by Graysen Blue
“Fuck—I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to pry into your personal shit, September. I just had to make sure that boy . . . uh, didn’t pressure you into something like that.”
This conversation needs to get back on track.
“I understand. I mean Austin and I made out and all, I’m not gonna lie about that, and he expected he was gonna get lucky, but I flat out told him no way. I guess he thought I should put out since Casey was paying for our date and all.”
I can see that he is pissed.
Royally.
“Yeah, well don’t you worry about Miss Casey. She’s history as far as I’m concerned,” he replies with a quiet assurance. “I don’t hold with a conniving woman, and I especially don’t care for someone who is in my business as much as she seems to be these days.”
“I only went out with Austin because I thought maybe I was making it difficult for you and her to have a . . . relationship. I mean me being around here 24/7 like I am; I guess it kinda cramps your style.”
“Hey,” he replies, brushing a lock of my hair back behind my ear. “I invited you here, remember? This is your home for the summer. I’m gonna clue Casey in right now about that. And as far as your mother goes, I’ll be contacting the authorities in Nogales—that’s where her last recorded address is listed, and see what I can find out. Once we know for sure, then you, me and Scout will deal with it, okay?”
“Okay,” I squeak out, nodding.
“Now until we know the facts and have confirmed them, let’s not say anything to your grandparents, okay? There’s no sense in alarming them if this turns out to be bogus information.”
“I agree.”
“And I’m not saying a word to Scout, either.”
“I think that’s best,” I reply.
“Okay then. So, do you feel like getting a little something to eat?”
“Is Casey still here?” I ask, flashing a frown.
“Not for much longer. Why don’t you get washed up? I’ll see to it that she leaves. Don’t worry.”
“Okay then,” I reply getting up. “I’ll go wash my face. No sense in having Scout think that there’s something wrong before we know for sure that there is.”
“Good girl,” he replies, giving me a last squeeze. “See you in a few.”
From inside the bathroom, I can hear Jesse’s raised voice telling Casey to get the hell outta his house and to keep her goddamn nose out of his business. Seconds later, the front door slams loudly.
I smile as I pat my freshly washed face dry, thinking how much better it’s gonna be not having that bitch underfoot anymore.
Chapter 11
* * *
It took about two weeks, but Jesse finally got some information back from the State Department, who had contacted the Mexican consulate in order to get confirmation about my mother.
The information wasn’t good. She apparently had passed away in a Mexican prison under a different name awaiting trial on some sort of drug-smuggling charge. The photo on her government-issued passport had been the only means of identifying her.
Being that she had passed away in Mexico, no concerted effort had been made by Mexican authorities to try and locate next-of-kin. Their story was that she had been arrested trying to cross back over into the U.S. by way of Nogales, with a man claiming to be her husband. The Federales had been watching them for some time, when they caught up to them. They were searched, based on a tip, and found that she was in possession of a significant amount of liquid cocaine. The man had been clean. He was a Mexican national by the name of Juan Martinique. He hadn’t been detained, but she had been taken into custody and arrested.
Her purported husband had left her to rot in a Mexican prison for nearly a year. The death certificate stated that Elizabeth Martinez, having no known next-of-kin, had died of natural causes a little more than six months ago. The record showed that her remains had been cremated and spread in a pauper’s field somewhere in Mexico.
DNA evidence had been taken before her cremation, and turned over to the State Department once Jesse started digging into the circumstances surrounding her death.
He was asked to provide DNA samples from both Scout and me for testing, so hair samples from each of us were taken.
He took the opportunity to sit down with Scout and explain why we had to do this—that there was a possibility that her mother had passed away. Scout didn’t have all that much of a recollection of Mama anymore.
Jesse had sent the samples off to the lab as instructed. He received a letter back the following week that said it would take eight to ten weeks for the results of the analysis to come in.
In the meantime, all we can do is wait and see.
In my heart, I don’t want to believe that it is her. I want it to be all some crazy mistake, but it does explain why we’ve never heard from her if she was locked up, and then died like that I guess.
I’ve come to admire Jesse even more over these past couple of weeks; I can see that he feels a genuine sadness when we talk about the situation. I can tell that he still holds out hope in some small way that Mama isn’t gone from our lives forever—for whatever reason. And it makes me curious.
Jesse’s not ignorant by any means. In any other situation, a man that had been done like that would’ve hated Mama, wasted no time in filing for a divorce a year after she left for desertion which could’ve been done quite easily. But he has never done that which puzzles me.
I mean it’s not like he’s been hung up on her; he simply doesn’t talk about her, yet when the subject is brought up about divorcing her, he avoids it.
Jessie did call my grandparents in Meridian once he learned the news. They didn’t take it well he said, but it’s gonna take time for all us to come to terms with it and heal.
It’s now the first of August and things are starting to get back to normal again. Jesse returned to work more than a week ago. Scout and Catherine still play, but Casey stays inside, evidently not happy with the fact that Jesse wants nothing to do with her.
I’m not privy to the particulars, but Scout filled me in on them one evening while I was washing her hair.
“Catherine says that her mom is mad at Dad because he doesn’t believe her.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. She said Dad told her mom to get out of our house and not come back.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh. Catherine said her mom started crying and called him on his phone and told him she was only trying to help because you asked her to. Did you?”
“No, honey,” I reply, rinsing the suds out of her dark hair. “I didn’t.”
“I guess that’s what Dad told her too. Then she called you a damn liar. Catherine heard her say that when she was on the phone with Dad.”
“She did?”
“Uh huh. But Catherine doesn’t know what Dad said back to her but whatever it was, it made Casey start crying really bad.”
“Oh wow,” I reply. “Is Catherine upset?”
“Naw. We’re still allowed to play except we’re not allowed to go into each other’s houses according to Dad.”
“Are you sad about that?”
She shrugs, taking a moment to consider it. “Not really. Once school starts, I’ll make more friends that I can have over, and they’ll be allowed to come into the house.”
“You sure will,” I tell her, giving her hair a final rinse. “All done. Let’s dry you off.”
“September?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have to leave?”
“What’d ya mean?”
“Can’t you stay here and go to school here? I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, booger-butt.”
She giggles at my use of the nickname I’ve given her.
“Then please stay.”
“Oh Scout—that’s up to Jesse. You’d have to see if it’s okay with him.”
“I’m gonna ask him if you can stay.”
“You do that,” I reply, taking a towel to her wet hair. “If he agrees that he wants me to stay then I will stay, I promise.”
“I love you, September.”
“I love you too, Scout.”
Chapter 12
* * *
Scout didn’t waste any time in going to Jesse and asking him to not let me leave; she wants me here with them.
He came to my room as I’m folding my laundry, putting it away.
“Hey,” he says. “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure.” I turn my attention to him and I can’t help but admire his deep, rich tan. The sun has put some brownish highlights in his thick dark hair, and he’s wearing it a bit shorter than he has in the past, but I love the way it still fringes out around his neck with his ball cap on.
“How would you feel about staying here . . . with us?” he asks, his eyes glued to mine. “I know Scout is dying for you to, and well, to be honest, I’ve come to depend on you for so much. You’ve been a big help to us, September—and you’re family, too. But I don’t want you thinking that’s the only reason I’m asking you to stay—I want it to be something that you want too.”
My heart skips several beats as I pretend to give his invitation some thought. “Well—if I’m needed and all, well then of course I want to stay. Will you speak to Gram about it?”
“Now you’re sure about this, right?”
“This feels like home. You guys are my family too.”
He gives me a warm smile and I’m mesmerized by it because Jesse doesn’t smile all that often. He’s got even white teeth that flash against his tanned skin. “That’s great. I’ll give Ruth a call. I’m hoping she doesn’t take issue with it being the bad news they’ve already received. I think she’s gonna want to talk to you once I let her know you want to stay, so you stick close by, hear?”
Gram and Grandpa are not thrilled about me staying on, but they don’t fight it because they know I’m needed here. By the end of the week, they’ve driven to Fort Smith, bringing me the bulk of my belongings, along with some new school clothes for Scout.
They take us both shopping for school supplies, and I buy some new things for school from the money I’ve earned this summer from Jesse.
They talk to Jesse about planning some sort of a memorial service for my mother, and wonder if he wants it in Fort Smith or Meridian. Gram says she can’t stand the thought of not having a grave or a head stone even though she’s not buried anywhere. She feels it’s a sign of respect for the dead.
Jesse tells her Meridian would be best since that’s where she was raised. I can tell they’re pleased with that, and they let him know they will get back with him once they’ve made the preparations and ordered the head stone. Gram wants an obit put in the local newspaper back home announcing the services since she did have friends there and all.
“I know she never done right by you or the kids, Jesse, and I’m a might sorry about that, but I thank you for keeping us as family just the same.” Gram hugs him long and hard, and Grandpa shakes his hand, having a tear or two in his eyes.
They hug and kiss both Scout and me before they begin their journey back to Meridian where things will be kinda lonely for them for a while, but in time, I know they will adjust.
I am where I want to be and where I’m needed. And hopefully, not too far off down the road, Jesse will realize just how much more he needs me in a much different way.
Chapter 13
* * *
I start my senior year at Washington High School and immediately I am made to feel at home.
Of course, being the new girl in the class brings quite a bit of attention to me which of course, I don’t mind at all.
I have met a couple of girls right off the bat that I know will be my buds for life: Missy and Shayla. They’ve filled me in quickly on the social scene at the school, whom to hang with and whom to avoid. Missy dates a college freshman, which I think is pretty cool and tell her so. They have both asked about my current situation with respect to having a boyfriend.
“Had one back in Meridian, but I broke things off with him before I came to Arkansas for the summer. I hooked up with a dude here over the summer, but you know, it was just about the sex.”
I can tell they are impressed with my total nonchalance about the situation.
“What about now?” Shayla asks. “Got your eye on anyone local? Want us to fix you up?”
“Naw—I’m good. I’ve got my eye on a dude but he’s out of school.”
“College dude?” Missy asks. “They seriously rock.”
“Older than that,” is my reply. I’m not giving them any details just yet and luckily they don’t press for more at the moment. I have shared with them that I’m living with my stepfather and half-sister, and that my mom has passed away, but I don’t give them the specifics on that either.
I’m not a person that likes to put my business all out there like that, and they’ve pretty much figured that out. Missy is all about telling anyone everything about herself; Shayla is a bit more reserved, like me.
We’re all in a routine now at home.
Jesse leaves for work around seven. I get Scout ready for school and her bus picks her up at 7:45. My bus picks me up at eight, and then Shayla drops me off so that I can beat Scout home by about twenty minutes.
“Don’t you have your driver’s license?” Shayla asks one afternoon on the way home.
“Long story. I had my learner’s permit back in Mississippi and finished my Driver’s Ed training, but I left to come here before I ever took the final driving test. I guess it doesn’t matter since I don’t have a car.”
“Maybe you can work on step-daddy there to get you one,” she says with a devilish grin.
“Maybe I will,” I reply, returning the devilish grin.
Chapter 14
* * *
The weeks seem to have flown by since the start of the school year. It’s the third week of September and the air is starting to get just a hint of fall chill in the evenings. It’s getting darker sooner than before—a sure sign.
I feel all nested in at Jesse’s—taking care of Scout and doing domestic things around the house almost as if I am the wife instead of the stepdaughter.
Jesse’s been working some wicked hours, leaving at seven in the morning and sometimes not getting in until after eight o’clock at night. I always keep his supper warming for him and he seems genuinely pleased about that.
Catherine isn’t coming over nearly as much to get Scout outside now that they’re back in school. Catherine attends elementary school in another district on account of Casey being a teacher there. It’s just as well as far as I’m concerned. Scout’s meeting some new third grade friends and one of them lives just down the street she’s discovered.
I’ve passed Casey coming and going and I always smile and greet her. The most she does in return is to give me an almost inaudible grunt and then she quickly looks away.
Fuck the hag. Before long, I’ll be having what she had—only I’ll be having much more of it.
Tonight I already have Scout’s homework checked; she’s had her shower and is already asleep before Jesse gets home. It’s a little after nine o’clock.
“Sorry so late,” he says, pulling his ball cap off and hanging it on the peg by the back door. “Scout in bed?”
“Yep—’bout a half hour now. I’ll get your plate.”
“Hold on a sec. Before you do that, I want you to come outside. I had someone follow me home and they left something in the driveway that you need to see.”
He can see my puzzled expression, but he makes no attempt to offer up any further explanation. So I follow him outside, and he switches the side porch light on so that I can get a full view of a shiny red Honda Civic that’s sitting right behind his truck.
My eyes fly quickly to his, not wanting to presume anything that might make me feel like a fool in front of this man. This totally awesome and seriously beautiful man.
“Hap
py Birthday, September.”
I feel my eyes widen and a wall-to-wall grin spreads over my face. “Oh my God!” I scream, jumping off the stoop and running over to it, “I can’t believe you did this for me! Oh my God! A car! My car?”
He’s laughing now, a rare occurrence for sure. “Of course your car—who else’s car would it be?”
“Oh Jesse,” I gasp, still feeling like I’m on a high that I’ve never known before and one where he’s right there with me. “This is too much. This is way too much!”
“It’s from me and from your grandparents,” he explains. “We agreed when they were here that you really need some wheels of your own. So they paid for half of it.”
“But my birthday isn’t until Saturday,” I say, and then wonder why the hell that makes any difference.
“I know when your birthday is,” he replies, “But I just couldn’t wait. I had to see your face when you saw it tonight.” And in that moment he seems like a kid himself.
I run to him and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and savoring the feeling of closeness we have, and for this occasion, I know that it’s a perfectly appropriate reaction. His arms encircle me and he hugs me back.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I repeat over and over, and beyond him I can see the curtains part in Casey’s kitchen and she looks out upon the both of us, taking in the whole scene, including my new car.
I catch her eye and give her a big smile. She turns quickly away and closes the curtains.
“Now,” he says, releasing his arms from me too soon. “This is a used car, but it’s been well-maintained, and it only has a little over a hundred thousand miles on it. If you keep it maintained, you can easily double or triple that, so it’s gonna teach you some responsibility too. There’s more to maintaining a vehicle than just putting gas and oil into it, hear?”
“Yes, Jesse.”
He’s on a roll. “There are periodic oil changes, tire rotation and alignment, tune-ups, brake inspections, and I’ll be here to teach you how to keep it on a good maintenance schedule.”