by Oram, Jean
“We’re sleeping on an island,” Jen said. “Bear free. I promise.”
“Bears swim,” breathed Billy, his body rigid with fright.
Jen lowered her paddle. Maybe she should have turned around. Maybe nature was warning her to get the hell off her back. Maybe this wasn’t what she was supposed to do with her life. Maybe she was missing the signs that were telling her to get these people out of here.
“The island we’ll be on is a very long swim,” Jen told the group. “We aren’t that delectable, and berries are in season. They’ll choose berries over us.” The group didn’t look convinced. “I have bear spray and bear bangers. They make a loud noise to scare off bears.”
The group immediately began talking loudly. Mostly about who was going to plant their tent beside Jen’s for the night and whether anyone had brought a radio to play loudly while everyone slept.
“Shhh!” Tony complained. “You’ll scare off all the wildlife and that’s why we’re out here. We didn’t pay to paddle through a postcard setting and not see a single sign of wildlife. We’ll be fine.” He shook his head in disgust, settling Brenda again.
Jen felt her shoulders relax a notch, and she sent Tony a grateful smile. She was on the right path. This is what felt right. Nothing good came without any trials or tribulations, right?
They continued to paddle, blisters popping up on hands like war wounds, before they pulled up to the island Jen had in mind. The throbbing in her ankle had subsided, and the sun reflecting off the lake was making the water sparkle, causing everyone to fall into a quiet contentment. Everything was going to be okay.
She directed the group to pull the canoes and gear ashore, and then helped set up camp.
“Phil and Ned, can you gather twigs and small branches off the ground for a fire?”
Rob smiled at her. “You managed to get a fire permit?”
Jen placed her hands on her hips. “Ha. Ha. They are actually quite lenient when you have a small area of land you can burn down.” She gestured to the small island with a comeback smile. “Anyway, if I do burn this place down, it will be on your head.” She gave him a sweet smile and went to start supper over a nice little campfire she was about to light.
CHAPTER 6
Jen watched the sun set from the solitude of the long grass along the island’s shore. Behind her, sounds from the campfire drifted toward the lake. Cracks and snaps from the burning logs, voices and laughter. She glanced over her shoulder as she heard the grass make a large swish, a telltale sign that someone was coming her way.
Dina plunked herself down beside Jen. “That was fun. I’d forgotten most of those campfire songs.”
Supper had gone well as had a few campfire songs and stories afterward. She hadn’t lit herself on fire, nor the island, meaning it was a roaring success. And don’t think she hadn’t noticed Rob glancing over her shoulder here and there as she lit the fire in a homemade fire pit. But she’d rocked it. Competent like nobody’s business. The only way she could have lit the Raspberry Creek Park fire was by fluke and accident.
“Yeah, they are fun,” Jen said.
The last of the sunset’s colors were melting off the water’s reflection, and the dew and coolness would soon start wrapping her world. Fireflies sputtered across the evening sky, a chill edging into the air, coming closer and closer to her bare arms.
“It’s beautiful out here,” Dina said quietly. “I’m glad Rob asked me to come.”
Spread out on her back, Jen watched the first stars of the evening show themselves in the pale blue-black sky. It was beautiful out here. She could almost forget her problems. Almost.
“You’re having an okay time?” she asked. Even though your guide is on the wildlife’s Most Wanted List?
“It’s nice to get out of the city and spend time with my big brother. I’m getting married in three weeks.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s your fiancé like?”
“Perfect,” she said with a sigh.
Jen just about laughed. Hello, reality? Dina could use a wake up call. There was no such thing as perfect.
“You don’t believe me?” Dina said, turning to face Jen.
“Sorry. Once bitten, twice shy. That’s nice that you feel he’s perfect. You don’t hear that very often.” Jen pointed out a cloud of fireflies. “Have you been together long?”
“Long enough,” Dina said, a smile in her voice. “And you?”
“Getting married? Hell, no.” She resisted the urge to flee the conversation. But this was what friends talked about, right? Or at least what good guides did—listened to their clients talk about this kind of stuff.
“Do you have someone special?” Dina asked.
“Nope.”
“Hm.”
“Why do you not sound convinced?” Jen laughed uneasily, hoping Dina didn’t try to play matchmaker between her and Rob. Although, it would be sort of cool, in an awkward kind of way, if she did. She sat up and stretched to try and mask her discomfort.
“I just thought…I thought I’d heard…”
Oh, this was getting good. Or bad. She wasn’t sure which.
“There isn’t anyone,” Jen fidgeted with her hands. “I can’t get a man to not jump away when I touch him.”
Like Moe. Until Rob had come to town, he’d always politely slip away from her touch. He and Amy were the two who were meant to be together, not her and Moe. The problem was, with her chasing Moe she’d been wasting everyone’s time and kept him from the girl who really wanted him.
It had only been a game. A game with herself, a big lie to make herself believe she was okay. That she wasn’t hurt and alone.
But she was.
“You seem sad,” Dina noted gently.
“Nah, it’s fine,” Jen said quickly, turning onto her stomach to watch the group assembled around the campfire. Brenda, larger than life, was telling a story that had the group laughing and hooting.
“So, what advice would you give a bride-to-be?” Dina asked, laughing lightly at Brenda’s antics.
Jen choked a dry, bitter laugh. “You don’t want relationship advice from me.”
“There’s always advice to be given no matter how a relationship ends. Tell me how to avoid disaster.”
Jen paused even though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. “Make sure you have the right guy.”
“Helpful,” Dina said, amused.
“No. It actually is,” she insisted. “I mean, such as…share interests. It’s a bigger deal than people realize. How can you be yourself and grow if you’re with someone who doesn’t even care that there is a difference between kinds of canoe paddles?” It made her grumpy just thinking about it. How stupid and scared she’d been to cling to Ken for all those years. Six whole years. Wasted. Well, maybe not entirely seeing as she could give Dina advice on how not to suck in love. “It’s never worth losing who you are simply for the security of someone to call family.”
“Deep.”
“It’s true,” Jen said defensively.
“It’s good advice.” After a long silence, Dina asked, “How’s your ankle?”
Geez. This girl was just hitting all the sore spots tonight.
“Healing as we speak. Your brother did a good job of patching me up.”
“Well, he paid enough for his first and only year of med school. I’m glad it’s paying off.”
Jen’s curiosity hit a high note. “He went to med school?”
“For a year. Then he decided to become a fire investigator. He didn’t exactly have a soft spot for the hours of studying and being cooped up.” She paused. “His first degree was in biology with courses in fire science and forestry. His real passion, I suppose. Mom and Dad were disappointed when he dropped out, but they’re the ones who’ve always told us to follow our hearts. Mom’s bothered that Rob is out of touch for weeks at a time though.”
Follow your heart. What would it be like to have a family that supporte
d you? Not only to tell you to follow your heart, but to still believe in you and support you when you did?
Although, maybe she didn’t need that seeing as she’d ended up following her heart despite her parents’ wishes. That’s what put her on this island.
She sighed. Somehow she still felt as though she was working upstream. The feeling of having to go back in the past to fix something dug at her. Was it her parents? Ken?
And why should she go back?
“They sound as though they’re great parents,” Jen said, trying to shake off the feeling.
“You can borrow them anytime.”
“Think they’ll mind?” Jen asked with a chuckle.
“I should warn you first.”
Here it comes… No family was perfect.
Dina glanced to the fire and back to Jen. “You’re already in.”
Jen burst out laughing. “Your parents have a thing for suspects?”
Dina lowered her voice. “Mom thinks you and Rob are dating. He mentioned you last week when he was visiting and Mom leapt on it. He doesn’t usually mention girls.” Dina gave Jen a meaningful look in the dusk, and Jen felt her head spinning with confusion. “So, she leapt to the conclusion that you two were an item. Secretly. And therefore he was serious about you.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Jen sat up. What kind of trouble was Dina trying to stir up? “That would be not only unprofessional, but a conflict of interest. And it could get us both in a lot of trouble.”
Unfazed, Dina said, “Rob is single, you know.”
“I’m pretty sure Rob could find a girl on his own who doesn’t have a wallet-full of overcharges due to her extra baggage.”
“You like him,” Dina stated.
“Jesus!” Jen went to stand, but her ankle shouted at her to stay put. Pain won over the desire to run. Which meant the part of her that wanted to pry every bit of information out of Dina, could.
“What?” Dina protested. “The feeling is mutual, isn’t it?”
Jen pulled in a breath to protest, but Dina continued, “But being friends isn’t going to be enough with you two. I can tell. So, what do we do?”
“We ignore it. We both have professional reputations on the line, and he doesn’t need to go down in flames just because I might be.”
Jen sighed. This must be that higher order brain Wally had mentioned taking over. Could she handle staying here beside Dina, uncomfortable and scared, but willing to hear her out? Instead of taking flight like she wanted to would staying help her make friends with the monsters under the bed? Would it resolve the issue of timing around her and Rob? Probably not, but it might give her some clues on how to solve the whole problem of her crush—especially since his sister had just admitted that her feelings weren’t bouncing off a rubber wall and back on herself. They were mutual.
She gave a small smile and took inventory of her emotions. She was freaked out by the idea of letting Rob in. Afraid of the pain that would inevitably come from such a poorly timed friendship. Afraid that she might put him in a bad position—worse than she already had. But if she was going to be honest, she was tired being alone. Exhausted by holding people she liked at arm’s length. Of watching where the conversations went and steering them away when she feared she’d get in over her head.
Dina was reaching out. Offering a directness Jen appreciated.
“He broke up with his girlfriend.” Dina brushed her wavy hair off her shoulders.
“I know.” Jen watched the dark water, wondering how deep it was. How cold. How many secrets it held.
“He told you?” Dina turned to face Jen, surprise increasing the pitch of her voice.
“He said he booked this trip in hopes of creating common interests.”
“They were together for almost two years.”
So, he was on the rebound. They watched fireflies, silence stretching between them.
“Rob was wanting to get back to his roots, but I think she always thought he’d go back to med school and stop communing with nature.”
“There isn’t a lot of nature to commune with at a burn site,” Jen said.
Dina pulled out a handful of grass. “He took her camping once. Did he tell you about that?”
Jen shook her head in the dusk.
“She got pissed off when they got caught in the rain. That was the end of that.”
Jen smiled, thinking about their hike to the burn site and how horribly crazy it had been in the rain, but also how it had ended up being one of the most fun-filled days in recent memory.
“Trust became an issue,” Dina said quietly.
“You can’t always predict the weather.” She and Rob—two people who should have been prepared—had been caught completely unprepared. She loved the way they’d rolled with the punches and the way it had cemented something between them. Looking back, it felt as though their hike had been a turning point for her. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but things had somehow changed in her mind. The urge to run from everything had subsided to a tolerable itch instead of a flat out need after their hike. And, if she allowed herself to admit it, she really wanted Rob as a friend. A friend who thought she was honest, trustworthy, and fun.
Sighing, she shifted her weight. She didn’t care to admit how much it had bothered her when Rob had sped away that morning after seeing Moe standing in her apartment doorway looking as though he’d spent the night. She knew the feeling Rob must have had. And it wasn’t a good feeling.
“I can relate to trust issues,” she said.
“How come?”
Jen shrugged, wanting to hear more about Rob and Cindy, not divulge the horrid details of her own attempt at something solid and how it had crashed and burned because she’d trusted two people she shouldn’t have.
Dina patiently waited and Jen heaved a grumbling sigh of defeat. “Fine. I was living with a guy. Everyone thought we’d live happily ever after and we didn’t.”
There. She’d said it.
“What was his name?”
“Ken. I worked at his parents’ convenience store after high school.”
“Ken and Jen?”
“They called us Cajun.”
Dina laughed. “Is that how you met—at his parents’ store?”
“In high school. I ran away from home and moved in with him and his parents when my parents got divorced. After high school we got our own place. Blah, blah, blah. Et cetera.”
“I’m sorry. You don’t want to talk about it.” Dina reached across the grass, laying a hand on Jen’s arm.
The gesture made her bottom lip tremble, the desire to spill everything pushing on her. What was it about Dina and Rob that made her blurt things she hadn’t even shared with Mandy and Amber?
“We didn’t have a lot of money. This part of me,” she said as she gestured to the night world around them, sounds of animals calling to each other, the water, the canoes pulled up on shore, “died. I couldn’t afford it. I took the easy path assuming it would all work out eventually.”
“And it didn’t?”
“Of course not.”
“Didn’t Ken try and fix things?”
“I didn’t really give him a chance.”
“Why not?”
Jen’s chest tightened with pain. “A certain responsibility toward me was lifted when I left. It was for the best.”
“Did you have kids?”
“No, but I think he felt responsible for me because his family helped me through a tough time. And he didn’t want to…I don’t know…repeat history, I suppose. My history.” Jen squirmed, tugging at her shirt sleeves before adjusting her ponytail. “Anyway, here I am! And I’m happy.”
“Even though my brother’s investigating you?”
It was as though every hair on Jen’s body lit fire, scorching her skin. She could feel Dina’s gaze prying under her, delving in.
“Well, that’s been a bit of a kink in the chain of happiness,” she said with a sigh.
“It’s nothing pe
rsonal.”
“I know.”
“He likes you.”
“I’m a likeable person.”
Dina laughed. “No, I mean he thinks you’re cool. You know?” She gave Jen a nudge, but Jen wasn’t in the mood to play a game of which-man-who-shouldn’t-like-you-likes-you. She knew there was something between the two of them, and she was starting to get pissed off at all the barriers.
The lake was black, the last of the light having been sucked over the mountains as the sun continued west. “Why did trust become an issue with Rob and Cindy?” she asked, the curiosity killing her. Was there something in his past that gave them another thing in common?
In the distance the sounds of the group packing up for the night began. Tent zippers, people calling out good nights.
“I probably shouldn’t gossip about him…” Dina said reluctantly.
“Then why did you mention it?”
Had she read Dina wrong? Had she come in close only to get the goods on Jen, but then when it was time to reciprocate she turned around and shut Jen out?
“The short story is that she didn’t treat him right.”
Jen caught a warning in Dina’s tone.
A loyal guy who wasn’t around much and his girlfriend had taken advantage of that small fact. As he’d said in Brew Babies about exclusivity having regional meanings. All he was doing was trying to seek out a new life—as she had—that would lead to happiness. But people in his life were stuck in the past and what they wanted and what they saw and what they thought he should want. It was another good reminder why she hadn’t called Ken or her parents. They wouldn’t understand.
She stood, her ankle sending out pain signals. “I’d better make sure the fire gets out properly. I can’t afford another legal case.”
Rob headed past them, an empty bucket swinging from his hand.
“Careful, the shoreline is slippery,” she called, feeling as though she’d lost something big for not being there to show him she could watch and put out a campfire.
“I know,” he called.
She could just about hear him roll his eyes as she followed Dina toward the camp.
There was a splash in the distance and Dina folded over with laughter. “Ohmigod! I can’t believe he fell in!”