Lana came out of the bathroom and jumped back into the bed. She thought she was slick, but I could tell that she touched up her foundation along with brushing her teeth.
“So what’s the plan for today?” She nudged me with her toe when I didn’t answer.
“Don’t ask me. I’m never leaving the house again!” I announced. I received a round of boo’s, oh please and whatevers from the group.
“So this is where all the magic happens.” Donna joked as she joined our mid morning slumber party. “What’s wrong chica? Why are you not leaving the house?”
“For some reason, Jade is embarrassed by her alter ego showing up last night.”
“What for? You were so adorable. I like your AE. Does she have a name?” Donna poked me in the side, trying to make me laugh.
“But for real, this is Miami. What are we doing today?” Angel asked. The room broke into a chorus of different ideas of how the day should go. I just tucked a pillow under my head, enjoying my new friends. The doorbell ringing caused my stomach to coil into an instant knot. This time Drew didn’t look surprised. When he headed to the door. The rest of the ladies seemed to be oblivious to my concern of a ringing doorbell. Moments later I heard a male voice boom.
“Damn, Spencer! You are THE man with all these lovelies in one bed. Sheezuz!” I glanced to see Dane standing in the doorway. That was it. It was time to get my own spot. That was my plan for the day.
“C’mon man. Wait in the living room. I’ll be right out.” Drew shoved his friend back into the hallway, and then turned to the women who had taken over his bed, and signaled that the show was over.
“Ok ladies, it’s been real, but I need to get dressed so if you don’t mind…”
The girls all booed as they filed out of the room, and I pulled up the rear. Dane was sitting on a barstool scrolling thru his phone when I walked up.
“Well, good morning,” he said.
“Yep, great morning,” I grumbled. Dane just laughed.
“You look pretty good this morning. No hangover?” I turned away from the fridge, leaning against it’s closed doors, facing Dane with my answer.
“Surprised, but no. Just a slight headache, but I think we should talk.”
“Ok, let’s talk.” He sat up with full attention.
“Last night was fun, right? But I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about me. I drank a lil too much, but i’m not looking for anything right now.” I watched as he seemed to relax.
“Oh, that’s good to hear. I have a girlfriend, well we just broke up, but we’ll be getting back together. And I’m not looking for anything either. I know it was wrong for me to stare at you so hard, but I couldn’t help it. You’re sexy as hell,” he added with a wink.
“Well then. Save those sexy winks for your boo, ok?” Winking at him, I grabbed a water from the fridge and headed back to the guest bedroom.
“See ya” Dane chirped. I just waved and kept it moving.
All the girls were spread out in various positions on the bed when I walked into the room, closing the door behind me.
“So, new boyfriend?” Lana asked.
“Um, that’s a big fat no. He has a girlfriend and I’m not looking. Or, maybe I scared him last night.” I was the queen of wishful thinking.
“I doubt that. Highly.” Angel drawled. Just as I was about to address her, my bat-phone chirped. I avoided three confused stares after I leapt to answer it before I missed the call.
“So, how was your night?” Julian asked with an amused tone.
“How was my night? What makes you ask that?”
“Well, I know you went out. You drunk dialed me last night.”
“I what? Ohmigod! What did I say?” I forgot my audience in my horrified state.
“Calm down, nena. Nothing incriminating. It makes me feel good to know that you thought about me after whatever wild night you had. You were very sweet.” He said.
“Julian… tell me what I said.” I groaned.
“If you insist. You told me you missed me, and that you wished I could be there to tuck you in.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled, happy that I didn’t totally play myself.
“Aww. That is actually cute.”
“Make sure you stay out of trouble.” He joked.
“That is the main idea.”
“Ok. Talk to you soon.”
“Ok. Bye.” I hung up and was met by six eyes with hearts floating out of them.
“What?” I snapped.
“I don’t know who that was, but I love his voice,” Lana sighed.
“That’s the first time I’ve really seen you smile,” Angel noted. Donna smiled at me and shook her head.
“I’m still not sure about him, but that was sweet. He spared you from the worst part of your convo last night.” Donna cracked her knuckles like she was prepping for a big move.
“What do you mean?” I was too confused.
“Well after you said you wanted him to tuck you in, you proceeded to tell him all the ways you would tuck him in too”. By God’s grace, I fell asleep at that point.
“Oh God!”
Instead of spending the day lounging around, I decided to be productive. After dropping Lana off to her car, I took Angel to her hotel. When I entered her ‘room’ at the Z Ocean Hotel, I knew where I wanted to stay for the remainder of my time in Miami. Her suite was incredible.
“Damn! This, is what I need in my life.” I marveled at all the amenities of the state of the art suite.
“I know! My label always uses this hotel. I have this room for two weeks while I’m down here working on my album.” Angel opened up the balcony doors exposing an oversized patio that included it’s own hot tub. I think I swooned.
“I.am.in.love.”
“It’s called a spa suite. They have pool suites that open out to the pool, and rooftop suites too.”
“I’m sold. I was thinking that I needed my own spot while I was here. Drew needs his man space back, and I need a space for me and my girls to chill. If his doorbell rang one more time I was going to freak. I like my downtime, he loves to socialize.”
“I noticed that. The look on your face said it all that night your ex showed up. I don’t know what the story is behind that, but he can give it up. You don’t even look like you miss him a tiny bit!” We both laughed at her assessment.
“You hit the nail on the head. I’ve got too much going on right now to even worry about him. We were engaged, but it didn’t work out. He also slept with my ex best friend so, theres a short story for ya.” It didn’t even bother me to talk about that anymore.
“Whoa! To the left for him then. He seemed like such a nice guy!”
“Yeah, well they all seem like nice guys, until…” I shrugged my shoulders and moved towards the beckoning hot tub. My mind flashed to visions of me, chilling under the stars with…. I had to stop my silly mind from such thoughts. What was wrong with me? Shaking off that line of thinking, I got into business mode.
“So, you will be here for two weeks? That gives us plenty of time. Once we sit down and go over everything, I’ll only need a couple of days with you. Maybe do a few events, after your makeover, that is.”
“Makeover?!?” Angel squealed.
“Nothing severe. Calm down. Just enough to set you apart from your group image. Don’t worry, my cousin is the best stylist. She will work with your personality to create some amazing new looks. Trust me, some of the things she handed me, I would hand right back, but once I tried them on it was all good.”
I could see the hesitation in her face, the way her brow crinkled, but she nodded her head in agreement.
Ch 10 Video Vixen
After getting Angel settled, I headed back to Drew’s. Just as I was about to take my key out of the ignition, my phone buzzed. I smiled when I saw John’s name flash against the display.
“Hey, JB!” I was excited to finally hear from him.
“Hey babe. How’s Miami?”
“So
far, so good. I’ve been trying to relax, but that looks pretty short lived.”
“Oh yeah? Do share.” His tone seemed a bit sarcastic, but I explained anyway.
“Well, I’m here with Donna. I’ve got a hot little R&B starlet as a new client. I ran into an old friend, and I’m staying at Drew’s revolving guest house. So I haven’t had a minute to myself all week.”
“Wow, sounds like your hands are full. Anyone- I mean anything else?”
This time his tone was unmistakable. I leaned back in my seat, ready to get to the bottom of things.
“Ok, Benson. What are you stabbing at?”
“Ha ha! What am I stabbing at? Not much, but what I’m looking at is a picture of you and another new friend that you failed to mention.”
“What?” I sat back up in the parked car, one leg in, and one leg half out.
“Yep, there’s this cute picture of a wild haired vixen dancing on stage in front of Dane Copper at his birthday party. They don’t know your name, yet, but I would recognize your hair and lips anywhere.”
“Oh.My.God! Are you kidding me? Where did you see this?”
“Well, this one is on NBA Weekly. The one of you two hugged up is BSC.com.”
“I can’t believe this. I was just dancing, and then he helped me off the stage. That’s it. We didn’t hug or anything.”
“Welcome to the world of the tabloids and gossip. They can take the simplest act and make it into a scandal. This seems harmless enough. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“I can’t believe this. I need to see these pics. Anyway. Are you calling me to tell me when you're getting down here?” I tried to push my previous panic aside.
“Yeah, about that. I was calling to tell you I can’t get to Miami while you’re there. I’m stuck in Cali a little while longer.”
“Seriously, John?” I felt the disappointment rumbling in my stomach.
“But, I do plan on making it up to you. I need a vacation and from the sound of it, you do too. I want to take you to Brazil for my birthday. I should be wrapped up here and free to go by then.”
“Brazil?” Excitement quickly replaced the disappointment I felt just moments ago.
“Brazil. Me.You. No work, no family, no friends. How does that sound?” His sexy salesman voice had me at vacation.
“It sounds, amazing. Fuckin fantastic, even!” I couldn’t control my enthusiasm, causing one of the neighbors to look at me curiously as she walked her Yorkie.
“It will be amazing. I can’t wait. I miss you, so much.” The lowered baritone of his voice sent chills down my back.
“I miss you too,” I said, breathlessly. I did miss John, and it scared me that I felt that he was drifting away from my life. This trip would be just what we needed.
“Ok, let me get back to work. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Ok, bye.” I hung up the phone and just sat there for a few more beats. Brazil. Me and John in Brazil. Wow. Flashes of me and Dane brought me back to reality and I jumped up, heading straight for my laptop.
I didn’t even greet Drew, who was lounging on the couch, when I entered. I pulled out my Mac and did a google search. There, right in my face, was a picture of me appearing to drop it low in Dane’s face.
“DREW!” I felt like I was going to combust.
“Damn! What are you yelling for?” He came over to me, peering over my shoulder to see what had me so riled up.
“Have you seen these?” I shoved the computer towards him so that he could get a good look. What I didn’t expect was the waves of laughter that spilled from him.
“Oh shit, Jade. You're like a video vixen!”
“What the hell is so funny?” I couldn’t believe he was laughing.
“I mean, look! You’re such a square in real life. This is hilarious. You look…” I could see the reality of the situation hit him. His sister looking like this, and what would happen when all of his friends saw.
“Uh, huh. Are you starting to see the light?”
“Shit! The guys are gonna give me hell for this.”
I just shook my head.
“Do you know that John saw these? He’s in California!”
“At least you had a good time. You’ve actually looked happy lately. Carefree. I think this trip is what you needed. Those picture will blow over and pretty soon you’ll go back to your boring ole life.”
“One can only hope!”
Monday morning marked the beginning of another positive week. Despite my reluctance, the first visit with Dr. Lindsey was very productive. Prior to my visit, she suggested I create a list of things that I wanted to discuss, and we would work from there. Her theory was that my panic attacks were my minds way of expressing my feelings about the attack, since I wasn’t really facing it head on. She also suggested another prescription to help me sleep, and one if my anxiety ever lasted longer than I could cope with. During our discussion, other things that I never even thought of also came into focus.
“That was quite a bomb that your aunt dropped on you. Have you spoken to her more about it?” Dr. Lindsey leaned forward as she awaited my answer.
“No, I don’t think- wait, I’m not ready to face her just yet. It’s surreal that I’ve been thinking that my mother just vanished on us, but all this time there was a real reason. I don’t even know what to say to my aunt. All of the happy times from my childhood are linked to her, and I can’t lose them too.” I dabbed at the corner of my eye, wiping away the one lone tear that escaped.
“Ah, that’s understandable,” Dr. L sighed. “Have you ever thought about going to see your mother? Now you can get the story from her. Bring some closure to all of that pain that you’re holding.”
I held her gaze for a moment before staring, without seeing, out at her ocean view. Sure, the little girl who wanted her mommy was thrilled at that suggestion, but the rest of me was terrified. What if she rejected me?
“I’ll have to think about that one, Dr. L,” I finally replied. She nodded her head, then dipped into her notes for the next subject.
“Jade, you mentioned feeling conflicted over two men. Why is it that you can’t seem to pick one over the other?” Dr. Lindsey asked, picking up with the anxiety that going to Brazil was causing me.
“I don’t know. Well, I had feelings for Julian first, but after he left I fell for John. I guess I tried to ignore how I felt about Julian because I was angry that he was gone. Eventually, John broke up with me because he sensed my true feelings and felt that I needed time to work them out. When Julian came back everything just hit me full force. I love being with him, but due to certain circumstances we still can’t give anything a fair shot.” She knew the details of my case, no need to rehash every thread.
“OK. Where does that leave John?” Question of the year!
“I love John, but I was hurt and angry because I felt like he gave up on me. We have an easy chemistry and I miss his friendship. He was there for me when I needed him.”
“So are you trying to pick based on how you feel now, or based on things that happened in the past? No matter what happened before, you have to focus on what is happening now, and how you are feeling now. Look at it like this, there are billions of people in this world, so being attracted to two men isn’t all that rare. You need to determine if what you are feeling for each one is real, or are you just addicted to the feeling that you get. You spent a lot of years lacking for emotional support, so it’s no wonder that either of these aggressive men are so alluring to you. Give yourself some time to work through your own feelings before you try to figure out what they want. Sound good?” She wrote a few notes in my chart as she waited for my reply.
“Sounds good.”
“Great. We can set up virtual appointments since I know you will be traveling. Email me your schedule and we can work from there. Remember the breathing techniques that we discussed if you ever feel like you can’t handle whatever your feeling at the time.”
We shook hands, and I headed out with a smil
e. It helped to talk to someone who was only in my corner and didn’t demand I make sense of what I was feeling or thinking.
The next lazy Sunday my plan was to head to the beach. That was all I wanted to do with my day. Drew asked if I was going to round up the troops, which meant was I going to invite Lana. After some heavy negotiation with a hung over Angel, we all agreed to meet around noon.
I hit the shower and made sure my body was properly de-haired. There is nothing worse than looking down and seeing a patch of renegade bush that you missed, peeking out of your swimsuit. When I was deciding which bikini to wear, my bat-phone chirped.
“Hola.”
“What are your plans for today, mi amor?”
“Well, me and the girls were headed to the beach. That’s about it.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun. Let me not hold you up. I hope your enjoy your day.”
“Thank you, I’m sure I will.” I hung up the phone with a sigh, and got dressed.
Drew came up with the idea that we hang out at the Fontainebleau. A few of his friends were meeting there for brunch. Oh great. I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of being around any of his ‘boys’ so soon after seeing those pictures, but part of me was like eff it. I wasn’t going to waste anymore time worrying about what other people thought, especially if it wasn’t the truth.
We all piled into Drew’s truck, and headed out. Lana and Donna were chatting in the back, and Angel was just trying to keep her head up. I would have to talk to her about partying like that. She was trying to move away from that image, not embrace it. She was such a sweet girl, but I could tell she had a dark side.
Pulling up to the infamous hotel, we valet parked and then strolled through the property, towards the beach. Drew spotted his friends, and I was relieved to see a small group of four guys waiting for us. Unfortunately one of those guys was Dane. I braced myself for the awkwardness that was sure to come.
Only Her Heart (The Jaded Hearts Club) Page 9