But we don’t have far to go. Grandma’s room is right next to the door, which locks behind us as it shuts. Comforting. Grandma is going to be cold. The door is going to provide a constant draft. Perfect. This is getting better and better.
“Did you catch that game over the weekend? Boy, I…” the official drones on.
By now, I am at my breaking point. I clear my throat, loudly.
“Ah, yes, and who do we have here? Is it Lacy Turner?” the official asks.
“Lucy Turner,” I snap back.
“And you are?” he asks.
“Katie Turner, her granddaughter,” I say.
“We really need someone here who is of age. How old are you?” he asks.
“I’m of age. I’m eighteen.”
“Really? You look about twelve.”
That’s it. I am going to lose it. Right here, right now.
“Well we better hit the road. Gary, I’m sure we’ll be seeing you soon. C’mon, Chuck,” the lady ambulance worker breaks in. “You wanna go hit the button up at the desk and let us out?”
Chuck rolls his eyes and walks as slow as he possibly can up the hallway. When he reaches the nurses’ station, he pushes a large black button fastened to the wall. The light next to the door turns from red to green and his female co-worker opens the door.
“Bye, Bonnie. Chuck, please be sure to tell your uncle I said hello, okay?” Gary asks, as Chuck marches out the door without a response.
“Well, getting back to business, Miss Turner, are you your grandmother’s legal guardian?” Gary presses.
“No, I’m not. My dad is,” I respond. This line of questioning is getting on my nerves. Is he even going to address Grandma directly? I hate the way he’s treating her like she’s an imbecile or a little kid.
“Then he’s going to have to sign the paperwork I have prepared in my office. When is he expected to arrive?” Gary asks.
“He works until three. He should be here soon,” I say.
“Then I guess I’ll have to wait then, won’t I?” And without so much as a backward glance at Grandma, he leaves the room.
“Asshole,” I mutter.
“Now, now dear. We weren’t expecting this to be some grand hotel,” Grandma says.
“No, but I thought they’d treat you like a living, breathing human being.”
“I’m an old, senile woman who can’t take care of herself.”
“And that’s what scares me,” I say. “If you’re not even given a voice, how are you gonna defend yourself around here? They’re gonna walk all over you.”
“Honey, I’ve been stepped on my whole life,” she says. “Why would it stop now that I’m in the care of strangers?”
That remark slices through my heart. Not because it is tinged with self-pity, but because it’s true.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Adam
It is a Brian weekend. And I so need one. It’ll be good to get out of my head for a while and kick back with my brother.
“You know you don’t have to ring the doorbell. About two vehicles a day go down this road—me and the mailman—I spotted you coming about a mile away,” I tease.
“Adam, I like to observe the formalities. I mean, how am I supposed to know if you’re shacked up in here with some girl or not? I wouldn’t wanna interrupt anything,” Brian shoots back.
“You’re the one tied down with a ball and chain, bro,” I say. “Not me, remember?”
“Well the shackles are off and I say we head out for a night on the town instead of being cooped up in this log cabin all night.”
“And where the hell do you wanna go?”
“I don’t know,” he replies. “Somewhere downtown? I’m sure we can find some bar to hang out in.”
“Brian, you do know it’s parade day. Are you crazy? You really feel like fighting our way through that crowd?” I challenge.
“That’s the brother I love! Not even worried about having to use his fake ID, just concerned about the throngs of people,” he jokes.
“Hey man, I’m not drinking,” I assert. “Everyone and their mother goes out on parade night. That’s all I need is for someone to see me. And it’ll be bye-bye, ambulance.”
“Well, who says you have to drink?” he demands. “We can still scope out the babe situation. Adam, you desperately need to get laid, bro. I mean, seriously, how long has it been? I know you like living out in nature and all, but what are you now, like a Buddhist monk or something?”
I don’t give him time to finish before slamming him in a headlock.
“All right, all right…I won’t pressure you. I just think it’d take your mind off of things, ya know?” Brian says, his face bright red from my stranglehold.
“Bri, if you came up here to hash out this whole April thing, it ain’t gonna happen, you understand? If that’s your game plan, you can get right back in your car…”
“Whoa, hold up, man. I get it. I’ll drop it,” he asserts. “But I’m here now, and if you actually want to talk to a human being face to face about the painful situation you’ve had to endure—I’m here for you, okay?”
“Yeah, man. I know,” I sigh. “But I don’t.”
I turn away and look out the window at the mountain fully illuminated by the setting sun. Will the past continue to haunt me? I want to shut the door on it for good, and now is the time to start.
“I met somebody else,” I declare.
“What?” Brian exclaims.
The look on my brother’s face is priceless. Maybe I really am turning into a Buddhist monk.
“Who is she?” he demands.
“She’s a girl I met on one of my ambulance calls a couple of weeks ago.”
“Is this the damsel in distress you texted me about?”
“Yeah.”
“How many times have you gone out with her?”
“None.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“No, it wasn’t the right time to ask her out,” I explain. “When I first met her, we were taking her grandmother to the hospital after a car accident.”
“Bro, that would’ve been the perfect time to ask her out when she was all vulnerable and shit.”
“I don’t know what Kelly sees in you. I really don’t.”
“Hey, I’m not the one growing old and alone here.”
“I tried calling her after that, but…”
“But?”
“Her father answered and basically hung up on me.”
“Wait, she still lives at home?”
“Yeah, so?”
“You really wanna go there?”
“Just because you’re seeing someone old enough to be your mother…”
“Ha, ha, very funny.”
“It is, if you think about it.”
“No, I think your head totally isn’t in the game right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“This girl sounds like she’d be more trouble than it’s worth,” he proclaims. “Last thing you need is to be drawn into some family drama. Take your wise older brother’s advice and stay away from this one.”
“Because she has an overprotective father and an injured grandmother? Brian, I think you’re the one who’s losing it.”
“Well, I think something about her put you off or you would’ve asked her out right then and there.”
“My confidence is a little shattered, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Nah, I don’t think that’s it,” he remarks. “You always go after what you want outta life. Some kind of sixth sense kept you from making a move on this girl. And I think you better listen to your subconscious, man. It’s never wrong.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Katie
I am in serious daydream mode. Another Saturday night at home. Even Dad is out with his friends on parade night. It’s after eight o’clock, and I decided to leave the nursing home early when Grandma fell asleep. I zone out watching the frozen macaroni and cheese tray spin through the micr
owave door.
I should call Jennifer on her cell phone and tell her I’ll meet up with them after all. Why not? It’s still early, and I can pull myself together in fifteen minutes. I don’t have anything green to wear, but I don’t think St. Patrick would mind. Nothing is holding me back…except my self-doubt.
These long, anxious days with Grandma have taken a toll on my appearance. I’m not exactly looking my best. I have big, dark circles under my eyes on a mid-March, sun-deprived complexion. There are a few breakouts around my nose. My red hair hangs limply in a ponytail. Check that, it will take me more like fifteen hours to look halfway decent.
I’m tired, and the thought of curling up with a book, a cup of decaffeinated tea, and Shelby at my feet sounds more appealing than a half hour drive in the dark to a noisy, crowded bar downtown. I’m more of a homebody anyway, and it’s a rare treat to have the house all to myself.
But I’m going to stay in this isolated predicament for the rest of my life if I don’t push myself out of it. Either I make the effort to have some sort of social life or I’ll end up like a senior citizen at the age of eighteen. I can’t give up so easily, so soon.
With my luck, I’ll run into Patrick again—the one person I don’t want to see, not ever. Everyone is out tonight. Even people who have moved away come back into town to celebrate at the bars. It’s often referred to as an ‘Irish Mardi Gras,’ and the debauchery isn’t too far from the New Orleans version. It’s not my scene, not any more.
I prefer to think about Adam. Nothing is more enticing than my fantasy life. Living in my mind always plays out exactly how I imagine. No surprises, no disappointments. Reality is a cheap alternative.
I walk into the living room and sit down on the sunken cushions of the couch. I roll onto my side, clasping my arms together.
I picture Adam on the couch, snuggling me from behind.
His arms are wrapped around my body. His hands are interlocked with mine. His breath tickles the hair on my neck.
Gently releasing my hands, he tilts my face back to his as his lips brush mine. I give in to him as I turn and bring the full weight of my body to rest on top of him. He moans as my hands make their way up his chest to caress the stubble on his face.
With a sudden motion, he is on top of me as he grabs my thigh, bringing it behind his back. I run my fingers through his hair, as he…
BEEP!
Ugh, the microwave. My heart is racing, and I try to catch my breath. The temporary feeling of exhilaration quickly turns to frustration. I get up with a sigh. Why can’t real life come anywhere close to that?
Chapter Twenty-Six Adam
I knew we shouldn’t have gone out tonight. As half a bottle of beer trickles down my back, the intoxicated guy behind me starts off apologizing, but he ends up babbling incoherently instead. He must’ve started drinking before noon and he’s still going. Overindulgence at its extreme.
I’m not a big drinker. I’m not a prude or anything, and I like to kick back with a cold one every now and then. But on the job, I have seen far too often the effects of driving under the influence. And it’s usually the innocent person who happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, who ends up paying the price for someone else’s bad behavior. I seriously hope this slobbering asshole isn’t getting behind the wheel anytime soon.
“Uh oh, did you morph into drill sergeant mode on me?” Brian jokes. “C’mon bro, it’s only a little spilled beer. We didn’t even get up to the bar yet. Don’t let that prick ruin your night before we even get started.”
“I’m not, but like I said, I’m gonna stick to non-alcoholic beverages tonight. After getting a look at the condition that guy’s in—you’re not gonna change my mind,” I respond.
“All right, all right, already. Jeez, loosen up. Will ya? You’re more straight-laced than a spinster schoolmarm out on the prairie,” Brian laughs.
Ever since we were kids, Brian has always gotten on my case about following the rules and doing the right thing. He isn’t exactly a rebel himself, but in comparison he makes me look like a Boy Scout. I’m used to it though, and he isn’t going to pressure me into taking risks I don’t want to take. I can’t afford to lose my job.
“Gimme a Guinness and a Shirley Temple for my brother here,” Brian tells the skimpily clad female bartender.
“A Coke would be fine,” I say to her as she smiles up at Brian.
“Be right back, fellas,” she responds.
“Since you find it so amusing to belittle me in public, the first round’s on you,” I state.
“My pleasure, bro. I’d crack a joke at your expense any day if it would get the attention of a fine piece of ass like that,” Brian responds.
“Watch it now, or I’ll have to tell Kelly you’re up to no good.”
“She has nothing to worry about. I’m only looking. Yeah, I’m in a relationship, but I’m not dead.”
“Not yet.”
As the bartender returns with our drinks, Brian pays the tab without any unnecessary flirting, and we move down to the end of the bar. Just when I’m going to ask him how long he plans on staying, I feel someone tap me on the back.
“Adam, oh my God. Funny seeing you here.”
It’s Suzanne, and she looks…amazing. Her hair gleams under the lights and she is dressed head to toe in black. She’s wearing a sweater that shows off her curves and tight jeans that accentuate her long legs clad in sexy thigh-high leather boots. The only hint of green comes from an emerald pendant around her neck.
“And who is this lovely lady?” Brian inquires. “Adam, are you gonna introduce us?”
I’m momentarily tongue-tied, and I have to admit, turned on. I have to pull myself together or Brian will never let me hear the end of it.
“Yeah, Suzanne, this is my brother, Brian. Brian, this is Suzanne. She works at the reception desk over at General’s ER,” I respond.
“Nice to meet you, Brian. I can see good looks run in the family,” Suzanne replies.
I blush. Is she coming on to me? This feels different from all the times we flirted with each other at the hospital. More intense, more significant…like we are walking down a dangerous path.
“You got that right, and let me say no woman in this bar looks hotter than you do tonight,” Brian proclaims, carrying on the banter.
“Why, thank you, Brian. At least one brother has the sense to pay me a compliment,” Suzanne asserts, looking me in the eye.
“Suzanne, you know you look good. You don’t need me to say it,” I respond.
“Oh, but I do, Adam. I want to hear it from you, most of all,” she relates.
“I think I’ll leave you two kids alone for a minute,” Brian announces, moving in the direction of the crowd gathered around the live band.
Man, I don’t know if I’m ready to see where this conversation is going. Why can’t Brian help me out before leaving me on my own with her? It’s not like I’m not into her, but she’s never come on so strong before. I have a feeling if she doesn’t get what she wants, then walking into General isn’t going to be such a comfortable situation any more. I have to watch my step.
“Adam, why is your shirt all wet?” she asks, running her hand down my back.
I jerk unconsciously. Did she just feel me up?
“What’s the matter? Am I getting you excited?” she challenges.
Before I can issue a response, a woman standing on the opposite side of me yells into her cell phone, “Katie Turner, you answer me! What’s going on?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Katie
This can’t be happening. From her bedside, I watch Grandma’s chest rise and fall. She is still alive, but barely.
I received a call out of the blue from the nurse on duty. She said Grandma had taken a sudden turn for the worse, could I come in immediately?
It’s all a blur. I couldn’t get Dad, so I called Jennifer. I don’t know what I said. I can’t even remember driving over here in my car. In a split second,
my world turned upside down.
A whistling sound rattles out of Grandma’s windpipe, like her life force is slowly easing its way out of her body.
“Honey, we called the ambulance, and they’re on their way. We’re going to try to get her to the hospital, but you’re gonna have to prepare yourself,” the nurse says, reentering the room.
“How can this be happening? I was just here about an hour ago and she was fine,” I exclaim.
“She’s been failing for a while now. Sure, she’s had her good days, but overall we’ve been noticing a steady deterioration in her condition,” the nurse responds.
“Yeah, she’s been awfully tired lately, but I didn’t think it was any cause for concern. Why weren’t we consulted if she had taken a turn for the worse?” I ask.
“Well, according to her chart, her legal guardian was consulted. It’s your father, correct?” she asks.
“Yes, but he never mentioned anything about it…to me,” I gasp, trying to keep my tears at bay.
The nurse’s eyes soften as we both come to the realization that I was left in the dark. Purposely shut out of how dire the situation was. The seriousness of what I am witnessing begins to take hold. I collapse, leaning forward onto the bed.
“I’m so sorry, miss. He should have told you. Wait here. Let me try getting your father on the phone again. You shouldn’t have to deal with this all by yourself,” the nurse says, backing out of the room, obviously nervous about being placed in an uncomfortable position.
“But she doesn’t realize…now I’m always going to be alone,” I say, staring at Grandma, willing her eyes to open.
“Please Grandma…don’t leave me…not now…please hang on…please try!” I beg.
A stillness comes over the room as the whistling sound stops. And just like that, she is gone.
My knuckles turn white as I grasp the bedspread. In a state of utter panic, I hysterically begin to scream. Sobs rack my body. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
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