by Elin Peer
“Hey, if you’re accusing me of being sexually attracted to a twelve-year-old then you’re a fucking moron,” I said defensively. “I know she’s a child! But she is only a year and a half younger than Solo and the poor kid can’t concentrate on anything else than where she is, who she is with, and if she might like them more than him.” I didn’t tell Kya that I knew exactly how painful that situation was. I didn’t want her to know that she was my Willow.
“So, he has a crush on her.” She shrugged. “It’ll pass.”
“I fucking hope so,” I grunted. “But until it does, can you tell her to cover up?”
Kya lifted her chin. “No, I won’t tell her to cover up. Willow has as much right to wear shorts as any other child in the school and the boys’ ability to concentrate is not her responsibility.”
I scowled at her. “How am I supposed to work with you when you’re being such a stubborn mule?”
“Stubborn?” Her eyes widened. “I’ve bent backward to accommodate your ways of teaching. I’m staying out of it when you shout at the children, and I participate in the fight training despite the fact that it violates everything I stand for. And the way you teach math is completely illogical to me, but I trust that you know what you’re doing since your boys seem to get it.”
“My way of teaching math is fucking brilliant.”
“Maybe, but your physical punishment is not! It’s horrible and it’s breaking their spirit.” She had been talking fast and took a deep breath before she continued. “You think that you’re the one making all the compromises here, don’t you?”
“Because I am,” I claimed forcefully.
Kya made a sound of frustration. “Don’t forget that I’m asking you to go along with things you consider silly, while you’re asking me to go along with things that are for most parts illegal where I come from. If I’m asking you to move a step then you’re asking me to move a mile.”
I frowned when I saw how Kya’s hands were shaking. “Okay, I’ll admit that you’ve made some compromises.” I waited for her to calm down a little before I spoke again. “But I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal for Willow to cover up a bit.”
“It’s a big deal because we’re doing this experiment in the hope that one day Nmen and Motlanders can live side-by-side, right?”
I nodded.
“And what makes you think that women in the Motherlands are going to cover themselves so that you guys can concentrate better?” She lifted her eyebrows. “We are conditioning these ten Nboys to cross the border and represent all men of the Northlands. That means we want them to get used to seeing girls and women. It’s the only way for them to learn how to control their thoughts, and more importantly their behavior.”
“All right, you have a point, but if you can’t see what’s going on between Willow and Solo than you’re as blind as a mole.”
“What’s a mole?” she asked but turned around and walked again. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
“It’s an animal that is blind and lives under ground; you probably don’t have them where you live, but here we–”
She cut me off. “I don’t care.”
“But what are we going to do about Willow and Solo?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
I jogged up in front of her. “I don’t think you understand how serious the situation is.”
“Then enlighten me.”
“If Solo touches Willow, he could face a death sentence,” I said firmly.
“Define touch,” she said dryly. “The kids massage each other, which means they touch each other every day.”
“I know, but I mean if he touches her in an inappropriate way.”
“Define inappropriate.”
I was losing my patience. “Come on, Kya, you know what I fucking mean.”
“Do you mean if he spanks her?” she said sardonically. “Or do you mean if he kisses her?”
I groaned but didn’t get a chance to respond before she continued.
“Why do I have a feeling that this conversation isn’t about Willow and Solo at all?”
Rolling my eyes, I gave a snarky reply. “I’m not in love with you if that’s what you’re implying.”
“That’s good; then you will have no problem concentrating.”
“I never said that I did.”
We were almost at the school, and I spotted Magni outside walking on his hands.
“Put on a shirt,” I sneered at him when I passed him.
The large man jumped to his feet and dusted off his hands. His face was red, telling me that he had been walking on his hands for some time. It was a common exercise to build upper-body strength and balance.
“What’s your problem?” he asked and picked up a flask of water.
“It’s not you,” Kya told Magni and pointed to his naked and ridiculously ripped torso “It’s just that Archer has a hard time concentrating when people aren’t covered up.”
Magni gave me a curious look. “What is she talking about?”
“She is standing right here and can answer for herself,” Kya said with annoyance. “And what we are discussing is the fact that Archer thinks Solo and the other boys can’t concentrate because Willow is a beautiful girl.”
“It’s not just Willow,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, I’m with Archer on this one,” Magni said and dried sweat off his forehead.
“Oh my, aren’t you two suddenly becoming best pals and agreeing on everything. I think I liked it more when you couldn’t agree on anything.” Kya sighed.
“Yeah, well, don’t get your hopes up.” Magni laughed. “I’m still not doing a threesome.”
Just then the sound of a drone made me look up. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I watched Finn land his drone and get out while Magni looked highly entertained from riling Kya up.
“I never wanted one with either of you anyway,” she insisted.
He flexed his muscles. “You only say that because it would be embarrassing to you to admit that you have sexual dreams about us.”
“I don’t!”
“Hey, Archer.” Finn was smiling widely and gave me a manly hug. “What’s up?”
“Not much, it’s just that Magni is refusing to fulfill Kya’s fantasy about being with two men.”
Finn broke into a wholehearted laugh. “Don’t worry, honey,” he assured her. “You don’t need Magni when you’ve got us.” He slammed the back of his hand into my chest. “Archer and I can take care of you, right, Archer?” He nodded excessively to me but the idea of sharing Kya with him, or anyone, just made me angry.
“Some fantasies are better left as a fantasy,” I said and shot Kya a hard glance.
“Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Finn swung his arms out and walked over to Kya, standing close enough to rub shoulders with her. “Unlike my countrymen here, I would be more than delighted to indulge in any sexual fantasy you might have.”
“Would you really?” She batted her eyelashes at him theatrically. “That’s so kind of you.”
“But of course, and maybe you can reciprocate the favor.” Finn tucked his head closer to hers and whispered: “I have this one fantasy where we’re completely naked and then…”
I couldn’t hear the rest, but from the way Kya was blushing I could only imagine what kinky things he was whispering to her.
“Finn, keep your distance and behave, okay?” Magni called out to his friend.
“It’s okay,” Kya said in a soft voice. “If you mean it and you really want to help me, then there’s one thing you could do right now.”
Finn looked like he had just won a tournament and was about to have his wedding night.
“Like right now?” He was looking around us. “Don’t you want to go somewhere private, maybe a cabin, or a place in the woods?”
Magni stepped closer, his posture warning Finn that although they were best friends, Magni was still Kya’s protector; but she was playing some sort of game and
Finn didn’t know her as well as we did.
“I have this fantasy,” she cooed. “That a big strong Nman would come along and bang Magni’s and Archer’s heads together. That would be sooo hot.”
Finn’s face fell when he realized that she wasn’t going to have sex with him. “Seriously?” He turned to us. “We should talk to Khan about making it illegal for women to taunt men like this.”
“Yes.” I smiled smugly at her. “A spanking would be a good punishment.”
Kya flashed red and changed the subject abruptly. “I assume you’re here to see William?”
“I am,” Finn confirmed.
“Come on, I’ll take you,” I offered.
“Thank you.” He winked at Kya and gave her a charming smile. “But just so you know, the offer still stands; if you have a fantasy and these two chumps aren’t up for the task, you can count on me.”
“Thank you, Finn.” The smile she gave back made me want to deck him, but I didn’t want her to see how much it affected me, so I calmly led him to William’s bedside.
CHAPTER 12
Comfort and Fear
Kya
With a sigh of irritation, I blinked my eyes for the third time, but my reader still didn’t turn the page. The device was broken, and had been for a while, but my quick relocation from the Motherlands to the Northlands hadn’t allowed me time enough to get an upgrade.
I was reading a book on child psychology, and my eyelids were getting heavier when the sound of feet in the hallway alerted me.
Archer and I had the night shift, and all the children should be sleeping by now. He was in his room next door with his door shut, while I always kept mine ajar in case a child might get homesick and need me.
My door creaked slightly and I lowered the electronic reading glasses, putting the device away to see who it was by the door.
“Kya?” a small voice sounded.
“Mila?” I held out my hand, signaling for her to come closer. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I miss my mom,” she cried and I automatically lifted my duvet knowing exactly what she needed. This wasn’t the first time Mila had needed some extra comfort, and she was quick to crawl into my bed and nuzzle up against my soft pajamas. The kids from the Motherlands had all grown up in parenting units where a child could find comfort with an adult. Sadly, that hadn’t protected them from life’s cruelty and many of them carried traumas from their past. Victoria had lost her whole family unit in a tornado, Raven had been neglected by her mother, Nicki was traumatized from seeing the rare sight of violence in her early childhood, Willow had lost her twin brother when she was three and grown up without a primary parent since no one had adopted her, and then there was Mila, who had lost her mom earlier this year.
“It’s okay,” I whispered and kept stroking Mila’s back. “It’s hard, I know.”
“I miss her so much,” she repeated.
“Do you want to talk about her?” I asked, because sometimes when she was sad it helped.
“Not tonight.” She sniffled and used the heel of her hand to dry away tears.
“Okay, I understand.” Again I planted a kiss on top of her strawberry blond hair. “What do you think your mom would’ve done if she was here now?” I asked.
Mila lifted her head to meet my eyes, her lips quivering with sadness. “My mom used to sing to me and let me sleep with her.”
“Would you like me to sing for you?”
“Uh-huh,” she said and rested her head on my shoulder.
I tightened my arm around her, and started singing a lullaby in a hushed voice, feeling her breathing calm until finally she wasn’t crying any longer.
“What’s going on?” Archer stood by the door taking in the sight of me and Mila nuzzled up closely together in my bed.
“Mila misses her mom,” I explained.
I expected him to make some kind of negative remark about the situation, but he didn’t. Instead he stood hesitantly, as if he was hypnotized by the scene in front of him.
“I’m letting her sleep here tonight,” I added.
With a soft headshake Archer left my room.
“The men never let us sleep with them,” Mila said softly. “I like it better when you are here.”
“What about Shelly? She would let you sleep with her, wouldn’t she?”
“Yes, but the last time I was sad you weren’t here and Rochelle was already sleeping with Shelly.”
“Oh, so what did you do then?”
“Magni had the night shift, so I woke him up and asked him to take me to you up at your cabin.”
I furrowed my brow. “And he refused?” I asked, already assuming the worst. My heart broke a little, just thinking about this precious girl, so full of grief, being rejected and told to go back to bed.
She shook her head. “Magni said that he would help me.”
“Really?” My voice rose slightly in surprise. “And did he?”
Her eyes softened. “He took me outside, but we didn’t go to your cabin.”
I stayed quiet, eager to hear how Magni had handled a sensitive situation like that.
“He taught me about the constellations of the stars and we talked about how people have lived on this planet for thousands of years and what happens to us when we die.”
“Magni talked to you about death?”
“Yes, and he held my hand so I didn’t feel so alone.”
I was picturing the giant man sitting on the bench outside the school holding hands with Mila and philosophizing about life-and-death.
“And then what?”
“Then he carried me back to bed,” she smiled. “And he didn’t even get mad when I kissed him on his cheek.”
“You kissed Magni?”
“Yes, I think he liked it,” Mila said and added in a sad voice, “I don’t think he gets many kisses.”
“No, I don’t think he does,” I agreed.
“Maybe that’s why he’s grumpy so often?” the girl pondered out loud.
“Could be.” I let out a deep breath and yawned. “How about we get some sleep? We have that long run tomorrow.”
She nodded and found a comfortable spot under my arm, resting her head on my chest.
“Good night, Kya.”
“Good night, darling.”
We fell into silence for a few minutes until she suddenly spoke up again. “You know what Magni told me?”
“No.”
“He said that I was lucky…” Mila paused. “…His father died three years ago, but he doesn’t miss him. I don’t think his father was a very nice man. Magni told me I was lucky to have a mother to miss, you know, because it’s a sign that I had a mother who loved me and was worth missing.”
“That’s a good point.” I twirled a lock of her hair around my finger.
“Do you miss your mom?” she asked.
“Sometimes, but I’m used to not seeing her. She’s a singer and she travels all the time, which is probably for the best since we don’t agree on much.”
“But you love her, right?”
“Of course,” I said.
“Was she sad that you were moving here?”
“You would think that, but my mom has always been adventurous and spontaneous herself, so she didn’t try to hold me back.”
“When I grow up, I want to be adventurous and spontaneous too,” Mila announced.
“Be careful about that,” I warned. “I take after my mother and it has gotten me in trouble lately.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Nothing you have to worry about, dear.” I sighed. “Sometimes I just do things without thinking them through because I get caught up in the moment.”
“If you did something wrong you can always apologize,” Mila said with the wisdom of a ten-year-old.
“I know.” I yawned again. “But right now, we really need to sleep.”
“I love you,” Mila whispered and it made everything melt inside of me.
“I love you too,”
I said softly.
While the girl quickly fell asleep, all sorts of thoughts were roaming around my head. In the Motherlands, I had never been this close to any of my students. Sure, Raven had a special place in my heart, but I didn’t live with any of my students and there were certainly no words of love between us. But here, I was both their teacher and a substitute mother.
It was hard for them to be away from home, and it was really a small thing for me to share my bed with a child that needed a kiss on the cheek and a pair of warm arms to hold them.
The truth was that I treasured these nights as much as they did.
The next morning, Archer led us on a three-mile run through the forest.
“Just run ahead, I’ll catch up to you,” Magni called out to us when we left but fifteen minutes later I still hadn’t seen him.
I was panting and hating that my lungs felt two sizes too small and that all the children send me looks of pity when they passed me.
“Are you okay?” Shelly asked. “You sound like you’ve got some kind of respiratory disease.”
I stopped running, bent over, placing my hands on my knees, and sucked in big gulps of air. “I’m fine,” I croaked out.
“You don’t look fine, let me get Archer for you.”
I protested, but Shelly was already sprinting ahead.
It was kind of embarrassing that I was in such bad shape but I had suffered from asthma when I was a child and I told myself that my lungs hadn’t fully recovered yet.
After assuring myself that I wasn’t going to pass out, I rose up to my full height and started walking.
I couldn’t see any of the children any longer, and I figured that most of them were probably already halfway back to the school by now.
It was the sounds coming from behind me that freaked me out. A loud roar was followed by another one, and the only thing I could think of was two bears in a territorial fight.
There was no way I could outrun a bear with my lungs still cramping but since I couldn’t actually see the bears, I figured I had time to hide.