“Always.” He nodded and released the doc’s hand. Jenkins was a good mate. One of the most dedicated doctors he knew. He’d lost count of how many times he’d been met by Jenkins after a rescue. “G’day to you.”
“And to you.” Jenkins clasped Ethan’s shoulder on the way out of the room. “Take good care of her.”
“Well…” Nervously, De smoothed the cover. “You know, you don’t have to…”
“I do, De.” Tired, he cleared his throat. He’d spent the night in the chair in her room once Paige had left with Nathan. “Listen, like I told Jack, I’m taking you home.” While De had been sleeping, the doctor had released Jack. Ethan had run the bloke home and arrived back to a still-sleeping De.
“I’ve got to get Nate.”
“That’s fine.” He’d expected as much. “Listen, I want to spend all the time with Nathan I can.” There, he’d made his position clear. He hadn’t wanted to argue any more last night so he had kept silent. But now that she’d had a night of rest, he couldn’t. “I have a world to catch up on with the boy.”
Before his gaze, she paled. “I know. I know you do.”
He folded his arms and rocked back on his heels. Christ. When would he get used to the situation? He had a son. They shared a son. And beyond the wild time they’d shared some three years ago, they knew very little about one another.
This had to be handled with care. He was the one who had to take the extra step. Nothing had prepared him for this day…and he could only imagine the fear she must feel at the moment. She was about to share Nathan with a stranger. Ethan might be his father but he was a stranger to both mum and son.
“I’d better get dressed so we can get out of here.”
“Sure. I’ll wait outside.” In the hallway, sweat coated his palms, and he wiped them on his pants. The muscles in his shoulders ached from stress and apprehension he didn’t understand.
He had a demanding career. Tension he could cope with. But this new form confused the hell out of him. Sometime during the night as he’d watched her sleep, a lot of the anger he’d felt toward her had faded. Some anger still lingered over the lost time with Nathan. But no hate, no loathing, existed toward De.
Truth was, in the early morning hours, he concluded he was pumped over the turn of events. From the moment she’d left his condo he’d never been able to get her out of his system. Had never been able to forget about her. Somehow she’d gotten in his blood. This fact unnerved him as much as it excited him. He wanted to be able to get to know De better.
And now to have a son. A son was something to be proud of. To watch grow. To encourage in the decisions he made in life. Someone to carry on his name.
He raked a hand through his hair in growing frustration. He didn’t know a thing about children. He could count the times on a single hand that he’d been around Cohen’s little girls. They’d tended to giggle a lot. That was all he remembered.
“Ethan?”
He turned to face De. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail. “Eh, you all set?”
“Ethan…” She moistened her lower lip. “You don’t have to do this…”
“Do what exactly?” Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough.
“I know you have a stressful job.” Her arms went around herself protectively. “A very stressful job… I don’t expect you to just jump into the role of father. You don’t owe us anything.”
“Just what do you expect of me?” Teeth clenched, he took a step forward. “I’m a responsible man.” But of course she didn’t know that. Not really. After all, look at how he’d acted in the past. He’d have to work to show her that side of him. A side that hadn’t existed when she’d known him. Tension knotted in his abdomen at the rising tide of insecurity. Miller would never be in this position. His big brother would never have to prove himself to another.
“I don’t know. Look, I know you are…” Again, she moistened her lip. “I’m sorry. This really isn’t the place to discuss this.”
“No, it’s not.” He eyed a few of the passing nurses, sure the entire hospital staff would know his business. Before he had the chance to share it with his team, the men he worked with every day. And his family. “Come on. I’m parked outside.”
As they walked out, he kept his hands to himself. He liked touching women. Had a habit of caressing them when the opportunity arose. Now was clearly a bad time to touch her.
Instead, he stayed a step behind her. Not only had her breasts changed but he didn’t recall the flare in the hips. Her slim back, tapering to flared hips appealed to his baser need. Lust stirred his groin. Enjoying the sway of her heart-shaped arse, his prick filled up the front of his pants.
Oh, bugger me. The lust she’d inspired in him hadn’t lessened.
Now this was insane. Desiring a woman he hadn’t seen in years. Lusting after a woman who’d had his child… Just what had she looked like with her stomach swollen as she’d carried his baby? The skin along her belly had been so sensitive to his touch, to his tongue… His balls tightened on another surge of desire.
Clearly, he needed to root in the worst way. It’d been too damn long since he’d had a good fuck. Too damn long. Otherwise, he’d turned into a bloody fruit loop.
Jitters caused Denae to jerk when Ethan shut her door. It was impossible to take her gaze from him while he proceeded around the front of the truck and climbed in the driver’s side.
God, I don’t know what to say. What to do now.
The man not only wanted to be a father to Nate but was projecting himself into their lives. Not that she deserved a say after what she’d done. No, she was Nate’s mother and a grownup. No matter what she’d done in the past she had a say now.
She wanted this. His involvement. Had, in fact, spent many nights praying for it. What a change to her life. What a change Nate was going to go through.
Still her stomach churned. It had been comparable to a frothing ocean since waking to find him still there. “Go back to sleep,” he’d encouraged her. “We’ll figure things out in the morning.”
The figuring things out had her in knots.
What exactly had he meant by that? Berating herself, she outlined details up to that point in her head.
She’d gotten engaged to a man she’d wronged.
Had an affair with the most unsuitable man in the world, who’d turned out to be her fiancé’s brother.
She’d gotten pregnant by the same unsuitable man.
Had been ostracized by parents she’d never been close to.
Given birth to the most fantastic son in the world.
She’d managed to get a job she liked, thanks to Jack.
Thanks to both Jack and Paige, she had great sitters when she needed them.
She’d done her best to make sure Nate grew up happy.
And now… Now she’d been saved by her baby’s father. God worked in mysterious ways, that was for sure.
“You all right, luv?”
She blinked, focusing on the here and now, instead of a past she couldn’t go back and change. And thanks to her son, she didn’t want to.
Ethan turned in his seat to face her.
“Sure.”
“You’ve paled since climbing in my rig.” He regarded her for a long moment. “I swear…” The smallest of smiles curled his lips. “I’m safe to be around. Besides, if I remember right, on the night we met, we had alone time.”
Moaning under her breath, she covered her eyes. God, she’d been so foolish back then. Little of it could be blamed on her youth or naivety.
“I’m not out to cause either you or Nathan trouble.”
“I know.” Denae nodded her head. She did know he meant them no harm. He just wanted to do what was right. Only she wasn’t sure how that would affect the life she’d carefully crafted for herself. She’d adjust, but the unknown gave her great apprehension. How would he fit into their lives? Instead of talking about that, she said, “I’m just hungry.”
“Well then, we’ll pick
up some breakfast after we collect Nathan.”
“Sounds good.”
He turned the truck over and got them out on the road.
“What are you doing now? Where are you working?” Ethan flashed a glance before concentrating on the road.
“I’m a chef.”
“I remember you mentioned you worked in the kitchen on your parents’ station.”
“Yes.” Her parents weren’t a topic she was up to. “So…” Though she didn’t want to get into another argument she had to know. “So, Miller didn’t mention me either then? I mean last night you asked why I hadn’t put two and two together.” She swallowed. “What about you?”
His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.
“No, I didn’t think so.” She sighed. “Anyway, I like my job. I work mornings on the shore.”
“At a resort?”
“Yeah. Cairns International. Jack helped me get the position.”
“He seems like a right fine mate.”
She smiled. She couldn’t stop it. Jack was the very best. A good friend when she’d needed him.
“De?”
“Hm?”
“Listen, my brother never mentioned you to me… M’s bloody tight-lipped about most things.” He wiped a palm on his thigh before clasping the steering wheel again. “Mum was the one who told me he was engaged.”
“Ah, yeah, I can see that.” No pain crushed her at the thought of Miller not mentioning her. It’d been as if the man had known they weren’t right for one another. God, there was no more kidding herself. He’d hinted as much. She just couldn’t figure out what had stopped him from breaking off the engagement before he’d encouraged her to go away on the getaway.
“Mum had been overjoyed when Big M…”
“Your mum?” Denae cut him off from entertaining the possibility. “Your mum, she was…” She bit her lip, hardly wanting to call Maree pushy. But the woman had been.
“Mum was what?” Blue eyes met hers for a heartbeat.
“Oh, nothing.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I enjoyed her company, that’s all.”
“Luv, do you remember what I do for a living?”
“Of course, I do.” Rarely did a day go by that she hadn’t wondered if some predator hadn’t gotten him. The ocean was a dangerous place. Especially the one off their coasts.
“Even in the water, I can read people.”
“Oh, well.” She regarded his side profile. The man really was handsome. Perfect by today’s standards. Honestly, he was perfect by any day’s standards. “I did enjoy your mum’s company.” Maree had met her a dozen times for lunch. In actuality she’d spent more time with Maree than Miller.
She and Miller hadn't had a conventional relationship. Yes, though she'd wished for a good relationship with Miller, it'd been doomed since the beginning. It hadn't taken her long to figure out Maree had been the happiest with the engagement.
Too bad the woman hadn’t carried pictures around of her sons as adults. Too bad the woman had spent most of the time talking about Miller. Too bad Denae had been so hungry for someone’s companionship.
God, she’d been so lonely in the outback. She had hated station life. Had hated the utter emptiness. Yes, she’d wanted the trip to Sydney so badly.
“My mum what?”
She sighed; he was like a dog after a bone. It would’ve been too easy for him to just let it go. “I believe, looking back, your mum wanted me and Miller to get together more than either of us did.”
He grunted.
“I could be wrong, but that’s what I believe.” Sweat beaded her palms, and she clasped them as if in prayer. “I think Miller will be okay… I mean once he finds out Nate’s yours…I think he’ll be able to get over that.” That’s what she wished for anyway. For Miller to forgive them. She didn’t want anyone else to disown Nate the way her parents had. Maybe it was more of a fantasy than wishful thinking. But Miller had been accepting of a lot when she’d known him.
“You might be right about Mum. She was always out to set us up.” A tic beat to life in his chiseled cheek. “But M? He’s not going to be okay with this…” He waved his fingers between them. “With us. Don’t get me wrong, my brother…he was always the one to take care of those in need. But wrong him, he’d hold a grudge.”
Again another notion hit her smack dab in her chest. Miller had thought she was needy. A time or two she’d seen it, pity in his gaze when she’d talked about her parents and her life on the station. Denae forced back a moan. God, the man must have felt sorry for her. Probably hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.
“He took care of Mum. Me and Co. He was always the first to rescue an animal and then turn around to bitch about its upkeep. So, he’ll eventually warm up to Nathan too.” He didn’t turn her way. “But me? My brother’s not going to just forgive and forget.”
She sucked in a breath. “No. Miller’s a really nice man—he’ll come around.” Again she inhaled in an attempt at calmness. He had to come around. She didn’t want to come between the two brothers.
Ethan shook his head.
“He is a nice bloke. The first time we met my car was broken down and he stopped to help me.” A clog formed in her throat. What an utterly horrid day that’d turned out to be. Her parents had…
No. Dwelling on the past was over. Only the here and now mattered.
“Many would stop to help a stranded sheila. But my brother…” He swallowed hard. “My brother can hold a grudge like nobody can.”
She whimpered. Miller had to come around. It’d be impossible to cope with coming between the two brothers.
Chapter Three
Underneath the table, Ethan wiped his palms on his pants.
He sat at De’s small kitchen table across from Nathan. The boy hadn’t stopped staring since they’d arrived inside the unit, while De hadn’t bothered to sit down yet. It was clear he wasn’t the only one who was nervous.
What had De said to Nathan to get him to look at him this way? De had asked to collect their son by herself. She’d wanted a minute alone with the boy. And knowing women, probably a moment alone with Paige. So he’d waited out in the truck until he’d been summoned.
Hell, he’d half assumed she’d taken Nathan and skipped out the back, but when she’d come out the front door carrying the boy…
Well, his world would never be the same.
She hadn’t run from him.
And now sitting at the table across from his son, he hadn’t been this unsure of himself since the early days of his naval service when he’d been training as a swimmer.
De placed a little cup in front of the boy and ruffled his hair. “Don’t stare.” Still the ankle biter didn’t blink. “Sorry, he’s not use to company.”
He nodded, studying the two.
What a contrast De was to Nate. Dark brown hair to his blond. Green cat-like eyes to his round blue ones. De had a full mouth with pouty lips compared to Nathan’s slash of lips. And her nose had the slightest, cute-as-hell tilt to the end. Nathan’s didn’t. As far as he saw, the boy hadn’t gotten a single feature from his mother. The little mate was a Thorn through and through.
Christ. He released an almost agonizing breath. A son. What an incredible legacy. He hadn’t felt this stoked since his first rescue.
His heartbeat accelerated to pound in his ears.
Nathan was an even greater responsibility. Yeah, he hadn’t forgotten his responsibility. The obligation to care for Nathan boggled his bloody mind. Just what was expected of him? His old man hadn’t been much of an example to follow with his ready fists. All that came to the forefront of his childhood memory was back-breaking work on the station. And Miller. His older brother had always found a way for him to have time to goof off. Of course that usually meant Miller did extra chores…
How had De coped all this time on her own with an ankle biter?
“Do you still like milk?” De got his attention.
The woman remembered he liked milk. Somehow
something so simple unsettled him all the more. No, it was the fact he recalled she didn’t like the drink at all that got to him most. “Sure.” He gave a slight nod of his head. “Thanks.”
Helpless, he watched the sway of her hips as she moved around the kitchen again. Bugger me. She had the finest arse ever. Arousal stirred hot in his blood. And her legs were just as fine. Long and sleek. Beautiful.
His prick went rigid. Christ, she’d kept them wrapped around his hips… She’d been so hot for him. Would she be as hot in bed now?
“Here you go.” After passing him a tall glass filled to the brim, she finally took a seat. “Eat up, tiger. The sooner you finish, the sooner I can give you a bath.” She reached over and brushed Nathan’s hair behind his ear. “Maybe we can watch some SpongeBob afterwards.”
“Yeah, Mummy.” Nathan’s grin faded when he looked at Ethan again.
“Remember I told you Ethan’s a friend of mine.” She tore Nathan’s breakfast sandwich in half.
The boy turned his eyes back to his mother. “I ’member.”
“He’s an emergency rescue officer. That’s neat, huh?” Again, she brushed his hair back, only to have it fall forward once more.
Nathan’s eyes brightened. “You got a gun?”
De groaned. “Jack is such a bad influence.”
“Eh, I do. Several.” It took work to hide the smile. “But they’re not part of my uniform.” While growing up on a station in the bush, learning to fire a gun had been mandatory.
“Oh.” Nathan seemed a little deflated.
“I spend most of my time in a boat or chopper. I’m a rescue swimmer.”
“I like boats.” Another smile spread across the young face. “I like choppers.”
Ethan grinned and regarded De. “If you think Jack’s a bad influence just wait until the Thorns spend time with Nathan.”
Captivating green eyes went wide.
He picked up on her trepidation. He supposed he should’ve handled the conversation another way. But Nathan was his and he had a lot to catch up on. His family needed to meet the boy.
Riptide Love ( Page 3