by M. N. Forgy
Bobby is untying Addie, so I step up to them and take a knee.
“You okay?” I rub Addie’s face. She looks so helpless and hurt, the beast inside of me is practically breaking through its cage. I want to push everyone away from her, and roar my anguish to the world.
She looks over her shoulder at Bender and Louve before glancing at me. Her blue eyes and trembling lips killing me to see.
“Don’t let them get away, Zane,” she pleads. The desperation in her voice coaxing the darkness out of me. If that’s what my sunshine wants, I will do it. I will end this war tonight. I nod, it’s my time to make my spot at the table worth it.
“I’ll get them.” I give her a kiss on the lips, her mouth trembling against mine. Pushing off the ground, I stomp through the sand toward the two cowards who fucked with the wrong club.
Sprinting to a motorcycle parked close by, not caring if it’s mine, I jump on it, and rush out of the beach, chasing the motherfucker that has haunted us way too long.
Louve looks behind her and stretches her arm out before firing a shot at me. It misses. Bender tries to speed up taking a corner way too fast. I don’t slow down, I gain on them and pull my other gun from my holster.
I aim at the back tire and hear my dad and Grandpa Bull in my head.
“When firing a gun, you aim and shoot on an exhale, son.”
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Upon releasing my last breath, I fire. I release so much with that shot and breath, I feel my soul erupt from the chamber of the gun.
The back tire pops, a spark of fire moments before they lay the bike over. Louve goes flying across the highway, the bike sliding across the asphalt as Bender rolls down a hill.
Stopping my own motorcycle, the pipes hot, I put it on its stand and march over to Louve who is closer. My nostrils flare, anger driving through me like a toxic venom. Aiming my gun at her, it’s obvious she’s dead. Her eyes are open, blood coming from her ears, nose, and mouth. Her head smashing against the pavement without a helmet killing her upon impact.
Stepping over her, I go to find Bender.
“Come out come out where ever you are!” I show tune, the beast in me excited to come out and play more than ever. This is a score that will be at the top of my charts, one that will never compare with any kill before it. This one has meaning. Purpose.
Over the road, and down the grassy hill I find the sack of shit.
He groans, holding his side and trying to get up on his knees.
Stepping down the hill, I press my boot into his side and shove him over.
He groans, falling on his back. I hover over him, my hand shaking as I aim at him.
Glancing up at me, his face covered in blood, he smiles. Interesting.
“What are you smiling about?” I tilt my head to the side.
“You can’t kill me, boy,” he rasps. “You should know that.”
Pointing my gun at his head, I think about all the lives I’ve ever taken. The way I needed to kill to feel relief.
“I’d kill you a thousand times if I could,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears as I think about Bull dying. About Addie hurting, and about how this man has taunted my life since I was a little boy.
Closing my eyes, I fire the gun. It jerks in my hand, the feeling rattling through my limbs.
Skull and brains spray out, and Bender’s eyes remain open. The same haunting look terrorizing me. I kick him and shoot him again and again. His body jerking with every bullet and thrust of my boot.
Screaming and releasing the rage and sins from my soul, I beat the fucking shit out of his corpse, willing him to come back alive so I can kill him again. He went too easy for the pain he’s caused my family.
Red and blue lights light up the sky from up the hill. The cops; shit. Wiping my face, blood smearing, I turn around and head back to the bike, and drive back to where my club and my brothers await me.
Everyone hovers around Bull who is still laying on the ground. My dad stands, holding his side where he was shot. His face winced in pain, and shirt soaked.
“Zane!” Addie screams. Limping toward me, her face distraught.
I rush to her, wrapping my arms around her. Her warm body against mine makes everything feel like it’s going to be okay. God, it feels so good to know she’s alive.
Pushing her face into my chest she cries and sobs. Her nails digging into my back for relief.
“Shhh!” I try and calm her. Pulling her as close as I can.
Eyes above her head catch my attention. Bobby’s. He’s looking at me for the first time more than some prick after his daughter. He gives me a nod, conveying he accepts me to be with his daughter. I nod back, kissing her forehead.
“Is it done?” my dad asks, limping over. I nod, still holding Addie. Never wanting to let her go.
“Is Bull going to be okay?” Addie asks. Looking at Bull, covered in blood, I really don’t know.
“Are you okay?” I whisper into the top of her head, changing the subject.
“I am,” she mutters. “You?”
I look at my club, the sadness hanging in the air, and I don’t know if I will ever be okay.
“I don’t know.” I try and hold in my emotions.
A crow calls from above in the night, catching my attention. It circles and calls as if it’s crying for us. For Bull. A man we call father, a man that helped so many men find their way.
How?
18
Addie
Lying on a bed in the triage of the hospital, Zane holds my hand tightly. My fingers ache trying to hold his thick fingers in between mine, but I wouldn’t dare let go. He stares at the wall, lost in his own nightmare. Bull was severely hurt and was lifted by helicopter to the hospital as Shadow and I were by ambulance. The entire club is quiet in the hall, a dark gray cloud hanging above everyone.
“Nooo!!” the sudden scream from Zane’s mom, Dani, comes from down the hall. Zane’s head snaps in that direction.
“Go, she needs you.” I sob, knowing that sound oh so well.
Zane kisses my hand and pulls his fingers from mine. My hand sweaty and pale from loss of circulation.
“Mom?” Zane calls, entering the hall. Dani crashes into Zane, crying into his chest.
“Why? How?” She continues to sob.
Zane holds his hands out as if he doesn’t know if he should hug his mom or not. He looks into my room, and I nod. Encouraging him to embrace her.
He does, and I notice his whole body sag with relief.
“He’s an ICU, they don’t know if he’ll—” She cuts off, and Zane’s face takes on a hardened look.
* * *
Suddenly my red in the face mom is rushing into my room.
“Oh my God!” she cries flinging herself onto me.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I tell her. “Be careful you’re going to hurt the baby,” I scorn her, I don’t want the stress of me making her miscarry.
“I was so scared, I just—” She squeezes me, and my eyes fill with tears.
“I’m here. I’m okay,” I whisper.
She lifts up, wiping her eyes from tears.
“You need to go back to Texas, this is just not for you—”
“Mom,” I stop her. “I am staying here. This is my life, and I have more support here than I ever will in Texas,” I inform her. Grabbing my hand, she nods. Kissing my hand.
“Are you sure?”
I smile.
“I’m sure.”
* * *
A male doctor wearing a lab coat enters my room and Zane whispers something to his mom before following him in.
* * *
“So, plenty of fluids and rest, Addie.” The doctor smiles at me, and hands Zane my paperwork.
“Thanks, doctor,” I rasp, trying to sit up.
“Please, call me Fernan.” He smiles. I give a firm nod, and try and sit up.
My pinky is numb from the stitches. Louve cut it so deep there was a lot of
damage. He helps me off the bed, and we step into the main hall. The brothers and Ol’ Ladies stand around the waiting room. Hard faces now sad, strong men now weak.
Dad steps out of the group, his face ashen from the night's events.
“Where is Bull?” I ask, my own heart breaking.
“He’s on life support right now, babe,” he informs. “He took a lot of bullets, and his heart is not doing well.”
“He had a heart attack on the flight over,” Dani informs, nibbling on her nail.
“I’m so sorry,” I mutter, my tone grave. Bull is the kind of man you never expect to die. He’s just that person that is always there.
“Let’s get you home,” Zane whispers from behind me. I shake my head.
“We can stay,” I tell him, knowing this is where he needs to be right now.
“No, you need rest,” he refuses, being protective of me.
“You do need rest, there’s nothing you can do right now.” Shadow gives me a polite nod and turns back around to the club. He’s scary but loyal.
“How are you?” Zane asks his dad, pointing to the blood spot on his side.
“I refused to let them care for me. Doc got it out. I’m fine.” He shrugs. Jesus, he’s tough.
“Go, babe. I’ll call if there’s any update,” Mom says.
Zane wraps his arm around my hips and helps me out of the hospital and toward Bobby’s truck.
Back at the club, I stand in the bathroom looking at myself, more like leaning over the counter reliving the whole night over again. My hair is stained with blood, my nose busted with a small strip over the bridge of it, and my face red and scuffed from sand.
The look in Louve’s eyes, the deathly sound in Bender’s voice. Sighing, I hang my head. If only I knew who Miss Louve was, the men never would have tried to rescue me, and Bull would be okay. The club is deathly quiet, everyone in mourning and praying to Gods we know nothing about. If we lose Bull, how will this club rebuild? How will we move on in his memory?
* * *
“You okay?” Zane steps into the bathroom. He’s shirtless, nothing but his jeans and a frown.
“As much as I can be, I guess.”
Zane grabs a rag and wets it, his hands wringing it out before he raises his hand and gently dabs at the blood dried on my face.
“Zane, are you sure Louve and Bender are—”
“Dead? Yes.” His voice is so confident I don’t argue. It just scares me to think they might be alive.
“You know Mr. Thad was the son of Bender,” I inform Zane.
His eyes widen, looking at me.
He rinses the blood and continues to pamper me as if I hadn’t said anything.
“It doesn’t matter. They’re all gone, Sunshine.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod.
“I know,” I whisper.
“Let me get you some clean clothes,” Zane insists, pushing me along my lower back.
In his room, he helps me out of my stained clothes, before rushing to his dresser and pulls free a Devil’s Dust shirt. Unfolding it, he rolls it up and puts it over my arms, and down my bruised torso. It’s big but so soft. Grabbing it, I inhale the smell of clean soap.
“The Devil looks good on you,” he whispers, running his hands through my hair. How can you feel so lost and found at the same time. I hurt and love. Desperate, and grateful.
He bends down at the knees and picks me up, my hands around his neck as he brings me to his bed.
He kicks off his shoes and jeans and pulls us under the blankets. A cave flashing a small amount of hope for the night.
“If anything would have happened to you. If I would have lost you,” he begins, and I sob again. The thought of life without us together seeming without purpose. Placing my hand on his cheek, I kiss him. I kiss him like I promised myself I would kiss him if I could see him one last time when I was on the beach. I breathe him in and exhale his scent.
“What can I do for you? Are you comfortable? Do you want some food?” he whispers, rubbing my cheeks with the pad of his finger. Looking into his vibrant green eyes, I want this. Exactly this. Him and I together.
“I want you to read to me.”
His eyes flash, and I can hear his heart beat a little harder. Turning on his side, he breaks free from our fort and grabs a book from the side table.
“Once upon a time,” he begins, and I snuggle closer to him not caring what the book is.
If my prince in dark armor is reading it. I want to listen to it.
* * *
Zane
The look of Louve’s eyes, and the sound of Bender moaning echo in my head. Addie screaming, and Bull being shot over and over again have me wake up in a sweaty panic.
“Love Hurts” by Nazareth is playing in a room down the hall.
The room is dark, and I’m covered in sweat. Trying to catch my breath, I push the covers off me.
“Are you okay?” Addie is up, rubbing my back with her hand.
“Nightmare,” I rasp.
“Want to go get some ice cream?” her voice whispers, causing me to recall our late night Ice cream trips to the kitchen when she would have nightmares.
She kisses my shoulder, and then my neck. Her nails scratching down my back. The lyrics from the song making me want nothing more than to have Addie close to me. I don’t want ice cream, I want her. I need her.
Rolling on top of her, she smiles up at me. Her hurt hand running down my chest. I grab her by the wrist and kiss her pinky.
“I love you,” she mouths.
“I love you,” I whisper, and it’s true. She might be the only person I’ve ever loved outside my parents and sister. Bending down, I kiss her, and she takes a deep breath through her nose.
Running my hand up her shirt, my shirt, I grab her tit and pinch her nipple. Kissing her neck, I lick and suck the dip of her collarbone.
I stand up, jerking my boxers off and am back on top of her in seconds. She kisses my chest, my lips on the spot behind her ear.
Slowly, I run my palm down her stomach, under her panties and onto the mound of her pussy. Her head falls back, her eyes closed.
“Be my Ol’ Lady, Addie?” I whisper to her as I deliver her pleasure with my fingers.
“Yes!” she moans. Using both hands, I slide her panties off her thighs and hover over her.
“Yes?” I ask.
“Yes!” She moans louder. Grasping my cock, I position it between her legs and push inside of her. She tenses, and I thrust into her harder. She’s so wet and ready, so willing and mine.
My chest hurts from the loss of my club, but Addie’s love feels so good.
She pushes against my chest and sits up on her knees. I jerk myself curious what she’s doing until she’s on all fours, looking over her shoulder at me. Fuck, she’s amazing.
Rubbing my palm along her ass, I press myself between her legs and her head snaps back, hair splaying over her back.
Wrapping my arms around her body, I pull her back flush with my chest. Her head leaning back on my shoulder as I make love to her.
Grabbing her by the chin, I kiss her. My tongue invading her mouth, I taste and nip every drop she has.
My other hand playing with her nipple, I feel the walls of her pussy clench. My balls tingle with excitement as I begin to pound into her harder. Her eyes clench shut, and her mouth falls open.
Kissing her open mouth, I feel my orgasm chase up my limbs and explode into my shaft.
She shivers, and I moan. Pulling her close, wanting her sweaty skin against mine, I take her orgasm, and love her more than I ever have.
She falls onto her knees, huffing, and I rub my palm along her back. The ridges of her spine running under my hand.
Positioning myself next to her, I grab her hand and raise it, holding it.
“Listen closely to me, Addie.” She looks at me, her face flushed.
“Troubles will come, and pain will dance in your hurt. But don’t forget this.”
“
I won’t,” she promises.
Epilogue
Two Weeks Later
Addie
Lockdown has officially been lifted, and club business has slowly started to continue. I’m back at work and have been asked to be the principal. I haven’t accepted yet. Things feel weird knowing Bull is in the hospital blocks away. We might get a call he is breathing on his own, we may get one we’re all scared we are going to get. That our leader has passed.
I’m still at the club because I’m terrified of being alone, and Zane refuses to leave the club. He’s taking his role as vice president very seriously.
“How is your nose?” He runs the pad of his finger down the crook of my nose, the simple touch tickling.
“Good.” I shrug. My pinky is having a really difficult time healing. I can’t use it.
“That looks really bad.” Piper looks at my finger like she might puke.
“Hey, baby girl.” Saint flirts from across the bar. Piper gives him a look, and Zane’s shoulders tense. If the brothers or Ol’ Ladies saw Piper and Saint playing games like they are, I wonder if they would threaten them with a bullet or let it slide now that Zane and I are together?
Bobby sits next to us at the bar with a bowl of cereal. Anahi must be at the hospital with Dani checking on Bull as Bobby with cereal in the morning is not something you see often. Bobby and Zane have been cordial with each other, which is a blessing. Bull’s still in the same condition from what I heard. On life support at the hospital. I’ve seen him a few times, and it kills me to see someone so strong, so vulnerable, fighting for his life. The sound of machines breathing for him, the smell of antiseptic overwhelming. I pray for him and kiss him on the cheek before I leave. There are flowers all over his room, but the darkness and sadness that loom over that room are no match for some roses.
The doors to the club open and everyone’s head turns hoping it’s news on Bull.
It’s Anahi. She’s wearing black again. A sharp black dress and heels, with a big black floppy hat. She’s worn black since the night she found out about Bull, she’s been sad and taken aback by it. Much like we all have. Her hair is down and she has on no makeup. Dark glasses cover her swollen eyes from crying. We’ve all tried to be there for her, but she’s a mess. She has the right to be. She only wants her son Maverick, who has run away last I heard. We all have gone out looking for him, but there’s no word on where he is. He’s a lost soul without his father.