A grand passion.
A grand madness.
“I should like nothing better, Sir Nicholas,” she said softly.
“Well, I daresay I can’t hear a blasted word,” one of her cousins muttered somewhere in the distance. “What are they saying?”
“I have no idea,” someone else murmured. “But from their expressions, I’d wager it’s good.”
He grinned down at her and she laughed up at him, not really caring at the moment what anyone else thought at all. “Until tonight then,” he said quietly, released her hand, and turned toward her mother. “I should be off, Your Grace.”
“You will not be joining us then?” A twinkle lurked in her mother’s eye. “For tea, that is.”
Nicholas shook his head. “I think not. Frankly, this is rather a formidable gathering, and I should feel much like a wolf in a herd of lambs.”
“Nicholas, you are a delight,” Mother laughed. “The fact of the matter is, in this gathering, it is the wolf who should have fear of the lambs.”
He grinned that disarming grin of his. “Precisely my meaning, ma’am.” He turned toward the assembly, the ladies hanging on his every word, and swept an impressive bow. “Ladies, felicitations of the season. I wish you all the merriest of Christmases.”
“We will see you at the Effington Christmas Ball, will we not?” Mother said.
“I would not miss it for the world. Good day, Your Grace.” He nodded at Elizabeth. “Lady Langley.”
“Sir Nicholas,” Elizabeth said with a cool nod of her own that belied the fluttering within her brought on, no doubt, by the acceptance of her own feelings and the anticipation of what was to come. Tonight and every night thereafter.
He strode out of the parlor, her gaze, and that of every lady present, following him until he disappeared from sight. As if on cue, his exit prompted an immediate upsurge in eager female voices all intent on describing and praising the charms, the thoughtfulness, and the appearance of Sir Nicholas.
“I wonder who assisted him,” Jules murmured from somewhere behind Elizabeth.
“No doubt the people at Fortnum and Mason,” Mother said. “Although it scarcely matters. The important thing to note is that he came to Elizabeth’s aid. It speaks well of the man.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Elizabeth said softly, still gazing unseeing at the door.
“You do realize you and Charles never argued,” Mother said thoughtfully.
Jules snorted. “While you and Nicholas argue constantly.”
“I think it’s something to consider.” The duchess paused for a moment. “And I think it’s quite significant.”
“You’re absolutely right, and I should do something about that.” Elizabeth turned to her mother and sister with a brilliant smile that seemed to emanate from somewhere deep inside her. From her heart, or perhaps her soul.
“Indeed, I would be a fool if I failed to snatch him up right now and drag him to the altar.”
Chapter 16
Nick leaned back in the chair behind his desk and stared unseeing at the library door.
What in the hell was he supposed to do about this?
He drummed his fingers absently on the desktop. Elizabeth professed to want honesty between them, yet honesty was a vague and elusive thing, much given to individual interpretation. How much honesty did she really want? Was this something she needed to know? Besides, it was all over and done with, and firmly in the past. Wouldn’t any revelation of the truth at this point in time simply hurt her, perhaps deeply?
Still, could he—in all good conscience and the interest of honesty—keep this from her? If they were to have a life together, and that had been his intention all along, shouldn’t it indeed be based on honesty? Shouldn’t they begin their future without secrets between them? Especially secrets of this magnitude.
He glanced at the Viennese clock on the mantel. Usually the automata in the base of the time-piece depicting a cobbler’s workshop, the cobbler and his apprentice moving in consort with the clock movement, brought a smile but this evening he was only concerned with time. It was just past seven. He had more than an hour until Elizabeth’s arrival. Plenty of time to dress for dinner. No time at all to come up with an answer.
Damnation. There didn’t seem to be an answer. Not a good one, at any rate. Nick blew a long, frustrated breath. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this unsure about anything. It was this pesky business of being in love, no doubt. It fogged a man’s mind and destroyed any possibility of rational thought.
He didn’t know how on earth he could tell her, but he knew full well that if he held his tongue and she found out, she would never understand that his only interest had been in protecting her. And she might never forgive him.
He stared at the cobbler’s workshop, the apprentice’s hammer striking off the seconds on the sole of a shoe. One…two…three…
He should definitely tell her. There was simply no need to tell her today. His mood brightened. Or even tomorrow, for that matter. He smiled at the apprentice. Why not wait until they had shared five years of wedded bliss together? Or better yet—ten. Even twenty. That would put it all nicely in perspective. Why, there was a very good chance that with the passage of a great deal of time she would find his revelation no more than mildly interesting.
A sharp rap sounded at the library door, followed almost at once by Edwards.
“Beg pardon, sir, but Lady Langley is here.”
“Already?” Nick got to his feet. Her timing was decidedly fortuitous. A few minutes earlier and it would have been most awkward indeed. Even so…
He grinned. Elizabeth’s early arrival might well mean that she was so eager to see him she could barely wait for her guests to depart. Certainly he wanted nothing more than to be with her. To take her into his arms. To accept her gratitude, graciously of course, for the success of her tea in whatever manner she wished to express it. Hopefully, naked and sprawled across his bed wearing nothing but a corset. Red, if he was very, very lucky, although he couldn’t imagine Elizabeth owning a red corset. Wearing one but not owning one. Perhaps a gift was in order? For Christmas. Privately given, of course. And stockings. Definitely stockings. The finest available and nothing the least bit practical.
“Nicholas.” Elizabeth swept into the room with a curt nod, her chin held high, her shoulders back, her breasts straining at the fabric of her dress. Oh yes, he could definitely imagine Elizabeth in a red corset.
“You’re early.”
“I could scarcely wait.” The words were right, but there was something definitely amiss in her tone.
He narrowed his gaze. “Did your guests have an enjoyable time?”
“Yes,” she said coolly.
He studied her carefully, the corset in his mind even now fading to a serviceable, practical, well-washed white. She was obviously annoyed about something. Or rather annoyed at him about something. He racked his brain, but he really hadn’t done anything. Not yet, that is.
“Elizabeth,” he said slowly, “is there—”
“Do you have something to tell me?” Her voice was overly casual, her manner idle. Her gaze was firmly on him, but she absently picked up a small Ming ginger jar.
“What are you doing with that?”
She glanced at the jar in her hands as if she was unaware that she held it. “I had rather thought I had cured myself of this habit.” Her brows pulled together. “Until you returned, that is.”
“What habit?” He was almost afraid to ask.
“I have become a vase thrower, Nicholas.” She shrugged as if she held some worthless piece of penny pottery and not a priceless relic.
“Yes, I’ve noticed.” He eyed the ginger jar. “Only vases?”
“Primarily vases. Sometimes a pot, crockery, the occasional dish, every now and then a glass.”
“Ah well, then, specifically, that is a ginger jar.”
She smiled. “Ginger jars.”
“I don’t remember you as a v
ase thrower.”
“I didn’t used to be a vase thrower.” Her brow furrowed. “I don’t remember when I started throwing vases. When life became rather frustrating, I suspect.”
“Frustrating?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That may well be the wrong word.” She shifted the jar from hand to hand in the manner of a small boy with a ball. He did wish she wouldn’t do that. “There is an astounding amount of satisfaction in throwing something with weight to it.” She glanced up at him. “This has a nice throwing weight, by the way.”
“I’m sure the Ming dynasty created it with that in mind,” he murmured.
“And it is appreciated.” At least she didn’t seem quite as annoyed as she had a moment ago.
“That is an exceptionally valuable piece.” He circled the desk. “Quite rare and very, very old.”
“You have plenty of money.”
“It’s irreplaceable.”
“Ah well. Rather a pity then.” She studied the blue underglazed jar. “I believe I started after Christopher was born. I don’t remember exactly what prompted me to throw my first vase, but I do remember the intense sense of satisfaction and, well, relief, I would say. The heft of the object in my hand. The release of letting it fly. And the enormously satisfying crash as it shattered against the wall. Precisely why I prefer vases, you see.”
“I’m afraid I don’t.” He directed his words to her but kept a careful watch on the pottery.
“Glasses, especially crystal, are light and rather inadequate to the task.” She shook her head. “Not like a good vase.”
“Ginger jar,” he corrected and chose his words carefully. “What, pray tell, is prompting you now?”
“Ah yes, the matter at hand.” She narrowed her gaze. “Do you have something you want to tell me?”
Not if he wished to save his jar from certain destruction. “I don’t think so.”
“No?” She raised a brow. “Nothing at all?”
“No?” It was more a question than an answer.
“About Miss Godwin?”
“Teddy?” His heart sank. How much did she know, or did she merely suspect? “Why would you think—”
“Come now, Nicholas.” She glared at him. “I saw her leave. Not more than ten minutes ago. I refuse to be placed in this position again, knowingly or unknowingly. I will not stand for it.”
He stared at her for a long moment. Relief washed through him, and he grinned. “You’re jealous.”
“I most certainly—” She huffed. “Yes, apparently I am jealous.”
His grin widened. “How delightful.”
“It’s not the least bit delightful,” she snapped. “It’s maddening. I have never been jealous a day in my life.”
“Charles never made you jealous?”
“No.” She heaved a frustrated sigh. “Never. I would have been possibly, if I had known of his activities, but as I didn’t….” Her eyes narrowed. “What is your relationship with Miss Godwin?”
“As I told you the last time you were jealous, Teddy is a very old and very dear friend. Indeed, she helped me with the order from Fortnum and Mason. She has a gift for that sort of thing.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the desk. A jealous Elizabeth was rather intriguing and most amusing. “I daresay I couldn’t have done it without her.”
She studied him with obvious suspicion. “And she stayed here all the while you were at my house and afterwards?”
“Not at all. If you must know, we met this morning. She guided me in selecting items for the tea and was most instrumental in convincing Fortnum and Mason to put the order together at once.” He met her gaze. “Her charming persuasiveness coupled with a great deal of my money is why your tea was such a success.” He raised a brow. “It was a success, wasn’t it?”
“Rousing,” she muttered. “Why then was she here this evening?”
“My, you are jealous.” He chuckled. “It’s most appealing.”
“It’s not the least bit—”
“Teddy stopped by on her way to the theater to see if all had gone well.” It was the truth as far as it went and, for now, he saw no need to tell her anything else. “Nothing more than that.”
Elizabeth considered him for a long, silent moment, then sighed. “I feel like something of a fool.” She set the ginger jar down. “Again.”
“Jealousy, brought on by jumping to conclusions, will do that.”
She shook her head. “Even so, it’s a part of myself I am unfamiliar with, and I do not like it.”
“I, however, find your jealousy and your foolishness rather charming.”
“I should send Miss Godwin a note of thanks,” she murmured. “And my apologies as well.”
“No need to apologize,” he said quickly. He could not conceive of anything more dangerous than a true friendship springing up between Elizabeth and Teddy. No, it was in the best interest of all involved to keep these two women as far apart as possible. “She has no idea of your erroneous conclusions. Besides, it would simply embarrass her.”
“I suppose. But a note of thanks—”
“Would be most appropriate. Now then.” It was past time to get the subject off Teddy and onto something far more important. “About this jealously problem of yours—”
“I do not have a problem with jealousy.” A reluctant smile lifted the corner of her lips. “My problem is you.”
He resisted the urge to move toward her. “Oh?”
“Yes, well you see.” She clasped her hands together and glanced around the room, her gaze falling anywhere except on him. “That is to say…”
“Yes?”
“I have given this matter a great deal of thought. Due consideration, that is.”
He nodded. “Go on.”
“And I have decided, well”—she drew a deep breath and met his gaze—“I will marry you, Nicholas.”
“Will you?” he said slowly.
They were the words he wanted to hear. The words he’d waited for. Why then wasn’t he overjoyed?
“Yes, I will.” She nodded firmly.
“Why?” At once he realized there was something here that he’d missed. Something that nagged at the back of his mind.
“Why?” Her eyes widened. “What do you mean, why? You’ve given me any number of reasons why I should marry you. For one thing, you control my finances.”
“Ah yes, of course.” He forced a light note to his voice that belied the sinking sensation in his stomach. “You want me for your money. Not very flattering.”
“That’s not it, Nicholas,” she said quickly. “And you well know it.”
“No, I didn’t think it was. What I do think”—even as he said the words he couldn’t believe he was saying them—“is that, at the moment at least, marriage between the two of us might well be a mistake.”
“What?” Shock rang in her voice.
“I’m not entirely sure marriage right now would be the wisest course.”
“Why on earth not? It’s what you’ve wanted all along.”
“Yes it is and I still want it.”
“Then—”
“You jumped far too quickly to the conclusion that there was something between Teddy and myself.”
“That’s what this is all about? Most men would be flattered.” Her voice rose. “Besides, why wouldn’t I be jealous, Nicholas? She is a lovely, desirable woman, and you—”
“Yes?”
“You are,” she drew a deep breath, “everything a woman could ever want.”
“Thank you. Nonetheless, I don’t think you should enter into marriage with a man you don’t trust.”
“Nonsense, Nicholas. I might not have trusted you initially. You did break my heart after all, and that’s not something a woman forgets easily, but you have more than proved to me the kind of man you are.”
“Did I break your heart?” he said quietly.
“It’s taken me a decade to admit it, but yes, you did. Regardless, I am certain you are now a
man I can trust with, with,” she lifted her chin, “with the rest of my life.”
“Can you? You say you’ve never known jealousy, yet you assumed the worst when you saw another woman leave my door.”
“Obviously because I cannot bear the thought of you with someone else. Did I mention you should be flattered?”
He shook his head slowly. “I’ll not pay for another man’s sins.”
“What?” She shook her head in confusion. “Whose sins?”
“A few moments ago, when you thought there was something more than friendship between Teddy and myself, you said you would not be put in that position again.”
“I see.” She nodded. “And rightfully so. You can scarcely blame me for that.”
“I don’t.” He chose his words with care. “When I told you that I had been faithful to you in my heart all these years, as trite as it may have sounded, it was the truth. I have never loved another woman.”
“You…” Her voice caught. “I never imagined—”
“When we met again a few weeks ago,” his gaze met hers, “I asked you if you were at peace. You didn’t answer.”
She scoffed. “Because it was a silly question.”
“Because you aren’t at peace. Not with Charles.”
“Charles is dead.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Dead and buried and gone.”
“And you never had the chance to confront him. To resolve things between the two of you. He shared his life secretly with another woman for more than half of your marriage. You can’t tell me that you don’t have any number of questions about that relationship.”
“Oh, I suppose I do. It would be only natural to have a certain amount of curiosity—”
“As much as you claim to have forgiven him, you said it yourself: He is an unfinished chapter in your life.”
She shook her head. “Even so—”
“He betrayed you.”
“I know that,” she snapped. “And you broke—”
“Damn it all, Elizabeth. I did what I thought was best for your life and your future and your happiness, and I am bloody well tired of apologizing for it. It was the biggest mistake of my life and the noblest thing I’ve ever done. I did what I did in the manner I did to assure you would marry the man I thought, the man everyone thought, the man you thought, was right, indeed, meant for you. To assure your happiness.”
A Visit from Sir Nicholas Page 25