by Angel Smits
“Okay.” She shrugged and turned to lean against the counter as she dried her hands. She wasn’t about to get any closer to him then she had to. She wished he wasn’t here, but short of throwing him out, she couldn’t avoid him. “I didn’t sleep well at all. Does that satisfy you?”
“No. I’m sorry I got you involved in this.”
“Sorry? Why?”
“She’s in your head now.” He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand in a gesture of exhaustion.
“You said that last night. What exactly do you mean by that?”
“In your head.” He pointed to his own temple, stabbing at it with an angry finger. “She’s already manipulating your thoughts. Soon you’ll be sure you’re going crazy. If the dreams don’t do you in, the lack of sleep will.”
Clarissa didn’t miss the dejected slump of his shoulders. He looked as if he’d been through a war. And lost. “I did have a dream last night that was frightening. But it was just a dream.” Who was she really trying to convince? Him or herself?
“Are you sure?”
“Y . . . yes. It has to be.” She was trying to convince herself.
“Tell me about it.”
“No!” There was no way she was going to tell him about the intimacy of the lovemaking she’d experienced, even if it was with him. Sort of. Heat scattered throughout her body, and she could feel his hands and lips moving over her skin again. Suddenly, the dream was all too real.
He set his coffee cup down with deliberate care and stepped closer to her. “Then let me tell you.” He placed an arm on each side or her, trapping her between the counter and his body.
Leaning on his palms, he moved even closer but didn’t touch her. His dark eyes grew cold and empty as they stared into hers. “We made love. Hot, passionate love . . . didn’t we?” he whispered. She felt his body heat reach out and engulf her. “She knows I want you, knows how much. So she put you in my arms, then ripped you away.”
Nine
DAVID’S VOICE BROKE, and he turned his back to her and stalked away. “I haven’t been with a woman since long before Rachel died.” He looked over his shoulder at her. “You’re the first one I’ve wanted.”
Clarissa felt the pain emanating from him. She knew it took so much for him to admit this to himself, let alone to her. He wanted her. A warm rush slid through her. He wanted to make love to her. A smile tugged at her lips, but it quickly faded away.
The only way he could know about her dream . . . was if he’d dreamed it, too. Every move, every touch returned. Her cheeks burned with the memory. Suddenly hot, Clarissa reached out and snagged the counter chair. She had to sit down. This was entirely too overwhelming.
He’d shared her dream. In a warped sort of way, they had made love. Hadn’t they? She remembered every sordid detail, felt every sweet, warm kiss he’d given her. The heat of longing coursed through her, and her heart raced. Dear God, she still wanted him.
She didn’t dare look at him. If she did, he might see the hot longing in her eyes. She wasn’t sure she could resist him, and right now he was the last thing she needed.
David’s silence set her on edge, and she knew she had to turn and face him. With a deep fortifying breath, she turned and faced him again. He’d been running his fingers through his hair. She could see the tracks he’d left. His actions had also loosened the groomed locks, and his hair hung about his shoulders, just like in last night’s dream.
She gasped, surprised and intrigued by the wild passion she saw in his eyes. There was no way she could ignore the longing that reached out to her, pulling her into his web of desire. She was trapped and though she fought it, she knew it was inevitable. The dream had been real in some twisted way, and it would be again.
“No!” David roared loudly and angrily, startling Clarissa. In the distance she heard silverware clatter to the floor. Lindsey was listening.
He moved quickly away from her, putting space and rational thought between them. “I want you, God and Rachel know how much. But I won’t mislead you. I want it real, not some damned vision she puts in our heads.”
He turned away and Clarissa felt his absence as if the sun had vanished from the sky. An ache formed in the region of her heart, and she felt a tightness grow in her chest. What was that warmth on her cheeks? Reaching up, she was astonished to find the tears on her fingertips.
Was she crazy? She wanted more than a dream lover as well, but she wasn’t sure how to separate the two. She ached deep in her soul. Until they found those answers, what choice did they have? She didn’t know how to explain that to him.
The door of the coffee shop slammed against the wall as he left.
Faith came racing out of the office. “What happened?” Worry filled her eyes.
“Nothing.” Clarissa whispered. “I’m fine.” She wasn’t sure which was the bigger lie. “You need to get back to work, don’t you?”
Faith glanced at her watch and then back at Clarissa. “Yeah, but I can call and tell them something came up if you need me.”
“No. I’m okay.” She had to be.
Lindsey’s ride arrived just then and she was also reluctant to leave her. She assured both Faith and Lindsey that she was fine and needed only silence and a chance to be alone for a few minutes. The heavens complied with her hopes as no customers came in.
Pulling herself together, Clarissa reached for the dirty dishes. Noticing David’s unfinished coffee cup on the counter, she picked it up and took it to the sink. It still held something of him, and for a long minute she stood looking at the liquid in the cup.
Taste it. The words were so soft, little more than a passing thought. Suddenly, her mouth grew dry and her tongue slid over her parched lips. She saw the faint smudge where David’s lips had been.
Lifting the mug, she sipped the brew. Her eyes closed. She saw him as he’d been only moments before. His hair loose about his face, his eyes filled with desire. As the drink slid down her throat, she tasted him and longed for more.
Dear God. She was going crazy! Dropping the cup, she watched it hit the porcelain sink. It shattered in a clatter of noise.
Touch it. The words whispered in her mind, louder than the last command.
As if of their own accord, her fingers reached toward the sharp pieces. Bright red blood swirled in the sink. Looking down, Clarissa saw it dripping from her fingertips. Why didn’t she feel pain? Why didn’t she feel her life’s force flowing from her? Surely that much blood would leave some sort of impression.
“No,” she screamed, turning away from the sink and running for the door. The bright sunshine bit into her tired eyes. She couldn’t leave, but she couldn’t stay either.
Strong arms closed around her. She recognized him immediately and didn’t struggle. She couldn’t. David was the only thing that seemed real and solid in this mixed-up world. His gaze met hers, reflecting back her fear. Then his concern crowded out her fear. Her heart slowed and she dared to look down at her hands again.
The blood was gone.
It had been an illusion.
Collapsing, she fell against his broad, warm chest, seeking anything and everything he could give her. He held her, his hands moving smoothly and slowly over her back. Yet even while he held her, he stood rigid and silent.
He didn’t ask her why she’d screamed. She didn’t ask him why he hadn’t really left. It was as if neither of them wanted to speak for fear their words would trigger the return of the vision. Instead, he reached up and tilted her chin until she looked into his eyes. He didn’t speak. He simply lowered his head and gently kissed her.
The tenderness astounded her. Tears of reaction burned in her eyes and she melted into him. She leaned into the strength he so willingly shared, wanting to draw some of it into herself.
Suddenly, he pulled away, a grimace of pain on his face. “I
. . . we can’t,” he whispered, pulling away.
She wasn’t letting him go without an explanation. The last time he’d experienced this pain, he’d changed into that bird. No, this time she needed answers. “David, tell me what’s happening.”
“I can’t explain.”
“You have to. This involves me now. She’s in my head. Am I going to start changing into animals, too?” Fear tore through her, and she grabbed his arm, knowing her fingernails dug into his skin. But she was unable to stop the urgency raging inside her.
“I don’t know. I don’t know why it happens.” Despair cloaked his voice even as he took several deep breaths. Sweat stood out on his forehead, plastering his shirt to his skin as he fought whatever it was that threatened to overtake him.
The long minutes passed and he slowly relaxed. “Let’s go back inside,” he suggested and took her arm.
The interior of the shop seemed dim after the bright sunshine, but warm and welcoming, like home. She relaxed and slowly turned back to the sink, forcing herself to look into it.
No blood.
It had never really existed.
She poured them both an icy glass of water. She had to do something, had to help him fight this torment that threatened to tear them both apart.
“Please explain. I need to know what’s happening.”
He slumped into the nearest chair, the heavy wood slamming into the wall from the impact of his weight. “It all started about a year ago. I think that strong emotions trigger it. Whenever I’m angry or feel passionate about something—” He looked up at her. “—or someone. If I can stay calm, it doesn’t happen. That’s why we can’t . . . ” He left his sentence unfinished.
She knew what he meant. That’s why they couldn’t make love. Why he couldn’t let himself feel anything for her. Because then the dream would come true.
“I can go to Dove’s Place,” he said. “It doesn’t happen there.”
“Why there?”
He frowned. “I have an idea, but I’m not positive. Rachel grew up in Dove’s Hollow. That’s the town that used to be there. She hated it, swore she’d never go back. The dreams and the . . . what do you call it? The change? It doesn’t happen there.”
“She can’t reach you there? How did you figure that out?”
“By accident.” He leaned back and drank the rest of the water. “We used to go there a lot before her parents died. I liked the place, and after her death I found I could relax there.”
“She can’t go there. That’s why she sent that kid to kill you.”
David shrugged. “Probably. I don’t know anymore. I have a hard time believing she’d want to kill me.”
Clarissa paced. Her thoughts raced. “She might, if she thought you’d be with her.”
He looked up then, his surprise evident on his face. “What type of screwy logic is that?”
“Who said any of this had to be logical?” She tried to smile, to ease the tension and help them concentrate without the emotional distraction.
The phone rang then, breaking the tension better than she ever could, bringing the real world back into place. She answered it, knowing she still had a job to do. Her livelihood depended on it.
“Clarissa?” Lindsey’s voice came over the line. “I forgot to tell you that a lady named Linda called earlier. Sorry. She wanted to know if we had any job openings, said she knew you.”
Linda. Thank goodness. Clarissa was so glad to hear she was all right and already looking for a job. Clarissa’s fears eased. “Did she leave a number?”
“I put it on your desk on a yellow sticky.”
“Thanks.”
“See you tomorrow.” Lindsey hung up and the silence returned. David didn’t say a word, just sat staring out the window, lost in thought.
“Lindsey,” she explained. “She said Linda called looking for a job.”
He turned to face her then, his eyes troubled. He tried to smile. “I’d hire her. Tell her to put me down as a reference.” The monotone of his voice hurt her heart. He was back in control again, unfeeling, uncaring, unliving.
She didn’t say anymore as customers came in, jangling the bell over the door. Two young women stood discussing what they’d order. Clarissa knew she had a couple of minutes, but not much more.
He stood and paused at the door. Obviously she’d given him some things to think about. “I’m working late tonight. I can’t get to certain files until after hours. Can I see you afterward?”
She looked at him, her hopes rising at the thought of going out with him.
“We could talk more,” he said.
Disappointed, she chose to ignore her feelings about the fact that he wasn’t really asking her out on a date. Emotion flickered and then faded in his eyes before she could identify it. “Yeah. We can do that.”
He stepped closer. “Don’t be alone if you can help it.” His tone grew even more serious, if that were possible. “And don’t believe anything you hear or see.”
She nodded. “I’m going to call Linda. I’ll see if she can come over today.” She glanced at her watch. “The evening rush will start soon. I’ll be busy.”
He seemed reluctant to leave. She didn’t want him to go, but she knew he couldn’t stay. Even now the temptation to reach out and pull him close was strong.
He closed the distance between them in an instant, kissing her hard and deep and fast. “Definitely worth the risk,” he whispered before he hurried away.
She stood there for a few minutes, savoring his kiss and wishing—
“Excuse me,” one of the girls called, and Clarissa turned back to business. That kept her busy for awhile. It was several minutes before she could get back to the office to look for Linda’s phone number.
After searching through several piles of papers, Clarissa found the yellow sticky note with the woman’s name and number on it. After several rings, she was ready to give up, but then the phone picked up and she heard Linda’s warm hello.
“I was just heading over there. The waitress this morning said you’d probably be in around lunch.”
“How soon can you start?” Clarissa didn’t stop to think how she’d fit another employee into her already tight budget. She had to take time off, and Lindsey was already stretched to the limit.
“How soon do you need me?”
“Now?” Clarissa had never hired anyone without first checking all their references. She didn’t believe in hiring anyone to replace herself, but she’d never been in quite this type of position before.
“I’ll be there in—” She paused. “Half an hour?”
“You’re hired.” Clarissa laughed as she hung up the phone and reached into her desk drawer. Pulling out a time sheet, she filled it out and stuck it on the bulletin board outside her office before she could change her mind.
She slumped against the wall, resting before the rush began. So much had happened. She’d seen so many emotions warring in David’s eyes, none of which gave her any comfort. Fear. Anxiety. Exhaustion. They were all there, tangled up and confused. If he couldn’t sort them out, she’d never get a handle on them. Those same emotions battled within her. He’d answered some of her questions, but so many more came to mind.
Slowly, she moved away from the wall and headed back out front. She had to keep busy or risk falling asleep.
Several minutes later the familiar voice came from the doorway and her spirits lifted. “Clarissa?”
“Linda? In here.”
The sound of Linda’s footsteps was normal and reassuring. As the woman poked her head inside and smiled, Clarissa felt herself relax. Linda looked good. She wore a thick sweater and formfitting pants that made her look much younger than she had in the diner’s retro uniform.
“I didn’t know what to wear, a uniform or what.” Her
smile was hesitant.
“You look great. It looks like you’re recovering.”
“Yeah. The robbery just made my decision for me. I hated working there.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome here. I’d appreciate the help.”
“I appreciate the job. I’d go nuts sitting at home.” Clarissa returned Linda’s smile, knowing how she hated to be idle herself.
Linda sat in the wooden chair at an empty table. After they finished the paperwork, Linda’s eyes watered. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“We’re both going to benefit from this,” Clarissa admitted and realized she spoke the truth. She liked Linda and her instincts told her she’d made a good choice.
A few minutes later, Clarissa slipped back into the office while Linda filled out the employment paperwork. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever been this tired. She needed sleep; she knew that. David had told her that she’d go crazy with the lack of sleep. Maybe he was right.
She sank into her chair for just a second. Just a brief second. Sleep wasn’t long in coming and she fought against it, but she didn’t have the strength to hold it at bay.
Before she could take more than a few breaths of peace, the visions appeared. She was inside a room she’d never seen before. This was different. Usually she knew where she was.
She found herself drifting, watching what transpired. The room looked cold and sterile, the walls lined with file cabinets. David came in and pulled open two drawers, removing several files before he sat at a computer terminal and booted it up. Soon, boring ledger pages appeared on the screen.
What was he looking at? She couldn’t tell from where she was, and she couldn’t move closer. Suddenly, the room brightened, and flames shot out of a box on the table. Books and ledgers blazed. Smoke billowed into the air, filling the small room.
David stood, searching for something to put out the fire. There wasn’t anything to use. Not even a fire extinguisher near the exit.
He coughed, bending nearly double as the smoke thickened and filled the room. He fell to his knees, gasping for air, then tumbled to the floor, his eyes closed.