The sermon was on God’s forgiveness and the pastor had hardly uttered three sentences before she realized she couldn’t carry her grudge against Seth. She had to forgive him but that didn’t mean everything would be the same between them again. She couldn’t risk letting her defenses down a second time.
“Hi, Trina,” someone said after the closing song, tapping her on the shoulder.
She turned to find Ethan giving her an enormous grin. “Hi, Ethan. It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too. I almost didn’t recognize you with your hair like that. Are you going somewhere special?”
“Neh,” she said and then repeated, “No. I’m not going anywhere special.”
“Good. Then you’ll let me give you a ride home?”
After confirming she didn’t have special plans, Trina had no choice but to accept Ethan’s offer. “Thank you. That would be nice,” she agreed.
On the way they chatted about what brought them to Willow Creek. “My grandparents were Mennonites, so I’ve always had an interest in Mennonite and Amish culture and beliefs,” Ethan explained. “I knew this is where I wanted to practice medicine. I mostly see patients in Willow Creek and one day a week I volunteer at the Highland Springs clinic for the Amish. How about you? Why did you relocate to Willow Creek?”
“I didn’t,” Trina said. “I mean, I’m only staying here for a couple of months because—oh, it’s a long story, but I have to live here for sixty days before I can inherit the house my mother grew up in. She was Amish. Anyway, once my time is up, I’m selling the house and moving back to Philly.”
“I just left Philly!” Ethan exclaimed. “That’s where my fiancée lives. She’ll be joining me after our wedding in June. It’s a great city, but I prefer the country life here, don’t you?”
“I’m becoming accustomed to it,” Trina admitted, relieved to hear Ethan was engaged. So, his interest in her was merely because she was a new resident like he was, and nothing more. “I especially enjoy walking by the creek, knowing it’s where my mother once walked.”
“Can you believe I’ve been in Willow Creek for over two months and I still haven’t seen the creek the town is named after?”
Trina impulsively suggested, “Oh, you’ll have to take a look, then. It runs behind the property near my house.”
As they were strolling by the banks of the creek a few minutes later, Trina heard a sound. “I recognize those voices,” she said.
“Voices? I only heard something growl.”
Trina laughed. “It’s the two boys I care for during the day. They like to pretend they’re animals. If I’m not mistaken, they’re being bears again.”
Just then, Tanner and Timothy pounced out at Trina and Ethan from behind a rock. “Rrroar!” they thundered.
“Look, it’s a pair of grizzlies!” Ethan declared good-naturedly.
“Guder nammidaag, buwe,” Trina greeted them. “Stand up on your hind legs now. I want to introduce you to my friend, Ethan Gray. He’s a doctor, so you might go to his office one day when you’re sick and he’ll make you feel better.”
“Animals don’t go to doctors. They go to vegetarians,” Timothy said wisely, cracking Ethan up. After they told Ethan their names, Trina asked them if they were walking with Martha.
“Neh. We’re with Daed and Emma,” Timothy answered.
Trina’s stomach did a flip and she suddenly felt dejected. But after what she’d learned yesterday about Seth’s feelings—or lack of feelings—toward her, why should she care if she bumped into him and some new woman he was apparently courting?
“Timothy, Tanner!” Seth’s voice cut through the crisp air. “Where are you?”
“We’re here with Trina,” Tanner bellowed back.
“What have I told you about staying within my sight near the creek?” Seth asked the boys before greeting Trina or Ethan. “If you wander off again, we’ll have to march right back to the house and you won’t be able to return for an entire week.”
“Sorry, Daed.” The boys hung their heads.
“Oh, look, it’s Dr. Gray,” a young woman said when she caught up with Seth. She had light blond hair and a sturdy, feminine shape. Her skin was so pink and her face so full it looked like she literally had apples in her cheeks. No doubt she was just the kind of healthy, patient, sensible woman Seth was looking for.
“Emma...Lamp, isn’t it?” Ethan asked.
“Jah. What a gut memory.” Emma even had dimples when she smiled. She was the picture of Amish benevolence. “Seth Helmuth, have you met Dr. Gray? He took care of my brother when he came down with a nasty flu.”
“Please, call me Ethan.” The doctor smiled. Trina noticed Ethan didn’t extend his hand to shake; apparently, he knew the customs already. To Emma he said, “How is Thomas doing?”
“He’s better than ever before. Tormenting our sisters and chasing them around the barn.”
“Glad to hear it. I assume you know Trina Smith?” Ethan asked, gesturing toward her.
“Only by reputation,” Emma said, smiling. “The moment I walked through the door, the buwe showed me games you taught them. They’re very fond of you.”
Oh, no. Emma was nice as well as sweet and pretty. “I’m fond of them, too,” Trina said. She could hardly look in Seth’s direction, lest she see his fondness for Emma in his eyes. Or worse, his disdain for Trina.
“Looks like we’re going in opposite directions, so we’ll keep walking,” Seth said. “Now, where did those two scamper off to?”
“I believe they’re in the den to our right, up ahead,” Emma said, motioning toward a large rock the boys had covered with sticks and fern. Trina had to give it to her, she was playing along with their games well. As if reading Trina’s thoughts, Emma winked at her and said, “I’ve got a brother and two little sisters around their age at home.”
Wow, she must have been really young herself to have siblings that age! Trina felt glum all the way back to the house so she was happy when Ethan accepted her invitation for tea and dessert. At least he seemed to like her. Granted, he appeared to like her the way a big brother would, which made her feel embarrassed she’d ever suspected him of being interested in dating her.
“I don’t know, Trina,” he said slowly before leaving. “Willow Creek is awfully beautiful. Are you sure you want to leave it behind for Philly?”
“I’m sure,” she said.
* * *
On the way home from dropping off Emma, Seth felt sick to his stomach and his palms were sweaty. It wasn’t nervousness. Not about Emma, anyway. No, it was easy to be around her. She was pleasant, lighthearted and she got along well with the boys. But she was also young. Too young. It wasn’t that she was immature, exactly, but in a way her youthful innocence made Seth feel as if he had another child in his care. Halfway through the afternoon he decided to tell Belinda Imhoff he’d made a mistake and he’d give a courtship with Fannie Jantzi one more try.
But for now, he had to apologize to Trina and it was unnerving him like nothing ever had before. Bumping into her in the woods had been uncomfortable and he wished he hadn’t seen her with Ethan. An Englisch pediatrician. Who could be better for Trina? Together they’d make the perfect couple, with her teaching children and him healing them. Seth should have been happy that she’d found a friend in Willow Creek. A boyfriend, even—someone who might be a good match. But he wasn’t happy. And the fact he wasn’t happy was unsettling. Furthermore, he was doubly upset because he had to apologize to her and he didn’t know if she’d accept his apology.
She’d hardly glanced his way in the woods, although for his part he’d noticed she wore her hair in a neat bun. With her face framed by its softness, her cheekbones looked less severe and her eyes stood out even more. Seth shook his head. How could he have been so boorish as to imply she looked like a scarecrow? He’d never found any Englischer so attractive before. No
t simply because of her eyes and height and the way she carried herself, but because of the way her character manifested itself through her physical traits. It pained him to think she thought of him as heartless.
He took extra care stabling his horse, procrastinating before he crossed the yard to Trina’s house. Instead of inviting him in when he asked to speak to her, she stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her. She wasn’t wearing a coat; he’d have to make this quick.
“I’ve kumme to apologize. I’m truly sorry for breaking your picture frame,” he began. “But I’m even sorrier for hurting you. I shouldn’t have implied you’re overly concerned with possessions. Later, when I thought things over, I realized I just said that because I...I was trying to do something helpful for you and instead I broke your frame. I felt like such a klutz that I somehow turned things around and tried to pin the blame on you for valuing a possession instead of acknowledging I’d ruined something that was special to you.”
Trina didn’t say anything until she’d walked past him and stood by the railing of the porch, gazing at the sky. “I don’t own many material things, but the picture frame was a gift from my mamm.”
Seth was quiet, sensing he needed to give her time to say her piece before she forgave him.
“She gave it to me the Christmas before she became ill. She’d bought it at the Cape—Cape Cod, in Massachusetts. I don’t know how she could have afforded it, but—” Trina choked and a sob escaped her lips.
Seth walked to her, removed his coat and draped it around her shoulders. “What is one of your favorite memories of being at Cape Cod with your mother?” he asked.
Trina sniffed and gestured out toward the lawn, as if remembering the ocean. “We loved to get up early in the morning and go to the beach before anyone else arrived. There were these little tiny birds called sandpipers that ran along the edge of the surf. They were so quick they made us laugh.” Trina wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and added wryly, “You wouldn’t like them, they looked like they were in a hurry.”
Seth chortled. “I’m sorry for saying that, too. I know not all Englischers are in a hurry.”
“Most of them are. I don’t disagree with you on that,” Trina said. “But I’m not.”
“And I’m not heartless,” Seth said, quietly but firmly. “But I understand that your groossdaadi acted that way to your mamm.”
“Oh, Seth!” Trina exclaimed, angling sideways to look at him again. “I’m so sorry I said that. You have a bigger heart than any man I know. The amount of love and care you show for Timothy and Tanner—and for Martha, too—well, I’ve never seen a man demonstrate anything like it.”
From the way his heart was battering his ribs, Seth was sure Trina could hear it. He replied, “And I’m sorry for implying you look like a scarecrow.”
“Well, I have lost a lot of weight this past year and those seh of yours can make me look pretty disheveled by the end of the day.”
Neh. You’re the best sight I see at the end of my day, Seth thought. It was a bold sentiment and he was in a dangerous position to think such a thing, much less to say it. He didn’t, of course, but neither did he stop looking at her. There was something about her lips that made them seem as irresistible as the taste of funny cake. Yet he had to resist. She was an Englischer, like Freeman’s wife. In a throaty voice he said, “Jah, my sons can have that effect on a person. But you don’t look disheveled now. I like your hair like that.”
“Denki.” Trina lifted her hand to the nape of her neck and turned back toward the lawn in one graceful motion. She paused before playfully referencing her angry remark from the previous day, “Anyway, if you’re willing, I’d still like you to fix my stupid walls.”
“Jah, I’m still willing to fix the stupid walls in your stupid house,” he said and they both laughed.
But he wasn’t laughing later that night in bed. He was agonizing over how much he had longed to kiss an Englischer. It was forbidden by the Ordnung, but even if it weren’t, it was forbidden by him, personally. His family had already paid dearly for allowing one Englischer into their lives, and Kristine had claimed she was going to become Amish. Trina made no such promise; on the contrary, she was leaving in a matter of weeks.
If only Seth had been ashamed and regretful that he wanted to kiss her, he could confess and be done with it. But the sorry truth was, he may have been ashamed of it, but he still wished to kiss Trina.
That’s lecherich, he thought. I’d never do such a thing. Never!
Besides, for all he could guess, Trina was interested in Ethan. Seth knew the best way to rid his mind of fanciful thoughts about her was to keep squarely focused on courting an Amish woman, and before falling asleep he decided he’d definitely invite Fannie and her daughters to the house for supper at the first opportunity.
Chapter Six
As pleased as Trina was that she and Seth had cleared the air, she was unnerved by what had transpired—or nearly transpired—between them. It was one thing for him to give her his coat; that was a gallant gesture, but one he would have made to Martha, as well as to any woman who was cold. But the way he’d looked at her before he told her he liked her hair... She wasn’t misinterpreting the ardor of his expression, was she? Don’t be silly, she told herself. I was wrong about Ethan’s intentions and I’m probably wrong about Seth’s, too.
Not that it mattered much. She was Englisch and he was Amish, so there was no possibility of any romantic relationship between them. She didn’t want one, either. Alright, perhaps she wanted one a little. Perhaps she wanted him to kiss her instead of just look like he wanted to kiss her. But that was inconceivable. It was permissible to be friends with him and to care for his children, but after all Patience had gone through to raise her daughter as an Englischer, Trina felt disloyal to her mamm’s memory for even entertaining thoughts of kissing an Amish man. Besides, Seth was courting Emma. That was serious; that was for the explicit purpose of pursuing a marriage relationship. It wasn’t just some passing infatuation.
Trina knew what she needed to do was to call a few realtors and start preparing to sell the house. She couldn’t officially put it on the market until May, but she decided she should probably get the ball rolling. The sooner it sold, the sooner she could go back to Philly. The summer months were always the best hiring times for new teachers, so she didn’t want to miss those opportunities.
For the rest of the week, Trina wore her hair up in a ponytail again because she felt too self-conscious to be reminded of Seth’s compliment. She went out of her way to focus their discussions on the boys whenever she was with Seth, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he also seemed to limit their conversations to the weather or his sons. And on Saturday evening, when they all traveled to the Englisch store in Highland Springs, Trina sat in the back with the boys on the way there. On the way back, however, Martha insisted she take the front seat next to Seth.
Trina kept her arm tight to her side so she wouldn’t inadvertently bump into him as the buggy wiggled toward home. They were quiet for a while as Martha and the boys chatted in the back until the silence between them felt unnatural.
“It’s getting warmer. I hardly need this blanket any longer.” Trina referenced the wool blanket on her lap, at a loss for what else to discuss.
“Oh, here, I can put it in the back for you if you’re too hot,” Seth replied.
His hand grazed Trina’s knee as he reached for it. At the same time, Trina tried to grab it, saying, “Neh, that’s okay. I just meant the weather is changing.” Their hands collided on her lap and they both immediately pulled back. Trina’s arm buzzed as if she’d touched an electric fence.
“Jah, spring will be here soon,” Seth blandly remarked. “I mean, I know it’s here on the calendar, but it will be here in the weather, too.”
Trina giggled nervously. This conversation was becoming more ridiculous by the sentence. “I’m almo
st to the end of my fourth week here. Do you know anyone who wants to buy a house?” she joked nervously.
“I wish I did.” Seth’s comment disappointed Trina. Was she expecting him to say he was sorry to see her go—if not for his sake, then for the boys’? He continued, “That way I’d know who our neighbors were before they moved in.”
“Isn’t part of being neighborly taking time to get to know the people living next door?” Trina wondered aloud. As soon as she asked the question she worried if it sounded flirtatious, which wasn’t her intention.
“Jah, I suppose you’re right,” Seth allowed. “I only meant I’d like to know in general if they’re Englisch or Amish so I could put up a fence ahead of time if necessary.”
Now Trina was annoyed. “Don’t tell me, the fence would keep the Englisch out of your yard.” And out of your life, she thought. “Has having me for a neighbor been that bad?”
Although he kept his eyes on the road, Seth emphatically shook his head. “Neh, I didn’t mean it like that. I’d want to build a fence to keep the kinner in. If the neighbors are Englisch and they have cars, I don’t want the kinner running over there.”
Relaxing, Trina said, “The buwe are usually pretty gut about not going where they shouldn’t—unless they’re pretending to be wild creatures down by the creek.”
“It’s not Timothy and Tanner I’m worried about. It’s Fannie’s girls. They don’t seem to mind too well.”
Trina was too surprised to hold her tongue. “Fannie’s girls? What about Emma?” she asked. “I thought you were courting Emma.”
“Emma’s too young. Barely twenty,” Seth said.
So that was it, then? Emma didn’t work out so he simply defaulted to the better of his two choices and now he was already considering marriage with Fannie? “Wow. And you think Englischers are impatient,” she couldn’t help saying snidely under her breath.
“What?”
Quietly so no one else would hear, and staring straight ahead, Trina said, “You’ve been on what, two dates with Fannie and you’re already considering building a fence for her kinner? That must mean you plan to marry her. Even the Englisch don’t rush into marriage that quickly.”
Her New Amish Family Page 9