I didn’t do what I had promised to do. I failed my Ashlynn. The one man she feared the most and I didn’t protect her from him.
I closed my eyes as I held her hand and prayed. Her survival wasn’t up to anyone but God. No one else could help her, save my sweetheart. The only woman he created for me. I hit my knees and prayed that he didn’t take my angel. I would’ve gladly taken the bullet to protect her. I loved her more than my own life. We were just starting to build our life together. I had not had enough time with Ashlynn. I wanted to grow old with her not watch her, fight for her life. I might as well be dying with her because it felt like it. She was my life, the reason I get up in the morning. She was my reason for breathing.
“Please Ashlynn, please sweetheart, fight. I’ll make sure you never have to fight again. Please don’t let go. Please stay here with me. I love you so much. I’m so sorry I let you down.”
Chapter 28
~Cooper~
We pulled up to the hospital and they rushed her back. The ride to the hospital was the longest ride I’ve ever been on. I went up to fill out paperwork and to call McKoy and Grace. I called Beau too. I felt crushed and sat in the hallway crying. I didn’t care who sees, I didn’t care about anything. If I didn’t have Ashlynn, I didn’t have anything. I have waited all my life for Ashlynn. I finally get her and then she dies in my arms. I hit my knees and prayed with tears running down my face to please save my Ashlynn. Please God do not take her from me.
McKoy and Grace walked in what seemed like only minutes. Time seemed frozen right in that moment.
McKoy walked up to the nurses’ station. “Can you update me on Ashlynn Ellis’ condition, please? I’m her sister and need an update. I feel like a part of me is being ripped from my heart.”
“I have not been advised of her condition. I’m sure they’re doing everything they can to save her honey. I’ll see what I can find out for you.”
Grace and I came up behind McKoy and tried to calm her down. She was shaking and crying. “This can’t be happening. Ash and I have been together for as long as I can remember.”
I had no words to console her. Hell, I could barely keep myself together.
“I know McKoy, I love her too. She’ll pull through. She is a survivor and she’ll make it. She is the strongest person I know.” Grace crushed her in a hug and held her.
Dr. Moore came in the waiting room. “Can I talk to the family of Ashlynn Ellis?”
McKoy, Grace, Beau and I all went up to him. No one had any words to say. We just stand there scared to hear what he had to say.
“Ms. Ellis has some serious injuries. She was shot in the chest, but luckily missed her heart. It did puncture her lung but she should heal from it and be fine. She had internal bleeding from her spleen. We had to go in and remove it. Lastly, she has a concussion due to hitting her head. She is sleeping from the surgery and we will keep her sedated for a couple of days to give her body a chance to heal.”
“Is Ashlynn going to live? Please do anything you can to save her. She is my life, Doctor. When can I see her? I need to see her and see she is okay.”
“I assure you Mr………..”
“Mr. Brooks.”
“I’m doing everything to save Ms. Ellis. However, we are not out of the woods yet. Unfortunately, at this time, we can’t predict what is going to happen. We have to give medicine and her body a chance to rest and heal. At this point, I have done everything I can. It’s a waiting game. I wish I could guarantee her pulling through. I can allow you to come in the room as soon as we get her settled.”
Grace asked “What are the chances of her living, Dr. Moore? I don’t think you understand how much we need her here.”
“Ma’am, I am doing everything I can. I’m sorry I can’t give you more than that. I don’t like losing a patient. Right now all we can do is wait and pray.”
Dr. Moore walked out of the room. The group took a seat in a set of chairs and no words were spoken. I knew we all felt a sense of relief but still scared.
I looked over by the entrance to the room and stood back up. Dr. Moore was walking back in.
“Mr. Brooks, can I have a minute with you alone, please?”
We walked towards the corner of the waiting room and I just froze. Please do not tell me bad news.
“Mr. Brooks, I neglected to mention that right now we’re observing how the baby is handling everything. So far the fetus doesn’t seem stressed. Really in this horrible situation that is a miracle. The most we can ask for right now with the mother under so much stress is to keep her calm.”
I feel like I am going to faint. I grab the wall we are standing next to, to help prop me up. I just stand there speechless with my jaw dropped. I don’t know what to say. I can’t form a coherent sentence.
“Sir, are you all right?”
“Yes Dr. Moore. I had no idea she was pregnant. How far along is she?”
“The fetus is estimated to be eight weeks.”
I can’t take anymore news. I fall to my knees. The girls run over to me and try to console me. I was crying and had my hands covering my face.
“Not only did I fail my Ash, I also failed our baby. I did not keep her safe like I said I would. She is my life. I should have shot the bastard as soon as I got there. I was just hoping it was going to end another way.”
The doctor had already left the waiting room and we were shocked by the news.
McKoy smiles. “Ash is pregnant? Oh my God. She is going to be so happy.”
Grace spoke up, “She’s going to make it through this and she is going to hold ya’lls beautiful baby in her arms. Cooper, you could not have done anything to prevent this. Nick is a sick ass or should I say was a sick ass and no one would have known this was going to happen. Ashlynn would not want you to have those feelings of letting her down. She loves you more than her own life.”
I didn’t say anything but rather tried to calm myself down. I paced the floor and pull out my phone to look at the pictures of me and Ashlynn that I had taken over the months together. The silly faces she was making when we were waiting for our plane before I proposed to her. Even back to the first picture I took at the hotel when we were on the balcony looking over the water and the beach. The same beach that we were at just a month ago in complete excitement of planning of our future together and now she was in the hospital fighting to survive.
The group finally convinced me to walk with them to the cafeteria for some coffee and something to eat. No one was hungry, but they knew that Ashlynn would want them to try. I got a coffee and sat with the girls and Beau and watched them try to snack on some fruit.
They tried to make small talk about how they couldn’t believe Ashlynn was going to be the first to have a baby. They were sure it should have been McKoy first. They laughed about some old memories with Ashlynn throughout school and something about a moon tower. Beau must have known about that because he was laughing right along with the girls. I’d have to ask him about it later once my Ashlynn was okay. What if she is not all right? I tried to push that thought away from my mind, but it was hard. I knew it was a possibility.
We went back up to the ICU waiting room hoping to hear something.
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It was so late and everyone had left, but me. I promised to call everyone as soon as I knew something. I had done nothing but cry and cuss myself for not doing everything in my power to put Nick behind bars. I had hit my knees praying, kicked the walls. I even picked up chairs and threw them. I called nana and Neil and even their words didn’t help me. Nothing was helping me. Finally, a nurse came in and told me I could see my Ash. My eyes were so puffy and red from crying. I was a mess. I still hadn’t changed my clothes and Ashlynn’s blood was all over my shirt. I pulled myself together and acted as if Ashlynn would be sitting up the chair waiting for me. I knew that was not realistic but, I sure as hell hoped it was. I had to put on a strong face for her.
I walked in the ICU through the sliding glass doors. She looked so t
iny hooked up to the machine that was helping her breath. Ash had a tube in her mouth and I could hear it pushing air in her body. I heard the constant beeping of the machines and I tried to see what they all meant. All I comprehend were numbers displayed everywhere. I lightly grabbed her hand, the arm that was not all wrapped up. I saw the bruises all over her face and her arms. Everything else was covered in blankets or some kind of bandages. My poor sweetheart was covered in misery.
The nurse told me to not be afraid to talk to her. She said that there are medical studies that have shown that the patients can still hear even in an induced coma. She showed me the nurse button in case I needed her. She said for me to talk to her as if she was listening and then walked out of the room.
“Ash baby, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I am so sorry I didn’t save you from this.” Tears started to fall from my face. I tried so hard to be strong and was failing miserably. “I love you so much. I would take your spot in a heartbeat so you would not have to feel this. It hurts me so bad to see you lying here knowing there is nothing I can do to take your pain away.”
I kissed her hand. I put my hand on her stomach and sighed. I kept it there for a few minutes and hoped the baby could feel my love. I know it is tiny and chances of survival low, but I sure wish the baby felt it. Ashlynn and I created another life together, a being with parts of both of us.
I stared at Ashlynn’s face until I fell asleep. The machines were helping operating her body for her. What I wouldn’t do to hear her sweet voice and see her smile.
I woke up when the nurses came in to change out her medicine for her IV and do all her vital signs. They told me she seemed to be improving and the doctor would be by shortly. They wanted to start reducing some of the sedation to see how much pain she was in and to see if she would respond.
I texted McKoy and Grace and gave them the update. I told them I would let them know after the Doctor left and what he said. McKoy responded and said she will be up a bit later this morning to check on Ashlynn.
I sure as hell hope the Doctor had some good news about Ashlynn. I was scared to hear any more bad news and I didn’t know how much more her little body could handle. I understand I’m supposed to be strong for her and our baby, but all I wanted to do is heal her and relieve her pain. I didn’t care about anything else in this world if my sweetheart did not return to me. My life would not be worth living without her.
Chapter 29
~Cooper~
Dr. Moore came in about an hour later. I was pacing the floor in her room.
“Mr. Brooks, can you, please go into the waiting room and I’ll come out and talk to you as soon as I complete my examination on Ashlynn. Some of the neurological tests are hard to watch as a loved one. It does not hurt Ashlynn, but it would be easier for you to be out of the room.”
“I really don’t want to leave her but, if you think that is best, I will. Please come get me when you’re done.”
I went scared there would be bad news. I had to trust him and right now after going through what just about cost me my girl, that is pretty damn hard to do.
I paced the floor for what seemed like hours. In reality, it was probably fifteen minutes. Dr. Moore came to the waiting room and sat down to talk to me.
“Mr. Brooks, everything seems to be as well as can be expected. I’m impressed by the way her body is responding and fighting. I want to start to reduce the sedation. If she starts to show signs of pain or the baby shows distress, I will have to increase the sedation again.”
“Thank you Dr. Moore. I just want this nightmare to be over and for Ashlynn and the baby to be okay.”
I texted McKoy and told her the good news. There really was no reason for her to come up yet and I told her so. I asked her to wait with the flowers until tomorrow so maybe they would be nice and fresh when Ashlynn was able to see them. It was getting late in the day and I doubted there was going to be any changes.
I sat in the waiting room for nine hours. McKoy came in with the biggest arrangement of daisies I had ever seen. She asked the nurse if we could go in to see Ashlynn. The nurse okayed us and we walk together into the room unsure of what we would see.
We slid the door open and walked in to see Ashlynn lying there just as still as earlier. The machines didn’t seem as loud today. I took her hand and kissed her forehead.
“Hi Sweetheart, I miss you and love you so much. McKoy is here to see you too sweet. You should see the huge arrangement of daisies she brought you. They are in every color.”
McKoy stood behind me somewhat scared to see her. I squeezed Ashlynn’s hand ever so lightly and she squeezed it back. I saw her eyelids flicker. McKoy saw it too. I turned my head to look back at McKoy.
“Am I seeing things now? McKoy, please, please tell me you just saw what I did.”
“Cooper you’re not seeing things. Our girl is coming back to us.”
I smiled and kissed her hand again. “Ash baby, I love you, please fight and come back to me. My heart won’t beat without you. I miss you so damn much, beautiful. I want to see your smile, and see your beautiful brown eyes look back at me.”
Her eyes flickered again. She opened her eyes barely and tried to swallow. Her alarm started going off on the breathing machine and I began to panic. She looked at me and saw my eyes. I try to keep them on her and tell her she was okay. I pushed the nurse’s button shaking so badly I could barely hold the little control.
“Ashlynn baby try to relax. Everything is okay. You are at the hospital. The nurse is coming.”
She started to calm down a little bit. I asked McKoy to stand where she could see her so it would maybe calm her more.
“Sweet girl, you’re okay. Listen to Cooper here. Calm down and you’ll be able to catch your breath.”
The nurse came in and talked to Ashlynn. She was waking up and responding. After she got through this, I vowed never to let her fight for her life again. Never.
Chapter 30
Two weeks later
~Cooper~
I had only been working half days these last two weeks. I was at the hospital as much as possible with my sweetheart. She was finally pulling through and was moved to a regular room a little over a week ago. She was going to make it and our baby was also doing great. Today, I finally was getting to take her home. Her recovery had been hard, but she was a fighter, as if I didn’t already know. She did not remember anything about what happened which was a blessing, but then again she was trying so hard to piece the puzzle together. I assured her none of it mattered and that Nick was dead. She would never have to worry again.
We had decided we were going to rent a place and get out of her home she was in. She didn’t feel comfortable staying there any longer anyway. Nana insisted she was fine on her own and that Ashlynn needed me more now. I knew she’s right. Ashlynn was closing that chapter of her life and our new one together was officially beginning.
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~Ashlynn~
I was finally getting to go home today. These last two weeks had been hell. I had to fight for my life and to be honest I didn’t know that I would have if Cooper and my sweet peanut weren’t in my life. It was as if my life didn’t exist without them in it. I still had healing time, but I knew I could get through it. I felt like one lucky girl. I have been thanking my lucky stars for the best man a woman could ask for and the best friends on earth. Cooper had not let me out of his sight. I know he blamed himself and I hoped one day the pain I caused him would ease from his heart.
We recounted that day of doom and he has explained to me what happened. Hearing it from his view was so hard. My heart broke listening to him talk about it and how he thought I was dead. I can’t even imagine if I had been in his shoes. I did know I would do it all over again to protect him. I had no doubt in my mind. I’d do it for my peanut too.
The first shot was when Nick shot me. The second was when Cooper shot Nick. He was pronounced dead on the scene. I’ll never have to worry about the misery he caused in my lif
e ever again.
I told Cooper one night when he was laying beside me in the hospital bed, that I felt like my mom had a part in all this. She had a role in me and Coop meeting, in the way I was getting the warnings that someone was following me and ultimately, me surviving that horrible day. I swear I heard her talk to me when I was sedated. I would swear to it on a stack of bibles. Hearing her voice and Cooper’s is what pulled me out. She told me I was too young to die, to fight, and that Cooper was my happily ever after. She sent me to him and him to me. Our fates crossed that day, but it wasn’t by accident.
I didn’t get to see the expression on my Cooper’s face like I was hoping when I told him I was pregnant. I wanted Cooper to be the first to know. Well, I guess he really was the first to know, but, not in the way I would have liked. I was planning on telling him the night we arrived in South Padre. I had a whole event planned. Maybe I’ll get to do that for the next baby. The doctor had told him when I was unconscious. Not only was he worrying about me but also peanut.
I couldn’t ask for a better man to be the daddy to our baby. I never wanted children after knowing what I went through, but, that all changed when I met Cooper. When you fall in love and your heart beats for another one you want to create something that is made from you both. It’s a feeling I never thought I would be blessed enough to have.
He is incredible. We have both seen so much hate and abuse and to bring a baby into the world that will be worshipped and loved, is an amazing feeling. It is an extension of our love. I finally got the meaning of what a real family was. I was getting the dream all because one day I took a flight to a beach that changed my life.
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June 25th
~Ashylnn~
We had decided we wanted our wedding to be fast and private. We only had a few close friends and family. We just wanted to make it official.
“Cooper, what do you think about getting married on South Padre Island? I feel like that was where our beginning started.”
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