More memories. “Guess the Sharpie damage didn’t keep them from being able to sell that boat and upgrade nicely.” I lifted the bottom of his T-shirt and started a new art project with my fingernail on his abs.
Sutton rolled toward me, breaking the contact. Moonlight shone through the little slits of windows, the reflection off the water making his expression waver as he frowned. “Is sex the only thing that’s going to help you tonight?”
I blinked at him. Was he seriously going to turn me down again? “Please tell me I’m reading that wrong. I don’t want to think about Adam or Lacey or Operation Ex-plosion. Is that wrong?”
He scrubbed at his face and raked a hand through his hair, mussing it until it stood at awkward angles. I’d never seen him look as completely exhausted as he did in that moment. “No. Of course it isn’t, but it feels damn close to using each other right now.”
Hello, knife, my gut thinks it’s very sucky to meet you.
There were a million things he could have been thinking to bring him to that. I wasn’t feeling any of them. “If I had a big interview tomorrow, didn’t want to think about it, and suggested sex, would you say the same thing?”
“This is different.”
Because it’s Lacey.
He didn’t need to say it—I heard it anyway. Was he with me because he wanted to be or because he wanted to rescue her from Adam? “Sutton… Tell me this, if the mess with Lacey hadn’t happened. I mean, if Adam had still dumped me, only for someone else—would we still be going to paintball and your parents’ boat?”
“Paintball, sure. That was about making you feel better, remember?” He brushed my hair off my face as he said it, the frown disappearing the instant he touched me. I wanted to press into his touch, savor it, only I couldn’t. Not how things were at this moment. I needed to know where I stood with him. “The lake? Probably not like this since we wouldn’t have been plotting to bring their relationship down.”
“Uh-huh. My point is, what would be going on between us? Obviously we’d still be working together, but what else?” When his only answer was to drop his hand from my hair and turn toward the window, panic over the plan bubbled to the surface. “Is this about us or about them, Sutton? Because I feel like what we were building is getting lost in this. I don’t know if you’re my friend, my boyfriend, or nothing more than a damn co-conspirator. Help me, because I need to get through tonight before I can handle tomorrow.”
His fingers laced in mine and he tugged me into a kiss that could have lit the sky on fire…if only I weren’t so stinking cold. I pushed away from it before his lips convinced me to forget my worries.
He refused to let go of me. “I’m the guy who wants to keep building with you. We need to deal with the elephant in the room first, though.”
“And if I can’t?”
“I told you before. We can call it off. You don’t have to be a part of breaking them up.”
Watching from the sidelines, I’d get to see him exact a little revenge for me, but I wouldn’t be involved. I’d be a stupid damsel in distress watching while the prince saved someone else. It’d be meaningless, and I’d be no better off.
If I could make it through the next twenty-four hours, I’d be able to handle it. “No. I want in. And if there’s a worry that sex is complicating things, we’ll stop. Either way I need you to hold me and get me through until we see them. Tell me more about Chicago or something.”
“Snuggling all night sounds perfect.” He tugged me closer, one hand cradling my ass.
This felt way too much like a precursor to sex, and I fought the urge to press against him. “Sex is off the table, isn’t it?”
“Talking about Chicago… I need to know I’m not that guy anymore. I care about you, Jem, and I want what we have between us to be much more than that.” For the longest time, we lay there—no words, no movement—and I wondered if being with me wasn’t dredging his past up too much. With everything else going on, it might’ve been more than he could handle.
Then he combed through my hair to cup the back of my neck, his fingers putting the slightest pressure on the spot guaranteed to bring me to my knees. “I was wrong. I need you, too. Nothing’s off the table.”
For a whole ten seconds—I counted—I tried to convince myself it was a line. But line or not, it was too good, too perfect, for me to resist. He didn’t need to pull me toward him—I went without hesitation and with only one goal in my head. One that had nothing to do with Lacey or Adam.
I wanted to lose myself in him and let the rest of the world crumble so we could build a new one together.
Chapter Twelve
-Sutton-
A sharp rapping made me jerk awake, and I remembered where we were—and how few clothes we had on. In the two seconds between waking up and the door opening, I managed to drag the blanket over Jenna and most of myself.
Dad walked in, his clothes looking like Mom had ironed them mere minutes ago—the creases as sharp as his tone. “Good morning, son. Your mother wanted me to inform you breakfast will be ready in ten minutes. Don’t forget to bring your guest.”
Crap. I should have driven us home last night. Before sex, after sex, it wouldn’t have mattered. “I’m sorry, sir. We weren’t—”
Jenna rolled over, nuzzling against my chest and muttered sleepily, “French toast sounds great.”
Whether he caught a glimpse or recognized her voice, Dad bristled and spoke loudly enough to wake her fully. “What you were or weren’t doing isn’t the subject at the moment, young man. Breakfast in ten minutes.” He shut the door behind him—didn’t slam it because that would have shown too much emotion.
This was not going to go well.
Jenna hadn’t moved an inch since she’d twitched at the snappiness in Dad’s speech. “Sounds like you’re in trouble.”
“Sounds like we both might be in trouble.”
“Your parents love me. They’re hard-asses and I’m glad I didn’t grow up in your house, but they love me anyway.” She rolled off the mattress and started rooting around on the floor for her clothes, the blanket doing very little to cover her perky, rounded ass. “Maybe that’ll help.”
Doubtful. “You seem in better spirits today.”
She paused, bent over, with her pants around her ankles, and peeked at me from around her legs. “Stop checking out my butt for a second.” When my eyes met hers, she actually managed a smile. I felt like I hadn’t seen a real one from her since last weekend. “I do feel better. Let’s get through this thing with your parents so we can get on track with me being stressed and unable to handle things. Calm and control are totally overrated.”
It’d be nice if we could get back to both feeling great about life for a little while. She yanked her pants up before I had a chance to check out her ass again. Damn. “Do you have a plan then?”
“Yep. It’s called eating.” She finished buttoning her shirt, bent down, and kissed me like we did this every morning. Familiar. Comfortable. Perfect. “Beyond that, we don’t really need one. We seem to work pretty well that way.”
“We can work other ways, too, you know.” I frowned as she tossed my clothes at me.
“Oh, I know. In case you forgot, I was here last night.” She winked and then turned to the mirror attached to the wall. No matter how hard she raked her fingers through her hair, there was no way she was undoing the tangles we’d put in it. Not without a brush. “This part might be a little embarrassing.”
“My dad caught us in the buff, on his boat, and you’re worried about your hair?”
“Hey. Your mom loves my hair. I’m trying to preserve what little air of…whatever that I have left.”
“Dignity?” I asked.
“Nah.”
“Propriety?” She snorted in response to that option. “Decency?”
She shrugged. “Decency works. Really, I was just trying to keep up the illusion that it naturally looks good. She doesn’t need to know what kind of hassle having this much hair is
.” Huffing a sigh, she grabbed it in a fist and twisted. “Hey, there are a couple pencils in my purse. Grab them?”
Two pencils later and we were walking up the path, sucking on mints she’d also had in her bag. I pushed open the door, and Mom rounded the corner, pulling up short when she caught sight of Jenna. “I—I—” She took two seconds to collect herself, wiping a hand on her apron. “If I’d known you were going to be here, I would have brought bacon.” She stepped toward the kitchen and touched her own hair. “How? How do you look this put-together after a night on the boat?”
As Mom led the way into the kitchen, Jenna patted her messy bun and mouthed, “Told you so.”
Breakfast was surreal. For the longest time, my parents didn’t bother mentioning the fact that they’d practically caught us boning on their boat. They were far too happy Jenna and I were together. Apparently, they’d thought we would make a perfect couple for years.
“I was a little worried we wouldn’t see you anymore,” Mom said, stabbing a bite with her fork. “Lacey mentioned the two of you were having a bit of a fight.”
Clearly, my dear sister hadn’t bothered to explain what it was about.
This time, Lacey’s betrayal of their friendship didn’t come up. Jenna bit her lip and sucked in a breath before saying, “We’re going to try to work through it. In fact, the four of us are going to dinner tonight to talk.” I squeezed her leg as encouragement, and she smiled softly enough I wasn’t sure anyone else would even see it. “If Sutton and I are going to make things work, I can’t exactly afford to have my relationship with Lacey on the skids.”
“I have to ask,” Dad finally said, leveling his gaze at me, “why were you two on the boat anyway? Sutton has a perfectly good place in the city.”
I pushed my chair from the table. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have. “With the fight and everything, I wanted to remind Jem of the good times, and we got carried away. We need to head back to town though if we want to get anything done before our date tonight.” I grabbed Jenna’s hand, holding it as she rose from the table. “Thanks for breakfast.”
They knew damn well why I’d come home, and why I needed my sanctuary. It wasn’t two months ago that Dad had given me the speech about detoxing from Chicago. Surely he didn’t see Jenna as just another girl to me. Bad enough they had to deal with Lacey and that asswipe Adam without thinking I’d fallen off the wagon in regard to women.
Mom stood and pulled Jenna in a hug I was sure would crush her ribs. “We’ve missed you, sweetheart. Take good care of him. He needs it.”
“I’m on it, Mrs. Bell.” Mom ushered her through the door, leaving me alone with Dad. Fantastic.
He stepped next to me, making it clear he had something else to say, which wasn’t exactly a surprise, given the situation. “Sutton, I can’t say I’m proud of how I found you this morning. It made me question why you bothered to leave Chicago.” Here it came. I was screwed. “I hope I’m not wrong in believing this is more than another fling for you. I trust you wouldn’t hurt Jenna or your sister like that.”
I was stunned there hadn’t been a lecture in there, and it took a minute for it to register that he was done talking. “No, sir.”
“Good.”
I made it out the door and had Jenna within a few yards of the car when Mom called, “I do hope the reconciliation plan means you’ll come to the barbecue next weekend.”
Right. The barbecue to celebrate Lacey’s engagement. How could I forget? “We’ll see how things go. We wouldn’t want it to be an uncomfortable day for anyone.”
She seemed to take my words at face value but, as I settled in behind the wheel, I turned to Jenna. The fire seemed to blow out of her as she sank against the seat. “How are you doing?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Which wasn’t nearly the same as her being fine now. I wanted to hold her in my arms again, but we had eight hours until we were supposed to meet up with the happy couple. Until we needed to be the happy couple.
I wished there was a way to chase the pain and the worries away—for both of us.
Chapter Thirteen
-Jenna-
Sutton had taken the scenic route home, which still left me with hours and hours before our date. I tried not to dwell on things, but my go-to home distraction—cooking with Mom—wasn’t an option. She was off on a “girls’ day out” with some of her friends. I was halfway through my shower when I remembered the one I’d wanted to take with Sutton—and his dad’s question about why he hadn’t taken me home.
All the stuff about Chicago had come without much prodding. He’d been totally honest about it, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow it stood between us. I didn’t think there was someone else, nor did I think he was going to drop me like a ton of bricks as soon as we got rid of Adam.
There was something holding him back, and I couldn’t convince myself anymore that it was his need to save Lacey.
By the time the doorbell rang at six, I had more or less worked past my misgivings about the night. I could do this. Whatever it took. And then I’d worry about figuring out what was going on with Sutton because, with Adam gone from my life for good, I’d be whole enough to deserve him.
I hoped.
I opened the door wearing something close to a smile. It felt real enough; I was counting on it looking like it was. Then I saw Sutton, and it faltered a little. Would he blame me if this went south? I was okay with him putting Lacey first temporarily, but what if it wound up being long-term? Could I deal then?
“Hey,” he said, bracing the screen door open. “You ready?”
“Can someone actually be ready to enter their own personal hell?” I grabbed a cropped leather jacket and pulled the door shut behind me. Sutton’s expression wavered when I turned back to him. “Kidding. I just needed a coat. If this works and Adam tries to hit on me, hell will have indeed frozen over. I wanted to be ready for the chill.”
Sutton held the jacket, and I slid my arms inside. “Sorry. I guess I’m as nervous about this as you are,” he said, and I arched an eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe not as nervous.”
“Ya think?” I laughed and it felt way more real than my smile had. Time to get the party started. “Let’s do this.”
We didn’t talk a lot on the drive, but we didn’t have to. The plan was as solid as it could be, and at this point, poking at it would make one or both of us more stressed. As it was, I still wasn’t sure if Sutton and me as a couple would be enough to make Adam have a jealous freak-out, especially in front of Lacey. I hoped I was worried over nothing.
“What’s on your mind over there?” Sutton turned onto Woodward. I’d totally missed half the drive.
“Just thinking about everything.”
“You better stop thinking,” he said, pulling into a parking spot. “We’re here.”
I blew out a breath and nodded, waiting for him to do his normal door-opening routine. Then he continued the perfect gentleman thing, taking my arm and walking me toward the restaurant. I stopped him at the door. This wasn’t us. “No dice.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s me. I’m not some stranger you can pass off however you want. Lacey and Adam both know me. She knows how you and I are with each other.” Maybe we hadn’t thought this through as thoroughly as I’d imagined. “We can’t act through tonight. We need to be us.”
“Fine, you little pain in the ass. Get inside.”
Better. “I think you have us backward if we’re talking about pains in the ass and getting inside…”
Snorting a laugh, Sutton held the door for me. “We’ll discuss that later.”
My behind clenched at the thought, and I couldn’t help wondering if he’d be serious under different circumstances. Damn it. I couldn’t afford to second-guess everything. Fortunately, focusing on the moment was easy enough.
The place was Tex-Mex on speed. Neon lights in the shape of cacti glowed on the walls next to signs advertising Corona and a list of
margarita specials. If someone showed up in a sombrero to sing “Happy Birthday” before the night ended, I’d screw Sutton in his car just because.
No. Scratch that. There would be no screwing in the car. Bad Jenna, no cookie. However, if he finally decided to take me to his place…
“Hey.”
Sutton’s voice yanked me from my musings, and my blood turned to sludge as Adam and Lacey stood up from their table. While she was busy hugging her brother, he was busy staring me down. His eyes had that glint to them only dark eyes could manage, and all I wanted to do was bolt out the door.
Then Lacey was in front of me, blocking him from view. “Jenna, thank you so much for coming. You have no idea how much this means to me. I’ve missed you.” She started to open her arms like she was going to hug me, then let them fall to her sides, obviously realizing it was too soon. Much too soon, with how I was feeling.
“Hi, Lace.” I managed a smile, barely. “Adam.”
“Nice to see you, Jenna. You look good.”
God, having him talk to me was enough to make me vomit. Then Sutton twined his fingers in mine, and I was grounded again. The plan. We could do this. I could do this. “You look engaged.” I let the words stand between us for a while before I turned my focus to Lacey. “The ring is beautiful. Congrats.”
It was gorgeous, too. Rose gold, Lacey’s favorite, with diamonds encrusted in the twisting band as well as around the central diamond. It was bigger than Mom’s, which meant somewhere above a half carat, and it sparkled like mad. I wasn’t jealous, though. Not when it came with Adam as part of the package.
Sutton must have noticed me fading because he squeezed my fingers and said, “I’m famished. How about some food?”
Even with Sutton next to me at the table and Lacey across, I could still feel Adam watching me, and I was quiet through most of the small talk. Once the food came, I had an excuse for not chatting, but I needed to get Adam’s attention—seem happy somehow. The plan was dying and I could barely open my mouth to stop it.
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