by Lora Ann
Alex realized instantly what was going on with me. He stepped back and put his hands up in surrendering fashion. Then he apologized, “I was out of line. Sorry, Nik.”
I nodded, needing a minute to get my act together. Shit! I could’ve hurt my brother, my best friend, just now. I fought hard not to hurl. What the fuck is wrong with me? After thirteen years, one would think I was past all of that. Truth was, some things never leave a person—especially survival instincts. “It’s done,” I assured. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
He scoffed, “You’re a real piece of work, my brother.” He sat down hard on the sofa against the wall and stared off into the distance for a moment. I knew he was preparing to say or ask something difficult, so he was mentally bracing. Ah, hell. I didn’t want to hear it. He looked up at me and queried, “Nik, why would you suspect Caleb broke into Aimee’s apartment?” I shot him a wary glance. “I knew it!” he crowed as he stood up abruptly. “You do see it, don’t you?”
“Don’t,” I warned. There was no way in hell I wanted to have this discussion.
He clapped my shoulder and noted, “This can’t be easy. But, surely, you haven’t missed the resemblance.”
I cautioned, “Enough, Alex,” as I stepped away from him. If he wasn’t careful, I would lay him out.
“Will you ever let yourself grieve properly?” He laughed with no humor. “You have to quit blaming yourself, Nik.”
I clenched my fists so tight at my sides the knuckles were white. “Not what a jury of my peers said,” I snarled.
Alex admonished, “Rigged and you know it, so don’t throw that crap at me.”
I grunted, “You have some nerve,” before I sat down and rested my elbows on my knees.
“I know you’ve been to hell and back.” Still there, Alex. “I also know I want my brother whole, not this,” he waved his hand over me, “husk.”
“Ha!” I corrected, “Don’t you mean asshole?”
He sat down next to me and said, “While you have ass like qualities, I know somewhere in there is my brother.”
“No. He’s not, Alex. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better off you’re going to be.”
“Talk, Nik. If not to me, then someone—please. You’ve got to move past this.”
“Un-fucking-believable! Just how do you expect me not to still love her?”
“I don’t,” he stated. “But she’s been gone for a long time. Do you really think she would want this for you? She would want you to be happy.”
“I can’t ever be happy,” I mumbled. “I’ll never love another.”
He quirked a brow. “Really? ‘Cause you sure as hell desire that pretty woman in the other room.”
“Desire is not love,” I countered. “Sure, I want to fuck her, but I’m not going to love her.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Nik,” he remarked before he stood and walked out of the room.
*****
I rubbed my face with both hands. Alex was right, I did desire Aimee. More than I wanted to. Sure, I could have sex with her, and it would be damn good. But fall in love? Not going to happen. Ever. What my brothers failed to comprehend was that I no longer had a heart. I’m the ruthless bastard I was known for. The boy my brothers remembered was buried fifteen years ago with his beautiful wife. The shell left behind was a cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch who didn’t give a damn. I grabbed the glass sitting on the end table and chucked it across the room. When it connected with the wall, I took little pleasure in the sound it made. I needed outta here—to get out of my head for a while.
I stalked down the hallway and ran right into five-foot, two-inches of luscious woman. Gorgeous. Like Alex, I thought she looked a lot like Rachel. However, as I truly studied her, I realized she only resembled my late wife slightly. Their height was the same, as well as their golden blonde hair and baby doll face. But that was where it ended. Rachel had been pixie-like and dainty; Aimee was curvy and delicious.
Her mesmerizing grayish-green eyes held mine as she asked, “Is everything all right, Nik? I thought I heard something break.”
Every ounce of my being screamed at me to haul her closer and kiss her breathless. What the hell?! I hadn’t kissed a woman on the mouth since Ra—that’s a lie. There was that mystery woman at the masquerade some five years ago. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip at the memory. Why was I remembering that night so clearly all of a sudden? The only other woman I had allowed myself to taste and she still haunted my dreams. Aimee reached up and rubbed her fingertips along my stubbled jaw. “I want you,” she purred.
No, do not go there. Back away now! I reached down and traced her cheekbones. “You don’t. I’m no good, Aimee.”
She took a step closer and whispered, “Neither am I.” Then she reached down and stroked my cock through the heavy denim. “I’m not asking for anything emotional here. Just sex.”
I swallowed hard. Dear God, I’m not going to last another minute. Do something, please! “I’m s-sorry,” I stammered before I turned and beat feet out of the penthouse.
*****
The nightclub was hopping, not to mention the seductive dance music—which did not help my present state. Definitely, not one of the smartest decisions I had ever made; however, I really needed to speak to my youngest brother, E. I sat in the V.I.P. section and was instantly served a scotch on the rocks. The cocktail waitress, Mindy, greeted, “Here you go, Nik. Let me know if I can get you anything else?”
I watched her hips sway seductively, not missing the invitation she had just offered. I smiled slightly, maybe that was just the cure I needed. It wasn’t long before E joined me. We sat back to enjoy the go-go dancers. They were not strippers, just dancers providing entertainment. No, the no holds barred entertainment took place on the lower level. There, a man could get lost in the eroticism. Nope, not going there. As soon as my drink was finished, Mindy supplied another. This time I was given a peek down her shirt. Ah, hell. I really needed to get laid, quickly. I shifted to relieve the pressure in my jeans.
E didn’t miss a thing. “See something you like, brother?”
I shot him a wry glance and admitted, “Yeah. But that’s not going to solve my dilemma.”
He chuckled, “Since when does bedding a woman ever fix a problem?”
“True. Generally speaking, it’s asking for trouble.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Nah, Nik. You just need to tap the right one.”
Oh, I had the right one sitting in my penthouse asking me to. I looked at E sincerely. “I need your help.”
He sat up instantly. “’Sup?”
I confessed, “I’m in over my head, E, and I have no idea how to get out of the mess I helped create.”
He leaned back and inquired, “This have anything to do with the beauty staying at your penthouse?”
Ah, so Alex had talked. Figured. Nothing was sacred between my brothers. They meant well, and I knew they loved me, but sometimes I wished they’d keep their damn mouths shut. “I swear you two are like a couple of old biddies. You gossip way too much.”
He snorted, “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.” There was no heat behind his oath.
I smiled though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. Crap, I couldn’t remember the last time I truly smiled or laughed. Pathetic. The closest I'd come to a genuine smile was with Aimee. Maybe Alex was right, perhaps it was time to let Rachel go. My heart screamed in protest, as if Rachel herself was saying, “I’ll never let you go.” God, I missed her so much. Hard to believe she had been gone for nearly fifteen years now. The image of her broken body suddenly flashed before my eyes. To this day, her last words continued to haunt me: “I love you, Niky.” I squeezed my eyes tight, refusing, yet again, to shed one tear. I was brought back to the present when E stated, “You have to let go.”
Shit. He knew me too well. I retorted, “Really? Like dad? Can you honestly tell me you’ve let him go? What about mom?”
When E shook his head, I noticed his eyes we
re suddenly very bright with moisture. “Point made,” he conceded.
I nodded, knowing that was a low blow. We had lost our dad to a tragic accident when E was only eleven-years-old, and then our mom to a heart attack nearly ten years ago, which left just the three of us. If it wasn’t for my brothers, I would have never survived this long. “Hey, E, I’m an asswipe. I shouldn’t have brought them up.”
He held my gaze intently. “I get that you can’t ever really let go, but you have to move on, Nik. You can’t keep living in the past or blaming yourself. What’s done is done.”
Didn’t Alex almost say the exact same thing? It was not like this was the first time they had said these things, just ironic they were on the same page at the same time. Crap. This was not how I envisioned my conversation with E tonight. I conceded, “You may be on to something there.”
He smiled, “So, what’s going on with the blonde bombshell shacking up with you?”
“She’s not shacking up with me,” I replied exasperated. “She’s in trouble.”
“And you’re her white knight in shining armor?”
“Hell, no. If anything, I’m the dark knight.”
He chuckled at my remark and then addressed, “You really think Caleb did it?”
Geez, what didn’t Alex share? “Yeah, I do. It has his stench all over it.”
“You would know better than anyone. After the shit he pulled with Rachel, you’d recognize the signs.”
That was no lie. Caleb Reynolds stalked Rachel for the year and a half I was with her. He had probably been at it much longer than that, but she had never put it together. Besides, there was no proof even if he had. He had been completely obsessed and thoroughly convinced I’d stolen her away from him. Now there was Aimee, who had an uncanny likeness to Rachel, and, once again, I was involved. The whole thing had disaster written all over it. For the best interest of everyone, I should put Aimee on a plane and let her move on with her life. Yeah, well, as if I could let her go now that I found her. What the…? I am not getting involved with her! I would simply make sure Reynolds backed off, and then I would send her on her way. Simple. “Thanks, E. I think I have a game plan.”
His brow arched. “Mind sharing?”
I smirked, “I’ll clean this mess up, make sure Caleb doesn’t bother her again, and commission her to go on with her plans.”
His eyes widened. “Who’re you kidding? You want her and you know it.”
While that was a statement of fact, it didn’t mean I would act on it. “I’m not known as a cold-hearted bastard for no reason. I can and will control myself.”
He grinned and quipped, “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
I shoved back from the table and stood. “It’s only a week at the most. I’m not some green boy who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”
E raised his glass in salute. “Keep telling yourself that, my brother.”
I could hear his laughter over the din of music as I strode away. I would show him and Alex, too. Yeah, right, I’m going to enjoy watching you fail, the little voice in my head mocked.
Chapter Eight
Aimee
Grr! The man was a darn yo-yo. One minute, I could see desire—hell, I felt the evidence against my stomach—in his eyes. The next, he pushed me away. What the heck was that “I’m no good” about? Nonsense. As if a prostitute was good? Really! What parallel universe was he from? After he shut me down, one thing was certain: I would not stick around for an encore. He could go screw himself. I’m done. With anger propelling me, I stormed out of his humongous penthouse and made my way home.
*****
As I unlocked the door to my apartment building, I couldn’t help but be reminded of how different Nik’s and my life were. He was accustomed to luxury in the extreme. While I lived well, there was no comparison. I had done my best to put away every cent I could to buy my first hotel. The only other place I put my money was in Dad’s doctor and hospital bills. I could easily live in a high-rise with a doorman for security, but I was happy in my brownstone in the Upper West Side. No, it was not Fifth Avenue, but it’d been my home for five years. Now, more than ever, I knew I’d made the right decision to leave Manhattan and move across country. California was definitely on my radar. With the San Francisco deal pushed aside, maybe it was time to check into San Diego, Lake Tahoe, or Napa Valley. Guess I would see where fate led me.
I approached my apartment and quickly realized I couldn’t enter. Instead, I used my key to Renée’s place. That’s funny, the lights are on but she’s nowhere to be seen. “Ren!” I hollered, “You here?” There was no answer, which was very odd. She didn’t believe in wasting electricity. I decided to go check her bedroom. All of a sudden, there was a heavy knock at the front door as a deep male voice roared, “Aimee! Open the damn door.”
Crap! How did Nik figure out where I was? “No!” I bellowed.
“Either you open up or I’ll break the fucking thing down. You have till the count of three.” Was he serious? Then I heard him counting, “1…2…” Well, that answered my question.
Before he finished, I yanked the door open. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He stood there with a menacing look on his face, add to that his thick arms crossed over his massive chest, and I was terrified. I took a step backwards. I’m not stupid; I knew when to back away from a furious man. And this one, in particular, was beyond that. I actually rubbed my hands over my arms due to the icy waves his body produced. Oh, he’s pissed off. “Why’d you run from me, Aimee?”
“I…uh…well, I…” I stammered—unable to complete a thought, let alone a sentence. Geez, what have I gotten myself into with this man? He arched a brow at me, as if to say, “I’m listening.” Finally, I found my voice. “I wanted to stay here. I was uncomfortable at the penthouse.”
With a firm “Bullshit,” he called my bluff.
Ah, hell. How could I tell him the truth? As if I would ever confess to being hurt by his rejection. So I suggested, “You don’t have to take my word for it. I think my actions speak very clearly,” I huffed and spun around to walk away from him.
He wasn’t going to put up with that. Therefore, he firmly grabbed my arm, turned me around and commanded, “Never turn your back on me.” His gaze was intent, and his grip insistent. I wasn’t in pain, exactly, but I wasn’t comfortable either. When I tried to pull away, he wouldn’t let me. “Are we clear on this, Aimee?” I stared him down. Who did the man think he was? I did not take orders from anyone, especially him. “Answer me,” he demanded.
As I stood my ground, I titled my chin up in defiance. “Fuck. You.”
He hauled me against his hard body. “Watch it,” he warned. “You’re on thin ice with me right now. Don’t make me take you over my knee,” he threatened.
What the?! And why did that sound so hot? I’d never been into pain for the sake of pleasure. When I say pain, I mean the hard core kind like Renée was into. Not my thing, at all. I scoffed, “As if.”
Next thing I knew, I was lying across his lap, and he was actually spanking my butt. It was not pleasurable. It hurt! “Ow,” I complained. He only struck harder. “Okay, enough. Dammit.” When he released me, I was fighting back tears. Immediately, I stood and backed away from him. My eyes blazed into his as I scolded, “That was uncalled for.” He had some nerve. The man wouldn’t have sex with me, yet he’d spank me. Appalling. Why I oughta find something big and heavy to clock him with. Asshole!
While he approached me, he declared, “I warned you. Next time, you better remember I don’t make idle threats.”
“You are a Neanderthal.”
“Maybe. But you will respect me.”
“Oh, like you revere me? Let’s be clear here, Nik. Touch me like that again and I’ll find a way to retaliate. Are we clear?” It was not a threat; it was a promise.
His demeanor softened, as if suddenly he admired me. “You had me worried sick. I can’t very well protect you when you take off
like that.” He ran his hands through his long hair. A sign of frustration I was becoming familiar with. “Are you okay? I never meant to hurt you,” he stated sincerely.
“I’ll be fine.” For emphasis I rubbed my butt, silently telling him that it did indeed hurt.
At least he had the good sense to wince. “I’m sorry, Aimee,” he apologized.
Just as I was about to fire off a sassy retort, we heard something break in the bedroom. Both of us took off at a full sprint and abruptly halted at the sight we’d come upon. Surely my eyes deceived me, that couldn’t be my best friend laid out on the floor. Could it? When she moaned and reached up for the nightstand, I realized it was her. “Renée?” I squeaked, “Honey, what happened?”
Nik grabbed my hand when I reached for her. “Hold on a sec. Let me check something first.”
I stared at him dubiously. What was he thinking? My best friend was lying there semiconscious and needed help. “Why?”
“I’ll tell y’later. You can touch her as soon as I’m done.” I watched in horrific fascination as he scanned the area for—evidence?—clues, like he’d done when my apartment had been ransacked. Bewildered by what I was witnessing, the man came across as a thug sometimes, then, at other times, he was as observant as an investigator. Yet, another piece of the puzzle that was Nik Strand. How I wanted to fit it all together so I could see the complete picture. Complicated didn’t even begin to define him. When Renée groaned again, I held my hand above her blood soaked head and looked up at Nik, silently begging him to let me touch her. “Go ahead.” He nodded his head for emphasis.
I was eternally grateful as I mouthed Thank you. I swept Renée’s hair to the side. “Hey, Ren. I’m here,” I reassured. “Don’t move, okay? We’re going to get you some help.” I fought back my hysteria while I watched her try desperately to open her beautiful hazel eyes. She couldn’t due to the swelling. They were already a horrid blackish-blue. My heart broke for her. She had been through so much for a young woman of twenty-seven. It just wasn’t right this had happened to her.