by Ana Barrons
She was all in one piece.
Chapter Forty-Five
Kate cracked her eyelids enough to see where she was. For the longest time she’d been aware of the beeping and whining of medical equipment. The sight of striped curtains confirmed that she was in a hospital. Again. Why?
Jeremy.
Panic rose inside her. “Jeremy,” she whispered.
“I’m here, Aunt Kate.” And then her godson’s beloved face was close to hers, grinning like the little imp he was. “I made it out just in time, and my dad grabbed me by the arms and pulled me through the window. I broke it with a golf club and it made a big mess, and I got some cuts on my forehead, see?”
Kate saw stitches on Jeremy’s forehead and smiled. He was okay. Thank you, God.
“We thought you were dead, but then Dad found you in the bathtub and the bomb guy pulled off the tape and it didn’t blow up. Good thing, huh?”
“Yeah,” she rasped. Her body ached all over. She drifted back into sleep, even as a deep voice said her name.
* * *
“Kate?”
She cracked her eyelids open again, and this time the face before her was older, impossibly handsome, with dark circles under his eyes and beard stubble that had to itch like crazy. Her heart filled. “Gabe?” she whispered.
Tears filled those beautiful gray eyes. “It’s me,” he said, and kissed the hand he was holding. “How do you feel?”
She squeezed his hand and tried to smile. “Tired,” she said. “Achy.”
“Yeah, I bet. You fell fourteen feet in that bathtub, right through the floor. And then pieces of the ceiling fell on top of you.” He stroked her cheek tenderly. “But you’re okay, honey. Bruised as hell, but no broken bones. A little internal bleeding but they have that under control.”
“Do I... My face...”
“Is as beautiful as ever.” His smile told her he spoke the truth. “You’re more beautiful to me than anyone in the whole world. You always were.”
So were you. But she didn’t say it. Not now. Not yet.
“I know I’ve given you plenty of reasons not to trust me, but—”
“Gabe,” she interjected, and pressed a finger to his warm lips. “Later.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’ll wait until you’re ready. But I won’t give up, Kate. This is too important.”
She smiled and let herself drift back to sleep.
The next time she woke there were two women talking in her room. It was several seconds before she realized one was her mother and the other was Miriam Hugo. It had been eight years since those two had spoken.
“He came for dinner a couple of days ago and told us everything,” Miriam said. “And you know, I remembered how I used to think, years ago, that Kate and Gabe seemed more suited to each other than she and Steven did.”
Okay, she had to be dreaming. Miriam never said Steven’s name, never mind in the context she’d just imagined.
“I think Kate has loved him for a long time,” her mother said. “It’s too bad she wasted all those years with that insane bastard, pardon my French. My God, I can’t believe none of us saw him for what he was.”
They were talking about Drew, obviously. By now the whole world probably knew he’d planned to take down her plane, to kill her and all those other passengers, to get his bill passed. And get rid of her, of course. She groaned at the hideousness of it.
Her mother was instantly at her side. “Honey? It’s Mom. I came as soon as I heard. Thank God... Thank God...” She dissolved into tears.
“I’m okay,” Kate whispered.
Miriam came around the other side of the bed and leaned down to kiss Kate on the forehead. Then she stroked her hair. “I’m so relieved,” she said. “I don’t think Gabe could have survived losing you again.”
Tears sprang into Kate’s eyes. “He...told you?”
“Yes, he told us everything, honey. And I only pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive him. He loves you so much.”
Kate closed her eyes but the tears leaked out anyway. “I’m afraid,” she whispered.
“I know, honey,” Miriam said. “I don’t blame you, and neither does he. He was cruel to you, and to be honest, his sisters enabled him by blindly taking his side. We all hurt you, and I deeply regret that. Sylvia and Carolyn feel the same way.”
“Thank you,” Kate whispered. “That means more than you can imagine.”
“You just take your time with Gabe, and if it’s right you’ll know it. If not, well, then he blew it and you’ll both have to move on.”
Kate gazed up at her. “I never imagined I’d hear this from you.”
“No,” she said. “I was dead inside for a lot of years. I wasn’t much of a mother to my other children. And men, no matter how old they are, they’re still little boys inside.”
“I loved Steven, Miriam, you need to know that. And I mourned him for a long time, even though—”
“I know all that, honey. He wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone.”
A sob burst from Kate and her mother squeezed her hand. “I tried to make him happy. I’m so sorry...”
“Shhh,” Miriam soothed. “I know you did.”
“Did Gabe tell you—”
“Yes, and no one is judging you for that. Either one of you.”
Kate swiped at tears. “I’m terrified of him. He can hurt me so easily.”
“He’s really a marshmallow inside.”
“I don’t know how to get past everything that’s happened. And I don’t mean only with him. I mean Drew, and... My God, I let Archer into my home, with Jeremy there.” She sniffled and her mother handed her a tissue. “How did I stay married to a man like that for so many years? What’s wrong with me? Am I really that naïve?”
“Your father messed with your head,” her mother said, regret plain in her eyes. “I think unconsciously you found yourself a father figure quite a bit like him—emotionally unavailable—in an attempt to get it right this time.” When both Kate and Miriam stared at her she said, “Couples counseling. We’ve just started, at my insistence.”
“The men you’ve loved have all let you down in their own way,” Miriam said. “Gabe knows that, and he wants a chance to redeem himself. But you’ve got to be ready to let him, honey. There’s no point rushing into something if you’re still carrying a lot of baggage.”
“If he loves you enough he’ll wait,” her mother chimed in.
“Oh, he does,” Miriam said.
Chapter Forty-Six
Three months later
It was dark when Gabe and Jeremy pulled up in front of Lindsay’s house. “You’ve been wearing your cop face an awful lot lately,” Jeremy said. “Mom says you’re not happy.”
“Where did that come from?” Gabe asked. “We just spent the whole day at Kings Dominion having a great time.”
“Yeah, but as soon as we got off the rides you stopped smiling. Every time.”
“Seriously?” He hadn’t thought he was so obvious. “I’ll have to work on that.”
Jeremy opened the passenger door. “Oh, and Mom said she wants to talk to you.” He ran ahead of Gabe.
“Swell,” Gabe murmured. “That ought to make me smile.”
Jeremy ran into the house and Gabe took his time walking up to the porch. Lindsay stepped outside and closed the door behind her. Uh-oh.
“What’s up?” he asked before she had a chance to throw any shit at him.
“I wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to change our agreement to joint custody. All you have to do is sign the papers and I’ll give them to my lawyer.”
Gabe took a step back. “Wow. Really?”
Lindsay nodded, a slight smile on her face. “I’ve been a jerk to you, and I’m sorry.” She laid a hand on her abdomen. “I’m pregnant again.”
Gabe felt a pinprick of regret in his gut. It wasn’t that he still loved Lindsay, or that he wished they were still married. But there was something about Jeremy’s mother ca
rrying another man’s baby... “Congratulations.”
She tilted her head to the side. “You’re a tiny bit jealous. Admit it.”
He shrugged. She always was too intuitive for her own good. “Maybe a little. But it’ll be nice for Jeremy to have a brother or sister that’s really his.”
She nodded, and it was hard to miss the satisfaction in her eyes. “Maybe you and Kate will have kids someday.”
“Wow, you’re full of surprises tonight.” He tried to smile. “I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, but there’s nothing happening on that front.” Nothing at all. She hadn’t called, or asked to see him—other than when he dropped Jeremy off or picked him up. She was living in a rented condo in Foggy Bottom and he had no idea whether she even planned to stay in the area.
“Kate was prepared to die to make sure Jeremy got out of that house in time,” Lindsay said, her expression sober. “I’ll be grateful to her every day of my life. And...there’s something else.”
Uh-oh, here it comes.
“I was so angry that day...of the explosion.”
Gabe held up a hand. “Please. You had every right to be angry. And believe me, if Jeremy hadn’t made it...” Tears welled every time he thought about how close he had come to losing his son. A glance at Lindsay told him she had the same reaction. “It’s over. Whatever you said or did is water under the bridge.”
“No, I mean before, when you picked him up. I said something that wasn’t completely true.”
“What?”
“I told you Kate gave me the money to get full custody of Jeremy.” She looked down and slid one foot along the slate walkway, back and forth. “But she had no idea that I used any of that money to fight you in court. She never would have given me a dime if she’d known.”
Gabe hadn’t believed it for a moment, but said, “Thanks for telling me, Linds. I appreciate it.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry I lied about that. It wasn’t fair. If you love her, well... Go get her. Don’t let her walk away.” Like you let me was the unspoken message.
If only it were that easy. “Thanks,” he said.
He drove back to his apartment and climbed the steps wearily. Go get her. Right. Everybody else said, Give her space. That’s what she seemed to want, so he’d been gritting his teeth for three months, forcing himself not to call her unless he found a reasonable pretext that involved Jeremy, emailing her only occasionally, and only driving by her condo three or four times a week when he simply couldn’t stand being so far away from her. Fuck. He was pathetic.
Once inside he sighed so deeply he almost missed the quiet voice saying his name. He spun to the living room, where Kate sat on the sofa, knees pulled to her chest, watching him. In that moment something warm and joyful pushed through the pain in his chest, stopping his breath. He couldn’t speak.
“Sorry if I scared you,” she said with a shy smile.
“You nearly stopped my heart,” he managed, though his mouth was dry as dust. “Other than that no harm done.” He dropped his keys and his gun on the kitchen table and then stood there, heart pounding with a mixture of hope and fear, unsure what the hell to do or say.
“How’d you get in?” he finally asked.
“I borrowed Jeremy’s key and made a duplicate.”
He moved toward her cautiously. “Does that mean you plan to use it again?”
“Depends,” she said.
“On what?”
“On whether I can trust you.”
He stopped and raised his face to the ceiling, then blew out a breath. “How can I prove it to you, Kate? Tell me. I’ll do anything.”
“Come and sit down first,” she said.
He sat on the other end of the sofa, knowing that if he touched her he would pull her into his arms and never let her go. But he didn’t want to scare her off. Again. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” he said.
“I can’t either.” She glanced up at the photo over the couch, the drawing of him and Jeremy that he’d kept on his wall all these years. “And I can’t believe you didn’t throw that out a long time ago.”
“I would never have thrown that out.”
Her body language told him that she was frightened. Well, he couldn’t blame her. Here she was with a guy who had hurt her, insulted her, betrayed her...and who was desperate to pull off her clothes and drive into her with all the pent up lust he’d been carrying around since the last time they’d made love.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she said.
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you’re a cat and I’m a plump little mouse.”
“I’d say you’re a skinny little mouse, but you’d probably hit me.”
“Hitting you would require me to unwrap my arms, and then you’d pounce.” She grinned.
He grinned back. “There’s nothing I would rather do more right now than pounce on you, but I’m fighting it.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “I need to understand...all those years. How could you have thought the worst of me for so long?”
He leaned forward and clasped his hands between his knees. “Guilt,” he said. “Anger. Stupidity. Selfishness. Immaturity. Want me to go on?”
“Was it only me you were angry with?”
He shook his head. “I was angry at you, at me, even at Steve... And then when you hooked up with Drew, I was also humiliated. And that really pissed me off.”
“I get why you were angry, but why humiliated?”
Gabe closed his eyes. “Because I wanted you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I planned to. I went over to Joy and Ben’s place, and I asked Joy how you were. You were spending a lot of time at their lake house on the weekends then. I knew you were hurting and I knew I was being an asshole, but I was too much of a coward to call you.”
“What did you think I would do if you called?”
He shrugged. “Tell me to fuck off. It was what I deserved.”
“I wouldn’t have,” she said.
“So, I more or less poured my heart out to Joy, telling her that I wanted to spend some time with you, trying to get a sense of whether it would be uncool for us to be together.”
“She never told me any of that,” Kate said, sounding outraged. “Damn her.”
“She listened very carefully and then informed me that you were in love with a very good friend of hers—a congressman.” He spread his palms. “She took such satisfaction in telling me that I felt like a complete asshole for opening up to her.”
“What a bitch,” Kate said. “I never, ever loved Drew as much as—” She laid her head on her knees.
Gabe reached over and lifted her chin with one finger. There were tears in her eyes. “As much as...”
Her voice was a harsh whisper. “As much as I loved you.”
His heart soared. “I love you, Kate,” he said. “I loved you then and I love you now. And I’ll never stop.”
Kate sniffed. Very gently, Gabe pulled her arms away and lowered her legs to the floor. Then he pulled her on to his lap and held her close. They stayed like that for a long time, and nothing had ever felt so right.
“Even though Joy’s been a bitch to me for years,” Kate said minutes later, “I’m glad the DA backed off charging her with conspiracy. People want their pound of flesh, and the real villains in this are all dead.”
“Well, she’ll have a tough time in next year’s elections,” Gabe said. “As will most conservatives in light of what’s happened. But her in particular. Thank God that bill’s dead in the water.”
“Arlen Fischer’s career is over.”
“No great loss as far as I’m concerned. Hey, did you read about Joe Marshall? He’s out of the coma and expected to make a full recovery.”
“Oh, I was so happy when I saw that,” Kate said. “Thank God. His family can get their life back together. And speaking of families, Ben doesn’t seem very happy with the separation.”
“No,” Gabe
said, loving being able to hold her like this and just talk. “But I think he likes all the begging Joy’s doing for him to come home.”
“I don’t blame him,” Kate said, smiling. “But you know, in spite of everything he loves her, and I think he’ll forgive her over time.”
Gabe twirled a lock of her hair. “How long will it take you to forgive me?”
She lowered her head and spoke quietly. “I’ve been working on forgiveness for the past few months. Not only forgiving you, but myself.”
“For what?”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “For marrying Steve even though I was in love with you and carrying your child.”
Gabe felt a stab of regret for the child they had lost. “Kate—”
She held a finger to his lips. “For allowing myself to be deceived by two dangerously disturbed men. Seriously, what does that say about me?”
He stroked her hair. “Men like Drew and Archer are masters of deception, honey, particularly with someone like you who’s kind and trusting and always looks for the best in people.”
“But I let Archer into my house when Jeremy was there, even though you warned me not to trust him. Jeremy could have been killed, Gabe. I don’t know how to forgive myself for that.”
Gabe pulled her closer. “You had no way of knowing what he was capable of. And you’re human. And you had reason not to take my word for anything at the time.” He paused. “The question is, do you feel you can take me at my word now? Because if you don’t...”
She tipped her face up and he saw the answer in her eyes. “I do,” she whispered.
His gut uncoiled at her words, releasing a huge sigh of relief. “Thank God,” he said, and wrapped her tightly in his arms. “I need you in my life.” Her hair smelled like spring. He nuzzled her neck and felt her muscles tighten, heard a small gasp escape from her lips. Oh, yeah. Then he turned her head and rubbed his lips against hers.