“I’m going to sit outside.”
Morin looked up from his computer. “Why? Something’s wrong?”
“No, I just need to make a phone call.”
Morin smiled. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Sure.”
Nysys stepped outside Morin’s office and ignored the glance Morin’s assistant gave him. He didn’t like him much, but Nysys was used to that. He flopped down on one of the couches in the small waiting area and kicked his flip-flops off, then folded his legs under his ass. He smirked at the assistant’s annoyed huff. He knew the man wouldn’t dare tell him anything, not after Morin had plainly told him that Nysys was welcome in his office and that he should be made as comfortable as possible.
Nysys still couldn’t believe the way Morin behaved. He’d given Nysys free rein in his house and in his office. After the one time he’d basically said Nysys wasn’t normal right after they’d met, Morin had made a point of always complimenting Nysys’ clothes, as if they didn’t annoy him. It made Nysys feel welcome and... liked. It made him want to shuck his bright, colorful shell for the first time since he’d created it, to show his mate what was hidden under it.
Sighing, Nysys took his phone out and thumbed through the directory. He didn’t know who to call. He had friends in the pride, but he wasn’t sure who would be impartial about his situation. Keenan would tell him to tell Morin everything, mate with him and have his happy-ever-after. Jayden would go on and on about some research he’d done on human-Nix matings or something like that.
Nysys settled on a number and pressed call.
“Yes?”
“Uh, hi. It’s Nysys.”
Nysys could almost hear the smile in Ani’s voice. “I know. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound so sure.”
“It’s... complicated.”
Ani chuckled. “What isn’t? Do you want to talk about it?”
Ani sounded so sure of himself, so happy. Nysys had met him just after Ani had mated with Dominic, and the difference in the Nix was astounding. Gone was the shy, scared guy. In his place stood a confident Ani, someone who had learned to trust his mate, who had broken down his shell and come out stronger. Dominic had been there to support him, but Ani had done most of the work, and now he was a real alpha mate. He took care of the pride members, helped his mate with both the pride and the council, and was a good friend. Nysys knew he could trust the man to help him as well as he could and to keep his secret.
“Nysys?”
“Sorry. I’m here. I was just thinking.”
“You know you can tell me.”
“Yeah. How... how did you know you could trust Dominic?”
Bless Ani’s little heart, he didn’t even ask why Nysys was asking that particular question. “I didn’t.”
“But you decided to mate with him.”
“I didn’t know I could really trust him, though. You never can. It’s a leap of faith. You have to decide you want to trust.”
“How do you do that?”
“I don’t know your story, or who you’re talking about, but I can image at least the first one. If it was anything like mine, I know it’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to happen fast. It took me months to realize Dominic would never hurt me and almost as long to decide I could trust him.”
Nysys knew Ani was right, but was it wrong of him to want to hasten the process? Morin would be long gone in a few months, once the killer was gone and the company was sold. “What if I can’t trust him? What if I lose him for that?”
Ani hesitated. “Who are you talking about, Nysys?”
“My mate.” There, he’d said it.
“Since you’ve been with Morin Glass for the past three weeks, I’m going to assume he’s your mate. Am I wrong?”
“No,” Nysys whispered.
“I don’t know him yet, so tell me. How is he?”
“He’s... incredible. Nice. Always nice. He’s never tried to hurt me, or yelled at me. He’s never said anything bad about my clothes or my hair.” Nysys chuckled. “He didn’t yell even when I blew up his microwave. He’s barely gone to work in past few weeks. He took me sight-seeing and to the zoo. He always tries to touch me in some way, but without pushing me. It’s always light, like a hand on my back, or on my arm. He takes my hand and doesn’t care about what people have to say about it.”
“Does he know he’s your mate?”
“No. I didn’t tell him.”
“Because you don’t know if you could trust him.”
“Yeah.”
“So what do you think?”
“I want to trust him, I really do, but every time I think I’m ready to, doubts come back. What if he’s just waiting for that to start hurting me? What if he’s more similar to his father than he seems to be?”
“If you do decide to give him your trust and it turns out to be a bad decision, you know you can always count on us. On me. The pride is your home.”
Nysys suppressed the sob that rose in his chest. “I know, but thanks for telling me. I needed to hear that.”
“Did anything happen with him?”
“He... kissed me a few times, but I pushed him away.”
“Are you going to go farther?”
“I don’t know. I want to say no because I’m scared, but I don’t know how I’ll react. I don’t know anything right now.”
“And it’s okay not to. You don’t have to hurry this up, and if he’s as good as you say he is, he’ll wait for you.”
“Nysys? I’m done.”
Nysys looked up to see Morin standing not far from him, smiling down at him. He nodded and said, “I’ll be right there.” Morin nodded back and walked into his office again.
“Ani, I have to go.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m curious to meet your mate.”
“Could you not tell anyone? Not even Dominic?”
“Of course. This is between you and me, don’t worry.”
Nysys’ heart was just a bit lighter when he hung up and followed Morin into his office.
* * * *
“Is Chinese takeaway okay with you?” Morin asked Nysys. Nysys nodded without even looking his way and Morin sighed. He didn’t know what else he could do to make the man trust him. Today was even worse. Morin didn’t know who Nysys had called that morning, but ever since, he’d been closed off and silent.
Morin placed their order and hung up. Nysys was still sitting on the couch, his eyes riveted on the window, his arms around his legs, hugging them close to his chest. It was obvious that something was troubling him, so Morin sat next to him on the couch. When Nysys didn’t react, he reached out and touched one of the man’s knees.
Nysys startled and scrambled backward, his eyes huge and full of fear. Morin held his hands up, hoping it would be enough to make Nysys understand he wasn’t trying to hurt him. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Nysys nodded and pressed his palm over his chest. His hand was trembling, and when Morin looked down he saw that the other one was, too. He slowly reached for it, his focus on Nysys’ face to check he wasn’t scaring him even more. Nysys still looked scared, but he didn’t move away. Morin took his hand in both of his and stroked his thumb over the smooth skin. “What’s wrong?” he murmured, hoping not to scare the man he’d come to like so much.
“Nothing.”
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost, hon?”
Nysys shook his head. “I can’t...”
Morin raised his hand and kissed Nysys’. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I hope you know I’m there if you want to talk.”
“Why?”
Morin gave Nysys a small smile. “Because I like you, Nysys. But you already knew that.”
“How can you like me?”
“How can I not? You’re smart, full of life, gentle and nice. Not to mentio
n so very pretty.”
Nysys blushed and Morin relished the reaction. That was what he’d been looking for, and it was working. Nysys’ tension slowly relaxed as they talked.
“But I’m weird. I’m no good.”
“I won’t deny you’re one of a kind, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I like it, hon. I like your hair, your tattoos, your piercings. Even your clothes.”
Nysys chuckled. “No one likes my clothes, not even me.”
“Why do you wear them, then?”
Nysys hesitated. He stayed silent for a few moments, then tugged on Morin’s hands with his. Morin let Nysys guide him without protesting, knowing the man had to feel comfortable before he started to talk. Morin didn’t know what Nysys was going to tell him, but it was obvious it wouldn’t be something nice.
Nysys pushed him against the back of the couch and Morin followed his lead. He reclined and watched as Nysys laid down and put his head on Morin’s lap, his face turned toward the rest of the room rather than toward Morin. Nysys grabbed one of Morin’s hands and held it close to his chest while Morin put the other one on the couch next to his own leg. Then he waited.
“My childhood wasn’t bad. It was harsh, but that’s the Nix way. I was used to the cold and not having much to eat, so it was okay. Everything changed when I grew up. It, well, when it became obvious I wasn’t as manly as I should have been. I don’t know if you know this, but the paranormal world is still very traditional and doesn’t look kindly to homosexuality, or even to black people. Things are changing, but ten years ago they were still pretty bad. I knew I liked boys—that I had no interest in girls, and I paid for that.”
Nysys took a deep breath and Morin felt his grip tighten around his hand. He gently touched Nysys’ hair with his free hand, ready to move it away if Nysys reacted badly. When he didn’t, Morin started stroking his hair, hoping it would help him.
“I wasn’t raped or anything like that, not like Ani or Aeron. I guess I had it easy. They just beat me.”
Morin worked through the impulse to start raving at whoever had hurt the sweet man leaning against him before telling him, “You can’t compare your pain to someone else’s, hon. What happened to your friends is terrible, but it doesn’t mean that what happened to you isn’t.”
“I just had to survive the beatings and the bullying.”
“No one helped you?”
Nysys shook his head, his hair tickling the palm of Morin’s hand. “No. My mother died when I was fifteen, but even before, she didn’t help. She couldn’t. No one could. Rebelling would have meant being kicked out of the tribe, and that’s all they knew. They helped me as well as they could, healing me after the beatings, but not so much that our leader would get angry. I still hoped someone else would notice and do something, but they all looked the other way.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault. That’s why I started dressing like this and doing all the other stuff. In part, it was because I hoped people would notice me and what was happening more easily.”
“What about the other part?”
“Once I realized I was going to get beaten anyway, I decided I wanted to know when it would happen. Every time the tribe leader looked at me he got angry because I was so different. He hit me, like I knew he would.”
“It gave you some control over what was happening.”
“Exactly.”
Now Morin understood why Nysys was keeping him at arm’s length most of the time. He was scared Morin would hurt him. “But now you live in Whitedell. Why are you still...” Morin didn’t know how to phrase the question he wanted to ask, but Nysys didn’t need him to.
“Why do I still dress like this? Because it’s easier. Because it makes me feel safe. The clothes, the hair, they’ve become a shield I put around me. People see me and think I’m weird, then they get to know me and they think I’m even weirder, that I’m a goofball. I’m just scared most of the time. I’m afraid Dominic will realize I’m not worth it and kick me out, that I’ll lose my friends.” Nysys shrugged. “It’s easier to hide all that under my shell.”
Morin didn’t add anything. There was nothing more to say to what Nysys had just confessed. They stayed silent for a while, Nysys still clutching at Morin’s hand, Morin still gently stroking the pink hair under his fingertips. He wished they could’ve stayed like that forever, but their dinner arrived.
The doorbell rang and Nysys sat up. Morin gave him an apologetic smile and got up. He walked to the door and opened it, not really paying attention. His mind was still on what Nysys had told him but he wished he’d been more careful when a hand shot toward his face and grabbed his neck, then swirled him around. He landed back to chest against his attacker and the air whooshed out of his lungs.
The pressure on his neck made it hard to breathe as the man behind him pushed Morin inside the house and slammed the door shut. Morin clawed at the arm around his neck with both hands, but the guy seemed to be resistant to pain. The only result Morin got was that the killer tightened his hold.
“Morin?”
Fear flooded Morin. Nysys couldn’t come there. He’d be hurt, and Morin couldn’t allow that. He tried to yell, to tell him to stay back, but to no avail. Nysys walked into the hallway from the living room and froze.
The killer raised his free hand and pointed a gun at Nysys and Morin thrashed in the man’s hold. He wasn’t able to break it right away, then the few self-defense lessons he’d taken in college kicked in. He elbowed the guy behind him as hard as he could and heard him yelp. The hold on his throat loosened for only a few seconds, but it was enough for Morin to get free.
Before he could get to Nysys, he disappeared. Morin felt instantly relieved, even if he didn’t know where Nysys had gone. He turned around to face his attacker, but the man was gone.
Morin swung around, but he was alone in the hallway. “Nysys? Nysys!”
“I’m here.”
Morin turned around, and sure enough, Nysys was standing close to him, leaning against the wall and breathing hard. Morin dove toward him and swept him up in a hug, his heart still beating like crazy at the thought of losing him. “What happened?”
“I shimmered him away.”
“Where?” Morin asked, his face buried into Nysys’ silky hair.
“Sahara desert.”
“Sahara... you’re incredible, you know that?”
Morin leaned away but didn’t let Nysys go. He looked down, hating how fear and worry were still etched on the man’s face and wanting to take it away. He leaned down and pressed their lips together, needing the contact and hoping Nysys wouldn’t push him away. He didn’t.
Nysys’ arms rose and looped around Morin’s shoulders. He clung to them, trying to get even closer than they already were, even if it was impossible.
They were both breathing hard when they separated. Nysys’ pupils were blown, his lips were swollen and reddened, and he’d never looked so good. Morin wanted nothing more than to take him to his bed and spend the rest of the night making love to him, reassuring him that everything would be fine, that they’d always be together.
It must have shown on his face, in his eyes, because Nysys cupped one of his cheeks and murmured, “I want that too, but I have to tell you something first. Once you’ve heard it, if you still want me... I’ll be yours.”
* * * *
Nysys had never been so scared, not when he’d been beaten, not even when someone had shot at Morin the other week. Never. Seeing the masked man with his arm around Morin and a gun in his hand had probably been the worse experience in his entire life.
It had made him realize he had to be honest with Morin. He’d told him the story of his life, but he’d left one crucial detail out of the conversation, and it was the most important one. Nysys had to tell him before they went any further, because he knew he was going to claim Morin when and if they had sex. He wanted Morin to know what it entailed, and he wanted to give the man
the opportunity to refuse. Better before than after the fact anyway.
“You can tell me anything.”
“I... I’m scared you’ll run away.”
Morin chuckled and pressed their foreheads together. “It can’t be that bad.”
“I don’t think it’s bad, well, I guess it depends. It’s mostly a life-changing thing.”
Morin kissed the tip of Nysys’ nose. “Do you want to sit down?”
Nysys shook his head and closed his eyes. “How much do you know about shifters, or Nix for that matter?”
“Just what I found in my father’s files.”
“Do you know about mates?”
“Yes. My father had extensive research done on that.”
“What do you think about it?”
Morin frowned and Nysys waited for him to say he didn’t want a mate.
“I’ve never really thought about it. I’m human anyway.”
“You could be a shifter’s mate.”
“I guess I could.” Morin leaned away and their gazes locked with each other’s. “Nix have mates.”
Nysys couldn’t do anything but nod. He looked down as he did, scared of looking into his mate’s eye’s and seeing refusal, disgust, or even pity.
“So... you have a mate.”
Nysys nodded again. He knew his voice would betray his emotional state, so he didn’t dare talk aloud.
“Are you trying to tell me I’m your mate?”
Nysys nodded for the third time and held his breath. Fingers slipped under his chin and tilted his head up. He was forced to look at Morin and he bit his lower lip in anticipation. When their gazes finally met again, there were none of the emotions Nysys had expected in them.
Morin smiled softly and kissed him chastely, just a press of the lips. “Is that why you’ve tried to keep some distance between us since you got here?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to be disappointed when you pushed me away.”
“Who said I was going to push you away?”
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