What inane platitude would he come up with? Some people assumed self-harm was just a plea for attention. Yeah, so that would be why she’d managed so successfully to hide what she was doing from her foster parents, teachers, social workers and the odd psychiatrist or two then.
It was the only way I knew how to cope.
Instead Nate did the only right thing. He kissed her, deep and soft, stirring her deeply, making her want to bury her head into his chest and howl.
His tongue probed gently into her mouth and she found her jaw automatically unclenching as hot tears scalded her eyes. Somehow his kiss transcended the fierce pain and disarmed her. The horror of the memories receded a little, life affirming desire surging through her again as the hand not holding her wrist gently stroked her bare back.
Then he raised her wrist to his mouth and tenderly kissed the scars, trailing the kisses up her arm, over every tiny faded white line. That undid her. Tears finally burst the banks of her eyelids, flooding her cheeks. She ignored them, scarcely able to breath, totally unable to think.
When he pulled his lips away and looked up at her Tash steeled herself for a platitude again.
“You never did tell me what turns you on but I think I can guess.”
“Oh?” Tash half laughed, half sobbed, relief surging through her that he wasn’t going to torture her any more tonight.
“Yes.” Nate trailed a finger along her breastbone. “You pretend you like to be in control but I think it turns you on when I tell you what to do. Although I bet you’d die sooner than admit it.”
So maybe he is going to torture me a little.
But in a nice way, maybe…
“Hmm, there may be the teensiest bit of truth in that,” Tash said, sniffing. A night of cutting her nose off to spite her face or a night of being turned on by Nate?
No contest.
“Shall we find out?” Nate grinned crookedly, his finger lightly tracing the outline of her breast, fleetingly grazing her budding nipple.
“Try your worst.” Tash tried to inject cool into her tone but the words came out squeakily. “Or should that be your best?”
“I am rather good at telling people what to do.” Nate raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I’m sure you get a lot of practice.” Tash rolled her eyes at his smug tone but was forced to admit he was probably telling the truth. “So, what turns you on then?”
“Giving you pleasure is what turns me on.” Nate maintained eye contact for a few seconds. “There’s nothing sexier than watching a woman come.”
Tash thought she might actually melt there and then on the expensive Egyptian cotton sheets. Nate rolled her over before slipping from the bed and walking over to the window. He came back with the expensive looking rope tiebacks.
“I’m also good at improvising,” he added.
Tash’s stomach performed its now familiar acrobatic routine. It was just as well she hadn’t been able to eat much earlier.
She’d been tied up before and hadn’t thought it was really her thing. With Nate though, the thrill of what he might do to her sent a sharp shiver of pure lust through her body. He bound her wrists to the headboard, the knots firm but not painful.
If he’s trying to distract me it’s working.
Then he disappeared to the bathroom, coming back with a small bottle of massage oil and a small white hand towel.
“They really do think of everything, don’t they?” Tash murmured, shifting position on the bed, every nerve in her body electrified.
“Not quite, I couldn’t find a blindfold so you’re going to have to be a good girl and leave this towel over your eyes.” He placed the towel on her face, it smelt clean, of washing detergent, and the cotton felt soft against her skin.
Tash hadn’t appreciated how much not seeing would heighten the sensation of Nate’s touch but when it eventually came her body practically convulsed beneath his firm fingers. He slowly peeled her stockings down her legs and then massaged oil into her calves and thighs, his hands sliding expertly over every inch of her skin.
His touch affirmed her, pushing back the tide of hurt. When he massaged up between her legs she gasped but he passed round and up onto her hipbone without touching her where she really wanted him to.
He knows how to tease.
Then he massaged her arms, her breastbone and eventually her breasts, rubbing his palms over her now erect nipples.
She wriggled, moaning as anticipation fizzed through her body but still he didn’t relieve the pent up pressure throbbing between her legs.
Then suddenly his touch was gone.
“Hey, come back,” she grumbled.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Nate promised.
In alarm Tash tipped her head back in an attempt to dislodge the towel from her eyes. Peeking out from the bottom of the towel she could just make out Nate wearing a white hotel robe, walking towards the door.
“You’re leaving me here?” Tash asked with disbelief, nibbling at her lower lip as scenarios flashed through her head. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d got herself into a dodgy situation but she’d learnt to trust her instincts and she really hadn’t felt that vibe from Nate.
Is he going to leave me here to be found by hotel staff? How well do I know him, really?
Yet, even though the answer to the last question should have been ‘not at all’ it felt like she did know him, could trust him. He might be a lot of things but she didn’t think he was cruel. But trusting someone she barely knew? It went against all her usual defences.
I’m an idiot, I should know better than to be taken in by raging hormones and a bit of sexual chemistry. Okay, a whole lot of sexual chemistry.
As Nate’s clothes were still in the room it seemed unlikely he’d legged it but the anxiety didn’t leave her until a soft click indicated Nate had entered the room. A familiar clink of ice against metal made her wonder if he’d got champagne. Or…
“What exactly are you planning to do with that ice?” she asked, her tone suspicious. Yet secretly she was really, really turned on by the effort he was going to.
“You’ll see, or rather you’ll feel. No peeking.” Nate tugged the towel back down over her eyes.
Tash lay, waiting, every nerve tingling with anticipation. When Nate’s warm lips enclosed her left nipple without warning she shuddered, then shrieked when his mouth was replaced with an ice cube. Her nipple, hard as a pebble, throbbed a protest before her right nipple received the same treatment.
“You sod, that’s freezing,” she complained, kicking out at him with her bare foot.
“Trust me.” He laughed, grabbing her ankle and holding her leg out to the side while he fleetingly trailed the ice cube down to her stomach and towards the heavy ache throbbing between her thighs.
She gasped, her body simultaneously tensing at the cold, melting beneath the hot tongue teasing her nipple and the sensation of warm, firm flesh pressed hard up against her. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh and it distracted her from the ice cube’s path down across her abdomen.
Then Nate lay half on top of her, trailing kisses up her neck. His lips found her mouth beneath the edge of the towel, smothering her gasp when he thrust another ice cube up inside her, holding it there for a second while his tongue thrust into her mouth. In a split second he’d removed the ice cube and was using it to slowly circle her clit.
Tash groaned and shrieked up into Nate’s kiss, squirming beneath his fingers and the weight of his body, hating and loving it all at the same time.
As the ice melted against her hot, slick flesh, water trickled down between her legs onto the sheets. Tash cried out and squirmed, every muscle contracting, arching towards Nate. She longed to have her hands free, to caress his erection until he couldn’t hold back any longer and had to thrust inside her. She wanted to dig her nails into the firm flesh of his buttocks, moving her hips to make him pump faster and harder and…
Oh…my…God…
Nate
had crawled back down her body and when the ice cube was replaced by his hot lips sucking at her clit Tash screamed, limbs jerking as she came, wave upon wave of delicious pleasure racking her body as he teased her relentlessly. But even before the orgasm had subsided she knew it wasn’t enough, she wanted Nate inside her.
“Fuck me. Please. Now,” Tash half babbled, half groaned, not caring that she was begging. “You are driving me insane.”
“Sure,” Nate laughed again but his breathing sounded laboured, as though holding back had been a struggle.
Good.
“Trust me, it’ll be my pleasure,” he added, grasping both her ankles and parting her legs wide on the bed, shifting his weight so he lay between her legs. The tip of his erection brushed against her, making her still sensitive clit quiver.
A familiar crackle of a foil packet reassured her, although it hadn’t exactly been at the front of her mind. More evidence she must be slightly out of her mind at the moment.
I’m lying naked, bound to a bed at the W with Nate Campbell between my legs while Rebecca takes the others on a tour of the spa… fricking hell, would she say if she knew?
“Oh!” she gasped as he thrust inside her. She’d been expecting it but he still took her by surprise. Not being able to see made the heightened sensations even more delicious.
She arched her back and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him deeper into her, heels digging hard into his buttocks. He filled her up and she revelled in the delicious friction. She felt exhilarated, surging on natural endorphins, the best natural high she’d ever known.
Scrub that, it’s the best high I’ve ever known, chemical or natural.
“How do you want it?” Nate’s breath was hot against Tash’s neck, his evening stubble lightly grazing her skin.
“Hard,” she whispered hoarsely, anticipation coiling tightly inside her, her muscles contracting around his erection. She sighed with pleasure at Nate’s sharp intake of breath.
He thrust hard into her, each stroke jolting the bed so Tash’s wrists jerked against the curtain ties. Her back arched towards him, hips responding instinctively.
“Harder,” she gasped, feeling the familiar warm tide of another orgasm building inside her.
She needed this release, needed him to blot out all the savage emotion he’d awoken in her. Needed to be suffused with pure, life-affirming pleasure.
He pushed both her knees up onto her chest and thrust again, the angle even deeper than before. It felt like he were piercing her, like the orgasm building might rip her body in two.
“I need to see you,” Tash groaned. “Let me see you fucking me.”
Nate pushed the towel away with an impatient hand and Tash stared into his dark eyes, blinking hard, glad he’d left the lights on so she could see every straining muscle, watch the beads of perspiration sliding between their bodies.
“I’m close,” she whispered.
Wordlessly he raised himself up slightly on one arm while slipping his other hand in between their bodies. He caressed her clit tenderly, the lightness of his touch a direct contrast to the force of his previous thrusts. Tash contracted hard around him, her body shuddering as she climaxed. Nate withdrew his hand and thrust into her as waves of pleasure racked her body. He came quickly, crying out her name as he stiffened and jerked inside her. Then he collapsed on top of her, his chest still heaving. He was heavy but she liked the reassuring bulk of his body covering hers.
“Christ, that was good.” He sighed contentedly and withdrew, rolling down onto the bed next to her and disposing with the condom in a tissue with practiced ease.
Disposable. Like me?
“It was,” Tash replied, suddenly feeling tired. “But…my wrists are hurting a bit, could you untie me?”
Post sex she felt vulnerable, the urge to escape pounding in her head now that her hormones had subsided.
“Of course,” Nate untied her. “So, I was right then? You liked it?”
“Erm, yes, even the ice cubes but…”
“But what?” Nate raised an eyebrow.
“The bed’s a bit of a mess,” she blurted. “What on earth are the housekeeping staff going to think?”
“Who cares?” Nate shrugged, unbothered. “It’ll be okay.”
But then he’d never cleaned rooms before had he? The staff who worked in housekeeping were faceless, unimportant. Like chalet girls?
Like me?
It occurred to Tash he’d done this routine before, with other girls. Well, probably not the kissing the scars bit, but…who knew? What if that had just been part of breaking down her defences? Maybe he didn’t want to know because he cared but because he was the kind of man who liked to have all the facts.
She resisted the thought that it’d be nice to have Nate for more than just one night. Usually sex got the first flush of a crush out of her system.
Not this time.
If anything it had intensified whatever this thing was she was feeling.
That’s because this isn’t just a crush.
She smothered the thought, it couldn’t be more; more would leave her vulnerable, to hurt, rejection, abandonment…
But she wanted him more than ever. How could she go back to casual hook ups with sexy ski instructors? They seemed like boys compared to Nate. She’d been given a flukey upgrade.
You know what they say, it’s hard to downgrade again, once you’ve experienced the best.
Tash rolled over and spoke quietly into Nate’s shoulder. “Thanks for this evening Nate, it’s been fun.”
Had she hit the right tone of non-committal approval? She waited, but the only response from Nate was a loud snore.
So, he wasn’t perfect after all, he snored.
Of course he snores, he’s just a man. A man every bit as likely to let you down as any other, if not more so.
She had to remember she was just a temporary bit of fun. Chalet girl sex on tap. Good sex, but just sex. She ignored the surge of emotion in her chest that said there was something more than that here. He’d been the first lover to question her about her scars. There was that funny sense of connection too, whenever their eyes met.
It means nothing. You mean nothing to him. How could you ever imagine someone like you would?
Wordlessly, silently she slipped from the bed and scooped up her clothes.
Time to make an exit.
Chapter 5
Nate stared down at the cursor blinking in the open Word document on his laptop.
The blank Word document.
He had an outline, there’d been input from his editor at the publishers after all and he knew what he wanted to say. Just not how he was going to say it.
He seemed strangely unable to think, his mind full of images from the night before - Tash in the full throws of orgasm, Tash moaning into his mouth as he kissed and finger-fucked her at the same time, Tash blinking back tears as her brittle shell cracked open in his hands…
The scars had taken him by surprise. Maybe he wouldn’t have recognised them for what they were if it weren’t for the charities he was involved in.
It complicated things.
Nate sighed and flicked back to the email from his editor.
Come on, concentrate. This is exactly why you shouldn’t have got involved.
He’d barely scanned two lines before he found himself staring at the wall in his guest room. He’d asked for a table and chair to be moved in here. Focusing was hard enough with Tash in his head, let alone right in front of him.
Why did she run out on me?
The obvious explanation was that she hadn’t wanted to arrive back at the chalet at the same time as him, but a niggling voice said she’d actively run away from him.
A shag-and-run.
The fact he hadn’t been able to get her alone since bothered him.
The other two girls had been serving breakfast. Tash hadn’t made an appearance. Madeleine had maintained an air of quiet disapproval, knowing better than to voice her opinio
ns. He’d already made it perfectly clear to her that his private life was entirely his business.
Women were so skilled at letting you know what they thought without opening their mouths though and those pursed lips were getting on his nerves. Any more attitude from her and he was going to have to have a word.
A knock at his door jolted him from his thoughts.
“Come in,” he snapped, irritated by yet another distraction from the task at hand.
“Everything okay Nate?” Madeleine entered the room, dressed in her formal trouser suit. He wondered if she even owned a pair of jeans.
“Fine,” he replied curtly.
“I wondered if you needed me to…have a word with the chalet girl, Natasha?” She slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. “It could get…awkward if she develops unrealistic expectations. I could handle that for you, make it easier?”
Madeleine nervously tucked a short curl behind her ear.
“You thought what?” He growled, narrowing his eyes at her. “Madeleine, have I ever given you cause to think I need your help in this area?”
“Well, I have sometimes had to fend off calls from certain women,” she retorted. “It often becomes my business.”
Nate ground his teeth. “Well I don’t need your help now, thank you.”
His words had been spoken with such a strong undercurrent of sarcasm she’d have to be stupid not to notice. And whatever Madeleine was, she wasn’t stupid.
“Okay,” she replied tightly, cheeks flushed a rosy pink. “Well if you change your mind just let me know. Can I get you some coffee?”
“Yes,” Nate replied, jaw tight. “Thank you.”
When she’d left the room he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. So what if Madeleine didn’t approve? Madeleine was a snob, he knew that much about her. He loathed this emerging class structure, this new upper class formed from an unholy trinity of privilege created by birth, privilege bought by wealth and privilege bestowed by fame. It was everything he was fighting against. It was the whole point of the In the Lion’s Den programme and his mentor scheme.
It seemed the more successful he became, the more he was surrounded by people who cared about the distinctions. It was a far cry from the type of crowd he’d grown up with.
Rebellion of a Chalet Girl: (A Novella) (Ski Season, Book 5) Page 6