He undid the straps on my hands and kneeled in front of me.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but the first thing you told me was don’t trust the police, and I turned around and trusted their word about you, over you. I’m so, so sorry.”
He put his head in my lap and I argued a vicious inner battle with myself.
It’s not like we’ve known each other forever, he was just doing what he felt was right.
Leaning down, I kissed his ear softly, saying, “I thought you were completely insane too when we first met. On that, we are even. But just so you know, I do get to drug you at least once in this lifetime, and you can’t be mad.”
He smiled up at me as he unlatched my ankles.
“You can drug me whenever you want and I wouldn’t complain. Let’s get your clothes and get you out of here. We can go get Trey, and then you can rest.”
“So by letting me go without the police or anyone’s permission, that doesn’t make me a criminal, does it?” The last thing I needed was more drama to explain later down the road; wake up and my whole identity was gone, except for this one visit to the psych ward.
“I wrote everything up before I even came down to get you. You are fine and clear to go, per the doctor’s orders. “
Clearing my throat, I hesitated. “Have, um, arrangements been made for Lataya yet?”
Devon got that clinical look that he used to break any news he felt would be negative. “I made all the arrangements and took care of everything; it’s scheduled for tomorrow. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, or not to tell you.”
“Just get me to Trey. I’m ready to get out of here.”
We rode out to an area near Campostella; it was mostly Section-8 housing and a few overlooked trailer parks. It definitely wouldn’t have been the top of my list of choice areas to send Trey to on a day-to-day basis. Devon went inside to get him while I waited in the car, on high alert. I’d been around Rah and his boys enough in the beginning to know what corner boys looked like. They weren’t anything to worry about unless you bothered them. I was, however, worried about that agent who had called me. I knew I hadn’t dreamed or imagined that phone call. I’d checked my phone, and just like Devon said an incoming call didn’t even register during that time frame.
Something was going on, and I didn’t understand what or why, but I felt uneasy and anxious knowing Rah could be anywhere. Trey came outside, and I got out giving him the biggest watery, squeezy hug. He eventually whined to get in the back so he could finish watching his movie on his iPad.
“Chelle, you hungry?” Devon put his hand on my knee and squeezed.
“Can I have cake?” Trey yelled from the backseat.
I wasn’t, but I tried to perk up just a little for Trey since he hadn’t seen me in a week. “I think Ruby Tuesday’s has cupcakes. Devon, does Ruby Tuesday’s have cupcakes?” I asked in the most serious tone, like it was up for major discussion.
“Well, since I’m driving to Ruby Tuesday’s, I think they have cupcakes.” He screamed and Trey screamed.
“Mommy, can we save Taya cupcake too?”
I knew it was coming, he’d ask and I’d start crying.
Devon’s squeezed my knee. “We can do Ruby Tuesday’s another night, Michelle.”
Shaking my head at him, I wiped my nose and my eyes on my sleeve.
“Trey, baby, do you remember when we had that talk about Heaven and Daddy—”
“Michelle, can he have his cupcake first?” Devon tried to stop me.
Before I could finish asking, Trey answered, “I ’member, Mommy, and G-ma told me that she was gonna have to send Taya to Heaven. When the walls melt away you can see all the secrets. Did Taya go to Heaven already?”
We pulled into the restaurant parking lot and me and Devon were staring at each other, not knowing what to make of Trey’s words. Some minutes later we were all inside seated in our booth. Trey insisted on sitting by himself like a big boy. I was just trying to keep it together. I let him have his way for once, so long as he promised to behave.
“No. You know you wanted this dick.” Some teenagers behind us were making me rethink the seat and the restaurant all together. There was so much coughing, snickering, and inappropriate chatter going on.
Frowning, I leaned over and turned Trey’s headphones up on his movie.
I fiddled with the straw in my soda, debating something that had been floating around in my mind.
I nudged him with my shoulder, not looking up. “Devon, I have a question.”
Nudging me back he responded, “I have an answer.”
I stopped using my straw to pop bubbles in my soda and decided it was time to woman up. Looking him in the eye I said what was on my mind. “I heard you on the phone at the hospital, with a woman that day after I came out of Reena’s room. Who were you talking to?”
Devon frowned with a look that could have been confusion or, maybe, he was a bit taken aback. He’d started to answer when our waiter came back over. I was about to ask for a new seat when I realized it wasn’t our waiter.
He slid into the booth next to Trey. One of his hands was underneath the lapel of his jacket. He stared at Trey for a moment in a look of joy or shock before turning to me with those memorable embers of anger and hatred still burning in his eyes.
“Hey, Michelle, how’ve you been? No letters, no postcards, no forwarding address. It’s like you were trying to move on without a nigga. Scream or draw attention, and it’s happening.”
He nodded down at Trey, who’d barely glanced at him. He was a toddler the last time he’d seen Rah. I never showed him pictures because I wanted him to forget, in the event they ever met again, like now. I wanted Rah to see his son, growing up without him, unaware of him as his father. Trey was watching his owl movie for the fifth time in a row, not paying any mind to the adults at the table.
Rah put his arm around Trey, sliding off his headphones, tapping at his iPad. “What you got there, li’l man?” Rah asked Trey, his voice cracking, choked up with emotion.
“My iPad,” Trey whispered.
Rasheed started tapping on the screen. He put his head against Trey’s. “You know what that word says?” he asked Trey, sniffing quietly.
Trey shook his head up and down and his eyes got wide. “That’s ‘daddy.’ My daddy is in Heaven and—”
“What are you doing here?” I quickly snapped at him, destroying their bittersweet moment. The last thing I needed was for Trey to get talkative.
“I’m trying to find my moms. A little birdie pointed me in the direction of that fancy mental hospital. Imagine how exciting it was to see my favorite person in the passenger seat at the light beside me when I was tryin’ to find it.”
“No. You just high as fuck, and technically both y’all were fighting over this d-i-c-k,” the guy behind me bellowed and laughed.
The teens in the booth were getting loud, and a few restaurant guests were casting annoyed and disgruntled glances their way. I was praying it would be enough of a distraction to get a manager or a waiter over.
“Big!” Rah jumped up, looking over our heads, but his hand was still too close to his gun.
Damn, is that Big Baby? Guess they’re just gonna have themselves a reunion up—
Devon nudged me and I looked down. I took his cue and slowly reached underneath the table, blindly feeling for his hand. He handed me the car keys.
“If I can take him, you go,” Devon mumbled, his lips barely moving.
“Hold up, Rasheed? Dawg.” The guy in the booth who had been making all that noise behind me addressed Rah, sounding excited.
“I know that ain’t no motherfuckin’ Rasheed, triflin’, hoing, nasty, druggy, dopin’ ass.”
I didn’t recognize the hoarse, raspy woman’s voice coming from directly behind me.
I looked at Devon dumbfounded; he shrugged in return. Neither of us could see over the high-rested back of the booth seats, but I was able to lean just enough to see through a small gap betw
een the booth walls. The raspy voice was Shiree.
“You left me to run back to Big Baby? Really? Did you get rid of the baby too? I actually loved your ass.” Rasheed actually sounded hurt. I stared at him in awe, no this fool was not still making damn babies.
“Oh so, nigga, you loved her ass, huh?”
I mouthed the words “oh no” to Devon. I knew that voice just as well as I knew my own. That was Honey, and she did not by any means need to see me up in here with Trey having dinner without Lataya. I tried to peek and get a glimpse of her, but there was no way to do it without drawing attention to myself. The sound of her voice jarred me back to that night in my hospital room, but the sedatives they’d given me were so strong I could barely remember it now. It felt like a dream, and the girl I’d seen and heard didn’t even look like Honey. She might have been a cousin or someone I didn’t know if she was ever even there. But, Honey was right here, right now, and God help me, because I didn’t even have the one person she wanted back from me.
“Look, you high as fuck, we don’t need to handle this right here, just let it go girl,” Big said.
From all the stories Rasheed’s momma had told me, I was pretty sure she had a million and one “oh, shit” and “oh, no” moments. It explained why her hair had grayed all the hell out. I couldn’t help wondering if it was a gradual change, or if after one too many the whole thing just sprouts.
“Nah, this is exactly who I need to be handling. This is why it all started. So this is where it’s ending. Right here, right the fuck now. Because even though I’m the one who got locked up behind yo’ ass, had your baby, and then got you out of prison, you’re gonna stand here and say you loved her?” Honey shrieked at Rasheed.
Please just don’t let anyone come around this corner, look down, and see me. I’d rather take a gun and shoot myself than have to say what happened out loud if anyone asks where the baby’s at right now. It would just be too much for me to answer.
It was as if the director had yelled “action” and we were dropped smack in the middle of a bad Western. The cold metallic clink of guns cocking behind our heads was unmistakable. Customers started running out of the place. The most I could do was hope that we got out of there with a mild flesh wound. If you’ve ever heard an M-80 go off in the middle of a packed hallway in between classes, that’s what a gunshot in a restaurant sounds like. The sound hurt my ears and Trey cried out, throwing his hands over his before crawling under the table and into my lap. It was akin to raindrops on unsuspecting ants. The people and staff who hadn’t started fleeing ran, ducking and screaming, scattered in various directions toward exits.
“Pull a gun on me over a kid who ain’t even mine? That’s that bullshit. Get y’all asses the fuck up, take me to see my momma.”
We rushed out of the restaurant to the sound of sirens wailing in the distance.
Chapter 24
Hit the Brakes Like Errrrrrrrrrrrrr
We drove in silence, me sitting in the back with Trey. I wanted them to have as little contact as physically possible. The less the better; he’d just accepted the fact that his daddy was in Heaven. I couldn’t just Pet Cemetary Rasheed back into his life even though everyone seemed to keep jumping back into mine.
Devon led us in through the admin entrance so Rasheed wouldn’t get asked for ID and go on a shooting spree to get to his mom. I couldn’t figure out where the hell the special agent was now who had called me earlier. If they had so much intelligence out there and they were that worried, why weren’t they watching the hospital the moment his momma was brought in?
We followed Devon up through the back entrance, and I was hoping he had some kind of plan. None of the nurses were aware that we were walking hostages. How the hell do you blink a distress message at someone?
“Every now and again, I’ll have high-profile patients or people who need to get in or out without a ton of publicity. They’ll be in an area where the rules will need to be altered a little. I’ll have your mother brought up to the 5th floor you’ll be fine; the staff is used to it.”
Devon’s words reassured Rasheed, simultaneously squashing any hope I had for a random act of assistance. Rah paced the length of floor until his mother was just outside.
“Is that my momma? Why she strapped down like that? Let her in,” Rasheed growled at the door like a wounded bear.
“She’s dangerous and unstable. She might not know who you are.”
“Man, fuck outta here with that. That’s my mom; she knows me.”
Devon nodded and she was rolled in, he then dismissed the nurses. It was a bittersweet reunion. Rasheed was teary-eyed trying to hug his momma; she was doped up and strapped to the bed.
“Rasheed? Boy, they’d told me you passed on. Second saddest day of my life. Where’ve you been, what happened?”
“Yo, take her out of that shit. She don’t need to be in no shit like that,” Rasheed barked at Devon and he obliged, undoing the straps and letting her free.
“Why they do this to you, Momma? Was it because of me? Is this because of something I did? I ain’t dead. Look, I’m right here. This ain’t because of me is it?” he asked her pitifully. He sounded like a scared and worried little boy talking to his momma. Like my old Rasheed, not the angry shell of a man I’d gotten used to dealing with.
“No, my love, this is all me. Sometimes my memories are as crystal clear right in front of me, happening right now, and I can’t tell the difference between what’s now and what’s past. Everything look like it’s supposed to and feels real as you and right as rain baby. Other times I can’t remember how to brush my own teeth unless somebody shows me where or what a toothbrush is first.”
He looked at Devon like he wanted an explanation and he explained, “She’ll need to be in an institution or a full-care senior living facility. We had one slip-up here where she didn’t take her meds and”—he hesitated—“she drowned Michelle’s daughter in the sink in her bedroom.”
Actually hearing the words out loud to describe what had transpired made tears fall down my cheeks. Rasheed looked at me and seemed completely bewildered as to how something like that could happen. I didn’t have an answer.
Rasheed pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Yo, this is me.” He answered and paused, his face getting darker and angrier by the second.
“How did you get this number? It’s a prepaid phone,” he demanded angrily.
“What do you mean mixed up the swabs? You was only supposed to swab one.”
My eyebrow went up on that. The tone of his voice had gone to furious in a matter of a few words. I didn’t even want to know what the person on the other line had said but I had a feeling I was about to find out.
He slid the phone into his pocket and stared at me like he didn’t know me, like he’d never seen me before and he still hated me.
“Life or death, were you cheating on me before Trey was born, Michelle?”
Shocked as hell, I quickly shook my head back and forth. “I don’t know who just told you that, but they’re lying. I never did anything.”
“You never did anything when? You was doing shit with that bitch remember? So, I’m gonna ask again and I’m gonna let you think about it. Because, my people swabbed Trey and Paris, he ain’t mine and her swab . . . Aw, fuck! Ma.”
It was as if the realization of what happened didn’t hit him until he was saying it out of his own mouth. I’d already been feeling what was just now hitting him head-on. Even though the part about Trey not being his was all new to me.
“Momma, what did you do? What did I do, Honey aww fuck, Desi . . .” He fell to his knees crying, crippled by pain and reality.
I’d never seen him or any man cry like that. It made me want to put my arms around him and kiss his shaking shoulders. What he was feeling he didn’t deserve, none of us did; at least Honey wouldn’t have to find out. Not one time had I ever cheated on Rah with another man.
Oh, shit. Ris, what the fuck did you do?
I felt like I
was about to throw up as I thought about Ris underneath me and what I thought was Keyshawn behind me. How mortified I was when I realized he was just watching. Thankfully that one time it was Lania with a strap, but she hated Rasheed, maybe that it meant blind-folding me and getting me knocked up. There was no way I’d ever know who the hell it was with unless he came out and told me. Trey was still my Trey, it just meant I didn’t have to worry about Reena’s mental health history affecting him and—
All the air left my lungs in a sickening sharp thud. I wanted to vomit and breathe at the same time. Crashing to my knees, clutching my stomach, I gasped for air. He’d gotten up and out of nowhere and stormed over, hitting me with the butt of the pistol.
Devon roared and charged Rasheed, knocking him off his feet, and they both sprawled across the floor in a tangle of limbs and angry grunts and growls. Trey started crying. The only thing going through my mind in those seconds other than trying to breathe was trying to get to Trey and shielding him.
The gun exploded again and again. The sound was deafening and, slightly dazed, I looked around examining everyone looking for visible signs of blood or pain. My eyes swept over them all: Reena, Devon, Rasheed, Trey. It was chaos, and everyone seemed to be midmotion screaming or saying something. Blood started seeping through the hole in Rasheed’s shirt in his chest and he fell to his knees. Trey ran to Reena. Devon and I examined each other, breathing sighs of relief when neither one of us were shot. I watched Rasheed take his last breath, for real. I felt for his pulse and everything.
We were sitting out front waiting on the police to get there. Devon felt it’d be best to bring Reena out for the fresh air. I honestly couldn’t care one way or the other. All of this just needed to be over so I could figure out what else I needed to do for Taya’s service.
“That was my baby who got shot, wasn’t it?” she asked in a tiny voice.
Baby Momma Saga, Part 2 Page 18