Jonah would be gone. He was level 36. That meant if he died, his curse would force him to withstand 36 straight hours of torture. He’d already told us he wouldn’t be able to survive that. Not 36 hours, not 36 minutes, not 36 seconds. If he died, he would auto eject to the sanitarium, using the escape loophole. That meant an eternity of staring at a loading screen, unable to move or get out or sleep or even close his eyes. Thousands of years. I shuddered at the thought.
I took a deep breath. I couldn’t let that happen. There was one last thing I could do for him.
“Nale,” I said, jumping off the table. “Take your mage friend and get to King Jonah. Execute the plan. Do it now. Tell me when you’re close.”
Nale nodded as I pulled myself up onto Alice. “Come on, Alice. We got a date with a dragon.”
Jonah Note 18
I rushed toward the fast-moving wyrm, angling to cut it off. It would soon crash through the Menagerie. After it emerged, I’d try to jump on its back again. While Triple Fang was one of the best weapons in the game, it wasn’t a piercing weapon, and it would be useless here. I clutched onto a simple spear I’d taken from a fallen defender at the last barracks. I would use all of my strength to jab the weapon into the soft spot.
My skill level with the weapon was six.
The Menagerie was a great obstacle for slowing the approach of a large group of monsters, but it was practically useless against a single creature. It activated once a monster was already at the far end of the covered walkway, meaning the first creature through could usually exit out the other side before the beasts attacked.
The trap required Chauncey, the master of obstacles, to properly reset. He’d press a button or cast a spell or something, and the loose creatures would be automagically sucked back into their cells. The dead from the Menagerie did not regenerate.
But Chauncey was dead, having blown up like a can of beets in the microwave. That meant the creatures would, what? Roam free at the end of the wave? I didn’t know. Maybe Oliver the Beastmaster would be able to do something. I didn’t know.
We currently had multiple tormented dwarves, a few moles, some pazuzu, several of those lightning and fire peludas, that weird walrus thing with the bigger-on-the-inside stomach, and a cage completely full of pong flies. Bingo and company had also captured a pair of full-blooded ogres for the very first cage, who would’ve been perfect for creating a stopgap at the tight entrance to the Menagerie.
All that work for nothing. What a damn waste.
I approached a level one arrow tower, one of the last towers in the spiral, flanking the short stretch to the final bridge that led to the island and Fort Bloodgasm. The sun had started to rise on the city, and an orange glow filled the world. These towers were the shortest of them all, and they had open tops. I would leap off the top of the tower with my spear, hopefully driving it home when I landed on the monster’s back.
It was a dumb idea. It was the only idea I had left.
“King Jonah,” a voice cried as I approached. I turned to see two NPCs and a bear trotting up. It was Nale, Bruce Bruce, and another NPC I didn’t recognize, an auric mage of some sort.
I paused, surprised at the sight of Bruce Bruce, who never left the castle without Gretchen. He walked a few steps behind the other two, his head down.
“What’s happening? What do you need?” I asked, looking over my shoulder. I couldn’t see the location of the dragon, but it had to be approaching the Menagerie now. Lance after ineffectual lance streaked through the sky from the Sentinel Tower, giving me a bearing on the dragon’s location. It would be on us in a couple minutes. Starr screamed constant obscenities into the chat.
The auric mage appeared to be chanting, casting a spell. What was happening?
Nale: Popper. We have located King Jonah. We are here at the final approach to the castle.
Poppy: Are you standing on or off the spiral path?
Nale: We are just off the path.
Poppy: Jonah. I’m sorry. Alice and I are going to try this thing. It’s probably not going to work. But I gotta do this now before I die because by the time I regenerate, it will be too late.
His Royal Majesty Jonah: Do what? What the hell is going on?
You have been honorably discharged from your service.
Warning! You will not be able to rejoin the war effort for 24 hours upon discharge. You must leave the country of Libri for at least 12 hours before you may rejoin the war effort.
Thank you for your service. You have been awarded a medal!
Achievement unlocked! Receive a war service medal.
Warning! You have entered a zone of active war.
A portal appeared. It crackled with electricity, forming just a few feet behind me.
“It worked,” Nale said, looking at the auric, who’d just cast the spell. He sounded excited, and he spoke quickly, like a child who’d just discovered something momentous. I stared at the portal, dumbfounded as Nale started babbling about protection walls and movement spells and his theories about travel.
His Royal Majesty Jonah: You little motherfucking cocksucker. You expect me to just go through it? Fuck you, Popper. This isn’t your decision to make. Gretchen, were you in on this bullshit, too?
Gretchen: What’s happening? What’s going on?
Poppy: It was just me, kid. And I don’t give a shit if you approve or not.
“…wasn’t certain we’d be able to cast a Portal spell within the city limits,” Nale was saying. “Definitely not on the spiral path, but there’s some residual protection within the city, especially so close to the spiral wall. It’s similar to the vortex traps. Those only work because they’re one-way. It looks like this is also one-way. It’s to Harmony, by the way. Regent Popper wanted it to go to the moon auric capital of Kosil, but we’d talked him out of it because the Harmony portals are inherently more powerful due to the nexus of the …”
I never got to hear the rest. Bruce Bruce charged, bowling me over as we both flew into the open portal.
Popper Note 22
Gretchen: Popper… I don’t disagree with what you just did. But we’re a team. We need to discuss this sort of thing ahead of time.
Poppy: No time Gretchen. Yell at me after I regenerate.
The dragon approached the Menagerie. I had maybe thirty seconds.
One of the moves I’d been practicing with Alice was something we called a “Buck Jump.” I didn’t have the proper dexterity required for this to be awesome, but it would be enough to get me onto its back. Hopefully. The move basically required me to crawl to Alice’s backside and to jump just as she threw herself into a forward roll. I’d catapult headlong off her back, flying high into the air.
Normally I’d use my Feather Fall to keep myself from splattering the landing. Today I would aim for the mane and hope I didn’t just sail right past. I slung Battlefield Surgeon over my back and pulled Dolly Trauma.
Nale said that Bruce Bruce had followed them out there, and they hadn’t been able to shoo him away. At the last moment, he’d tackled Jonah, and they’d both gone through the portal together. Gretchen and Jonah could both swear at me, yell at me, or even hate me. I didn’t care. It was the right thing to do.
“If I die,” I yelled down to Alice, who grunted with the effort of her full gallop, “go somewhere in the city and hide until we can get back together. Do not come out of hiding unless I say something. Do not go back to the castle and do not sleep unless you absolutely have to.”
The way pet regen spots worked was similar to player regen, and she’d appear where she last slept if she died. She’d been with me when we’d reset earlier in the small shack outside the city. It’d almost be better if she died, too. Almost. I couldn’t bring myself to just let her die. It’d only happened once so far, and she’d had a really tough time with it. Sometimes she murmured in her sleep about chinchillas and exterminating them all.
“If you die, I will kill you myself,” Alice grunted as we approached the dragon.
> The monster was huge, a long worm of a creature, not quite like a real dragon. More like a sea serpent that could fly. It had the head of a giant Wuj, a weird hive-mind creature that featured prominently in a lot of game events. There were thousands of the Wuj creatures, but they were all of one mind. Most of them were game guides, masters of mind guilds where noobs would go to learn how to control the menus. People called them floating dragon heads, but Juliette had once told me that they were really modeled after a Chinese lion dance parade costume. She was always smart with that stuff.
The monster hadn’t yet reached the Menagerie, having been slowed down by a line of freeze towers. The lone Muzzle tower that stood between it and the Menagerie entrance began to pelt the dragon.
We approached the shimmering blue wall that indicated the edge of the spiral. I yelled into the chat for everyone to cease fire, and I lifted myself up on Alice’s back, crouching low and praying I wouldn’t lose my balance. We’d practiced this dozens of times, but never at this speed. The massive head gave us no heed as we approached from the side.
“Okay Alice,” I cried. “Buck jump in three, two, one, now!”
I leaped into the air as she rolled forward. I felt myself flying, and I had to resist the urge to panic-jab the Feather Fall notification.
I smashed into the bushy mane, which had the consistency of charred hemp rope. I grasped a strand with my left hand as I crashed to a stop atop the creature, just a few feet from where Jonah had peeled away the scales. The rope snapped away in my hand, and I grasped a second one, pulling myself up. It smelled of burned flesh up here, and the mane was hot to the touch, like it’d just been pulled from the fire.
Alice galloped alongside the dragon, smashing her head into the side. At any moment, the freeze debuff would wear off, and the dragon would speed back up. I pulled myself forward, jumping at the bare spot, plunging Dolly Trauma into the wound.
I stabbed and I stabbed, over and over again, waiting, praying for the notification. Each stab had a 1.5 percent chance of activating. One of these had to do…
Transfiguration triggered!
This spell is ineffective against this enemy.
“Fuck,” I cried. Boss monsters were often immune to spells like that. I slipped Dolly Trauma back into my dress and pulled Battlefield Surgeon. I started to hack at the bloody mess of the dragon’s back. It roared and twisted.
Blood splashed against me, burning. This is a demon. Not a dragon. A demon. Demon blood was caustic. It burned like acid. I quickly downed a healing potion and my last barkskin potion. Barkskin didn’t fully protect against caustic blood, but it made it 75% less effective.
I realized, belatedly, that we were now inside the long row of cages of the Menagerie. The glass ceiling of the obstacle was a mere ten feet above me. All around me, beasts threw themselves at the walls of their magical cages. The closeness of the cages kept the dragon from turning on its side, dislodging me. The dragon had stopped dead, enraged at my efforts to attack it. If it moved just a few feet forward, it would trigger the trap.
Why wasn’t the dragon moving? I hacked and hacked with my axe, screaming. I became aware of the glowing red button in the corner of my vision, getting bigger and bigger. I would go berserk at any moment.
It’s the Muddy effect, I realized. The spell from my axe appeared to be stackable. It slowed the monster down by 25% each time. I’d frozen it in place for a good minute.
Disheartening triggered!
This spell is ineffective against this enemy.
I didn’t care anymore. I had a new plan. I’d already dug myself waist-deep into the gore of the dragon. My dress sizzled, and my legs tingled with pain. With the barkskin protection it felt as if I was standing within a really hot bathtub. I popped open my spell menu and prepared to hit Self-Destruct. I had to do it now before I went berserk.
“No, little warrior,” a voice boomed from behind me. I felt myself lift into the air.
I twisted, screaming and swinging my axe before realizing I was being held in the firm grip of a gorcupine. He’d somehow climbed up onto the back of the dragon also.
“Bingo,” I cried. “Let me go!” The berserk notification continued to grow. It would auto-trigger at any moment.
“I have failed my people, my clan,” Bingo said. He shook me like a rag, flinging the caustic blood off my legs. “They are all dead except for me. All dead because I was not strong enough to keep them alive. In the arena, it is easy to survive when you are strong. You see, you kill. Here in this real world, the dangers are sometimes surprising and hidden. I did not see this umbrella demon. I did not know this small woman could turn into such a beast. This is my failure. I shall finish this, not you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I cried as he gently placed me down behind him. I stood on the trembling back of the dragon in the midst of the rope-like mane. My berserk seemed to abate. My dress fell apart. I stood barefoot on the back of the dragon, everything having burned away.
He raised his hands. “Do you not see where we are? We are in the Menagerie. This is where I was born, little warrior. I know my memories tell me I was born somewhere else, in a country called Rutogbe. My memories are lies. I know that now. This is where I was truly born. It is an honor to die here as well.”
With that, he flared out his quills and dove head-first into the small pool of gore at the back of the dragon’s neck. He pulled and bit and yanked, going deeper and deeper into the beast, who cried out and shuddered with pain. Bingo’s body sizzled as he disappeared, digging fast like a mole into the dirt.
I scrambled back, astonished. I held on for dear life as the dragon started to thrash. I felt my body glow, and I looked down to see Alice looking up at me. She’d squeezed herself between the cages and the dragon. She’d cast Heal on me, a skill she’d learned when we hit level 20.
The dragon shuddered a few more times, and then it collapsed to the ground.
NPC Bingo (Level 54, Berserker, Gorcupine) has died!
Experience earned! Experience earned!
You have gained a level!
You have received a training token.
You have gained a level!
You have received a training token.
You are now level 29. Your pet is now level 29.
Wave 4 of 5 complete.
You have received a reward! 25,000 jacks have been added to your account. You have received three training tokens!
You have received a bonus reward! You may choose a class-based spell for free. You may choose this spell at any Barbarian Guild.
War Party> Spiral systems deactivating.
War Party> Spiral systems are now offline, and it is safe to traverse the spiral path. Chamber imps have been dispatched to reset the traps and clear corpses.
War Party Admin> Warning! You have traps that need to be reloaded.
War Party Admin> Warning! You have barracks that have been destroyed and need to be repaired.
War Party Admin> Warning! Your city does not have a Master of Obstacles!
I climbed down off the dead dragon and plopped onto Alice’s back.
“You’re naked,” Alice said. “And you banished King Jonah for nothing.”
“It had to be done,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if that was true or not. I wasn’t going to let myself feel bad about it. That asshole was going to get himself killed, and I had to protect him. “I got a couple backup dresses in my pack. Take us back to Fort Bloodgasm.”
Alice sighed. “We both got assist experience for killing the dragon. I’m going to miss Bingo. I really liked that guy.”
I nodded. I felt as if I’d been run over by a truck. “Me too, Alice. Me too.”
Jonah Note 19
Entering Harmony
Warning! Your city is under siege!
Page after neverending page of notifications scrolled by as I hit the ground, shaking my head. All the notifications I couldn’t receive while I was stuck in the country of Libri appeared, one after ano
ther, including all the city and Dominion and war event notifications. Multiple panicked communications from Larus and Larissa scrolled by. The scrolling stopped, but my screen filled with persistent notifications that I had to individually click away. There appeared to be over 50 pages of them.
The glowing portal clicked away as I got to my feet.
I rapidly clicked through them, my mind reeling at everything that had just happened and everything that had been happening here in Harmony. As I read the notifications and messages, one after another, my horror started to rise.
We stood in the abandoned main obelisk park of Harmony, a massive pavilion a couple miles southeast of Castle Harmony, in the place called Cal Anderson park in the real world. Nobody appeared to be outside.
In the distance, both east and west of the city, explosions rocked the night. We’d gone from early dawn to darkness. My heart lurched when I saw the time. We’d gone from 6:53 A.M. to 9:53 P.M.
Popper, you asshole. You couldn’t wait six minutes to backstab me? Since I’d jumped back in time, I didn’t know if my curse would trigger or not. I suspected it would, because that’s what this damn game liked to do. It liked to fuck you over in every possible way.
Bruce Bruce the bear looked at me sheepishly. He cringed as another explosion filled the night.
“Please do not be upset, King Jonah,” the bear said. “I was scared of the fighting, and I wanted to go home. Popper wanted you to be safe. He did not know I was going to come through the portal with you. I am sorry I tackled you. Nale was going to cast a spell to push you, but I wanted to go home too.” He looked off into the distance. “I did not know there would be big booms here, too. I do not like them. I hope my friends are okay.”
The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure Page 39