“Why don’t you cook again then, Cruz?”
“I had these dreams of owning a cute little café, somewhere where there are open spaces, no traffic, quiet…”
I raised a brow. “Sounds like Evergreen, doesn’t it?”
He took bacon and eggs from the fridge, and turned to me grinning. “I guess it does.” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s funny. If you’d have asked me a year ago did I want kids, marriage, a different job, I would have laughed in your face. But something changed, like a switch was flicked, and I didn’t recognize the person I’d become. It was so sudden, and I just felt like I’d been living a lie. The job, the work culture in NYC just seemed so meaningless. The only thing that mattered to me still was Amory, and I realized how much I loved her. When everything else fell away, all I wanted was her, and a different life.”
I took a frying pan from the hook and put it on the stove, lighting the gas for him. “I did wonder why things moved so quickly between you and Amory all of a sudden. I thought it was because I was out of the way.” Amory had made it her mission to get me out and about in New York, and often I felt guilty that I was encroaching on time they could spend together, but at that stage Cruz worked long hours, and Amory always reassured me it was fine.
He dropped a dollop of butter in the pan, which sizzled, liquefying. “I probably scared her with my sudden intensity. In fact, I know I did. But it was just so clear to me, you know, like a complex math problem solved in the blink of an eye. Now though, how do I make things right? How do I show her I’m still the same guy, but with different goals?”
I flicked on the coffee machine and folded my arms, contemplating it all. “I guess you just lay your cards out – that’s all anyone can do – and say, this is me, this is what I am and… see?”
He placed bacon in the pan, which shriveled and shrank back in the heat. “I know Amory thinks it’s unfair to stay together if I want children. She thinks it’s like shopping and I can walk down the supermarket aisle and pick one, oh look she’ll make a great mom, but you know, I love her enough, too much actually, to let that one thing end us. So she doesn’t want kids now, and maybe she never will, but I’d choose her over that any day. Sure, I’d love to have a family, but not at the cost of losing her.”
“Have you told her all of this, Cruz?” I knew they’d gone back and forth over most of it a number of times, but he was really ready to change his life, and all he wanted was her. She wanted to stay here, and he wanted open spaces and a quiet life. Couldn’t they both stay and at least explore a new start in Evergreen? Had Amory told Cruz she, too, was tired of New York and the demands of big-city living?
“Yeah, but I think she only hears what she wants to hear.”
“Cruz, I need a chef, and you need a new challenge. Think about staying, will you?” I didn’t care that I hadn’t checked with Amory. These two needed a shove, and maybe if they stepped away from their old lives, they’d find some harmony here. Cedarwood had worked its magic so far…
Later that day I went online, and was surprised to find my email full of queries about the lodge. There were messages about weddings, bridal showers, and even a bar mitzvah. While I was thrilled, I wondered where they’d all come from. How had they heard about Cedarwood?
I went through them all, answering their questions, attaching pictures, sample menus, price lists.
“If you squint any harder you’ll fall asleep,” Amory said. “What’s so fascinating?”
I laughed. “Well, for reasons unknown, we have an inbox full of potential clients. Come see.”
She leaned over my shoulder, and I scrolled down, showing her the emails.
“I bet we’ve been written up somewhere! Give me that.” She grabbed the laptop and hit the keys frantically, mumbling to herself, as she tried various word combinations before saying, “Boom! Found it! Only the New York Observer!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“NO!”
“YES-S-S!” She let out a squeal.
“Let me see!” She turned the screen to me and I shrieked, clapping a hand to my mouth as I read the headline: Clio Winters rises again, wowing brides with one-hundred-year-old venue.
“Rises again? Like I’m the undead!”
Amory continued to read: “Like Midas, everything she touches turns to gold, and Cedarwood Lodge is no different.”
I hugged myself tight. “Well, the press have certainly changed their tune! That’s a long way away from accusing me of being a celebrity wedding wrecker! How did they find out about the expo?” I asked.
“We must have had a rogue bride here,” Amory screeched. “We’d usually have picked up on being spied on! Who do you think it was?”
“I don’t know,” I said, picturing their faces, their smiles. “I bet you it was Felicity! That whole monster-in-law thing was a farce!”
“Yes! And don’t forget the try-the-dress-on-routine!”
“Or was it our troublemaker, Isadora?”
Shrugging, Amory scanned the rest of the article. “She mentions the food! She says: The canapés were fresh and seasonal, exceptional in every way, and the Christmas feast luncheon was better than Mom’s – but don’t tell her I said that.”
“We have to thank Cruz a million times over. I’m not sure how he handled it with such aplomb.”
“The rest of the article gives our details, and says: Book early, I have a feeling Cedarwood Lodge won’t be a secret for much longer.”
“Let’s celebrate! We have to plan the most extravagant Christmas Eve dinner. We can deck out the little salon that adjoins the side deck, set up a table by the picture window so we can watch the snowfall up close.”
Her eyes shone, because there was nothing better for a party planner than decorating and hosting her very own party. “Yes! Let’s go to town on that room! We’ll need another Christmas tree, something small…”
“Shall we head into town and buy Christmas bonbons, and something for the center of the table?”
“Yes! We still have a few more gifts to buy too!” She rubbed her hands together. “We’re going to need to make a list. OK, well, get your granny shoes on and we’ll head into Evergreen.”
I scoffed. “My granny shoes?”
“Those big clodhoppers of yours. Those boots, the ones that look like you’re about to head into war after an apocalypse.”
I hit her on the arm. “They’re snow boots, I’ll have you know. You’re not the one who has to walk around the grounds every day, checking on things.” I’d been escaping for long walks, telling whoever asked that I was clearing my head, when in actual fact I was searching for the maze. I knew it was somewhere on the east side of the property but that was thick forest, totally overgrown, and impossible to navigate in the slushy snow. Isla would have a better idea of where it was but I was loath to share my mom’s secret because I’d promised her I wouldn’t. There probably was no maze after all these years. By now it would be just one big overgrown hedge, but still I wanted to see it myself. So far, no luck.
“Well, get them on, darling, and let’s go shopping!”
I grabbed her arm as she was about to leave. “Amory, you know Evergreen isn’t actually a bustling little shopping capital, don’t you?”
She threw her head back and laughed at my worried expression. “I think I’ll survive. Now come on, we’ve got gifts to buy!”
In town, the street had come alive with shoppers wearing determined expressions. Storefronts were lit up with Christmas lights, and tinsel was draped behind windows. In the window of Puft were lush green-iced donuts, stacked atop each other in the shape of a Christmas tree. We waved to Aunt Bessie. I stuck my head in and told her we’d stop by after shopping. Wreaths blew sideways, their little bells jingling in the wind. The town Christmas tree was decorated with so many baubles they had their own music, clinking together in the wind, glittery dust blanketing the snow beneath.
We went to the little candle shop, and stocked up on candles for our friends and some for
the lodge. Ruth, the owner, made the candles herself, and had a range especially for Christmas. From gingerbread scented to candy-cane striped, we had a hard time choosing.
“Let’s get them all,” Amory said. “They might sell out and then we’ll be upset.”
I held my laughter in check, doubting very much that anything would sell out in Evergreen except Aunt Bessie’s donuts, but agreed to buy them all, knowing how lovingly made they were, and that if the same product was sold in New York, we’d be paying five times the price without blinking an eye.
“Why, thank you, girls!” Ruth said, wrapping our purchases as we kept finding other scents and adding them to the pile.
After that we went around the corner to a gift shop, tucked into the back of an alley. I often wondered how Henrietta ever made any money as tourists wouldn’t know to look here, and the town wasn’t big enough for her to survive on locals’ purchases, but somehow she did.
“You know, we should make up a folder for each suite, with a map of the town and all these little hidden gems – like Henrietta’s gift shop and Ruth’s candle shop – so they don’t pass through Evergreen completely. There’s lots here, if you know where to look.”
Amory nodded, and pushed open the door. Inside was toasty warm and decorated prettily for Christmas, in a pink and silver theme. “Hey there, Clio!” Henrietta said, grabbing me in a bear hug. “Bessie told me you’re doing well at Cedarwood. I’m so happy to hear it.”
“Thanks, Henrietta.”
She stood back, surveying me, and smiled. “I’m glad the place isn’t empty any more. Such a waste to have it lying there abandoned like that. ’Spose there was good reason for it, though. The townsfolk are still very superstitious about the place, but they’ll come around. I guess they think it’s not fair to her memory… and I can understand that.”
My chest tightened. “Whose memory?” I managed to sputter.
Henrietta’s face paled. “Didn’t your mom tell you before you bought the lodge? I thought…”
“I bought the lodge as a surprise and then told Mom. Who, Henrietta? Who did you mean?”
She waved me away. “I didn’t mean a thing. I’ve had too much eggnog, is all. You know that old place, kinda spooky when it was vacant, that’s all.”
Just like the others, her mouth was closed on the matter. But it was closer than I’d come before. Had someone died there? And, if so, what did Mom have to do with it?
It was hard to continue shopping, as if nothing else mattered, but I did it for Amory’s sake, pasting on a smile and chatting lightheartedly.
Chapter Twenty-Five
With only a few more days until Christmas, Micah had left early for the airport, to pick up Kai, who had finally wrapped up his jobs and was able to get away. Forget the kiss, forget the jelly-legged sensation, and focus on getting the chapel approved. Yes, yes, yes. Really, I had started to think I had imagined the whole take-my-breath-away moment of madness with Kai. Maybe I’d dreamed it up, maybe I was that desperate? Next I’d be journaling about our faux children, and their sporting prowess, their educational achievements… Where Kai and I would renew our vows (beachside, Mauritius) what I’d wear (backless, lemon-colored dress, flip-flops, hair loose), and what… I shook my head. Dang it, usually my away-with-the-fairy moments were about other brides, real brides, ones who were actually engaged or at least in a relationship. I put it all down to lack of sleep…
Isla, Amory and I had just finished inspecting the chalets, making copious notes just like always about how we wanted to furnish them, and what we needed to order, so that when renovations started in the New Year, we would be ready to go. The sooner they were done the better, and another income stream would open up. The chalets were completely self-contained, and also more private, being set away from the lodge itself.
Trudging back through the slushy snow, we chatted about Christmas Day and what our plans were. “I’m meeting Micah’s parents,” Isla said, grinning.
Amory gazed sharply at her. “Oh God, really?”
Isla shrugged. “Well, it’s Christmas! I’m looking forward to it actually. Micah said his mom is a sweetheart and his dad fancies himself as a prankster. Is that right, Clio? Are they as nice as he says?”
It was interesting to note Amory was hanging on every word. My usually confident, sassy friend was clearly still nervous about meeting Cruz’s parents… Whereas Isla was happy to take the next step with Micah, because meeting the parents was always a good sign the relationship was moving in the right direction.
“They’re even nicer than that,” I said honestly. Micah’s parents were caring, compassionate and happy-go-lucky, just like him. They’d been there for me a lot growing up; I was sort of the daughter they never had. “His mom, Sue Betty, sewed my prom dress, and did my hair and makeup, and his dad gave Timothy the big talk about curfews and the appropriate way to treat a woman, i.e. don’t even think about sex before marriage.”
Isla laughed. “Oh, that is totally adorable! Imagine having” – she made air quotes – “‘the talk’ about someone else’s daughter.”
Silence fell between us. I remembered that night so clearly: the fact that my own father was missing another rite of passage, another event in my life he should have been there for; not to mention Mom, who should have been the one dusting on too much blue eyeshadow, and teasing my hair, choking us with hairspray fumes.
“It was hard to buy them Christmas presents,” Isla said. “In the end I settled for Christmas-themed gift boxes, but I’m worried they’ll think it’s cheesy.”
“What did you buy?” I asked, knowing it could have been a day-old newspaper and they’d still have exclaimed how perfect it was, and how thoughtful.
“Gaudy Christmas onesies, and a selection of Christmas movies, then I filled the box with candy canes, reindeer lollipops, and gingerbread men. I thought it could be a tradition, you know, start something new, celebrate my life here in Evergreen with them…”
I gave her arm a pat. “They’ll totally love that, and no doubt wear them and make you all sit down and watch every last movie.”
She grinned. “I hope so.” I watched Amory consider it from Isla’s point of view, and I wondered if it made her think of Cruz, and meeting his folks.
Back inside the lodge, we hung our coats, and unwound thick scarves, taking off our gloves, it was hot in the warm front salon with the fire roaring.
“Let’s get the presents wrapped, yeah?” I said, taking various rolls of brightly colored foil from a shopping bag. The girls dashed upstairs to grab their gifts, so while they were gone, I wrapped theirs. For Isla, I’d found a chunky silver bracelet filled with floral charms – roses, peonies and lilies were recreated in thick silver and it reminded me of her and her love for flowers. Micah had been right when he’d said she could wax lyrical about flora for days… Amory’s present was a Filofax. She adored them, and I’d had the leather cover embossed with her name. Inside, I’d stuffed two tickets to a ballet show she’d been itching to see. With red and golden ribbons tied around the shiny gold foil, I popped the presents under the tree just as they walked back into the room, arms full with shopping bags.
Amory produced her present for Cruz, which I rewarded with an eyebrow-raise. “An apron?” I asked faux-innocently.
“Not just any apron, a Santa apron! Won’t he look adorable?”
“So… he’s staying?”
She folded the ruddy face of Santa in half. “I mentioned that if he wanted to stay to help out, then that was really considerate of him. And that you were totally serious when you asked him.”
“And?” I prompted.
“And what?”
“Did he say yes?”
“He did.”
I let out a whoop.
“Have you talked about your relationship?”
She wrapped the apron in green foil. “We have.”
It was like talking to a rock. “And…”
“And I’ve agreed to meet his parents, later.
”
I wanted to jump up and clap for her, but she was still so skittish about the whole thing. “And what about everything else?”
Her hands fell to her lap. “We’ve come to a deadlock. And, like you advised, we’ll take it one day at a time. Cruz says he’s happy to forgo his dreams of having kids. But I’m still not convinced he won’t hate me for it later. So we’ve agreed to discuss the issue again in six months’ time. If anything changes, if his desire to be a dad grows, then we’ll have to address it all again. I don’t want him to spend his life regretting the choice, but as long as we discuss it, and are totally open with our feelings, then I’m happy.”
“I think that’s a smart move.” What else could they do? She was willing to break her own heart by letting him go so he could find the type of woman who wanted to have a family, but he only wanted her, and was willing to forgo his own desires. She couldn’t have a baby just because it was expected in some circles, if she really didn’t feel that was her path. I was glad they’d come to some sort of compromise in the meantime. And really, no one knew what the future held.
Micah’s rust bucket of a car spluttered and belched its way nosily down the driveway, alerting me to their presence and we all headed to the front door. Nerves fluttered at the thought of seeing Kai again, but I tamped them right back down.
Still, my breathing quickened when I caught sight of him unfolding his long, lean body out of the small hatchback. Micah said something I didn’t catch, and Kai threw his head back and laughed, exposing his straight, shiny white teeth. As far as teeth went they were pretty spectacular, if you were into things like that. Which I wasn’t. Just being observant.
Then there was his hair – too-long, surfer-style, wavy, a blond that made his tan more prominent. Where he got a tan in winter was beyond me, but while it had faded at Cedarwood it had never disappeared entirely. And maybe it was all the yoga, but he moved differently to most men, he sort of drifted forward.
“You absolute stalker,” Amory whispered in my ear, making me jump in fright.
“I am not…”
Winter at Cedarwood Lodge Page 23