by Lora Ann
Elizabeth was nice and funny. She always had a book in her hand. I liked to read, but not as much as her. That year we sat next to each other in Mrs. Cook’s class. I remembered talking to Ally about some of these things. She really liked Beth a lot. One time she’d said, “If I could pick a sister it would be Elizabeth Evans.”
We were assigned partners on a science fair project. I was not happy. I confided in Ally, “She’s way too smart for me.”
She replied, “Aidan, you’re very smart. You just don’t always show that side of yourself.” With her heartwarming smile and a soft chuckle, she then said something I would never forget. “She intrigues you, challenges you, but not in a competitive way. She’s good for you. Some day you may realize just how good.”
Rolling my eyes, I said, “Oh, please, it’s not like I’m gonna marry her.” I laughed. I mean, I knew she was a cute girl. You’d have to be blind not to notice that. Good for me? I’m only eleven!
I sat here laughing at that conversation from so many years ago. Then the memory of Ally’s funeral brought more tears to my eyes.
Beth had spoken that day. Afterwards, she seemed to know exactly what I needed as I sat there staring at my sister’s lifeless body. She didn’t say “I’m sorry,” like every adult. She didn’t look at me weird, like most of the other kids. No, Beth simply sat beside me, holding my hand. When I looked into those ocean blue-green eyes, I knew I saw the most beautiful of souls. The compassion was unbelievable. She never said a word unless I spoke first. I knew that if Ally could see us, she would have cried at the love Beth showed that day.
Um, I wonder if she still lives around here. Wow, that’s someone I wasn’t expecting to think of today. “Oh, Ally, I wish you could talk to me now. I feel so lost, like something is missing. I have no idea what it is.” Again, the feeling that I needed to forgive overwhelmed me. More memories began to surface.
*****
Mike, my father, loved my sister very much. She was his pride and joy. I never felt like I meant much to him. I was more of an after-thought than a son. Ally loved me, so he tolerated me, that’s about all I can say. He was a big man, tall with broad shoulders. A “man’s man” was what one would call him. The ladies loved my father and he loved them. That was the problem of course, his love/lust for other women.
My parents met in high school. They married after graduating and had my sister six months later. Common story, but from the very beginning Dad had his eyes on every pretty girl he saw. My mother knew, choosing to look the other way. She loved him, and figured that he would stop as soon as the baby was born. It only got worse. I hated him for that. My mom deserved better than a player for a husband.
Last I heard he was shacking up in Vegas with a stripper. Forgive him for all of that? I didn’t know if I could.
Right after Ally died, he took off with his “flavor of the week.” My mother decided it was time to leave. She packed our stuff. Two weeks after the funeral, we were on our way to Los Angeles. She figured the small town life didn’t work out, so she would try the big city. I blamed my dad for the whole mess. I didn’t want to leave. Ballard was all I knew. I didn’t want to be in such a big city. I had just lost my best friend in the whole world. Now, I had to say good-bye to the only other two friends I had. Life really sucked!
*****
I still remembered, so vividly, the day I left. Beth was at our favorite place, the big oak tree out on the Stevens’ farm. It had an old tire swing hanging from it. We all loved to play there.
She was just sitting on the swing that day, staring at the acres in front of her. Evidence of Spring was all around, tiny buds everywhere. She was simply taking it all in. When she heard me approach, she looked up. Once our gazes locked, I knew I had to kiss her, as in French kiss her. It was something I dreamt about, but had never tried before. That one kiss, my very first kiss, changed my life in more ways than one. It was mind-boggling. She was magnificent. I hated to leave her. I knew I’d hurt her. It felt so wrong, for reasons I just couldn’t understand. A part of me died with my sister, and that day another part stayed with Beth.
To this day, I compared all kisses to that one. I wonder… Did Beth ever forgive me? Here we go again with the forgiveness. It was becoming quite obvious that I needed to forgive everyone, including myself. Could I?
*****
L.A. and I did not get along. I absolutely loathed the school I was in. The bad grades and fights were proof of that. Mom was at a loss as to what to do. She tried to talk to me, but all I would do is slam the door in her face. I wasn’t angry with her, but I didn’t know what to say. If she knew just how miserable I was, it would’ve made her feel worse.
She thought we should have a day of fun, so she kept me home from school. That day we played tourist. I had to admit, I really enjoyed it. We decided to go to the Warner Brothers Studios.
That was the day my whole life changed forever. I chuckled slightly at the memory. Ally would have laughed so hard. I could hear her voice in my head, “Leave it to you to get lost and end up a movie star.” Literally, that is how it happened.
While on our tour, Mom went to use the ladies room. She left me standing there and told me not to move. I had no intention of disobeying her. It was a simple case of mistaken identity. One moment I was waiting for Mom, and the next, I was being escorted to an audition. I was seriously scared to death. I had no idea who this lady was, or what she was doing. I kept trying to tell her she had the wrong person, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too busy talking on her mobile phone. Next thing I knew, I was reading lines from a script. Of course, it was about a boy whose best friend had just died. When I finished, everyone was crying. Needless to say, I got the part. The look on their faces when they realized I wasn’t James Thomas was hilarious.
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud sitting here in the cemetery. When Mom came in, frantic with worry, they finally understood what had transpired. My career began that day. No regrets, it’s been incredible. I had only one negative tied to my career. Could I forgive her?
*****
Gwendolyn Hayde was a force to be reckoned with. Her tall, statuesque figure was not something I ever grew accustomed to. We’d met on the set of my first romance. She played my love interest in the movie. Quickly, she became my love interest off set. It had happened so fast, and I couldn’t remember when I had agreed to move-in with her. I was only 18-years-old, and she was 28. I learned a lot from Gwen. For that much, I was grateful. But that was as far as my gratitude could go. She was a true bitch, in every sense of the word. From the very beginning, her only reason for being with me was for her personal gain. I had been a stupid kid to actually believe in her. Unfortunately, I fell in love. I’d have done anything for her. I wanted to make her my wife. I wasn’t comfortable with just living with someone. Guess I’m more traditional than I should be. The night Gwen broke my heart and left forever altered my take on true love.
I’d planned it so well: The candles. The wine. The soft music. I even had dinner catered in from her favorite restaurant. When I got down on one knee, asking for her hand, she laughed. Not a sweet, nervous giggle. Oh, no! I’m talkin’ full blown belly laugh, and I was the butt of the joke. Ever want to crawl under a rock and die? I sure did! It was the most humiliating moment of my life. I still recalled her exact words. “Good God, Aidan! Do you really think I love you?” I did until that question. It hit me hard; realizing then what a fool she had played me for.
*****
The anger and resentment were still there after five years. I had to do it. I had to forgive. I finally surrendered−in the middle of a cemetery, in a town I hadn’t been in for 15 years. I found myself on my knees praying. Something I hadn’t done since that night in the hospital. I asked for forgiveness and to forgive all who had wronged me. It was the most humbling, and yet powerful thing, I’d ever done.
I still felt like there was another reason for me to be here. I didn’t know why, but I had a sense of peace about it. I just knew the
re was a purpose for all of this.
“Hey, Ally, guess what they offered me yesterday? Yep, director.” I’d always wanted to direct, however, I wasn’t sure that I was ready for that yet. For some reason, I asked for time to think about it. “Really, Ally, what is there to think about?” I sat there for a long time trying to find reason for my apprehension.
I have a few goals to achieve…like direct and write a script for a movie. I still wanted to do a project in honor of my sister, with all of the proceeds going to brain cancer research. Of course, I’d been busy making movies. I hadn’t really had time to hammer out the details. I did donate, in Ally’s name, to several cancer foundations. But I wanted to do more. “I will, Ally, I promise you. I will do it. I love you, so much. I’ll visit sooner next time.”
So much had changed, yet I still had questions. I stood and stretched, not realizing I had been sitting way too long. I got back on my Harley, and rode out much slower than I had arrived. I wanted to take in the scenery. It was such a beautiful day.
I found myself out at the Stevens’ property. There was my favorite tree with the old tire swing hanging from it. Sitting on the swing was a woman, her long, curly, reddish-blonde hair blowing in the breeze. I didn’t know what to expect. When she turned around, her beauty caught me off guard. I’d been around pretty women my entire life, especially once I started acting. Actresses, models, and entertainers were very striking, at least when they were in public. If you saw them without all the make-up on, they looked like any other attractive woman.
This woman was beyond gorgeous; absolutely stunning, in a quiet, graceful way. Her appeal was natural, not a drop of make-up on her face. The white cotton sundress followed her curves, perfectly. I was utterly speechless. At that moment, I realized there was no other woman for me. I had to have this one. Something about her eyes captivated me. I couldn’t see their color clearly from where I was. I wasn’t thinking straight. She smiled. Wow, her lips looked so full and supple like a rosebud. I wanted to walk right up to her and kiss her senseless. Oh, how I wanted to do so much more. Desire had never surged through me like it did now. Whoa, slow down big guy, you don’t even know her name. Take this one step at a time I had to remind myself, as I got off the bike striding towards her.
Mercy: A Dark Erotica by Lucian Bane
Sade put all her shit in his vault in the basement then finished cleaning up his apartment. He didn’t like that he had the urge to check on her every few minutes. He needed to get to the bottom of the Mercy mystery and be fucking done. If this had anything to do with that hit-and-run, he’d be in deep shit. Because Tommy was the one driving and now he’s fucking dead and couldn’t testify for him, should he need it.
Jesus Christ, or it could be any number of drug offenses. Or maybe she was trying to get a lead on the underground fights. He needed to know at least what she wanted.
Sade bolted up from the couch at the muffled sound of his name. She must be screaming bloody murder for him to be able to hear it. Fuck, was he going to have to gag her?
He raced to the basement and found a very awake Mercy, yanking at her restraints and letting out a bloodcurdling scream that hammered his balls each time.
He grabbed hold of her face and tapped it, making her focus. “I’m right here. Hey!”
“What…” she blinked and furrowed her brows. “Sade,” she gasped. “What the fuck are you doing, Sade? Why are you doing this?”
He could hardly believe how gullible and naïve she acted. He turned and pulled up his stool and pumped the lever with his foot, putting him near eye level with her. “Talking to you.”
“Why? Why did you do that? You didn’t need to do that Sade. I would answer anything you asked me, why are you treating me like a… a criminal?”
He slowly smiled and wagged his finger at her. “You’re good detective.”
“D… What? Detective? What are you talking about?”
“Look,” he held up his hands. “If I’m all wrong, you will have to pardon my manners. But I do have a few issues that I need answers to.”
“Like what?”
“Like what were you doing in my alley that night?”
She stared at him with mouth open. “I was… running from some pervy!”
He nodded. “That alley was blocked off.”
“I only saw a crowd.”
“And nobody tried to prevent you?”
She sat with her mouth open a second. “Yes but I was scared. I thought he was just another perv. And then I was at a dead end and I saw you getting killed. Maybe you should be thanking me for happening along—I did save your life!” she reminded.
“He winked at her and grinned. “That you did. And why?”
She screwed up her face. “What do you mean why? Because he was killing you.”
“And you just happened by?”
She gave a little nod that screamed lying. “I’m a very helpful person, my father was the same,” she said quietly.
“So what were you even doing there? On my block?”
Her mouth dropped a little then her eyes widened, moving off of him. “I was out for a drive. I got turned around.”
Lie. “And so you parked by the Black Velvet BDSM club to get your bearings?”
She rocked a little and shrugged.
“I don’t get out much and since my father’s death I realized it was time.” More lies. “Time to let loose, get into some BDSM?” “I don’t even know what you’re saying. BDSM. What is that, Body Dancing something, something? I saw a crowd, and it’s not the only club in the vicinity.”
Sade took a deep breath. “Your acting skills suck as bad as your lines. How did you know I was going to be in the alley that night, detective?”
She gave him a hard direct stare. “I didn’t. And I’m not a detective.”
He pointed at her. “Now see, you look all honest and even sounded it that time. But it’s hard to imagine you just happened to come on the one night of the year where I take care of personal business.”
She screwed her face up, confused. “You were getting killed!” Her brows ever so slowly went soft. “Ohhhh,” she muttered as though just figuring it out. Her look slowly morphed into horror. “You made him beat you nearly to death?”
Sade stood now and went to his tray of tools and grabbed a sharp blade. “I’m not here to share what I do with you or why I do it… detective. Or pretend that you give a singular shit about that. You’re here to share what you want from me.”
He turned and wagged the blade at her. “Now, I’m going to play a little game with you called cut away the lies. For every lie you tell me, I cut away clothes until there is nothing left but that pretty skin of yours. And then… if there are still secrets, I’m going to use some of these handy restraints and tie you open. Wide open. Until you are comfortable being transparent with me. And if that doesn’t work…” He gave a long sigh and leveled a hard gaze at her. “I have other persuasive tools that will make you talk. Scream even. In pleasure or in pain… it’s up to you.”
“I’m not a cop,” she swallowed, her words breathy, “or a detective. I work at the hospital, I volunteer at the nursing home. My father died a few weeks ago.”
“Ohhhh that. Yes. Your father dying bit.” She eyed him with a mix of hope and suspicion. “I do need to verify all of this. His name?”
She drew back a little, looking offended. “I don’t see why you need to know that.”
Anger shot through him and he grabbed the front of her shirt in one hand and sliced it down the middle with a yank, pulled it entirely off and tossed it.
“Stop this!” she said.
In answer, he grabbed her bra and cut it the same, tossing it away. “Any other demands, Miss Mercy?”
“You fucking bastard,” she whispered pissed.
“I am that, yes. But something tells me you already knew that?” She jerked her gaze away when his eyes lowered to her chest. “Don’t worry, your tits don’t appeal to me. Now can we have an honest conver
sation?” It wasn’t entirely true about her tits. And it wasn’t the size or the look of them that turned him on, it was that they were clearly a vulnerable point for her and the weakness aroused him. If he had to take a guess, it was likely due to how small they were. He noted at that instant one of her nipples was substantially smaller than the other. The defect was delectable to him. Most women assumed big, full, and perfect was the male preference. For him, it was none of that. It was all about perception. Self-perception. “What’s the matter Mercy? Are you ashamed of your tits?”
“My shame has nothing to do with how I feel about my tits. Sade!”
Damn. She was like the perfect mix of sadomasochistic temptation. “Did you know your anger arouses me almost as much as your weakness?”
She spit at him then turned back to her down and away gaze.
Sade retaliated by going to work cutting off her pants. She screamed loud enough to make his fucking ears ring. After he was done with one leg, he jerked open the drawer below the bed and grabbed the roll of red duct tape. A gag could come later. He ripped off a strip and pressed it to her mouth with a pat then finished cutting off her other pant leg.
He sat back on the stool with a huff. “That didn’t take so long. Getting you down to your panties. Black panties.” He angled his head, staring. “Nice.”
She went back to looking away from him. Judging by the heave of her stomach and chest, she was either very pissed or on the verge of breaking down.
“So detective. What were you doing in the alley that night?”
She jerked her head to him with a mocking look and wide eyes, like how am I supposed to talk dumbass? Sade reached over and yanked the tape off. “I’m not. A. Detective!”
Her anger rubbed along his sadism like a stroke on his cock. “The alley, Mercy.”