“All I need is a shower, a towel, and a washcloth!” I replied loudly.
“No problem. I’ll show you to the bathroom,” he said as he began to make his way toward the stairs.
I was shaken, as the thoughts of Timmy slumped over replayed in my mind. Once we reached the bathroom, he reached into the linen closet to hand me a towel and washcloth. I waited for him to walk out so that I could close the door behind him. I sat down on the toilet seat to remove my shoes and clothing.
After turning on the shower I waited a few seconds for it to reach the right temperature. As soon as the hot water hit my skin, I began to cry. I cried because I was sorry that I’d ever gotten involved with this. I had witnessed too many murders. Though I was no longer afraid of the situations, inside it was breaking me down. I had to build up the skin to handle the situations, and I had done pretty well with it. I was just growing annoyed with the fact that he’d been stringing me on for the past few months, telling me it’s just one more job. Each time he would tell me the same thing.
I had begun to care about Dontay, and it was hard for me to walk away. The first time we had sex I knew that I needed to be around him. He never acted as if he cared about me, but I knew better. It was all a cover-up. Instead of pushing him away, I fell back, hoping that when this shit was all over with, something good would come out of it.
Dontay had a way of reeling me back in even when I was furious with him. At one point in time, it was me putting people under a spell. Now I was stuck in that position. I was going to get my game back one way or another. Dontay wouldn’t be able to stop me.
I heard a knock on the door, and I noticed Dontay’s naked body through the glass door of the shower. It was just like Dontay to try to fuck after a situation like that. I didn’t say a word as he stepped into the shower behind me. I knew that I could use some dick, so I wasn’t going to turn him away no matter how angry I was.
He rubbed his hands across my back, and I began to shiver imagining the scene that was about to play out. His hands felt good and the feelings that I tried to avoid were bursting through. I could feel his lips on my back as I pushed my face completely under the shower. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pressed his hardness against my ass as he held me tight.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” Dontay whispered into my ear.
I could barely speak, but was able to moan, “Yes,” as his fingers traveled down to my clit. As much as I hated him for getting me involved in this life, I embraced his strength.
Dontay always took control. It was that persona that won me over in the first place. He wrapped his hands around my neck, not tight enough to hurt me, but just enough to get my adrenaline rushing. He sucked on the side of my neck before questioning me once more.
“You really want me to fuck you?”
“Yes,” I said as I reached around behind me to grab hold of his dick.
I stroked the length of it as he continued to play with my clit. I put one leg up on the side of the tub to give him full access. He took advantage of it by sliding his finger inside of my wetness. I sighed as the warmness of his fingers sent chills through my body. He continued kissing the back of my neck as I ground my hips to get his fingers deeper inside of me.
“I need you inside of me now,” I moaned.
He turned me around and looked me eye to eye. We didn’t speak, but as our lips met, we both knew what the other thought.
The water was beating on my back as he continued to push his tongue into my mouth. At that point, I didn’t care about the anger that I’d felt earlier. All I cared about was feeling his dick inside of me. Without hesitation, he turned me back around, bent me over, and shoved his stick inside of me. The feeling was intense, and he picked up speed once he realized how much I was enjoying it.
“You like this dick?” He panted as he placed his hand on my back digging deeper inside of me. I couldn’t speak as I was nearing an orgasm.
“I said, do you like this dick?” he repeated, obviously annoyed by my silence.
“Yes, dammit! Just don’t stop!” I responded loudly.
He was hitting all of the right places. Dontay was the best dick I’d ever had. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before he came since I was throwing my ass back at him, contracting my walls at the same time. I had learned a long time ago that there weren’t too many men who could take what I called a recipe to put a nigga to sleep.
He removed his length from inside of me then released on my ass. I was satisfied, but I didn’t know where it would lead. I knew that Dontay wasn’t one for serious relationships. Neither was I. I just hoped that maybe all that I’d done for him would somehow steer him away from having me being an accessory to any more murders.
Dontay quickly washed himself off, and without saying a word he stepped out of the shower. I followed his lead then met him in his living room.
“So, does this mean that I won’t have to do any more jobs for you?” I asked nervously. I was breaking down, and he’d just witnessed the effect this life was having on me. I hadn’t told a soul about what I was doing for him. Not even Hope knew. I couldn’t risk going to jail so I kept my lips sealed.
“What gave you that idea?” he said before taking a puff of his cigarette.
“I thought that you saw what this was doing to me. I thought that you hopping in that shower with me was showing me that you cared.”
“Look, I wanted to tap that ass ’cause I love fucking you. You were ass naked in my shower and since opportunity presented itself, I took advantage. It didn’t have shit to do with caring,” he coldly responded.
“What?”
“Look, I have a business to run. You are definitely an integral part of that. I don’t mix feelings in with business. That’s why I’m still standing and that’s also why these niggas I’m setting up are going down. I love pussy, don’t get me wrong, just not enough to let it interfere with my plans.”
“So what if I said I was through?”
“That’s not an option. You’re only option is to do what you agreed to do.”
“Dontay, I can’t do this anymore,” I yelled.
“Look, I know that you are upset right now, but if you want that twenty Gs, you’d better get yourself together.”
“It’s not about the money anymore. This shit is fucking with me mentally.”
“I’ll give you a week to get yourself together, that’s the best I can do. After that, it’ll be back to business.”
I couldn’t even respond. All of my anger was coming back, because I could see how cold he really was. I had to figure out a way to be done with this shit. I knew that ignoring him would only piss him off. I didn’t even know who his next target was, but I knew that I didn’t want to be involved.
I left his house and made my way home with all different emotions flowing through me. All I could do was wait around for his call. It was exactly a week later when he got with me.
Chapter Thirty
The Unthinkable
Alisha
After I made it to the meeting, I walked in without saying much. I gave him the look of death as I sat across from him in his living room. I knew that Dontay would try to pull a fast one on me, so I was ready for whatever he threw my way. With both of us having the same personality traits, we were destined to bump heads on most situations.
When he walked into the room, I had my game face on, and so did he. I was determined not to give in, but at the same time, what choice did I have? I was ready to say damn the contract, but was my life really worth it? I was ready to say fuck it all.
“So, are you ready for the next job?” he asked with a stern look on his face.
“No, I’m not ready, but I just want to get this shit over with,” I replied.
“Your next target is the nigga Desi from South Philly.”
“No, Dontay, you know how I feel about him. I thought we agreed that he was off-limits.”
“I never agreed to shit. I just saved him for last! That nigga has to
go, and there ain’t no ifs, ands, or buts about it!”
“We didn’t agree to that or I would have never gone through with this shit! I told you how I feel about him!”
“Look, I know what I agreed to, and you need to get on the ball so you can figure out how to get back in good with his ass! I want this job done, and I want it done right. I’ve tried to be cool, but Mr. Nice Guy is gone. If you don’t do what you agreed to do, it’s curtains!” he yelled.
“I’m through with this shit, Dontay! I told you from the beginning he was off-limits,” I yelled in frustration.
“What the fuck do you mean you’re through? This shit ain’t over until you do what you agreed to do!” he responded.
“I never agreed to hurt him. I care about him, Dontay,” I explained as I moved closer, still trying to convince him to end this charade.
“Let me give you a newsflash. He doesn’t give a fuck about you. He dumped your ass before, and he’ll do it again,” he yelled, pointing his finger into my face.
“Dontay, please, let me go. I’ve done enough already,” I begged as tears fell from my eyes.
“Don’t start that shit, Alisha. We had an arrangement. That’s the bottom line. You need to go home, get yourself together, and holla at me later. I’m not changing my mind so you can cut the tears short!” he demanded before heading toward the door to let me out.
“Dontay!” I yelled as he opened the door. “Please don’t make me do this,” I pleaded, grabbing him by the hand.
“I said all I have to say,” he said, snatching his hand away and pushing me closer toward the door.
I continued to beg before walking out. I thought that I could wear him down and eventually get him to change his mind. As he pushed me out of the door, I knew that I was fighting a war that I would never win. I walked to my car crying hysterically because of the fact that I had no choice other than to finish what I had started.
I pulled my cell phone out of my bag and stared at it contemplating calling Desi and tipping him off. I scrolled through the phonebook and pressed call. The phone rang a few times before he answered. When I heard his voice, I instantly froze. So, instead of speaking, I ended the call.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked myself aloud before turning off the phone completely. I knew Desi would try to reach me and see why I had called.
Chapter Thirty-one
The Whole Truth and Nothing But
Desire
A woman named Alisha contacted me. I didn’t know who she was or what she wanted with me. She told me that she had some information regarding Dontay that I would want to hear. At the very least, I was going to hear her out. By this point, I was through with him, and I wanted nothing more than to see him pay. The times that I’d spent with Dontay had been traumatic to say the least. When you are young and vulnerable, you never realize the things that you think you need are so far from that. I should’ve known a man like Dontay was no good for me, or anyone for that matter, but I was blinded by lust that I thought was love.
The meeting was set for five, and I arrived just short of it. We were meeting up at the local Starbucks near Temple University. I wasn’t sure why she picked the location, but public was always good. I walked in with my sunglasses on and looked around. I wasn’t sure what she looked like so I took a seat since I didn’t see any black women anywhere in there. After five minutes, a woman in a black dress approached my table.
“Hi, are you Desire?” she said.
“Yes, I am.”
“I’m Alisha, nice to meet you,” she said before sitting down.
“So what can I do for you?” I had my guard up. For all I knew, she could’ve been working for Dontay. I didn’t trust a soul.
“I have some information that could put Dontay away for a very long time.”
I sat up in my seat. I liked the direction of the conversation already. “Continue,” I said.
“I have a list of murders, along with photos, text messages, dates, times and all. I can prove that he was behind multiple murders. I can also prove that he is running one of the largest drug rings in the city.”
“So how do you have all of this information?”
“Because I helped him.”
“Helped him do what?” I asked. I was confused. Was she telling me that she was also a murderer? If that was the case, then what was there to stop her from killing me?
“Set people up to be murdered.”
“Why would you do that?”
“In order for you to understand, I’d have to tell you the whole story and this isn’t the place to divulge those sorts of details. I know you are involved with a man who’s in law enforcement and this is why I have to be careful with the information that I give you. I don’t want to mess with your career or life for that matter,” she said.
She was stone-faced, but her eyes had so much emotion in them. I could see that she was being honest, and I wanted to trust in my gut feelings.
“Well, the fact that you’ve called me here means that there is something to listen to. I’m extremely interested in hearing the details, so when or where do you think would be best to meet and discuss?”
“How about later on tonight, around nine p.m. maybe?”
“That time is fine. Where do you want to meet?”
“Meet me by the old steel mill in Frankford. You know where that is right?”
“Yeah, I know where that is.”
“Okay, then I will see you there tonight—and please come alone. I don’t want to involve anyone else in this,” she said before standing up from the small table.
“Okay, I’ll see you at nine,” I replied, watching her leave. Immediately, I picked up my phone and called Lamar to tell him about what had transpired.
“Lamar, are you sitting down?”
“Yeah, I’m sitting down. What’s up?”
“You will not believe this. I just met with a woman who claims that she has all of the information that we need to put Dontay away for good. If she truly has all of the information she claims, we could probably even get the death penalty!”
“How do you know that she is legit?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I just have a good feeling about this. I’m meeting with her again this evening. She said she will hand over all of the details at that time.”
“Okay, well, where are you meeting her? I’ll go with you.”
“No, Lamar, I have to go alone. She said that I had to come alone.”
“You can’t go meet her alone. You have no idea who this woman is. What if it’s a setup? What if she is really working for Dontay and it’s all a ploy to get you alone and kill you? You’re not thinking smart at all.”
“Look, Lamar, you have to trust me on this. I know that you are concerned, but I need this. We need this. I have to go, okay? I will call you later on tonight and update you,” I said before quickly hanging up. I didn’t want to give him time to try to convince me to let him accompany me. I had to go alone. I had to make sure this was handled and handled today.
Chapter Thirty-two
Murder in the First Degree
Dontay
I looked around to see who was there in the booth where Jimmy sat. In the surrounding booths there were groups of guys. Some were known to me, while others were unfamiliar faces. With my mind was racing, all I could think about was walking up to him, pointing the gun at his chest, and blowing him away.
I finally believed that this was the right time. I had been patient waiting on the perfect time to handle this important business. I had made a lot of bad decisions in my lifetime, but this wasn’t one of them. For me this was right. It was his just due. I could’ve easily hired someone to do it for me, but then I’d never get to see the fear in his eyes once he realized that his life would soon be over.
The club was packed. Wall-to-wall people were everywhere. I walked in and greeted a few people. I wasn’t trying to conceal my identity. I didn’t care who saw me. In fact I wanted to be seen so people would
know that I wasn’t the one to be fucked with. If that wasn’t already known, this would surely be conformation of it.
As I made my way through the crowd to Jimmy’s table, he looked at me as if he’d seen a ghost. Maybe he saw his reflection in me. Unfortunately, my good looks were a direct result of his good genes, because I looked just like him. That was something that made me hate him even more. Immediately he stood up once I reached his booth. There were no words exchanged at first, just grimacing looks. It was almost as if he knew what I had come to do. At this point, Lamar wasn’t there, which was a good thing since he really didn’t have anything to do with it. I couldn’t hold him accountable for the sins of his father unless he tried to intervene. Then he’d be a casualty of war.
We stood there eyeing each other. I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind, but for sure he was uneasy. I couldn’t say that he was scared, but it definitely wasn’t a comfortable situation.
“Well, well, well. I figured we’d meet again,” he said with a fake-ass grin.
I wanted to slap it clean off of his face, but I kept my composure. “Again?”
“Yeah, I saw you driving by. I’m sure you know that nothing goes unnoticed.”
“So you know who I am?”
“Of course I do. You’re the spitting image of me. So do you want to sit down and talk?”
“I didn’t come here to have a fucking conversation.”
“Well, what is it that you came here for?”
I didn’t respond. I was thinking hard, and I needed to decide his fate quickly. I didn’t trust him or anyone who worked with him so I could’ve been taken out if I got caught slipping even for a moment.
“So what did you come to do, since you’ve made it clear that it isn’t to talk?” he said.
I stood there remaining quiet, still contemplating whether this was the right thing to do. There wasn’t anything I wanted more in life than to make him pay. Deep down I thought this very moment would feel better. I thought that it would give me the same adrenaline rush as all of the other murders had but surprisingly it did not. People were all around the club, and it was almost as if no one even noticed what was going on. If they had, they played it off extremely well. After a few more moments, I pulled the gun out of my pocket and pointed it at his chest. A few people scattered all over while some ducked under chairs and tables. I heard screams, but I tuned them out to remain focused on the matter at hand. He didn’t even try to save his own life. He didn’t apologize. He did nothing but stare at me.
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