by Sarah Morgan
He knew he ought to say something.
They needed to talk about that day of the funeral.
This was as good a time as any, and as good a place. The fact that there were other people around might stop his grandfather from exploding.
Élise walked off and Sean stood up and straightened his shoulders. “Gramps—”
Walter’s gaze met his. “You’re still here? If you’re waiting for me to drop dead you’re going to be here a long time.”
If there was frailty, it was hidden again. Hidden behind layers of fear and fierce determination. Without Élise forcing him to look beneath the surface, he would have missed it.
“Glad to hear it, because I’m off duty. I’m here to finish the deck so that this place can open on time. Seems a shame to cancel a good party. We don’t have that many around here.”
“You wouldn’t have come to the party. You would have been busy. With you, work always comes before everything. Even your family.”
Sean’s gut settled into a tight knot. The impulse to talk about the row vanished. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Walter looked around him. “Not much progress since I left.”
Sean thought of all the work he’d undone and almost laughed. “Yeah. Going slowly.”
“It’s because you’re out of practice. If you spent more time here, you’d be better at it.”
And that, Sean thought, was how not to mend a row.
Gritting his teeth, he got on with the job, his mind occupied with the task of making the work last four days.
He told himself it was worth swallowing his pride and enduring the digs and comments to watch over his grandfather. Worth it to see his grandmother more relaxed.
And worth it to watch Élise.
She arrived back at the table with a tray of drinks and freshly baked pastries and Sean saw his grandfather smile at her.
The smile tugged at him.
Hell, was he really so desperate for his grandfather’s approval?
Was he six years old?
Exasperated with himself, Sean turned away and focused his attention on the work that needed to be done, working at a snail’s pace on the unfinished deck as the sun burned his shoulders.
The doctors in the hospital had told him his grandfather hadn’t been eating much but Élise tempted him with tiny portions of his favorite food and sat with him while he ate it. She coaxed him, mouthful by mouthful, encouraging him to tell her stories about growing up at Snow Crystal. Sean worked with only half an eye on what he was doing, distracted by the tantalizing swing of that mahogany hair so close to that curving mouth.
The dimple was back, dancing in the corner of her mouth, and humor lit up her eyes.
Watching her with his grandfather, Sean saw a different side of her. With him she was always on her guard. With his grandfather she was softer and more open. It was clear she adored him.
And it made him realize even more how little of herself she’d given to him.
Sex, he thought. That was what she’d given him.
And that suited him just fine. That was all he wanted, wasn’t it?
He swore as he almost removed the tip of his finger and caught his grandfather’s eye.
“Don’t worry,” he muttered. “A sawn-off finger is something I can fix, remember?”
The café was a hive of activity as everyone worked to get the place ready for opening.
Poppy walked past carrying a stack of boxes and sent him a dazzling smile. “Good morning, Sean.”
Remembering Jackson’s comments about breaking hearts and wet shirts, Sean kept his response suitably neutral.
After a morning working in the sun he was thirsty and hungry. He was about to offer to drive his grandfather the short distance back to his house, when Tyler turned up to do it.
Fed up with working at a snail’s pace under his grandfather’s scorching glare, Sean sat down in a chair by the water’s edge.
A moment later Élise put a tray in front of him. “Grilled panini, Green Mountain ham and local cheddar. Enjoy.”
He’d expected her to go straight back to work but she sat down opposite him and poured them both glasses of iced water.
“Is Walter always like that with you or is it because of the row?”
He bit into the panini, wondering what had possessed him to mention the row to her when he hadn’t even told Jackson. “Friendly, you mean? Yeah. He adores me, can’t you tell?” He chewed and decided it was worth putting up with a month of his grandfather griping at him to eat Élise’s food.
“He does adore you. When you’re not here, he talks about you constantly.” She was frowning as she tried to work it out. “But for some reason he doesn’t show it. He isn’t a man who shows his affections easily, but still—”
Affection?
Sean almost laughed. “He has expectations. I don’t fit them. Every time he sees me he remembers what a disappointment I am.” He took another bite of the panini. “And the fight didn’t help.”
“So instead of fixing it, you stay away? What sort of twisted logic is that? It makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense to me. It’s easier on everyone if I keep my distance. I thought it might calm things down.”
Her gaze slid to his. “For a while I was worried the reason you stayed away was because of last summer.” Her tone was ultra casual. “I was afraid it might have made you feel awkward.”
“It didn’t.”
“You so rarely came home.”
“What about you?” Why hadn’t that possibility occurred to him? “Did it make you feel awkward?”
“Not at the time, but afterward?” She turned her head and stared across the lake. “Afterward I wondered if it was a mistake. I wouldn’t want to come between you and your family. If I thought that was the case, I would leave right now.”
The remark was so typical of her. All or nothing.
He couldn’t help smiling. “Before the Boathouse opens? Wouldn’t that be letting Jackson down?”
“Yes, but nothing is more important than family. Nothing. I could not ever come between you.” Her voice was fierce and he saw her knuckles whiten as she gripped the glass in her hand.
“Relax. The reason I don’t come home often has nothing to do with you. It’s mostly work pressure.”
“Mostly, but not all.” She thumped the glass down on the table. “When are you going to fix things with your grandfather?”
He didn’t tell her he’d been about to do exactly that when Walter had laid into him. “I’ll do it when the time is right.”
“That time should be now.” Something shimmered in her eyes and she blinked, stood up and reached for his empty plate. “Do you want more?”
He caught her hand. “Why should I do it now?”
“Because a conversation as important as that should never be postponed.” Her voice was husky and he wondered why she cared so much about his relationship with his grandfather.
“I’ll wait until he’s stronger.”
She pulled her hand away impatiently and cleared the table. “The problem is that you are both so alike and neither of you can see it.”
“Alike?” He was genuinely astonished at the suggestion. “We’re not alike. I am nothing like my grandfather.”
“You both have a passion about something and that is all you see. With him it is Snow Crystal, for you it is your job.”
“That’s different.”
“How is it different? You are both single-minded in the pursuit of what you want. You both find it hard to compromise. It is perhaps not so surprising that you clash.”
He’d only ever thought about the differences. Never about the similarities.
“We clash because families always clash.” How could she think he was like his grandfather? It was ridiculous of her to suggest it. “All families are complicated.”
“Are they?”
“Isn’t yours? You don’t have warring uncles or disapproving grandparents? Come on—th
ere has to be someone you avoid at family gatherings.”
“There are no gatherings.”
Sean lowered his glass, watching her hair shimmer in the sunlight. “You’re not close to your family?”
“I don’t have a family.” Reaching out, she took the empty glass from his fingers. “I’ll take that if you’ve finished.”
“You talked about your mother. You told me she was your inspiration.”
“She was. She died when I was eighteen.” She balanced the glasses on the plates. “I need to get back to work. There’s still lots to do here.”
“Wait a minute.” He tried to imagine a life that wasn’t crowded with siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. True, they drove him crazy half the time but he couldn’t imagine a life without them. “There’s no one?”
“That’s right. Just me. But I’m very happy so you don’t need to wear your concerned doctor face. I am surrounded by people I care about and who care about me. And I borrow your family. I love them very much.” She gave a faint smile. “You should fix this thing with your grandfather. Whatever it is that keeps you away from Snow Crystal, you should mend it.”
“What keeps you away from Paris?”
“I have no reason to go back. My life is here. This is my home.”
He noticed she didn’t describe it as her job. “There’s a difference between not going back and staying away.”
Her eyes met his. He saw shock there and something else he couldn’t interpret and then it was gone.
“Are you really going to lecture me on going home when you can hardly remember the last time you were here? Fix things with your grandfather. Don’t wait.”
Without giving him the chance to extend the conversation, she quietly picked up the empty jug and the glasses and walked back across the deck toward the kitchen.
* * *
SHE’D LIED.
She told him she had no family and strictly speaking that wasn’t true, was it?
There was someone.
Someone she had cut out of her life.
Someone she tried not to think about.
Feeling sick and shaky, Élise removed a tray of perfectly cooked blueberry muffins from the oven and put them to cool alongside the croissants and the pains au chocolate.
Why was he suddenly asking questions?
Their relationship was supposed to be fun and flirty. Casual. She hadn’t expected him to shift the conversation to personal. Sean was well-known for not taking his relationships to another level. It was one of the reasons she’d felt comfortable with him.
“Mmm, they look delicious.” Poppy appeared next to her, stocking cupboards with ingredients. “I love this kitchen so much. It’s so much more cozy than the one in the restaurant.”
The kitchen in the Boathouse was on a smaller scale than the main restaurant, but Élise had made sure it was sufficiently equipped to ensure they could run the café from there.
“I’m testing the ovens.” She broke open a croissant, examined the texture and then sniffed it and tasted it, thinking of Walter and Sean rather than herself.
They were trapped in a cycle that neither would break because neither would take that first step forward. And she understood that all too well because she’d done the same thing herself.
She’d assumed there would be time to fix things.
She’d been wrong.
Pain shot through her and for a moment she stood there, trying to shift the darkness of her past.
It depressed her that talking about Paris did that to her, even after all this time.
“Is something wrong?” Poppy was still unpacking boxes. “You look stressed out, but it’s all going smoothly, isn’t it? We’re on track?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m not stressed out.”
At least, she shouldn’t be.
She hadn’t been back to Paris in eight years. There were days when she didn’t even think about it. About him.
It was in her past and that was where it was staying. At one time it had dominated her life. Now, she didn’t allow it that much importance. Which was why she never discussed it with anyone.
But Sean had noticed.
Just a little slip on her part, but he’d picked up on it.
Poppy cast her a worried glance. “You’re probably stressed out by the last-minute rush to finish the deck. It’s brilliant that he’s helping out, of course, but if Dr. Scorching Hot is going to spend the whole week with his shirt off, I’m telling you now I’m going to have to take a swim in that lake.” She pushed tins and containers neatly into the cupboard and closed the door. “How about you, Chef? Does it affect your concentration having him out there?”
“No. As long as he finishes the work, I don’t care what he’s wearing.”
Poppy stared at her in amazement and Élise realized it would have been wiser to laugh, joke and admit that yes, Sean O’Neil was a sexy guy.
Pretending otherwise had simply drawn attention to herself when she’d been hoping to deflect it.
“I suppose I’m just too busy to notice.”
“Right.” Poppy turned her incredulous gaze back to unpacking boxes and Élise knew she’d been about as convincing as she’d been when she’d told Sean she didn’t think of Paris.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SEAN HAD FORGOTTEN HOW it felt to spend a whole day outdoors. Used to dehydrating under the artificial lights of the operating room, it was a pleasant change to feel the sun scorch his back and breathe in the scent of summer rain.
What surprised him most was the discovery that he’d missed certain aspects of being home. He’d missed the lake and the forest, the feel of the wood against his hands, the rush of satisfaction that came from a job well done.
Nothing gave him the same satisfaction as operating, but he had to admit that over the past few days there had been moments when working on the deck had come close. After days of watching life go by, he could see how much Jackson had done to boost the fortunes of Snow Crystal.
Every morning, Brenna had taken a group of children out onto the lake in kayaks as part of her Outdoor Discovery week. Jess, Tyler’s daughter, had joined them and Sean had been watching their progress.
Among the children he recognized Sam Stephens, who had been coming to Snow Crystal for the last five years with his parents. This year there was a new baby in the family so Sam had been enrolled in one of their kids’ programs and if the smile on his face was anything to go by, he was loving it.
“Hi, Dr. O’Neil!” Sam waved madly and the kayak rocked.
“Hi, yourself.” Deciding that a break was as good a way of slowing things down as any, Sean leaned over the railings. “Looking good, Sam.”
“Brenna’s been teaching us how not to capsize. You have to use your paddle and your body. A few of us fell in.” He lowered his voice. “One of the boys cried, but I thought it was really cool.”
Sean thought about the temperature of the water and decided “cool” probably didn’t begin to describe it. “How’s that sister of yours?”
“She cries a lot and she’s too small to be any fun, but Dad says maybe in two years she can go on a bike or something.” Sam almost smacked himself in the face with the paddle. “I’m going to be nine next week. I’m getting a bike for my birthday. Dad’s going to take me out on one of the trails. Have you saved any lives today, Dr. O’Neil?”
“Not today. But it’s only eleven o’clock.” He’d lost his audience because the boy was peering past him, the kayak rocking as he craned his neck.
“Élise! Élise, look at me.” He waved an arm, almost dropping the paddle. “I know the French word for lake. Lac.”
“Très bien! You are very clever.” Light on her feet, Élise crossed the deck and waved back. “Soon you will be fluent.”
Sean glanced at her and saw that telltale dimple in the corner of her mouth. Her gaze was warm as she leaned over the railings and spoke to the boy, speaking slowly in French.
Sam was paddling and
talking. “I like French but science is my best subject. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a surgeon like Dr. O’Neil. He fixes bones and things. Isn’t that right, Dr. O’Neil?”
Sean dragged his eyes away from that dimple. “Yeah.” Aware that he sounded croaky, he cleared his throat. “That’s right.”
“I guess if you’re going to be a surgeon, you have to be okay with blood. I’m fine with blood. I don’t faint or anything.” Sam paddled away, kayak rocking in the water. “See you later, alligator!”
Élise grinned at Sean. “You said you wanted hero worship. I think you’ve got it.”
“He’s the one and only paid-up member of my fan club.”
She straightened. “Finish my deck in time for the opening, and I’ll be your second member.”
“I’ll finish your deck.” He couldn’t decide what to look at—the swing of her hair or the curve of her mouth, but he knew he wanted more time with both. He also knew she’d been avoiding him since their conversation a few days earlier. “Sit down for five minutes. You’ve been working all morning. You never stop.”
“There is still too much to do and we’re full in the restaurant tonight. Fortunately Elizabeth is working so that makes things easier. Having your mother helping out in the kitchen has changed my life.”
“It’s changed her life, too.” He remembered how his mother had been after his father’s death and compared it to the way she was now. “There was a time when I didn’t know how she was going to cope without Dad. She always loved cooking for the family but none of us thought about her working in the business. You saved her.”
“She saved herself. It just took a little time and that is not surprising. She lost someone she loved. You all did. You were close to your father.”
“Yes.” He saw no reason to deny it. “Of the three of us, I was probably the closest to him.”
There was a brief silence and then she covered her hand with his. “Losing someone you love is very hard.” She was about to say something else, but then she saw Sam waving and waved back. “I need to get on.”
He wanted to ask about her mother, about her life in Paris, but he knew it was the wrong time. And the wrong place. “You work too hard.”