“I told you to say goodbye,” he reminded me. I took another deep breath, looking him in the eye before responding.
“But I didn’t. That was you trying to manipulate me into staying, and not going to John.”
Julian snorted at my reply, rolling his eyes in the process.
“Manipulate? You’ve got some nerve.” He gripped the neck of his wine bottle, taking a long swig.
“Are you drunk?” I snatched the bottle from him, forcing him to pay attention to me.
“Not quite, but I will be if you give me my bottle back.” He held his hand out, not grabbing it like I had. I eyed him warily.
This was not going how I expected. Oh, shit why do I try to kid myself? I had no clue what would happen once I boarded the damn boat, but I just felt like we had unfinished business. His asshole-ish demeanor didn’t sway me because I knew he was going through a world of hurt. That was really what brought me back. When we hatched the plan to lure Edward to us while Ryan waited ready to pounce, we never discussed the ripple effect. His uncle boarded the boat with intentions of killing him, and while it terrified me, I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling inside right now. I recognized the pain as sympathy and not my own. I was here because I wanted to be here for him right now. I could do that without losing myself.
Placing my palm on his cheek, I caressed his face with my thumb. Slow gentle strokes like you would do to sooth a child. Julian groaned, but pulled away from my touch.
“What is this, a consolation prize?” He shook his head, looking away from me. “Jade, I think you should go. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Shut up!” I snapped. He was crazy if he thought this tough guy act was going to fly. PSH!
“What?” he snipped.
“Hurt me. Is that what would make things right? Would that make you feel better?”
“Jade, don’t get all psychoanalytical on me right now. I just want to be alone, and I don’t need you to break up with me for the millionth time. Here, tell me goodbye so that you can have your closure,” he snapped.
I wanted to slap him. I’d wanted to slap him since he called me a consolation prize. But what good would violence do? I remembered back to when John came to see me, and I was three sips away from alcohol poisoning, stressing over Evan. I tried to push him away because I didn’t want him to see me hurting, and I wasn’t used to anyone caring about me.
“Shut. Up! I’m here, because I care about you, and you shouldn’t be alone. I’ll shut up if you want me to, but I’ll be sitting right here. I’m ok with you being angry with me. It’s not the first time.” I leaned back, taking a long gulp and finishing his bottle of red wine.
We sat there not speaking for a long while. Long enough to witness the increased silence that came with the settling of the nightlife on the resort. Long enough for me to sift through the various events of the last week. In all my self revelations on what I needed to do to get my life on track and be strong, at the heart of it all I needed a hug. I wanted to be held, I wanted to be loved. Right now, I wanted to hold him and show him that he wasn’t alone.
So, without asking, I crawled into Julian’s lap. This time he didn’t protest or push me away. I molded my body to his chest, wrapping my arms around him. Julian released a deep sigh before he spoke.
“Jade. Ple-”
“Just hold me,” I whispered, cutting him off. I smiled when his arms slid around me pulling me close.
“Oh God,” he cried, burying his head into my chest. I just held him close, feeling the wetness of his tears seep through my dress while my own tears slid down my face. I cried in empathy for him, and I cried in solace. I gently pulled away so that I could see his face. Julian crying didn’t make him seem weak to me. I would have thought he was a monster if he hadn’t cried. He tried to hide his pain from me by running a hand across his brow, but I moved it aside. I cupped both of his cheeks, and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Kissing through his tears. The worst was behind us, no matter what the future had in store. All the ugly demons from the past, from other peoples mistakes, were now vanquished, and we had this moment together. We were both free to move on, and I wanted the chance to do it with him.
I kissed his lips, then his cheeks, then his eyelids, then his nose, and then back to his lips. Julian buried his hands in my hair, smashing our faces closer together. I whimpered into his mouth when his tongue slowly snaked into mine. Nothing he did could get him close enough. I needed him. I wanted to feel him. I began to unbutton his shirt, as he continued to make love to my mouth. Pushing his shirt off, I ran my hands across his chest and down his back, pulling him against me again. His hands were massaging my hips while his fingertips were slowly pulling my dress up my thighs. My body began to hum with desire, and I moaned against his lips. There were no words between us, nothing could describe this feeling.
Gently, Julian pulled my dress over my head. His eyes assessed my body with that hunger that I knew so well. I stared up into the bright waxing moon, enjoying the feel of his hands sliding across my stomach, then through the valley of my breasts, stopping to massage his thumbs up the slopes and across my nipples. I shuddered at his touch, and then moaned when his hot tongue laved then suckled a hardened peak, leaving a trail of warmth in it’s wake. I sunk my fingers into his hair, grasping enough to keep his head where I needed it. I began to pant and whimper, succumbing to feelings building inside of me. Julian was alternately rough, then gentle. Taking turns until each of my nipples were aching, and I was on the verge of orgasming from that act alone. I watched him while he sucked away, captivated by his eyes as they studied my face for my reaction. I shuddered when we made eye contact, and he pulled back letting my nipple slide out his mouth with a tight pop, and then quickly used his tongue to swirl and lick me.
“Ahhh,” I groaned in agony.
“Mmmm,” he responded in turn.
I began to tremble, my body was strum so tight with pleasure. Ready to burst. My hips had a mind of their own, and slowly rocked and bucked against his pelvis. I gasped when Julian included nibbling into his repertoire, welcoming the slight pinch of pain. But it felt good. So good. Too good. My eyes rolled back into my head. What was he doing to me? My pants had evolved into a chorus of pleading and moaning. The coil was untwining, I was coming apart. I was coming!
“Mmmm! Unhhhh,” I cried out. Tears stung my eyes as the aftershocks worked through me. I couldn’t believe it. That had never happened to me before. He didn’t even lay a finger below my waist.
Julian kissed his way up my torso, teasing my neck before he began to kiss me slowly. All I could do was return the roll of his tongue and hold on tight.
“Damn, that was so sexy. Shit! You’re soaked. I can feel it through my pants, baby,” he groaned.
“Uhh, that felt so good,” I moaned. Julian just hissed, before gathering me up into his arms, and carrying me to his bedroom.
This boat was slightly larger than the one that was set on fire, and so was the bed. He laid me down, pulling off my panties, and then pushing my knees apart so that he could slide one finger into my drenched canal. I gazed up at him as he stood there, slowly finger fucking me. With his free hand he unbuckled his belt, pulling it roughly through the loops and tossing it aside. Then he shoved his pants and boxers down in one shot, freeing his glorious penis. It bobbed to attention while he stepped out of his clothes, until he grabbed it and began to stroke. I wiggled against his fingers at the sight. He was so fucking sexy. No, there has to be another word. Seductive, desirable, alluring, tantalizing...How could one look, or one action cause me to short circuit internally?
Once he was fully naked, Julian joined me on the bed. To my surprise he crawled up behind me, spooning behind me while slowly massaging his dick between my thighs. His arms wound up around my waist and his hands cupped each breast. He was teasing me silly.
“Uhmm, Jade. I’m gonna make this so good,” he whispered against my shoulder.
“Uhn... It’s always good,” I murmured,
the thick head of his cock was toying with my entrance.
“I know baby, but tonight you came back to me. Tell me you’re mine,” he demanded. I shuddered in his arms knowing that this moment would come. This was either going to be the beginning or the end, and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted all the things he wanted, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it anymore.
“I’m yours,” I whispered against his thumb, that was tracing the contours of my mouth.
“You always have been, you silly woman,” he whispered into my ear. My body quaked at his words, a sticky pool of desire trickling down my thigh where he was sliding his hard shaft in and out.
“Oh Julian,” I whimpered.
“Shhh...” He whispered as he eased into me, pressing his face into my neck as he held me tighter. I closed my eyes to the overwhelming sensations that being with him sparked. I smiled at his ardent wordplay, knowing he meant each admission of love and desire for me. Our tomorrows may not be promised, but I knew they’d be ours to share.
Epilouge
Damn, I was running late. I had the perfect earings to go with my little black bandage dress with gold trim. This time Jackie let me wear whatever I wanted. Making one last attempt to locate the box that had my make up and accessories, I went from room to room until I found it in the back of my closet. Never mind that it was clearly labeled master bath. I’d been officially moved into my new place for almost two weeks, but this was only my second day back in the city. I already missed the warm Miami weather, but I was excited to get settled into my new place. No, it wasn’t nearly as fancy as the loft had been, but it was still gorgeous. I was leasing the top two floors of a refurbished brownstone in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There were no more doormen, or quick cab rides home, but I had peace of mind. The neighborhood was growing and filled with other young professionals like myself.
I finished up my makeup just as my buzzer went off. Well, I still had one of those. I pressed the button that would unlock the door to my building and headed down to open my apartment door. My heels were waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, and I slipped them on, grabbed my coat off the hook and opened my front door. Julian was standing there grinning up at the mistletoe that was hanging in my doorway while holding a big white box with a pink ribbon.
“Happy New Years Eve, baby,” he whispered as he kissed me over the large box. It had only been a week since I’d seen him, but he looked like a new man. Gone where his long locks and facial hair. He was back to being spiky and clean shaven, dressed in a black Tuxedo that fit him perfectly. I couldn’t believe this was real, we were real.
“And... Happy Birthday,” he said, finally presenting me with the box. I eyed him suspiciously wondering which traitor spilled the beans on my birth date. I hated celebrating my birthday because it had been the last time I saw my mother before she left. I guess this year was as good as any to change that tradition.
I took the box, which seemed pretty dense and set it on my dinning room table. I undid the ribbon as Julian watched on with a knowing grin.
“What is it?” I asked impatiently.
“Just open it. C’mon hurry,” he replied.
I pulled the top off and my heart melted.
“JuJu!” I pulled the poor sweet puppy from his temporary prison, laughing at the way he excitedly sniffed and tried to give me doggy kisses.
“He was a wreck after you left, always crying and sniffing your pillow,” Julian joked. He walked back into the hall to retrieve the rest of JuJu’s things, setting up his kennel so that we could be on our way. Once JuJu was nice and comfy, Julian lead me to the limo that was waiting downstairs. We spent the car ride in a comfortable silence. Julian was the most relaxed that I had ever seen him as he stared out the window, holding my hand on the seat between us. I was still marveling over the hurdles we’d faced to get to this point. We were now officially dating. I was happy, and there wasn’t anything to cause me worry. I’d spoken to John earlier that day and he was good. I knew it would take time, but my hope was for us to find a way to bridge the gap. It would be hard, considering Alicia despised me and Julian flat out hated John. But the hope was there.
Tonight was finally the grand re-opening of La Carra. It had been shut down for the last week, undergoing a transformation, and re inventoried with garments from the new designers that would be featured exclusively. Jackie and Lana had collaborated together, utilizing Lana’s event planning services, so the gang was going to be back together again. After tonight, things would be back to business as usual.
We arrived at the event and I couldn’t believe the amount of guests that were streaming into the venue. I instantly recognized the sounds of my favorite swing cover band wafting from the hotel ballroom. I smiled at the site of the Anglers dressed up in suits for a change. Julian and I made our way to our table, already occupied by Angel and Louis. We greeted the wild couple, her looking like Marilyn Monroe, and him looking like Billy Idol in a suit. I sat down, as Julian excused himself to go mingle. I had to remember that he was almost as much of a social butterfly as Jackie. My eyes followed him as he made his way through the crowd with precision, artfully ignoring the hungry stares he was receiving from a few of the over zealous females, and dodging the ones who tried to get too ‘familiar’ with him. I couldn’t blame them, that tux didn’t hide his sculpted form. If anything, it enhanced it.
“Someone has it bad,” Angel whispered in my ear. “But, I’m not gonna say who. Julian does clean up nicely,” she continued.
“He’s not the only one,” I teased, and we both laughed at our private joke while Louis looked on in confusion.
A short while later, I spotted Drew, Lana, and Jackie making their way over. Julian had rejoined our party and we all settled in for dinner. Unlike the last event, this one was just a dinner and dancing celebration for New Years. I looked around the table, smiling at Drew and Lana who were openly an item. Finally! Jackie had a new date who was as quiet as she was talkative. Interesting... The one surprise of the evening was the arrival of Aunt Vivian escorted by Hector Delgado. Tensing involuntarily, I relaxed a little when Julian’s strong hand stroked my thigh under the table. We both decided to leave that subject in the past, there was no point in prying into that pile of skeletons.
Despite that bit of drama, dinner was excellent. The food was delicious, the music was perfect, and everyone seemed content. Julian and I spent the bulk of our evening dancing. How could I forget that this man loved to dance as much as I did? By the time we began the countdown I was more than ready to head home. One more discrete grope from Julian, and I would be dragging him to the restroom.
We gathered around the table, holding our champagne flutes poised for the New Years toast. Julian’s hand was restless in mine as we waited, and I glanced at him to find him grinning wildly. I bet he couldn’t wait to get out of there either. The crowd began to count down from 10, and I began to giggle in excitement at my impending 25th year. I had a feeling this would be my best year yet.
Julian slid his arm around my waist pulling me against him for our first kiss of the new year. The passion of it caught me by surprise, and I held on to his arm to catch my breath.
“And now I can give you your real present.” He kissed my forehead before reaching into his pocket.
“What? But you already gave me my...” My words trailed off when he pulled a black velvet box from the inside pocket of his suit. Oh shit. Oh Shit. No. Way!
“Julian,” I murmured in shock. I wasn’t expecting that. My heart beat speed up, as I looked around in shock. Everyone else either had awestruck expressions, or a knowing look for me in return. I looked to Drew and Jackie. They both knew. Lana was glassy eyed, and Angel was already tearing. My Aunt and Hector seemed to know, but before I could focus on that, my attention returned to the man who was going down on one knee. Oh my God, this is happening. Not to me. Shit, it is.
“Jade. I know you're probably freaking out right now, but just listen. We have been through a lot, no need to rehas
h it, I think everyone here knows.” There were a few nods and acknowledging groans, but Julian went on.
“The one thing that has never changed was the fact that I knew you were for me. I never believed in ‘the one’ before, but I know that I don’t ever want to let you go. So if you’re willing to let me hold onto you, that’s what I plan to do. I love you. Will you marry me?”
Julian popped the box open and pulled the ring out, holding it suspended at the top of my finger. I could barely make out the ring through the tears in my eyes. I was stunned. I knew how I felt about him, and I felt a tinge of shame that I had a huge detour before arriving at this point. He didn’t care as long as we were on the same page now. I never considered myself lucky, until that moment. Looking into his glittering emerald eyes that I knew held the key to my future. No more room for denial.
Still at a loss for words, I wiggled my finger, giving him an encouraging nod to continue. Julian flashed a huge grin before slowly sliding the ring on, and kissing my hand then finger when he was done. I held up my hand like it was foreign to me. Of course the diamond was heart shaped, set in a diamond studded, vintage infinity setting. It was perfect for me. I looked to Julian, pregnant with emotions.
“Julian,” I said, caressing his cheek with my freshly ringed hand.
“All you have to do is say yes,” he teased. Making me giggle, cutting through my overly emotional reaction.
“Yes,” I finally accepted. There might have been clapping, even cheering going on around us, but all I heard was the roar of my heart beating wildly as Julian kissed me. We couldn’t stop, either. I finally felt the tug of someone viewing my hand, and the random claps to Julian’s back.
Only Her Heart (The Jaded Hearts Club) Page 28