Rachel glanced around her. “Shh...”
But Anna caught the smile in her friend’s eyes. A woman should look beautiful on her wedding day.
“In an hour you will be Rachel Barnes.”
The smile in Rachel’s eyes flooded onto her face, and she was grinning when they walked into the meetinghouse.
Inside the building, the air was solemn. Most of the benches were already filled, but unlike typical First Day services, the dull gray room was splattered with bright swatches of color from dresses worn by Liberty women. The shutters were open on both sides of the room, and the breeze whisked into the gallery and settled on the crowd, refreshing the staleness of the room.
The men were seated in the benches on the left side of the room. The women sat erect on the right. Motion ceased as each person took their place in the room, and even the children were uncannily still during the first part of the service.
Two tiers of facing benches rose in front of the assembly, lined with elders and recorded ministers. Her father was among this group, as were visiting ministers Isaac Barnes and his wife, Hannah. As was the custom, neither Isaac nor Hannah acknowledged her or their future granddaughter as they sat down. Their eyes stared forward, their spirits focused on His Light.
Anna sat between Rachel and Charlotte. Rachel turned her head toward the other side of the room. Anna knew the moment Rachel saw Luke, because her arms relaxed at her sides. In an hour, the ceremony would be done, and Rachel would join her husband.
The pages of someone’s Bible rustled nearby, but Anna kept her gaze on the back of the bench in front of her. Rachel wouldn’t be able to focus on anything except the wedding, but Anna wanted to set her heart and her mind on things above. If she looked upon the other side of the room, she was certain she would see Matthew Nelson in attendance, and once she saw him, the doubts would begin anew.
She closed her eyes, and in the quietness of the room she tried to listen. Coots squawked in the nearby swampland, and for a moment, she relished the wild noises in God’s creation.
Sometimes she wanted to stand up and rejoice like the coots, but she never spoke in Meeting. Instead she listened and waited for others to be moved by the Spirit. Every once in a while, someone would stand and speak out. When they did, everyone listened intently and determined in their hearts if their word was from God.
What am I to do? she asked softly, inward.
If her father did close their doors to fugitives, how could she continue to help them? Maybe she would talk to Lyle Trumble. Surely he could connect her with the right people.
“The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”
She’d read the verse before, but she didn’t remember exactly where. More than anything, that was what she wanted to do. Seek after Him and, yes, even wait for Him. He had been good to her. Even in the midst of her mother’s death. Even when she was angry and jealous. Even when she had neglected to seek Him.
He had been there.
Often her mind wandered during the quietness, but this was her time to seek Him. She needed to focus her mind and heart on receiving a word from God.
“If we seek the Lord, we will find Him.”
The voice startled Anna, and she opened her eyes. Women around her—those who had never attended a Meeting before—breathed a low but audible gasp at the interruption of their thoughts and perhaps prayers. Many of them turned toward the men’s side, straining their necks to see who had been led of the Spirit to speak out.
Anna didn’t turn. She knew the voice immediately. It was the man who had confronted Milton Kent in front of the courthouse. The man who had written horribly yet passionately about the escape of Enoch and the passing of the Fugitive Slave Act.
Daniel Stanton was speaking out, and her chest constricted so tightly that she had to force herself to breathe.
“God is ready to answer us, if only we seek,” Daniel was saying, “and as Friends, we must seek Him deep within our hearts and souls. Would our loving and righteous God approve of how we are treating our brothers and sisters in Christ? Those who were created by Him in a darker shell of skin?”
Daniel Stanton probably had come to witness the marriage of Isaac’s grandson along with most of Salem’s Anti-Slavery Meeting. She wanted to turn and watch him as he spoke, like she had at the courthouse, but she clenched her eyes shut before anyone could read what was in them. Curiosity was all it was, she insisted to herself. She was only curious about Daniel Stanton, like the worldly people who had gathered here today under the guise of attending a wedding so they could see how Quakers worshipped.
Several of the older women in their meeting could chatter more than the coots at the pond. She didn’t want any of them to see even a spark of interest from her at either Daniel Stanton or his words.
“It is for those of us who love our fellow man, those of us Friends who esteem equality among the races and sexes, to offer hope and refuge despite the failure of those who govern us to promote this kindness to our neighbors.”
A shiver rose within Anna, and her heart raced. She wanted to stand up and shout that Daniel Stanton was right. They had to protect these runaways no matter what they risked. God had placed the burden on their shoulders to watch over the slaves who ran through their state, their town.
Instead of shouting out, Anna squeezed her eyes even tighter to ward off the temptation of glancing his way. She already knew he was handsome, and there were probably many around her who were distracted at this moment, appreciating his fine features instead of listening to the truth in his words.
“We must seek Him together and find Him.” His voice began to escalate, and she imagined the birds and animals gathering outside to listen to his plea. “We can’t all fight against slavery or take care of those who have run away from this horrific institution, but in the quietness of this hour, I implore you to ask what it is that God would have you to do.”
After he sat down, Anna expected one of the Silver Creek men to rebut the finer points of what the Spirit had so clearly spoken to Daniel, but no one else stood. Perhaps they would save it and share later, next week, when Daniel was attending Meeting on the other side of town.
The minutes seemed to pass by slowly again as she mulled over Daniel’s words. Had she ever truly asked God what He would want her to do to help slaves? She had always assumed that He wanted her to work with her father to hide them in their home, but she had never asked for herself.
Maybe it was time for her to ask.
In front of her, a child fidgeted with something in his pocket, and Anna saw the flash of a tiny blue ball fall from his hands and bounce along the floor. The overseer was upon them, plucking up the ball from the floor and pointing his stick at the child. Then, for good measure, Anna watched him turn toward Maisy Templeton, who had fallen asleep at the end of the bench, her lower lip dangling like a shoot of ivy. He poked the stick into Maisy’s thick leg, and the woman jumped in her seat.
Anna’s gaze swung away from Maisy, and before she caught herself, she was looking at the other side of the room.
Daniel Stanton was sitting on the second bench with his head bowed. She didn’t want to stare, didn’t mean to, but her gaze rested on his face and didn’t waver. What she felt for him was admiration, nothing else, but she did appreciate his strength and determination. She wished she had the same strength within her and the ability to communicate what she felt in public, instead of in secret.
Charlotte elbowed her, and Anna jerked her head back toward the front. She could feel the stare of the overseer upon her, but she avoided his glance. Her father was right. She would have to be more careful. She couldn’t align herself with an outspoken abolitionist like Daniel Stanton, either in public or in private. Even her thoughts must refuse to entertain him.
Fifteen minutes later, the head of the Meeting broke the silence when he asked if all hearts were clear. No one responded, so he shook the hand of the man at his right, and the assembly followed his l
ead. Then he announced with great formality, “It is time for the marriage of Rachel Logue and Luke Barnes to be duly and properly performed.”
Anna squeezed Rachel’s hand and felt it tremble again, knowing that it wouldn’t stop until Luke firmly enclosed it within his fingers. As Rachel stood up and walked to the front of the room, Luke joined her side. No amount of willpower could squelch the smile that overcame his lips. Rachel’s face was hidden behind her bonnet, but Anna imagined her smile to be even bigger than Luke’s.
The clerk bustled to the front of the room and unrolled a large parchment in his hands. Anna found herself leaning forward with the crowd, listening for Luke’s and Rachel’s words.
Luke spoke first, slow and strong. “In the presence of God and these our Friends, I take thee, my Friend Rachel Logue, to be my wife, promising with divine assurance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband as long as we both shall live.”
She wasn’t supposed to cry on this glorious day, but Anna blinked back tears as Rachel repeated the vows. She was happy that her friend was marrying a fine man like Luke, yet sad because her friend was traveling down a road that Anna would never go.
When the vows were complete, Luke and Rachel sat on the facing bench and clasped hands. They were oblivious to the clerk as he dipped his goose-quill pen into a well of ink and held it up. In a slow line, the assembly shuffled out of their benches to sign their names to the certificate that would be framed and hung in Luke and Rachel’s parlor, treasured by them and the generations that followed.
Anna kept her head down as she moved to the front, refusing to look out over the crowd of men and women. She didn’t want to see Daniel Stanton or Matthew or anyone else who might distract her from her joy at communing with God today and the happiness of watching her friend marry.
Lyle Trumble signed the certificate in front of her and then handed her the pen. She slowly dipped it into ink and signed her name with a flourish, knowing that Rachel’s grandchildren and great-grandchildren would one day read each name with reverence.
When she finished, she lifted her head to pass on the pen and looked up at Daniel Stanton beside her.
He wasn’t looking at the document or the newly married couple in front of them. He was watching her closely, a curious expression in his eyes. Did he recognize her from the debate?
She never should have lingered that day. Nor should she have watched him so intently on the podium, thinking he couldn’t see her in the crowd. Now he would wonder at her boldness and her interest in his words.
He reached for the pen in her hands, and she shook her shoulders slightly to force herself to move her fingers toward his.
His hand brushed hers when he took the pen, and she hopped back like she’d been burned. Heat seemed to fill the room, stifling her.
With a quick nod toward Rachel, Anna turned away from Daniel and fled.
Chapter Nineteen
It was only a brush of the fingers, the briefest of touches, but Daniel couldn’t stop thinking about the woman at Meeting. He didn’t know her name, but her gracious smile had carried him through his exhausting debate with Milton Kent. Today she hadn’t smiled at him. She had confused him.
When she saw him this morning, there was fear in her eyes, almost as if she were scared of him. Instead of even a simple nod of acknowledgment, she had turned and run away.
Not that he could blame her; many people ran when they saw him coming. He didn’t want to scare people, but he said exactly what he thought God intended him to say, no matter how unpleasant. It didn’t attract many people, men or women, to him, and he usually didn’t care. But if he had said or done something to offend this girl, he’d like to know why. Just so he could ask her forgiveness.
During the debate, it had seemed like she agreed with him. It was her smile and the encouragement in her eyes that helped him push through to the end. He may have had more than one supporter on that lawn, but the only one he had seen was this nameless girl who either didn’t remember him or had been upset by something he’d said.
“Such a morbid affair,” Esther ruminated to Joseph from the front seat of the buggy. “All dark and gloomy.”
Joseph slowed the pace of the horse so the carriage wouldn’t bounce his wife and unborn child over the ruts in the backwoods road. “That’s how all Quakers marry.”
“I know that.” She crossed her white-gloved hands across her chest. “But it’s more like a funeral than a wedding.”
Daniel couldn’t help but smile. There had been nothing plain or simple about Esther’s wedding. Even though Joseph had shown up at the ceremony, it was definitely Esther’s wedding. Joseph would have been satisfied with a clerk, a pen, and a marriage certificate, but he endured almost a year of selecting colors, silver, and flowers for their grand church extravaganza. In the end, the ceremony itself was as elegant as Queen Victoria’s wedding.
In spite of the prewedding stress, Joseph and Esther’s marriage had lasted for six years. With the birth of their child, they would finally become parents. He had never seen his sister happier. She had been a loving wife to Joseph, and he had no doubt that she would be a wonderful mother, as well.
At the time they were married, Daniel didn’t know if Joseph could endure the notions of his sister, especially since he was almost a decade older than her, but Joseph had treated her with the respect she deserved.
He and Joseph may not see eye-to-eye on the issue of slavery, but his brother-in-law was a moral and upright man, and he loved Esther. One day, Daniel prayed, his brother-in-law would befriend runaway slaves the same way he befriended the many patients he cared for across their county.
Daniel balled up his hand as the Quaker girl’s pretty face wandered through his mind again. He couldn’t rid himself of the intense blue in her eyes or the softness of her fingers. She would be the type of person who would be kind to a runaway.
The buggy bumped over a hole, and Esther choked back her gasp. Joseph apologized, slowing the horse to a crawl.
Daniel knew he had to stop thinking about the woman at Silver Creek. He wouldn’t court a woman without the prospect of marriage, and since he would never marry, he had determined not to let his heart or mind get involved with another woman, no matter how earnestly her heart sought after God.
When he had lived in Cincinnati, he’d courted a Quaker girl named Jane for almost eight months. At the same time they were talking about their future, he had been seeking God on the divisive issue of slavery. He’d known in his heart that the institution was abhorrent, but as a young lawyer in a big city, he hadn’t known what to do about it.
Then he met Isaac Barnes when the minister visited the Cincinnati Meeting. The man had inspired him to speak out in public about slavery so others could learn the truth instead of what they were reading in local propaganda papers and hearing from the slave owners who perpetuated Cincinnati’s thriving import business.
His decision to speak out against slavery clinched the end of his and Jane’s plans to marry. She had dreams of marrying a successful Cincinnati lawyer, and those dreams dissipated the day he announced he’d taken an editorial position at an abolitionist newspaper—in Indiana.
He couldn’t blame her for ending their relationship. He had changed significantly from the day he had met her, and she was still the same woman he had met at Meeting. If they had married, he never could have given her a secure home life like Joseph had given Esther.
It was unfair to Jane, or any woman, to marry someone who had been called into a lifetime of insecurity. Abolition was a dangerous and often disdained line of work. He tried to listen to the quiet voice of God’s Spirit, and sometimes that voice prompted him to leap right into a battle.
He rubbed his hands together like he could scrub away the woman’s touch.
He couldn’t ask anyone, especially a devoted Quaker woman, to join the battle beside him.
Billows of smoke puffed out of the hotel and lingered on Liberty’s Main Street. Instead of inviting friends
and family to their house in town, the Logues had reserved the first floor of the Downing Hotel to celebrate the marriage of their daughter. All the people who had attended the wedding now poured into the town’s center on horses and in buggies.
As they rode into town, Anna twisted her hands in her lap and then clutched the side of the buggy to let the cool air wash over her fingers. She had to stop thinking about the most innocent of touches, but the man who had spoken out at Meeting—and watched her so intently—had invaded her thoughts.
The next time she saw Daniel Stanton, she would walk the other way. If someone tried to introduce them, the strange feelings that haunted her would be exposed for all to see. Later she would ask God to remove her desires, but in the meantime, she would have to avoid the man, especially if he decided to join the wedding party at Downing’s.
As her father tied the horses, she climbed down from the seat and rushed toward the hotel. She wanted to get inside and find a safe place to sit before he arrived.
Charlotte retied the ribbon on her bonnet while they walked. “I’m half starving.”
Anna smiled. “You’re always hungry.”
“Well, today I could eat a whole goose by myself.”
The aroma of roasted goose and lemon pastries wafted from the hotel, but Anna wasn’t the least bit hungry. She reached for the door handle in front of them, but before she opened it, a groan escaped her friend’s lips.
“What is it?” Anna whispered though she refused to turn her head. She didn’t want to see if Daniel Stanton was behind them.
Charlotte nodded toward the street, and Anna finally turned.
“Oh no,” she murmured.
Trotting down the street on his horse was one of the black slave hunters who had stood outside her door behind Noah Owens. The one who had held the chains in his hands. Dust plastered his leather coat and hat, and he was searching the buggies like Marie might be hiding away in one.
Hands on her hips, Anna stepped off the slats and onto the street. She would tell the man to go home, wherever home was for him. He wasn’t welcome here. No one, especially a greedy slave hunter, would spoil Rachel and Luke’s special day.
Love Finds You in Liberty, Indiana Page 14