you on your day they’d be the stupidest asshole around.” She swallowed, feeling her hands sweat even further, and not able to stop them from shaking.
Alexis nodded, looking scared, but holding it together remarkably well. She turned around to see the back of the dress, moved the long fall of hair over one shoulder, and stared at herself. Tarren looked at her best friend’s reflection. The dress really was gorgeous, with a white silk bow that was tied delicately right under her shoulder blades.
“I just need to get past my nerves trying to take over. I am dreading walking down the aisle and everyone staring at me.”
Tarren smiled at their reflections. “Hey, you’ll have a veil covering your face, so just close your eyes and let your dad lead the way.” Her heart was beating fast, her nerves were shot, and she knew that she shouldn’t tell Alexis right now what the hell was going on, but that she had to get it off her chest and tell someone.
The look on Alexis’s face told Tarren that she hadn’t hidden her emotions well enough.
“Tarren, what’s wrong?”
And then like a damn freak Tarren started to grow teary eyed. Damn it. Stop acting like this, suck it up, and realize this is your life now. The rest of the bridesmaids that were getting ready stopped what they were during and stared at them. Fortunately they left without being prompted to, because Tarren couldn’t handle an audience right now.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Alexis gestured for Tarren to sit on one of the chairs by the vanities.
Shit, Tarren was bawling like a damn baby right now. She wiped her tears and cursed out. “I’m fucking up my make-up, dammit.” She gave a watery laugh and looked up at Alexis.
Alexis grabbed a tissue and smoothed it under her eyes. “All better. Now, tell me what’s wrong.” Alexis grabbed one of the chairs off to the side and sat in front of Tarren. “Tell me.”
Tarren tried to compose herself enough before she continued. She sighed and wiped the rest of the wetness off her cheeks. “I’m just hormonal and bloated, and feel so lost at the moment.”
Alexis gave her a sympathetic look. “Oh, Tarren.” Alexis reached out and took her hand. “You got your period?” Alexis said in a teasing tone.
Tarren could have laughed at that.
“It isn’t that bitch Red again, is it? ‘Cause I’ll tell you, I’m not above ripping out her cheap hair extensions on my wedding day.”
Tarren smiled and shook her head. She hadn’t even told Alexis that she had bitch-slapped the skank, and was surprised none of the other guys had opened their mouths and said something. “No, that tramp would have to be the dumbest bitch alive if she came back to the clubhouse after I kicked her ass, and after she was thrown out by The Grizzlies and Lucas.” She sat up straighter and stared right at Alexis. “I’m feeling fat and hormonal, and crying for no damn reason because…” Tarren took a deep, steadying breath. “I’m pregnant.” It was like the damn world stopped as she stared at Alexis, waiting for her friend to say something.
“You and Lucas are going to have a baby?” There was clear surprise in Alexis’s voice.
Tarren nodded. “Yeah, crazy shit, huh?” But she didn’t wait for Alexis to say something before she started speaking again. “I found out last week, and made an appointment with the doctor when it had settled in. I wanted to make sure it was real before I started announcing it, and that’s why I didn’t tell you right way.”
Alexis had wide eyes. “Well …wow, Tarren. Congrats?”
Tarren found herself smiling. “Yes, I’m happy. I mean I was so damn scared at first, worried about what everyone would say, and what Lucas would say.” She closed her eyes for a moment and then exhaled. “I didn’t know if I could be a mom at twenty-three. But I told Lucas, and he was happy.”
“I am so happy for you, Tarren, and you’ll be a fantastic, kick-ass mom.”
Tarren found herself laughing at that thought. Her. A mom. Alexis stood, and they were embraced in a hug seconds later.
“No more crying or we won’t be able to fix your make-up in time.”
Tarren smiled, and then started laughing. She was happy. “I know, and I don’t want to be the chick wearing this gorgeous dress with raccoon eyes walking down the aisle.”
Alexis smiled back at her, and then pulled her in for a hug again. Tarren closed her eyes, needing this hug right now because she had felt so off balance since finding out.
“Have you told your parents yet?”
God, no. “Are you kidding? My dad will flip for sure.”
“I think your dad might be a little more accepting than you even realize.”
Yeah, she was probably right, but still, telling Dallas Stoker that she was pregnant seemed like a massive feat all by itself. “I hope, and I kind of think he might be. He loves children, and a grandchild?” She felt her smile widen. “Yeah, I think he might not have an aneurysm when I tell him.”
“Tarren, Alexis, it’s time to start,” Molly said and poked her head through the opening in the tent and smiled. “You ready?” Molly asked.
“As ready as I will ever be I guess.”
They hugged once more, and then Tarren was following her out of the tent and to watch Alexis get hitched.
****
The Reception
Lucas held Tarren close, wrapped his arms fully around her, and inhaled deeply. His female was going to have his baby. He said those words over and over again, thinking about when she had showed him the picture just a short time ago, and not being able to let those images leave his mind. It was a life-changing event for sure, but he was ready. If it was with Tarren he was ready for anything. The song moved onto another slow one, and he swayed with her to the music. He wasn’t a dancer, not at all, but when she had looked up at him and asked him to take her to the dance floor, he wasn’t about to deny his female.
And here he was, holding his woman, feeling her curves through the gorgeous fucking dress she had on, the one she made impossibly more beautiful because she wore it. He felt like a sick fuck because all he wanted to do was take her to a secluded spot and fuck her. She’d get curvier, too, as the pregnancy progressed, and he couldn’t wait.
“You keep smelling me,” she said with a smile in her voice.
“I can’t help it. You smell incredible.” He inhaled again, just for the hell of it, and pulled her closer. He was getting hard, God, was he getting hard for her.
“Lucas,” she said on a breath, and pressed against his hard-on.
He groaned. “You can’t do that, baby, because I’m going to be liable to take you to the lake, press you up against a tree, and fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk to the reception.”
She gasped out, but it was so low only he heard. “You are so bad.”
“Yeah I am, but you love that about me.”
She pulled back enough to look at his face and smiled. “I do love you, Lucas Landon.” She rose on her toes and kissed him on the lips, and then rested her head on his chest again.
“And I love you, baby.” God, did he love her, and he’d prove to her until he stopped breathing that he was worth being in her life.
Epilogue
Baby time
Lucas was in pain just watching Tarren in labor. He wanted to be the one to make her feel better, but it was a no go on this occasion.
“Oh God, Lucas. I hate you for doing this to me,” she said, but he knew she didn’t mean it, because only a second later she grabbed his hand and held on tightly to it.
“You’re doing so well, Tarren baby.” He brought their conjoined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. He looked back at where the doctor was gettin
g ready to deliver their baby. They had gone to the ultrasound four months back, but decided on waiting to see what the sex was. Lucas was never one for surprises, but he figured they would find out eventually. This baby came into their lives as a surprise, and he thought it fitting he or she came into this world the same way.
A light sheen was on Tarren’s forehead, and he pushed the strands of her blonde hair away. She tightened her hand, and he knew she was having another contraction.
“You’re doing so well, Tarren.”
“Lucas, you ready to see your baby born?” the doctor said.
He leaned to the side to watch as their baby came into this world. The whole Grizzly crew was waiting out in the other room to hear the good news on whether they had a boy or girl. His heart was near to bursting through his chest with anticipation and excitement. And then he saw the head, covered in a thatch of dark hair, just like his. He couldn’t help but smile.
“One more push and your baby will be here, Tarren,” the doctor said. The beeping monitors filled the room, but they weren’t as loud as his pounding heart. He tightened his hold on Tarren’s hand.
“Tarren, watch as you have your baby,” the doctor said, and Tarren pushed herself up. He helped her so he was holding up her upper body, and then a shrill cry left tiny pink lips, and their baby was being put on Tarren’s belly.
“It’s a little girl.”
He heard Tarren crying, and Lucas couldn’t help it. His eyes started watering as well.
After their little girl was cleaned up and Tarren was resting comfortably and holding her, Lucas smoothed his finger along her tiny brow.
“Little Lola Landon,” Tarren whispered and leaned down and kissed their daughter on the forehead. “She looks like you, Lucas.”
Yeah, she did. “She’ll grow out of that.” He smiled when Tarren started chuckling. Lucas took out his cell and snapped a few pictures for the crew waiting outside.
“Your family can come in two at a time, Tarren,” the nurse said and smiled. She left them alone, and he took a picture of Tarren and the baby together.