Chapter Thirty-five
Bulletproof
Desire
I’d been walking around with a bulletproof vest for months because I feared for my life. Now this was yet another reason to keep me on edge. He was sure to order my murder now that he had thirty more days to live. I was shaking as I made it out of the building. Looking around I didn’t see either of the two men who had been in the witness area. I briskly walked to my car and once inside grabbed my cell, which was tucked inside of the armrest. I also retrieved my gun and placed it on my lap. I dialed the only person I knew could provide comfort when my nerves were doing jumping jacks all over my body.
“Hey, I was waiting to hear from you. Is it over?” Lamar asked.
“It didn’t happen. They gave him a stay,” I replied as calmly as I could.
“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me!” he yelled. “Tell me this shit isn’t true,” he said in a muffled tone. I could tell that he was just as nervous as I was.
“I wish I were, Lamar. What are we gonna do? I almost shit my pants when that phone rang. I know he’s going to have someone after me,” I said as my voice shuddered.
Tears had begun rolling down both of my checks and landing on top of the gun in my lap.
“Where are you now?” he asked, keeping his composure.
“In the car still sitting outside of the prison. I’m afraid to go home,” I said before wiping the tears off of my cheeks.
“Come to my house. I’ll meet you there. Do you have your gun with you?”
“Right on my lap,” I said, glancing down at my Glock then back out into the parking lot.
“Okay, see you soon. If you see any funny shit, call me.”
“Okay. Lamar, I love you.”
“I love you too. Everything is gonna work out I promise you.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
I looked around the parking lot once more before pulling out. Being a police officer, I was always watching my back even when I was off duty. Being in a relationship with a drug kingpin, or any criminal for that matter, definitely makes you more conscious of your surroundings. I was taught that there was always an enemy lurking just waiting for you to slip. Most nights I slept restlessly, always wondering when the next home invasion would occur. My hands were sweating as I sped up the highway trying to make it to Lamar. I always felt safe when I was with him even though he had just as many if not more enemies than Dontay. He could wrap his arms around me and make all of my fears and insecurities evaporate into thin air. Lamar was special, unlike any man I’d ever known, and I was drawn to him like a magnet.
I’d met Lamar while he was attending the police academy. We were extremely close, but more like sister and brother. We’d only known each other for about six months, but he’d become my friend and confidant. He was fine, but not little boy fine. I mean grown man fine like Idris Elba with his bow-legged sexy ass! I loved chocolate men, and if they had a great body and smelled good, I was like putty in their hands. Unfortunately, he was engaged at the time we met and as happy as you’d expect him to be. Instead of impeding, I lusted for him from a distance.
I learned early on about his relationship to Dontay while chatting with him about my past relationships. You could imagine the shock when he told me. He despised him just as much as I did, if not more. After he and his fiancée separated, I’d hoped that there could be a chance for us. I knew how he felt about it, but I honestly didn’t care. He was as close to perfect as one could be. He was caring, passionate, and always went out of his way to make his woman happy. I can admit that I was happy when he didn’t get married, since she didn’t appreciate him anyway. Just as he’d always been a shoulder for me to cry on, I was there to support him. I wanted to be the friend he needed. At this moment, I needed him to be my savior and ensure me that everything was going to be okay.
I was extremely jumpy on the drive. Every pothole and every unexpected bump made me grip my gun a little tighter. The cold steel against my skin somehow made me feel more secure. I arrived in the driveway of Lamar’s Main Line home in just under three hours. I hurried out of the car and rang the bell. Lamar swung open the door shirtless in a pair of lounge pants with a .45 in his right hand. Just like me, he was paranoid.
“Hey, you okay?” he said, reaching out his arms and pulling me into a hug.
I immediately burst into tears. He backed into the foyer and closed the door while still holding on to me tightly. I didn’t want him to let go. I knew that the end for both of us would be nearing as long as Dontay was alive.
“What am I gonna do, Lamar? I’m really scared. I thought today would finally end it all and help put the past behind me.” I tried to wipe away the tears from my face. Mascara was smeared all over my hands.
“I’m going to take care of it,” he said.
“How, Lamar? By running for the rest of your life?” I screamed. I wasn’t angry with him, but I was angry that I’d allowed my heart to land me in this situation.
“I’m not running. I never have! I’m far from a bitch nigga, and I’ll take out every muthafucker he sends my way. I understand you’re upset, but I’ve never been afraid of him. We might share the same DNA, but I’ll take his ass out in a heartbeat if I ever get the chance to,” he yelled while pacing the floor.
“Lamar,” I yelled trying to get him to focus and calm down. He was rubbing the gun against his head as he continued to walk back and forth. “Lamar!” I yelled again. When he refused to answer me, I walked over and grabbed him.
“I’m thinking, D, I’m thinking,” he said, staring into my eyes.
“What about your uncle? Have you called him?” I asked.
I thought that his uncle could help. His uncle had run with his father, Jimmy Black, who was once one of the most feared drug kingpins in the city. Back in the seventies and eighties, his name was synonymous with the Philly drug trade. You couldn’t speak about a nigga getting money without mentioning his reign. The one thing that he did almost as well as he ran the streets was run through women. He had more than ten children by just as many women. He only married one of them, Lamar’s mother, Theresa. Lamar was close to most of his siblings, except for Dontay, better known as Don. Their rivalry was always over pure hate. Dontay could never get over his father walking out on them. When I met Lamar, he was pretty mum about his brother. Immediately I was attracted to Lamar, and once I learned they were siblings, I understood why. He had some of the same qualities that Dontay did. Once I told Lamar about my on-again, off-again relationship with Dontay, he pretty much let me know that we could never have a relationship.
The two hated each other even more once Dontay murdered their father in cold blood. Lamar went on a path of revenge that ultimately landed both him and Dontay in prison. Eventually Dontay learned about my relationship with Lamar, and it was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do when Dontay ordered me to cut ties with him. I still loved him, and deep down, I always wanted to be with him. I became an enemy when I assisted in getting Dontay arrested for good. Now, you might ask why I’d do it. The answer to that is simple. I learned that Dontay was behind my brother’s death, and there wasn’t any ring or marriage license that could keep me there after that. The fact that he hadn’t even accepted responsibility only made it easier to walk away. With Lamar by my side, we’d done the unthinkable. We’d not only snitched, but also aided in his arrest and prosecution. I used everything that I knew. I nearly lost my badge in doing so, but I didn’t care. He needed to pay for what he’d done. Not only to my family, but every other victim as well.
After ten minutes of silence, Lamar finally stopped pacing and sat down on the sofa. I’d since sat down and watched, waiting on him to tell me what we were going to do next.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I am now that I’m here with you,” I said with puppy dog eyes. I was honestly a nervous wreck.
“Okay, you’re gonna stay here for a few days until I figure things out. I’m going to make som
e calls in the morning. I’ll set up the guest room for you, okay?” he said as he kissed me on the cheek and got up from the sofa.
I watched him walk up the stairs and remained quiet. I needed to trust that he knew what he was doing. After a few minutes, he called me upstairs, where I met him at the guestroom.
“Do I really have to sleep in here? Can I just sleep with you? I’ll sleep way on the other side,” I said. We’d slept together just two nights prior, and he’d been acting weird ever since.
“I’m right next door,” he replied with a forced smile.
“Listen, I know you’re not comfortable with what happened the other night, and I’ll never bring it up again if that’s what you want, but I’m afraid, Lamar. I just need to know that you’re by my side or I’ll never get any sleep,” I pleaded with fear written all across my face. Regardless of how much I wanted him to make love to me I wouldn’t push because I needed my friend more.
“All right come on,” he agreed.
I followed him into his lavish bedroom. I removed my shoes, pants, and bulletproof vest but kept on my shirt. We climbed into his king-sized sleigh bed and positioned ourselves on opposite ends of the bed. After an hour of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do. I was scared to death thinking that soon both of our lives would be over.
We were both blessed when we learned that there was a paperwork error and it was now corrected. His execution was rescheduled. Again, I made it there and sat and watched, this time with Lamar by my side. As the clock counted down, I closed my eyes while I prayed that nothing would stop this. Finally, the machine started pumping the poison into his veins, and shortly thereafter, he took his last breath. I felt the biggest relief at that moment, knowing that I could finally breathe.
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Carl Weber’s Kingpins: Philadelphia
Copyright © 2016 Brittani Williams
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Carl Weber's Kingpins Page 18