by Janey, C. S.
People I loved and people who had loved me, all left out in the cold as to the change in my behavior. As to why I’d left and had never bothered to call them, or come to visit.
I didn’t know the right thing to say, searching for the words to tell her I understood. Yet she must have taken my silence as a refusal to speak of what had happened.
She looked away, her voice quavering as she put the car in gear and drove away from the curb. “Where were you going? I will take you there.”
“Simon’s.”
I gave her an address and within minutes, she pulled in the driveway.
“You sure he’s here?”
“No.” I shrugged. “He won’t answer my calls or texts.”
“Do you want me to wait? It’s still pouring…”
Shaking my head, I grabbed the door handle.
“T-thanks,” she rushed ahead, no doubt afraid I’d get out before she finished. “For coming to the party, I mean. No matter what I did, I’m glad you realize its not her fault. She loves you.”
I nodded, unable to speak for the tears clogging my throat and got out. She sat there, probably waiting for me to go to the door, but I didn’t move. Finally she reversed and drove off.
I walked up to the door and stood as close as possible to avoid getting further drenched. I rang the doorbell. I knocked. Only silence greeted me.
Stupid. I was stupid for coming here without knowing if he was here or not. I probably should have looked in the garage window, but I wouldn’t do it now with it still pouring just inches away from where I stood.
In one final, desperate attempt to get him to answer me, I sent him a text.
‘Are you home, I’m outside, raining. Need to talk. Please answer me.’
A minute or two passed with no response. I couldn’t be sure because my phone beeped at me and died. Even if he answered me, I’d have no way to know.
Cursing myself and the impulsive decision to come see a man who had obviously washed his hands of me, I curled into a ball near the corner of the door, hugging my knees and sobbing as I tried to figure out a way I could get home. I should have had Grace wait.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
More like idiot, idiot, idiot.
Just when I thought I’d have to walk home, the door moved behind me.
With a cry of surprise, I fell backward, sprawled on my back in his entryway. A very angry looking Simon stared down at me as he threw his hands in the air.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?”
~*~
I stared up at him, so glad to see him the ability to speak evaded me.
“What the—-? Where the hell is your car, Elle?”
He crouched down and gathered me into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck while simultaneously placing my head in the crook of it. Shivering, an involuntary sob escaped, as the coldness finally registered.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “What possessed you to walk here in the rain?”
“W-w-was s-sunny.” Damn, my teeth chattering made talking painful. I refrained from attempting to explain any further, trying to warm my face using the heat of his throat. He was warm, I snuggled in closer and his arms tightened.
The door slammed shut and he strode away, carrying me up the stairs.
When he stopped walking I lifted my head, spotting his bed a few feet away.
“Can you stand? You gotta take these clothes off.”
I nodded and he slowly lowered me. When I was steady, he quickly stripped me, the shivers wracking my body with every new rush of air against my skin. Walking away for a few seconds, he came back with a towel in hand. With the attitude of a man on a mission, he toweled me dry before guiding me over to the bed and under the blankets. I pulled them up over my head, curling into a ball to try and get warm. I didn’t know what he was doing. I heard him moving around the room, opening and shutting drawers.
The next thing I knew, he crawled into bed and lay next to me. His arms wrapped around me from behind, his naked body flush against mine. He threw a leg over mine to hold them still, then the room fell silent. One of his hands rubbed my side, around to my stomach, down my leg slightly only to curve over my ass and back up my side. My trembling lessened, my teeth slowly chattering less and less until I sufficiently warmed up.
Still, he didn’t speak. I wondered if he fell asleep, or if he wanted to warm me up only to take me back home once it was done. I felt him breathing against my neck, the weight of his arms and legs a delicious heaviness, and I sighed.
“Are you awake?”
My words were low, intentional in case he had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to wake him. I needn’t have worried.
“No.”
I worried my lower lip with my teeth, unsure what to say. The silence deafening in its stillness, I tried to get him to talk me.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me? Or yell at me?”
“No.” A pause, a tightening of his arms around me sent my heart soaring. “Do you want me to yell at you?”
“I…I might deserve it.”
When he placed a sweet kiss on my shoulder, I almost burst into tears.
“Don’t be silly, Elle. I’d never yell at you.”
“A-aren’t you angry at me?” My voice trembled. I hated the way I felt, my vulnerability shining through. “You were ignoring me.”
“No, not angry. Disappointed. Especially after what you’d said to Stefan, because I thought you were sincere.”
I slammed my eyes shut, my estimation of what he’d thought of my words to Grace true. “I did mean it. But Grace hurt me and she hadn’t even apologized. I—it was childish,” I finished lamely.
“You ripped into her as if you were a jealous lover, Elle. Childish isn’t the word.”
“It’s not what you think.”
At that he flipped me onto my back before hovering over me, his eyes glinting devilishly. The very sight of it had me catching my breath.
“What is it then, Elle? Simon says you have to tell me.”
His joke didn’t have the desired effect, tears clouding my vision as I admitted the real reason I’d ripped into Grace like I had.
“She might’ve been mine,” I whispered. “I’d have been a mother by now, maybe.”
“I see,” he said, his gaze thoughtful. “With Stefan?”
I frowned, nodding my head. “Back then, yes, it would have been.” I sighed. “I’m hurt she lied to me, but I guess I am also jealous. I’ve always wanted to be a mother.”
Simon gazed down at me, his whole body relaxing noticeably. “Is that all you want, Elle? A baby?”
“No,” I shook my head, lowering my eyes to his lips as he unconsciously licked them. “I want more than that. I want a family.”
“I know the feeling.”
My mouth went dry at the sudden heat in his eyes.
“Flip onto your stomach,” he said with a groan.
“Why?”
I swore his eyes burned brighter as he answered, smiling. “I want to touch you.”
The very thought of him doing so made me want to moan. I turned over, unsure where to put my hands and finally just deciding I’d rest them on the pillow above my head. Simon nipped at my ear, chuckling in my ear.
“I may be a virgin in the literal sense of the word sweetie, but I know more than you think.”
Oh, I knew that and counted on it. I wasn’t going to admit it out loud though. For a moment, I thought he would say more, yet I found myself disappointed.
He skimmed his hands down, rubbing my shoulders, swirling his fingers, massaging my back with an occasional unexpected kiss to make me squirm. Then, they were on my ass; rubbing, assessing, appreciative. The low, rough timbre when he spoke gave me goosebumps.
“Some day - not tonight - I’m going to take you like this, with your lovely bottom lifted enough that I can slide home. All so I can watch you clutch those sheets in your hands, your body shuddering under mine in that beautiful submissive posi
tion.”
I wished, right then, that I was the type of woman who could come from simply being spoken to. His voice would serve well for that.
Then, he moved. I couldn’t see him. I felt him though as he slid up my body, his frame engulfing mine from above. His hands swallowed up mine, his mouth teasing my ear and neck as he licked and nibbled. I arched my ass up into him, my body on fire for something.
I wanted his touch on me, and I was sick of waiting.
“Are we going to have sex soon then?”
“Oh yes, tonight. Right now,” he promised. “Except I want to see the face of the woman I love the first time. In case you’re wondering, that would be you.”
My breath hitched, the words slamming into me. “Simon…”
He gripped my hip with one hand, squeezing, comforting. “Elle.”
I didn’t hesitate. Isn’t that what I came here to tell him? How much he meant to me.
He knew why I’d come.
No more hiding, no more lying to myself.
“Let me turn over.”
He eased up and I turned back over, the recipient of a breathtaking smile I’d seen once before. Lifting a hand, I cupped his face in my hand; his head tilted automatically, seeking more as his eyes fluttered closed. With a bit of pressure, I brought his face to mine and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“I love you, too.”
Like a storm unleashed, he took possession of my mouth as I wrapped my legs around him. He held my neck, his tongue diving into my mouth and around, moaning as he rocked into me. My hands slid around to grab his hair, battling with him for domination only to let him lead anyway.
His free hand roamed, down to my breast to cup it. A pinch of the nipple had him chuckling as I gasped. Our mouths broke apart. He leaned over and took the other nipple in his mouth, licking, sucking and nipping it as he tortured the other one by plucking it as if it were a string instrument. Then, he released my neck only to glide that hand toward the part that ached most for his touch.
The silky slide of his hand on a place where only inches away lie the part of him it prepared for excited me. I bucked against his hand and he chuckled against my skin as he skimmed down with two fingers, opening me with one, the other joining the first only moments later. Then started the torturous dance. Aching to get closer, to finally have him inside me had me pleading before long.
“Please Simon…”
“Open your eyes,” he demanded.
I gave him what he wanted so he’d reciprocate in kind.
Bringing our bodies flush again, he held himself up with his arms once positioned just right.
Feeling him there, just out of reach, I mewled in protest.
Pressing a kiss to my lips, I felt his mouth curve as our gazes stayed connected.
“Simon says reach out and take what you want, Elle.”
I relaxed one leg so I could reach down, the other clamped on to apply just enough pressure to force his body forward. I positioned him just right, surging upward at the same time I used my leg to grip him. Bringing the other up, I put my arms around his neck as I arched up again.
Simon’s eyes closed on a groan, one hand going to hold my hip in what I gathered was a need for some control over movement. Still, he sunk inch by inch until finally, we couldn’t get any closer and I wanted to sob with the joy of it. His eyes opened again, the green darkened with desire.
“I’m afraid to move.” I laughed and his eyes widened. “I felt that.”
Grinning now, I rotated my hips gently.
“Shi—” I heard him grit his teeth. “Oh god, don’t.”
“If you think this is ecstasy, pull back and push back in.”
I loved seeing the look on his face as he did what I said. He sucked in a breath as he made as if to withdraw, only to let it out on a hiss once returned.
He stopped, gazing down at me.
“I don’t think—” He gulped. “I should stop.”
I shook my head, laughter bubbling in my throat.
“Kiss me, Simon and keep kissing me while you go as fast as you can.”
The widening of his eyes made me bust out laughing.
“What about you?” His theatrical whisper even as I saw the strain of him keeping still made my heart flutter.
“Next round.”
With one long stare at me, he did as I suggested. As our mouths made love to each other, ours bodies did the same. At first he hesitated, but then he gripped my ass with my guidance, taking a hint. In, out, speeding up until I thought he’d split me into a million pieces.
“Elle,” he grunted, the word a praise on his lips as he gripped me tightly, with one last long moan into my mouth.
“Welcome to sex, Simon,” I said with a giggle.
He rolled off, cracking open one eye.
“It’s official, I’ve got two decades to make up for.” He smiled. “Give me a few and we can get started on that.”
Laughing, I playfully smacked him in the head with a pillow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
My mother looked up at me from underneath her wide brimmed straw hat, hands covered in soil from her garden. “It wasn’t my place.”
She focused on her task again.
“Penny pretty much said the same thing.”
“Well honey, I honestly thought he’d tell you himself. When I realized he hadn’t yet, I tried to warn you something was coming at least.” Yes, she had, which was more than I could say for anybody else. “You still seeing that doctor?”
I almost asked how she knew, but then realized that while people didn’t seem keen to share information with me, nobody minded sharing mine with everybody else.
“Yeah. His name is Simon.” Something in my voice must have given away my feelings because she looked up at me again.
“Right, Simon. I’ve met him a few times.” She smiled. “Is he it then? What about Stefan?”
She put her hand up after clapping them together to get the soil off and I helped her stand. We headed inside. As she poured us some drinks, I answered her question.
“I told him it was never going to happen.”
“When was this?” She raised one eyebrow, taking a sip of her lemonade.
“Five days ago, at the party. You didn’t come, were you even invited?”
She nodded. “Penny asked me to the original one, but when they moved it, I already had plans.”
“Ah, well. There was a nice blow up at the end which started with Yvette yelling at me before pushing me to the ground.”
“She did what?” My mother’s voice rose in disbelief. “Why would she do such a thing? She’s always so quiet!”
“Because Simon came there. I thought he came because I asked him to, but Penny actually invited him. Yvette said neither of us belonged there. That I wasn’t family. Didn’t shock me really, she hadn’t liked me for a very long time. You remember her antics at the funeral, right?”
“Yeah, I do. Ever wonder why she dislikes you so much?”
“Yes. I wish I knew.” I laughed. “She accused me of hurting her brother not once, but twice. I agree with blaming me for years ago, but now? As if him lying to me should have been something I just accepted.”
“Sounds like she’s trying to convince a certain somebody that he’s better off without you.”
Something in her statement had my eyebrows rising, as if she were saying…
No, she couldn’t be.
Yvette had been around for so long that I forgot most of the time that she’d first been fostered by Liliana, then adopted at the age of twelve. She’d been an angry and depressed preteen, coming from a past involving an abusive alcoholic father and a drug addicted mother. Found roaming the streets at age ten, she had claimed her father had abandoned them and in desperation for drugs, her mother sold Yvette to a strange man. Who it was and how she’d ended up near to town had never been answered; she also hadn’t cared to share.
Stefan had b
een eighteen when Yvette had come to live with them, twenty when he’d legally became her brother.
I threw my mother a disgusted face.
“They’ve been brother and sister since the moment she came to live with them, even if it took two years for it to be legal.”
My mother shrugged. “It wouldn’t be that weird. She knows he’s not her brother. Just because he thinks of her as his sister doesn’t mean she sees him that way.”
I covered my face with my hands, groaning. “What makes you say this? I just…ugh.”
“Her actions scream jealousy to me. You and Stefan were only friends when she first met you. Then, two years later, you and he were dating. She wasn’t always mean to you. Didn’t you ever wonder why the sudden change in her attitude?”
No, she certainly hadn’t been. When he and I could drag her out of the house, she tagged along with such joy at being included. Even if we only went to the mall to walk around, she didn’t care. Every time I left, for two straight years, she hugged me and told me she couldn’t wait until we could do it again.
I rapidly began to feel sick.
Twelve years since Yvette had moved in, ten since she’d been adopted and Stefan and I had begun dating, and her attitude had done a one-eighty. I wouldn’t have put it together like that then - even her family had simply assumed her to just ‘being a teenager’ and let it go. I had let it go too; I’d been aware of her past and never held it against her.
“Oh god, you’re right!” I exclaimed with dawning horror. “I wonder if he knows.”
“Don’t you say a word to him,” my mother retorted with a scowl. “No need to embarrass the poor girl. He most likely has no clue.”
Just then, my phone lit up with a text message.
‘Can you come over? Wanna talk.’
The message had come from Grace. After her kindness in picking me up the other day, and her apology, I realized I had yet to say sorry to her for my behavior at the party. I text her back.
‘Sure, at my moms, leaving soon.’
I stood up and my mother did the same. “Okay, Grace wants to talk so I’m gonna go to her place.”
“Tell her I said hi and that she should bring Lyndsey over so I can give her the gift I bought.”