by K Alexander
"Move."
Her hoarse voice is barely more than a murmur. Inching along the metal surface Claire approaches the staircase, and is about to put her foot on the first step when too many things happen simultaneously.
A shot from behind her is immediately answered by a shot from above, and in the same moment as the sound rings out and she begins to flinch, Ryan's arm wraps around her waist from behind. The soldier pulls her down onto the steel grate roughly and crouches over her, breath hissing from her throat as she cranes her neck to look upwards.
When she is satisfied with whatever it is she has been watching for she gets to her feet quickly, lifting Claire clumsily with her by hooking an arm around her waist. Trying to assist Claire wraps a hand around Ryan's shoulder, yanking it down in instant recoil when she feels the sticky wet mass on the soldier's shirt. With a sharp gulp she slides her hand up again, only to have it intercepted and removed smoothly by Ryan's hand.
"Ryan? You hurt?"
She can just make out the soldier's head shaking as she hisses at her. "Fine. Get moving." Pushing her forward firmly Ryan turns and moves back to the wall, pressing her back against it again. "Go!"
She stands at the top of the stairs, glancing down, the murmur of their unknown assailants above them, and without further thought turns back and throws herself against Ryan's body. This time when her hand makes contact with the woman's lean shoulder there is a definite flinch from Ryan.
"Damn it, Claire, go!"
Shoving her hand into Ryan's pocket Claire wraps her fingers around the small electronic chip and then takes off silently down the stairs. Ryan is left slamming her head against the wall behind her in furious frustration. "Fuck! Claire…!" Glancing upwards she tries to gauge the movements. Then, with gritted teeth, she slides the pistol into her waistband. Turning around she wraps both hands over the railing behind her and lifts her legs quietly over he the barrier. When she is standing on the edge of the landing she turns and steps off, dangling her legs down as far as her blazing hands will allow before she lets go and drops to the ground. The distance is further than she has judged and the landing jars her bones. Rolling adroitly she crouches low and scans the alley to her left and right. On the left side the faint pool of a streetlight illuminates the abandoned street sixty feet away, and on the right side the alley ends in a locked service entrance, decorated by large rubbish bins and stacked empty crates. Wondering with unease which direction Claire has chosen she turns to the right and lopes silently towards the crates, stepping between two and pressing her back to the rough whitewashed wall behind her. She slips out the pistol and lifts it, aiming it towards the staircase where she can now just make out the dark figures coming down silently. There are four of them and they move in a way she knows means nothing good. Keeping still she fixes her sight on the first man. He stops at the foot of the stairs and turns his head to murmur something to the man behind him, then pulls something out of his belt and studies it for a moment before they all take off in the direction of the street.
Ryan keeps the pistol up, her eyes focused, in case it is a trap. She is still frozen in the same position when a black van, driving at an unsuitable speed, shoots past the alley in the street below. From the sound of the engine she can tell that it is moving quickly away from her. Exhaling roughly Ryan slides down the wall to her haunches, growling in irritation at the pain the movement causes in her shoulder. For a moment she just sits, silent, before she rises to her feet and slips the pistol into the back of her waistband. Still moving soundlessly, placing her feet precisely, she approaches the base of the staircase and glances up.
It is as she glances back down that she spots Claire's golden head like a flash under the spot of a streetlight. The doctor comes running from the left side of the street, her eyes darting left and right before she enters the alleyway. When she sees Ryan at the stairs she stops and bends double, supporting her hands on her knees. The soldier rushes forward, her fingertips brushing the woman's back and sides.
"Claire? Are you hurt?"
She is still speaking in a hiss, but it comes out louder than intended and sounds overwhelming after the silence. The doctor nods her upside down head quickly.
"Fine. No breath." She gasps for air a few times before her breathing settles down and she can straighten up. "You okay, Ryan?"
"We need to get going before the police pitches up. C'mon." Wrapping a hand around Claire's elbow she leads her back into the street. They turn right and corner the building, entering the dark parking area where the Trailblazer is parked. Claire scrabbles around in the bag and pulls out the keys.
"Who's driving?"
"You are." Ryan waits patiently for Claire to get in and unlock the passenger door. Before she gets in she slips the pistol from her waistband and puts it into the cubbyhole. They pull out of the parking area and at the street Claire turns left, driving past the alley again. The very next street has a gas station on the corner, and Ryan instructs Claire to pull in. They fill up the SUV and then leave White Sulphur Springs, Claire driving cautiously until she is on the highway moving east towards Harlowton. When the soldier is sure that they are not being followed she sits back against the seat, her breath leaving her in a loud whoosh. "So. What happened?"
Claire smiles a little shakily in the darkness. "Luck was on my side. You wouldn't believe it."
"Give it a shot." The doctor groans at the pun. "Sorry."
Claire's voice is somewhere between amused and nervous as she recalls her actions. "Well, I went into the street, and then from there I ran to the gas station. It was the only place with its lights still on. There were two guys in a Taurus filling up, so I knocked on the window and asked one of them for directions to Helena. While he was talking I dropped the … DEX into his car."
Ryan shifts incredulously in her seat. "And then?"
"And then he made an unpleasant comment and I told him that if he saw my husband coming up on his tailgate tonight he'd better be sure to step on the gas." She shrugs. "And then I hid around the corner until the guys left and the van went by."
In the darkness the soldier shakes her head as she opens the cubbyhole and begins to root through it. "You've got a quick mind, doctor. And phenomenal luck. What if there hadn't been anybody at the station?"
"I don't know. I hadn't thought that far. Or at all, actually, up until that point. What are you looking for?" Claire turns her head and peers at Ryan in the darkness. "Were you hurt?"
"Yes." Her candid answer catches the blonde off-guard, and she has no time to respond before the soldier continues. "You were brave, Claire. But if you ever do something like that again I'll shoot you myself." When the doctor doesn't answer Ryan puts a hand on her arm. "Don't think that I don't appreciate it. But I can look after myself, and if something happens to you because you're trying to help me, I wouldn't deal well with that. Okay?"
"Okay." Claire's voice is slightly petulant.
"It's not good enough, Claire. I don't want you to protect me. We could both get hurt that way. Do you understand? And say yes as if you mean it."
"YES." The doctor's voice is strident, but when she speaks again her tone is softer. "Yes. I'm sorry. I was trying to help because you were hurt."
"Thank you." In the darkness Ryan shifts slightly. "Are you wearing a belt?"
"I hate questions that start like that coming from you. No. Why?"
Ryan lifts the black bag onto her lap and searches through the contents. Not finding what she's looking for she puts it back on the floor at her feet.
"Claire, pull over for a moment."
The doctor complies and is surprised when Ryan asks for the keys and gets out, opening the hatch at the back of the SUV. When she gets back into the vehicle and passes back the keys she's holding something bundled in her hand.
"What's that?"
For an answer Ryan switches on the inside light. In her hand is a short length of nylon towing rope, which she hands over to Claire. As the doctor takes the rope uncomprehendi
ngly her eyes fall on Ryan's left arm, covered in blood, and she inhales sharply. Lifting the arm towards her without expression Ryan nods towards her own upper arm.
"I need a tourniquet." When Claire raises wide worried eyes to her she cocks her head impatiently. "Come on." With her instruction the blonde ties the rope around her arm, looping it under the armpit and over the shoulder several times. It is poor and looks extremely uncomfortable. When she is finished Claire studies Ryan's face anxiously.
"Is it going to help?"
"Tough place." The soldier starts to shrug and then stops the motion, reaching up to switch off the inside light instead. "I need you to find a hospital in Harlowton."
Claire feels gooseflesh running down her back at this atypical acknowledgment of pain. Her voice is quavering slightly when she speaks. "White Sulphur Springs is closer. I'm going to turn around."
"No. When they realize they've been duped that'll be their starting point."
"I understand that, but I'd rather you didn't bleed to death!"
Hearing the fright in Claire's voice Ryan moves to pat her leg, wincing as she tries to move her left arm. "Claire. Don't panic. Just keep driving. I'm fine."
"You keep saying that, and I doubt you've ever been fine! You wouldn't know it if it bit you in the ass!" Claire is vehement, but at least she keeps the SUV pointed eastwards. Gritting her teeth Ryan shifts her left hand over and touches the blonde's thigh.
"Let's go, Walsch."
Silently the doctor starts the vehicle and pulls onto the road again. Ryan puts on the radio and then pulls the bag closer again, rifling through it until she finds her other shirt. Wadding it up she wedges it under the tourniquet, at the top of her bicep just under the collarbone. The painful pressure makes her swallow once convulsively before she slides her right hand down the side of the seat, and then, uncomfortably, on the left side. Finding the lever she pulls it and pushes her seat backwards so that she is reclining slightly.
"Claire?"
The doctor doesn't answer.
"Claire?"
"Are you going to die?"
"No." She doesn't even try to sit up. "I'm not that easy to get rid of. After the apocalypse it'll be just me and the cockroaches left, okay?" The blonde doesn't respond to her ribbing. Sighing, she tries again. "Look, I'm strong…"
Claire interrupts. "I hate to break it to you, Ryan, but I don't even know how you're still standing. In the last three days, when you haven't been throwing up and popping pain pills you've been bleeding."
"Sure. And I can tell you I'm getting bloody tired of losing bodily fluids." The soldier sniffs quite indignantly and Claire cannot help but laugh a little and shake her head. "Okay, so physically I'm not at my best, doc, but mentally I'm way up there. Trust me."
"I do." With a slight sigh Claire shakes her head. "I really don't know why."
"I don't, either, Claire. I don't know why you're not leaving." The soldier is quiet for a moment. "What's going on?"
"Million-dollar question, that. Can I phone a friend?" Shrugging, the doctor bites her bottom lip in an unusual show of uncertainty. "You abducted me against my will, used me as a hostage to escape from an institution, and dragged me around the countryside against my will. What's not to stay for?"
Ryan emits a husky chuckle. "I don't get you, doc."
"Join the queue." Claire taps her finger against the steering wheel for a minute before she speaks again. "Ryan? There's something I don't understand? Why did Victor Banks say DEX was a gas?"
"He really didn't know." Ryan's mouth curves into a smile in the darkness. "He was telling the truth."
"So you hit him in the head for nothing? He won't be very happy with you, I'm sure."
"He'll be fine. He'll understand. Besides, it was a twofold gesture. If they found him intact after I left with the information they'd know he gave it me of his own free will. His dignity's important to him. I tried to let him keep some."
"Nice of you."
"That's me. Nice to the core."
They drive in silence for more than half an hour, and it is Ryan who speaks just after they pass the sign letting them know that Harlowton is 22 miles ahead. "Claire? You need to start talking to me." Her normally hoarse voice is fainter than usual.
Scowling anxiously Claire reaches out with her right hand and touches Ryan's thigh in the darkness. "What's going on?"
"I'm fading a little. Don't worry - just give me something to pay attention to."
"Okay." Trying to push down the rising panic Claire casts around for something to talk about. "I don't have much to tell you in the way of a personal life. Honestly. I'm the most boring person I know." The slight chuckle from the darkness to her right gratifies her. "I work fourteen-hour days at the office, go home, eat a pre-prepared dinner and go to bed. No pets, no parties, no wild wicked habits."
"Pity."
"Hah. You sound fine to me." She pats the leg under her hand slightly. "Over weekends I go to the movies, museums, that sort of thing."
"You weren't joking. You are boring." The soldier's voice is light. "Family?"
"My parents are divorced. My mother's is a therapist too - she lives with an absolute ass in Washington. Dad's got a girlfriend a little older than I am and runs a bait shop in Florida. He's made a career of his midlife crisis."
"Sounds lovely."
"All-American. I have a sister in Sacramento. Andy's an archeologist - she's just finished her doctorate too."
"Impressive. Do you get along?"
"Like a house on fire. We're very close. She's older by two years, but we were always mistaken for twins."
"So she's beautiful too." There's a second of silence. "Ignore me. I'm not well. Hallucinating. Rambling."
"That's what it takes to tell me I'm beautiful? Thanks a lot." Ryan can tell from Claire's voice that she's smiling. "I spoke to her when you were sleeping at the hotel."
"She must be scared for you."
"I told her I was okay and she knows I wouldn't lie to her." Claire dismisses the topic. "How are you feeling?"
"Pale."
Accidentally the blonde brushes against Ryan's left hand, and immediately wishes she hadn't. Under the bandage her fingers are congealed with blood and her skin is icy cold.
"Ryan? It's not too far now. Hold on, okay?" She pushes the speedometer up a little more. "Don't go anywhere. Ryan?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry. I dismissed your case so glibly. I misjudged the situation - and you. I couldn't see past what I thought was right."
"Come on, Walsch." Under Claire's hand the soldier's muscles twitch. "Who would have believed the voice in my head was real? Nobody could have predicted this."
"I know. But I should have listened to you better. A lot of what you needed was for somebody not to treat you like a freak. I should have been that person. I should have known better."
"Are you staying because of guilt, Claire?"
"No. I just… " She shakes her head at herself. "I wonder what keeps you going. You're such an incredibly strong person. You've been beaten and hurt and broken down, and on the outside you're busted, but on the inside you're still fighting like none of that matters."
"That sounds like you, Claire."
"No, it sounds like the exact opposite of me. I'm busted on the inside and working on the surface."
"Not true. You're fine too. You just need to take your life back."
"How do I do that, Ryan?" In the blackness of night her grief is palpable. "Where do I begin? I've spent a long time telling myself that I don't need more than I have."
"It's not about what we need, Claire. If we went with need we could probably survive on the minimum, yes, but it's about wanting and having. If you don't want, and you don't move forward to grasp what you want, you'll stay in the same place forever. You have to want more than just getting by. You have to think you deserve better."
"Do I?"
"Yes. Don't doubt that."
"How can you be sure?" Claire withdraws he
r hand from Ryan's arm. "You don't know me."
"You can tell a lot by the way people handle themselves in stressful situations. You're a strong person."
"I don't feel that way." Claire changes the conversation adeptly. "What is it, Ryan? That pushes you on, I mean?"
The soldier shifts a little in her seat. "I have to move forward. Back isn't an option. Stopping isn't an option."
They enter the outskirts of Harlowton and Claire begins to look around for signboards, breathing a sigh of relief when she spots the telltale cross. Following the signs she glances quickly over at Ryan, the soldier half-illuminated by the street lights. "Hey, I found it."
There is no reply. Frowning, her heart jumping a little, she repeats herself. Still the soldier remains quiet, and when she peers at the woman's face it is unresponsive. Putting out a hand she shakes Ryan's knee.