Surrender To You

by Janey, C. S.

  “The rules are, you do what I say, as long as I say ‘Simon says’ - I’m sure you remember this game, don’t you?”

  “But—”

  He put one finger over my mouth. “Simon says you aren’t allowed to talk unless I tell you to.”

  I scowled at him but remained quiet, the idea of playing the game oddly appealing as it made my stomach clench.

  “Now,” he said as he removed his finger. “Simon says to ask me to go with you to the party.”

  I didn’t know whether to be amused or turned on at the way he commanded me with this game. Amused, I played along.

  “Simon, will you go to this party with me?”

  His eyes practically danced with amusement. “Yes, I would be honored.”

  Removing his hand from mine, it skimmed up my leg and to my waist. His hand stopped there, resting lightly. “Now, Simon says you have to kiss me.” His hand tightened on my midsection as I opened my mouth to protest. “Ah ah, you know the rules. You have to do what Simon says. And I know you want to. But if you don’t kiss me, I can’t know that you actually like me.”

  I gulped even as he just sat completely still, watching me.

  “It’s just a kiss, Elle,” he reassured me. “You may think I kiss like a frog, but you can’t know if you don’t try.”

  “I’m not sure…”

  “Our lips are inches apart, you’ve only got to barely move forward—”

  I brought my hands up to his shoulders, stopping him in mid-sentence and smiled as his eyes widened.

  Then it dawned on me. Simon wasn’t sure I liked him romantically and didn’t want to be the first one to make a move.

  “Simon didn’t say—”

  “Simon should shut up,” I advised as I slid my arms around his neck and touched his lips with mine.

  He smiled against my mouth, his arms circling my waist, enclosing my body inside of them.

  My first thought was that it was entirely different than when Stefan and I were together.

  With him, kissing and touching was explosive, like a passion neither of us could control. It started out as instant hotness, our bodies aching to be together as quick as possible. Our fervor matched his temper in its fierceness, it’s refusal to be denied no matter what lay between us.

  The feeling with Simon was similar to turning the heat on and having it slowly warm up the room, or a blaze started in the fireplace that slowly builds up until the flames are so high they are licking the chimney. Soon, I knew I would be aching to touch that fire, no matter if it burned me because it was just that irresistible.

  I wiggled to get closer and seeming to recognize what I wanted, he pulled me onto his lap so I straddled him. His hands didn’t stray from around my waist though and I sighed into his mouth as I pulled away enough to speak.

  “Touch me.”

  His arms tightened around me and I felt him flexing his hands, gripping the back of my shirt almost desperately.

  “I can’t,” he ground out. “If I do that, I won’t be able to stop and I’m not that kind of man.”

  I froze and looked him straight in the eye, lifting a brow. “Not the kind of man…to what? Have sex with the girl he ‘Simon said’ into becoming his girlfriend?”

  He grinned even as his face reddened. “Uh…well,” he swallowed and I felt my mouth drop open. “Yes.”

  “You aren’t saying what I think you’re saying are you?”

  I’d give it to him, he was brave. His eyes never strayed from mine as he nodded.

  Handsome, funny and kind Doctor Simon was a thirty-seven year old never married virgin.

  Oh boy.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  I started to get up off his lap, feeling awkward all of a sudden.

  “No,” he objected, tugging me back down. “Please stay.”

  “How—what—” I didn’t know what to say, or what to do with my hands. I finally decided to place them back on his shoulders, which seemed innocuous enough. I sat very still, almost statue-like.

  “Relax, Elle,” he said soothingly, gliding his hands up and down my sides. “You can’t catch it.”

  I tried to suppress a giggle and failed.

  Then he started laughing and I let out a breath, my body softening. “Okay now that we have that awkwardness out of the way, I can explain if you want.”

  Hearing the restraint in his voice, I could only guess at the depths of his self-control when it came to his obvious self-imposed virginity. Tilting my head to the side, I admired him with what I hoped was a calm demeanor. “Yes, I do.”

  His mouth quirked in amusement at me, but he glanced away, as if suddenly lost in thought.

  “My father was a horrible womanizer. My parents used to fight all the time and when I was ten, my mother got fed up and divorced him. I later found out that he’d pretty much cheated on her their whole marriage, and even beforehand. This was later though. He demonstrated his ways to me when I’d go visit him and it seemed like every other week, he’d have a new girlfriend over while it was his time with me.

  “So many of them were just with him for his money, others actually started out thinking he was a great human being until he dumped them within weeks of meeting them. I was disgusted by his behavior but visiting seemed like the ‘right’ thing to do. Eventually though, I got to the age where I became so busy that I used school and other things as an excuse not to visit. I also became very determined not to become him.

  “In order to keep my promise, I stayed single all through high school, then college although that was more because I was too busy preparing for med school. Got into medical school and wanted to do really well, plus not stress anyone else out with my schedule. By the time residency ended, I had hit thirty and started working.

  “I finally started going on dates, but none of them ever went anywhere. One thing or another would prevent us from going out, or they’d find someone who could give them more of their time, etcetera. Then I moved here and until I met you, I’d only been on two dates, both with women who never called me again.”

  He sucked in a breath as he looked back at me.

  Me, I was blown away by his explanation. Here was a man who respected women, so much he avoided involving himself with them for years as to not feel like he was using them in the same manner his father had, and wanted nothing more than to have a relationship that ended up with having a family.

  In that moment, I fell in love with Simon just a little.

  And promptly doubled my troubles.

  “I’ve rendered you speechless.”

  “Ah…” I cleared my throat, finding it hard to form my thoughts into words. “No. I just…what to say? That whole explanation was…so much sexier than you intended it to be I think.”

  His hands, which had fallen to my thighs, bit into them at my words. “And just why is my self-imposed sexual exile sexy?”

  I moved, bringing our bodies as close to one another as possible, less than an inch apart from our lips to our stomachs. As close as two people could be while dressed, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled my hips almost imperceptibly. A groan fell from his lips even as his hands clutched my hips, holding me still.

  I moved to rest my head in the crook of his shoulder, sighing. “It just is. It’s unexpected and well, hard to explain, but I think you exhibited a self-control any person would be proud to call their own.”

  “From my current position, it seems like making me lose control would please you,” he growled.

  I wiggled for good measure, giggling as he swore. Then, I lifted my head and found his hot, needy gaze locked on me.

  “I should go,” he said with a frown. “I need to get to bed.”

  Looking up at the clock, I was shocked to discover just how late it was. “You’re too late, Cinderella,” I teased him, laughing. “It’s midnight and you’ll turn into a pumpkin any minute now.”

  He snickered, even as his hands toyed with the hem of my shirt, wanting to explore yet hesitant.


  I arched a little and one slipped under my top, the heat of his skin against mine causing me to gasp and his control to crack just a little.

  Finding this as sensual as I did aroused me like nothing else ever had. Knowing that he hadn’t touch anybody else in a similar way, the reverence in his soft, nervous caresses had me curving into him again, desiring the stroke of his hand elsewhere.

  “Elle…” he breathed my name, trailing off as his free hand found the back of my neck and tugged our faces closer. “Kiss me goodbye.”

  Simon’s soft plea was swallowed up in our mouths meeting again, tongues mating lazy and slow as he moaned, rocking us together all on his own this time. My hands slid up into his hair, guiding him almost as much as he guided me. For a few moments, I wondered if this would go on forever and part of me hoped it would.

  Yet when his hand roamed around front and found my breast, he pulled it away as if scalded, disconnecting our lips as well. Gently lifting me off his lap, he placed me next to him before standing up. Running a hand through his already mussed hair, he stood facing away from me as he spoke.

  “I’ll call you after my shift, okay?”

  “Uh…yeah, sure.”

  He didn’t say anything else as he headed out of the room. Then, he tossed a grin over his shoulder just before turning the corner. A moment after the door shut quietly behind him, I flopped back onto the couch and burst into laughter, feeling so joyous I just had to let it out.

  ~*~

  Penny invited me out to lunch on Wednesday.

  As we continued to sit in the diner after finishing our food, I checked my phone for what seemed like the millionth time.

  “Ya know looking at it repeatedly won’t make him send you a message any faster right?”

  I blushed, putting down my phone and sitting back. I knew she was right, even though it had been three days since I’d seen Simon. We had talked and he said that perhaps we’d see each other this evening but so far, no message from him.

  “You’re right. I guess I’m just nervous because it’s been so long since I actually dated anyone.” Stefan didn’t count, we’d just been having sex but I wouldn’t tell his sister that.

  Her eyebrow rose even as she smiled. “How long? You didn’t date anyone while you were gone?”

  “I did once. A few weeks and it was a huge mistake.”

  She laughed, leaning forward. “You’re being silly Elizabeth. He spends all his free time talking to you and so far, his days off with you. From what you’ve said, he’s also totally into you.”

  “I know,” I said with a sigh. “I just don’t want to mess things up. I seem to be good at it.”

  “Bull. Chill out and relax.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine, fine.” I decided to change the topic. “So, where is this party going to be exactly?”

  “My house, actually,” she replied with a grin. “Although that wasn’t the plan at first, I insisted.”

  “Oh? Why?”

  “Because then I can invite anybody I want.”

  “Nice!”

  “Yep. Which means you can bring Simon and nobody will say a word to you. Well, they better not.”

  My eyes watered at her kindness and I groaned, putting my face into my hands. “I’m sorry, don’t mind me. I’m such a sap lately.”

  “Its okay,” I heard her say a little lower. “A lot has happened.”

  I peeked at her through my fingers. “Seems you’re the only one who sees it that way. I’m surprised you aren’t rooting for your brother.”

  “Oh, a part of me is,” she admitted. “I’m a loyal sister that way. But I also think what he did was wrong and I’ve told him so many times.”

  Since I agreed with her, all I could do was nod. “Is Yvette dancing on tables in her happiness yet?”

  At that, Penny snorted.

  “Honestly, I think that girl is insane. I love her, she’s my sister, but sometimes I wanna smack her upside the head.”

  Now I was the one grinning. “Me too!”

  Just then, my phone buzzed, making us both jump.

  “Really! We’ve been waiting and it shocks us!” Penny threw her hands up. “Be right back, going to the bathroom.”

  She took off and I picked up my phone, where a message from Simon awaited me.

  ‘Sorry no text earlier, busy day. Miss you (can I say that yet?). Dinner at my place, six?’

  Seeing the ‘miss you’ sent a rush of affection through me, his ‘can I say that yet’ an adorable question a man well versed in dating would have never asked, which only made it all that more sweet. As Penny came back toward the table, I typed what I hoped was an equally pleasant response.

  ‘No worries, lunch with a friend. Me too (yeah, you can if I can). Dinner sounds good, address? Looking forward to it. Should I dress up or is this a clothing optional dinner? xo’

  I hit send just as she sat down and her pursed her lips, gazing at me expectedly.

  “Dinner at his place.”

  She let out a squeal, making some heads turn our way.

  “Geeze girl, calm down. It’s not like we’re gonna have sex.”

  Her mouth rounded as my phone buzzed in my hands and I looked down, only to feel my face heat at his words.

  ‘Doesn’t matter, would want you in anything I’m sure. Cant wait, my address is…—-’

  Penny snatched the phone out of my hand to read it, then glared at me. “Not gonna have sex? That’s not what it sounds like to me with ‘would want you in anything’ at all.”

  It wouldn’t be appropriate to tell her Simon’s secret, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “Ugh,” I rolled my eyes, grimacing as I took my phone back. “It’s not been long since I was with your brother, Penny. It’s too soon.”

  “Yuck! I know I am twenty-seven but I still don’t want to imagine my brother having sex!”

  I snickered at her childish response. “What, you’ve never had sex?”

  She busted out laughing. “Are you kidding me? I’ve dated, and had sex. Not that I’d share that with my brother, he gives most men a dirty look.”

  “Yeah, that’s cuz he knows what men are like.” Like himself, especially. I didn’t say that out loud. ”Are you dating anyone now?”

  The beautiful flush crossing her face, along with the sudden dreaminess in her eyes, told me all I needed to know.

  “I’m not ready to tell anyone,” she hissed. “It’s only been a few months.”

  “Hey, your secret is safe with me. Heaven knows I have enough of them already, it’s just one more.”

  “Ooh tell me!”

  I shook my head and she leaned in.

  “Anybody I know?”

  “Who do you know that I don’t know?”

  “Good point.”

  With that, we laughed and left the diner, parting ways after she made me promised to bring Simon by before the party.

  ~*~

  I pressed the doorbell to Simon’s place at five minutes until six.

  Within seconds the door swung open, where I found myself staring at his wet, bare chest. Taking in his broad shoulders, which his clothing had only hinted at, my eyes instantly traveled down his surprisingly toned body, only to discover his lower half wrapped in a towel. Snapping my head up, he stared at me with an unrepentant grin.

  “Are you going to come in or just stand there admiring me?”

  Feeling brazen, I stepped inside only to bring my body flush against his, my gaze holding his.

  At his sudden intake of breath, I put one hand on his chest and slid it down slowly. “So, by the way you greeted me, I take it that I should have arrived in nothing but an overcoat.”

  He captured my hand before it reached the towel, holding it in place as his eyes darkened at my comment with a desire he couldn’t hide, his body tensing.

  “I just stepped out of a quick shower and didn’t want to keep you waiting too long,” he murmured, the low timbre filled with a need he ad
amantly denied. “Let me put some clothes on real fast.”

  I hooked my other arm around his neck and stood on tip toe, kissing the side of his mouth. His free arm wrapped around my waist as he moaned, the other reflexively squeezing our hands that were already connected. I moved down his jaw slowly, each successive peck causing his breathing to quicken and his hand to clench and unclench my blouse. His eyes had closed and I smiled to myself before moving back to his mouth, my mouth just shy of touching his.

  “Have you ever let a woman touch you, Simon?”

  He shook his head, yet didn’t move to disconnect from me.

  Taking that as permission, I slid my hand up and into his silky hair, bringing our lips in contact on an exhale.

  Never one to be in charge before, I found my sudden control to be a high, near ecstasy. To have such a big and strong man at my mercy was a heady sensation. Applying a bit of pressure, his mouth opened under mine and my tongue swept in, only to find his ready and willing to battle. His hand released mine, coming up to cup my jaw as the other slid down and cupped my ass, moaning into my mouth.

  With that small surrender, every thought aside from getting closer fled from my mind. I didn’t think of my problems, of what Stefan and Grace had done, of where my life was going. The only thing on my mind became touching, kissing and exploring Simon; everything else didn’t matter and I didn’t want to care.

  I took the opportunity to explore again, my nails lightly scraping down until they met the towel, then around his side, to up and down his back. His grip tightened, his hunger unleashed more by the second, the war our tongues waged sending shocks of pleasure through me.

  My body was on fire now and he had become the only one able of putting it out.

  When he ripped his mouth away from mine, I couldn’t prevent the sob of disappointment from escaping.

  “We’ve got to stop,” he rasped, gritting his teeth even though his hold on me didn’t lessen. “If we don’t…”

  “Don’t,” I said without opening my eyes. It came out soft, a whisper in the air because the ability to do more than breathe was beyond me at this point. “Please don’t stop.”

  He swore, his hand releasing my behind only to slide under my skirt to grab my bare cheek with a firm grip. “No panties? You’re going to be the death of me!”