by J. L. McCoy
“Me too,” Holly breathed then smiled at me. “You stood your own, though. That’s super impressive for a human.”
“You were holding my arms,” I whispered as Jojo opened the sliding glass door. “I couldn’t run even if I’d wanted to.”
The three girls laughed amusedly as we stepped onto the back porch.
My eyes immediately widened in shock as I took in the scene before us. There were men everywhere. Some barbecuing, some at the picnic tables playing poker, but the majority were watching from the sidelines as two men bare-knuckle boxed in a makeshift ring. The whooping and hollering from the crowd as each man landed blows on the other was near-deafening.
“Whoa,” I breathed in shock as I scanned the spacious backyard. I’d never in my life seen anything this crazy. “Is it always like this?”
“Yeah, the pack likes to blow off a little steam before a big run,” Jojo chuckled.
I heard a loud smack and turned just in time to see the losing fighter go down. The crowd went wild as he was hoisted on shoulders and carried off to the sidelines. As soon as he was clear, another man stepped into the ring and quickly took his shirt off, ready to take his place. I gasped as I recognized Dylan and then turned to the girls questioningly.
“Don’t worry, Nik,” Holly laughed. “They live for this shit. They think it’s fun.”
I blinked at her a few times; then shrugged my shoulders. “Men can be so weird sometimes.”
I got the feeling I was being watched and quickly scanned the scene, looking for the source. There, standing by the huge barbecue pit and manning the grill, totally topless and looking seriously sexy as hell, was Dean. His dark eyes stared into mine as a small, secret smile played on his lips.
“Someone’s got their eye on you,” DeeDee sang loudly as she gently elbowed me.
Startled by her observation, I broke eye contact with Dean and turned to face her. “I’m not a girl who normally blushes, but if you keep at it, I’m going to be beet red in two seconds flat,” I whispered, fighting a small smile. “You wouldn’t want to mortify a girl, now would you, Dee?”
“You like him!” Holly gasped, mouth agape, as she grabbed my arm and pulled me to the large patio table a few feet away.
“Shh,” I shushed her, pulling her down to sit beside me. When they were all seated, I put my forearms on the table and leaned in for privacy. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what to call what I’m feeling for him. Appreciation? Extreme gratitude?”
“The way you were looking at him, those aren’t the words I’d use,” Jojo chuckled.
“You were looking a little lusty there, lady.” Holly smiled.
I sighed and silently met each of their eyes as I indecisively chewed on my bottom lip. These three girls were the only people I knew who had lived through an event comparable to mine. I needed to talk to someone about my feelings and if anyone on this earth could understand, it was them.
“I…I kind of cuddled with him last night on the couch…and I initiated it.”
DeeDee, Jojo, and Holly exchanged surprised looks.
“Wow,” DeeDee breathed out.
“That was fast,” Jojo smiled.
“Good for you!” Holly beamed.
“It felt so…natural…safe,” I whispered, struggling for the right words, “and I did it without thought. It just happened.”
“But now you’re freaked out?” Jojo asked gently as she put her hand on top of mine.
“Kind of,” I nodded, and then shook my head, “but not because it’s him…because I just lived through something absolutely horrific and I don’t understand how I could so readily make physical contact with another man…you know, like that.”
Jojo tsked and sighed as she patted my hand. “Honey, we all heal differently and in different ways. There’s not a guidebook for it. We just go on with our lives and do the best we can.”
“And, Dean is a good man,” Holly said with understanding, softly stroking my hair.
“I know he is.” I nodded, looking over at her. “He’s wonderful.”
“Then why question it, dear?” DeeDee asked with a smile. “Do what makes you feel comfortable.”
I chewed on my lip, deep in thought, as I considered her words. “But how will I know if I’m ready—”
“To cuddle?” Jojo supportively jumped in.
I nodded and she smiled knowingly.
“You answered your own question last night. Dean obviously makes you feel safe and that is an exceedingly rare feeling after the trauma you just experienced. Don’t question it. Just do what feels natural to you and let whatever develops from your friendship develop on its own,” she said gently. “You know, I questioned myself, too, when Primo and I started spending time together, but I quickly realized that he is nothing like the men who hurt me. I felt like he had my back and no one could ever hurt me again. That’s when I knew I was ready to take the next step with him.”
I smiled over at Jojo, feeling genuine happiness for her. After living such a horrible life with her previous pack, she deserved the safety of this one and the love and support of a good man like Primo.
“I hate to butt in here, ladies, but someone seriously hasn’t been able to take his eyes off Nikki since she came outside,” Holly whispered intently across the table to DeeDee and Jojo.
Their brows rose in surprise as they both leaned in closer to us. “Seriously?” they asked in unison.
“Seriously,” Holly nodded.
“What does that mean?” I asked. The way they were talking so intently about it, I figured something was wrong.
Jojo turned her head to watch the little boys playing tag not too far from where Dean stood. Discretely, she chanced a glance at him, and then returned her attention to the boys before finally looking back at Holly. “Oh, my word,” she breathed in surprise.
“Uh-huh!” Holly nodded her head and grinned. “Told you so.”
“Wow,” DeeDee smiled, looking impressed.
“Uh, hello,” I said, patting the table between us two times to get their attention. “What does that mean? Is something wrong?”
They silently stared at each other for a few heartbeats, while my own heart seemed to stop. Finally, DeeDee spoke up. “No, nothing’s wrong. Something seems to be right, though.”
I shook my head in confusion, not understanding.
“It’s just that…we’ve never seen our alpha give any woman more than a passing glance,” Jojo whispered, “and we’ve been here almost a year.” I felt my cheeks redden as she continued. “The fact that he can’t take his eyes off you speaks volumes.”
“That must have been one hell of a cuddle you gave him last night,” Holly beamed, then slightly nodded her head toward Dean. “Seems you’ve definitely tamed that beast.”
I covered my eyes with my hand, slightly embarrassed by their assertion, as I laughed along with them. “It was just a cuddle, I swear.”
They laughed even harder and I risked a glance over at Dean. He was smiling and laughing along with his men while he pulled the barbecue off the grill. As he handed off the tray to the guy closest to him, his eyes flicked up and caught mine. My breath immediately stilled as he smiled at me. I noticed then that it wasn’t the smile he gave everyone else; this one seemed to be reserved just for me. I felt myself blush again as I returned his smile with one of my own before turning my attention back to the girls.
“See what we mean?” Holly winked.
“Ooh! Roxy’s going to be so pissed,” Jojo said gleefully as she stood up from the table. “This calls for a drink! We need to celebrate.”
“You guys dislike her that much?” I asked, laughing as I stood as well.
“Uh, hello!” Holly giggled, rolling her eyes. “You’ve met the bitch, right?”
“Touché,” I smiled, tipping my imaginary hat to her.
As we walked in the back door, I saw Dean’s kitchen was buzzing with activity. The counters were now full of potluck items that had been taken out of the re
frigerator and I watched as girls loaded up their arms with paper plates, plastic ware, condiments, and cold dishes.
“You,” Roxy called out gruffly as she snapped her fingers at me before picking up a big bowl of potato salad, “make yourself useful already. Just because you’re the alpha’s new pet doesn’t mean you’re immune from kitchen duties. We all pitch in and that means you will too. Grab a fucking bowl and follow me.”
Holly elbowed me, rolled her eyes while giving me a knowing look, and walked past me. I took a deep, calming breath and fought the very real urge to flip Roxy off as I went to the bar and loaded my arms up with two large salad bowls and a basket of bread.
As we exited the back door, Roxy whistled loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. “It’s time to get your grub on, boys!” she called out in a happy singsong.
I watched as some of the men quickly moved the six enormous picnic tables together as others took off their shirts and laid them out on the ground under some of the larger trees. As I began to set my stuff down, a man covered in tattoos and sporting a tall green Mohawk came up to me and helped lighten my load.
“Thanks,” I said appreciatively, giving him a small smile.
“S’cool.” He winked, raising his chin. “That’s some nice ink you’ve got.”
“Thank you.” I studied his for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “You, too. That chest piece is sick.”
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites,” he nodded, before tilting his head at me. “I’m Fitz, by the way.”
“I’m Nikki.”
“I know.” He smiled at me before his eyes slid to something over my shoulder. I noticed him take a step back from me and I spun around, concerned.
My eyes registered Dean’s presence and I immediately relaxed again. “Hey,” I greeted him, barely above a whisper, but his eyes were still on Fitz.
“Mind if I borrow her?” he asked Fitz, his tone suggesting it wasn’t an actual question.
“She’s all yours, sir,” he said quickly.
I glanced over my shoulder to find him walking up to another woman to offer his help.
“Hey,” Dean said gently, and I turned back to him. He was smiling now and I couldn’t help but return it. “I was surprised to see you home so early.”
I bit my bottom lip as I tucked my dark hair behind my ear. “Yeah, well, I’m a klutz. I had a bit of an accident,” I said, motioning down to my leg.
“I see that,” Dean replied, his brow furrowed with concern. He dropped down on one knee and gently put his hand on the back of my calf before looking back up into my eyes.
I swallowed hard as I registered my body’s immediate reaction to him. My heartbeat sped up as did my respiratory rate. I tried to ignore the tingles his gentle touch elicited, but it was impossible.
“What happened here? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I breathed out unsteadily as his fingers slid to the top of the bandage. “I dropped one of the beer pitchers and…it shattered…I guess one of the shards got me. It’s nothing serious, hardly more than a scratch.”
Dean tsked and stood, folding his corded, tattooed arms across his bare, muscled chest. “It must be more than that if you came home,” he said with a twitch of his lips. I think he knew the effect he was having on me and it looked like he was thoroughly enjoying it.
Smoothing down my short black skirt, I cleared my suddenly dry throat and tried not to drown in the chocolate warmth of his eyes. Everything Holly, DeeDee, and Jojo said earlier about Dean never giving any woman more than a passing glance came rushing back to the forefront of my mind. I couldn’t help but watch him while he watched me, the heat bouncing between us damn near palpable.
Get it together, girl, I thought, mentally slapping myself. “Uh…you know…Dan…” I stumbled lamely as I tried to force myself to look away from him and save myself some serious embarrassment. “He’s…cautious?” It was no use; I couldn’t look away. I suddenly felt like Icarus, drawn to the warmth and radiance of the sun. I’d never in my life had a reaction like this to a man before.
He chuckled under his breath as a devastating smile played across his lips. “So Dan sent you home?”
Yep, he’s definitely enjoying this. “Yes,” I whooshed out, a little too glad he understood my rambling. “Dan sent me home.”
Dean full-out laughed then and I blushed, shrugged my shoulders in a ‘what can you do’ manner, and joined him.
All too soon the smile slid from his face as his demeanor changed. His face was suddenly serious and my brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to speak with you for a moment in private,” he said soberly.
“Of course.” I nodded and followed him as he turned. “Is everything all right?”
Dean didn’t answer, but continued to walk toward the house. When we approached the porch, Roxy was there and she took notice that we were together.
“Can I make you a plate, sir?” she asked with fake cheer as her narrowed eyes bounced between Dean and me.
“Not now,” he said, never breaking his stride.
Following him into the house, I looked back over my shoulder and caught the evil look she was giving me. You know the saying ‘If looks could kill’? Yeah, well, that one was the equivalent of hacking me into tiny fucking pieces. Psycho bitch, much? I internally mused.
Dean led me into his bedroom and I paused briefly just inside the door. In the three weeks I’d been here, I’d never seen his room before, and I was surprised to find it tidy and well organized.
He perched on the corner of the bed and patted the spot beside him. “Have a seat, toots.”
After I did, he turned his body toward mine and sighed. “Do you remember the promise I made you the night you were rescued?”
With my hands clenched and brow furrowed, I painfully thought back to that night. “I…I don’t really remember. A lot happened that night and some of it is a little fuzzy.”
Dean nodded his head and gazed deeply into my eyes, his face serious. “That night, I promised you I’d find Lyric and make that sorry sack of shit pay for what he did to you.”
I took a deep breath as my heartbeat accelerated. “I remember,” I whispered, suddenly anxious.
He reached over and held my right hand tightly as he continued. “Last night, after you told me Lyric had been back to Drop Kick Dan’s, I sent my best trackers after him.”
“Did you…” I breathed, emotions running wild within me; I was hopeful, but fearful at the same time. My ex-boyfriend’s name still incited the worst kind of fear within me.
“We got him,” he stated firmly, his hand reaching up to gently cup my cheek.
My eyes closed and I sighed as my body sagged. Lyric was no longer running rampant in my city and I wouldn’t have to fear him any longer. “You got him,” I repeated, as if saying it could make it more real. Opening my eyes, I leaned over and hooked my free arm around Dean’s neck, embracing him tightly. I couldn’t help it; I had to hug him. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you. I knew you’d find him.”
His arm went around my waist and he held me to him. When I moved to pull back, he allowed me to, but his arm kept me close. “There’s more. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I feel that you should be the one who gets to choose his fate. After all, he betrayed you in the worst possible way and it’s only fair you get a say in his future.”
I opened my mouth, at a loss for words. I didn’t immediately know how I felt about his decision. Lyric hurt me by handing me over to those horrible vampires—by standing there, watching them drug and rape me, and by doing nothing to stop them. I fiercely hated him for what he did to me…but there was also a part of me, the part that once cared deeply for him, that didn’t want Lyric harmed, no matter his crimes against me. I was horribly conflicted and I couldn’t believe I felt this way. I’d been envisioning his capture for weeks.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, confused.
Dean nodded his
head and reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “I understand,” he said gently, his fingers lingering on my lobe. “Deciding a man’s fate is rarely easy, and it’s a sentence one shouldn’t pass lightly.” I nodded as he continued.
“Pack rules state the alpha has three choices that he or she may choose from.” He sat back from me a bit as he brought his hand between us and used his fingers to count them out. “One, Mercy. You can choose to let the accused live,” he explained with a frown. “If you decide to do that, I promise I’ll respect your decision, even though every ounce of my being is screaming to stomp the living shit out of him.” I smiled at that and he continued.
“Two, execution. The method will be left up to the pack, of course. The third option is Fate.”
“Fate?” I shook my head, not understanding.
“Yes, Fate. It’s where we leave his fate in his own hands during a challenge of sorts. The accused will be given a small head start and must cross a designated location before being caught. In this case, it’ll be the barbed wire fence surrounding my property.”
“What happens if you catch him before he’s able to cross the fence?”
“He dies,” he said plainly, his eyes studying me closely.
I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, looking to the floor beside me. I knew I needed to make a decision for him, but I was unsure of what I wanted. Letting Lyric go, scot-free, was not appealing to me. If it wasn’t for him, I would have never been kidnapped, and thus, been saved from days of torture and hell. I didn’t think I was mature enough to forgive and forget in this situation.
Executing him without a trial, with me being his only judge, gave me too much power. Some tiny part of me remembered the good man I thought he was, but I’d been a slave to the memories of my trauma since my release, and at this point, I was dangerously close to saying ‘fuck it’ and letting the pack have him. I didn’t know, after all was said and done, if I’d be able to live with myself if I made that decision. Killing a person…that would never leave me.
The third option, Fate, seemed the most appealing. Lyric’s fate would be in Lyric’s hands alone. If he made it across that fence, he’d live; if he didn’t, he’d die. There were two possible outcomes and I felt I could better accept this option. If Lyric did escape, I just hoped he’d decide to go somewhere far, far away and never, ever come near me again.