“Penny.” He closed the distance between them and the air around her grew heavy. Luke stuck out his hand to Jasper. “Luke Ward, and you are?”
“Jasper Ballard.” Jasper’s gaze flicked to hers for a moment before returning to Luke. “You part of the Ward farm?”
“Yeah, my brother owns it.”
“I was heading out there this afternoon.” Jasper stood with his feet apart and his arms crossed. “Sam usually has some odds and ends this time of year that he uses my help on.”
“Sam’s sick,” Penny interjected, though neither man looked her way.
“I’d be willing to come out and help. My next job is in a week or so, but I work hard and don’t mess around,” Jasper said. “You can ask Sam about me if you want his approval. Here’s my card.”
Luke took the card and flipped it over in his hand. “I’ll have to check with Sam about the finances, but we could use some more manpower.”
“Great. I’ll come out later this afternoon to see if we can make this work.” Jasper winked at Penny. “I’ll see you later, gorgeous.”
Before she could get out a not-right-now-thank-you, Jasper was out the door, leaving her alone with Luke. She busied herself with the little knickknacks on the counter as if her life depended on getting them exactly in line.
“We going to talk about this?” Luke placed his hand over hers.
Her gaze bounced up to his and then back down. “Talk about what?”
Ignorance would save her. From what...she didn’t know. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t even encouraged Jasper. She just hadn’t gotten the chance to say she was taken for now. And now she’d have to find Jasper to let him know that it wasn’t going to happen this time.
Luke placed the card in her line of sight. “Is this why you were busy last night?”
“No.” She met his gaze square on. “Of course not. I haven’t seen him in over a year until this morning. Here in the shop, where we most definitely did not have sex.”
“But he was the last guy you had sex with?”
“If it’s any of your business, yeah. So what?” She pulled her hand back and crossed her arms.
“Do you even know him?”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters who you sleep with.”
“For the last time, I didn’t sleep with him. We had sex and it was good sex. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Is that all we are?” Luke flipped the card over and put it in the back pocket of his jeans. “Sex?”
“Why?” Penny threw her hands up. “What does it matter whether what I feel for you is more than sex? What is it going to change? You hate me for what I did. You know that I sleep around. That my standards are pretty low, except when it comes to you.”
She felt as if she were ripping her heart open and spilling it all over the counter, but she didn’t care. “We were fine apart. I got to do my thing and you got to do yours. You were only supposed to be here for the weekend.”
“I’m here and I’m glad that I am.” He came around the counter and rested his hands on her shoulders. “We left some things unfinished, unsaid.”
She braced herself, waiting for the anger and the accusations. Even though she felt strong on the outside, her heart felt like a brutalized piece of meat.
“I don’t know where we go from here. I don’t even know where here is.” His hands squeezed her shoulders. “You promised me you’d try. I promise you I’ll try to trust you.”
Her eyes widened. She put her hands on his chest. “Trust?”
How could he say that after what she’d done to him? Kissing his own brother. Betraying every ounce of trust they had in their relationship. Making him feel like an idiot for ever believing her over all those guys.
“Yeah.” His smile softened. “If you say you aren’t having sex with that guy, I’ll believe you. Just promise me if you decide to sleep—have sex with that guy or anyone else, you’ll give me a heads-up. That way I can convince you not to.”
He brushed his lips against hers, and that little fizzle of warmth spread throughout her chilled body. “Why?”
“Why would I convince you? Because you’re hot and I’m horny.”
She pushed on his chest. “You know what I mean.”
“Because, Penny...” He kissed her and hugged her close.
Giving in to her desire, she rested her head against his chest and breathed in the freshness of him. His arms could make anything better. The day a little brighter. She wished she could stay here all the time and never let him go. “Because?”
“Because you make me feel alive. I like the way I feel with you. I tried to forget how you made me feel by putting hundreds of miles between us. Let me be enough for you. For as long as this lasts...let me be enough.”
Chapter Twelve
The next few days flew by in a haze. Penny kept busy at the store during the day and Luke showed up every night, though only for a short period before he went back out to be with Sam. Their time together wasn’t just about sex anymore. They talked about everything. Her store. His medical career. The crappy stuff he had to do out at the farm. The crazy tourist with the yappy dog she’d insisted on bringing into Penny’s shop.
What they didn’t talk about was the past. Or their feelings. Which was fine with Penny.
Today was her day off, so she decided to drive out to the farm to check on Sam, as she promised Amber. She also planned to clean the house because the men likely hadn’t had time to with everything that had to be done on the farm.
Jasper and Luke waved from the field as she passed by to turn down the driveway. Jasper hadn’t shown up at her doorstep yet. Maybe Luke had told him that she was unavailable. Or maybe Jasper had noticed Luke’s car in her driveway. Either way she was glad it was a nonissue.
She parked and grabbed the bags of groceries out of the back. As she walked into the kitchen, the screen door slammed behind her. Someone had tightened the spring again.
She set the bags on the counter and started to unload them. It hadn’t taken her long to figure out the kitchen setup when she’d been out here with Luke and Amber.
“Oh, it’s you.” Sam stood in the doorway with his perma-scowl on.
“Sorry to disappoint.” Penny didn’t look up from unloading groceries.
Sam walked into the kitchen and sat on one of the wooden chairs.
“Shouldn’t you be in a comfy chair or your bed?”
Sam rested his head on his hands. “Not you, too. How many reruns and episodes of Judge Judy do you people think I can take?”
Penny shrugged and grabbed the empty bags to store in the closet. When she turned back, Sam was looking at her expectantly, so she asked him, “Did you need something to eat?”
“Sure.” Sam brushed his hand over his jaw. “I’d do it myself, but I’m too feeble apparently.”
Penny shook her head and smiled. “Dr. Luke has you on lockdown?”
Sam nodded miserably.
“One grilled cheese sandwich coming up.” She got out the bread, cheese and margarine and started heating up a skillet. She wasn’t used to being alone with Sam. His silence had always been somewhat off-putting to her; she liked to talk.
“Amber called me yesterday.” Sam’s voice shattered the silence.
“How’s she doing?” Penny buttered the bread and unwrapped the cheese. Sam must be really bored if he was willing to talk to her.
“She’s having the time of her life and trying not to sound like it.”
Penny glanced back in time to catch Sam’s smile. Weird.
He pulled out a farm magazine and flipped through the pages.
“I’ve talked to her every day, and she’s always excited about all the rides. So...” Penny crossed her arms over her chest. �
�What’s your secret?”
“What?” He stopped flipping and looked up at her.
“Before you came along, I was Amber’s favorite person to hang out with. We’d order pizza, do our nails and watch romantic tween movies together.” She waved the spatula at him. “Did you bribe her with chocolate? Or is it the dogs? Because I got her one of those, too.”
Sam scratched his chin. “I don’t know. I give her chores and she asks for more. Maybe it’s because I don’t treat her like a kid.”
Penny narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure it isn’t chocolate? Because I can totally hook her up with chocolate.”
“She likes the animals.” Sam shrugged.
“I’m not about to install a circus in my backyard.” She turned and put his sandwich in the skillet.
“Guess you won’t win, then.”
She spun around, but he had his head buried in the magazine again. “I wouldn’t taunt the woman making your meal, Sam Ward.”
“It can’t taste any worse than my cooking, no matter what you do to it.”
Penny laughed and turned back to the stove. “Luke used to always try to eat at my place or we’d go out somewhere. He said he’d starve to death if he had to live on what you prepared.”
“I haven’t starved yet.”
She finished his sandwich and put it on a plate. She grabbed a diet pop and some carrots from the fridge and placed it all in front of Sam.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Penny washed the pan and the spatula and put them in the drying rack. She scrubbed down the counters and the rest of the kitchen while Sam ate his lunch and read the magazines.
“How was the sandwich?” she asked as she took his empty plate.
“Pretty good.” Sam glanced up at her. “But we already know I have the taste buds of a dog.”
“True.” Penny smiled.
The screen door creaked as it was pulled open. They both looked toward the door as Luke came in. He stopped and the door slammed shut behind him.
His mouth opened and closed. Penny realized how close she was standing to Sam’s chair and stepped back. Jasper followed Luke in.
“Penny! Long time no see.” Jasper winked, completely oblivious to the tension in the room. The door slammed behind him. “What’s for lunch?”
“I think I’m going to go lie down.” Sam rose from his chair and headed back toward his bedroom.
Penny went to the sink and washed the plate in the water she had left from doing the pan. She’d done nothing wrong, but her stomach rolled and pitched like a boat caught in a storm.
“Guess I’ll get my own lunch. You want anything, Luke?” Jasper said.
“Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll go wash up some.”
She knew the moment he left the room. Some of the warmth left with him.
“So you and Luke, eh?” Jasper said as he sat at the table. “I guess that means I’ll have to find another lovely companion to spend my time with in Tawnee Valley.”
She set the dish in the drying rack and faced Jasper. “I’m sure you’ll have no trouble securing a ‘companion.’”
“I don’t know about that.” He took a drink from his pop can. “Most of the women are looking for someone to marry them so they can pop out a few brats. Or someone to take care of the brats they already have.”
“That sounds pretty bitter.” She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “Harboring some resentment there?”
“Hardly. I just know the lay of the land. The young ones are looking for a way to get out of town. The older ones are looking for someone to hold on to.” Jasper smiled. “You are definitely one of a kind.”
“How so?”
“You don’t want anything from guys except sex. No strings. No attachment. No having to fake I care. You get yours and I get mine and we go on our separate ways.”
The way he described it, sex with her was a transaction. She’d never put much thought into it. It was a basic need like eating and sleeping. Lots of people attached significance to the act that she just didn’t.
Luke walked in and she met his gaze.
Except with Luke. It was more than sex with him. Her breath caught in her throat and her knees felt as if they were going to give out from underneath her. She’d tried to keep that distance she needed, but somehow she’d fallen for him.
She loved him. It hit her like a punch to the gut. Her heart had always belonged to him, but part of her had always held itself apart. The part that knew no matter how hard she tried to stay with him, it wouldn’t last. Love? She fought against the realization...and the need to breathe.
He was going to leave soon and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Her heart collapsed in her chest.
“Are you okay?” Concern filled Luke’s blue eyes as he crossed the kitchen. He rubbed her arms.
Her head felt light and darkness surrounded her.
“Penny. Breathe.”
She gasped in air.
The world spun as Luke swept her up in his arms. She linked her hands behind his head, more by instinct than by conscious thought.
“Keep breathing,” he said quietly as he carried her up the stairs and into his bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and laid her on the bed. Sitting next to her, he brushed his hand over her forehead and her hair. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
I love you—that’s what’s wrong. Heat rushed to her cheeks. “I just got faint, is all.”
“Has this happened before?” He took her wrist in his hand and watched his watch as he took her pulse.
“No.” Only once. Even though she’d done it intentionally.... When she’d realized what she’d done with Sam. When she realized that everything she’d wanted was never to be hers. Because the only thing she had ever really wanted was Luke.
She’d never questioned her decision. It had been for the best. They couldn’t possibly last because love didn’t last. At least not for her. At some point everyone she loved went away.
Taking deep breaths, she tried to slow down her racing heart. “I’m feeling better now.”
When she tried to sit, Luke gently pushed her shoulder back to the bed. “I shouldn’t come over every night. You have work. You need rest.”
She shook her head. She’d never needed much sleep, and having Luke was worth needing to down an extra cup of coffee in the morning. “I get plenty of sleep.”
“Maybe we should cool it for a night.”
She grabbed his hand. She didn’t want to miss a single day with him. All too soon he’d be gone and she’d be alone. He might not have moved on yet, but he would. Luke was built for happily ever after. Just not with her.
“Luke, we don’t need to cool it. I’m getting enough sleep. It was probably just the heat in the kitchen.” She grasped at straws.
He brushed the hair off her forehead and smiled. “It’s okay. Tonight you get some sleep and tomorrow night we’ll go out on a real date. With dinner and a movie and all that crap.”
She relaxed into the bed and grabbed his hand. Tracing his fingers with her fingertip, she said, “That sounds great, but you should still come over tonight.”
Time alone was something she didn’t need. She would have plenty of time alone after he left. She wanted the oblivion making love with him gave her. She needed it.
He leaned down and kissed her. Slow and steady. It wasn’t earth-shattering, but it was everything to her. It was the pleasure she would remember when winter came and she had to cuddle with the dog to keep warm.
Luke lifted his head. “Maybe if you are good, I’ll try to make it by.”
She gave a dramatic sigh and held her arm over her eyes. “Then I’m doomed because I’m never good.”
“You’re always good to me, Penny.”
She
peeked out from behind her arm. “You’re the good one.”
He stood and pulled her up gently, checking her eyes closely while he pulled her to sitting and then to standing. She squinted back at him.
“I’m fine, Luke.” Just terminally in love.
Chapter Thirteen
Penny pulled the blanket around herself, and Flicker snuggled closer to her. The television volume was low enough that she would hear Luke’s knock on her door. When she’d left the farm earlier, he’d given her a scorching kiss that felt more like a promise than a good-night kiss.
Fortunately, My Best Friend’s Wedding was on cable to keep her occupied while she waited. Sleep was the last thing on her mind. She had to deal with the fact that she was in love with Luke, but she had pushed him away long ago by kissing Sam. Seeing that had been brutal enough to keep Luke away for years.
It hadn’t hurt only Luke, though. He’d left her without asking for an explanation. Just assumed the worst and left, as she’d known he would. Luke had never been the jealous type. At least not when they were teenagers.
He had been so confident in their love. And he had every reason to be. She had loved him with everything she had. But the thought of trying to make it in the real world—outside of the bubble of Tawnee Valley—had brought back memories of her mother.
She glanced at the time. If he didn’t show up in the next thirty minutes, she would text him. She’d make up some excuse, like she was feeling faint and needed a doctor. He would show up and take her in his arms and make her feel alive.
But for how long? Could she really let him go again? Even if it would be better for both of them? He had his job at the hospital and she had her store. Three hundred miles apart. This was the one time that their lives had intersected in almost nine years. That definitely didn’t boost her confidence that this could actually work.
She tried to concentrate on the story line of the movie. The future would come quickly enough without her worrying over it.
Just as she was dozing off, there was a knock at the door. Flicker lifted his head and then lay back down.
“My ferocious guard dog.” Penny shook her head as she walked to the front door. Maybe she should make Luke a key. That way even if she did fall asleep he could come in and wake her up. That put a smile on her face.
ONE NIGHT WITH THE BEST MAN Page 10