by J. Darling
“That did it. Linnie was gone the next day. She left a note saying she’d call when she got to wherever she was going. Dad about went crazy with worry, and then, just as he was about to call in a missing person’s report, she phoned. She was in Chicago, and had found a roommate, and a job.
“Several months later, Dad sent Nik and me to check on her. She looked good, had lost a little weight, was living in a decent place, and had started taking classes at the community college. She still seemed sad, but overall, she was a lot better than when she’d been at home. So we let her be, figuring she’d come home from time to time, but she hasn’t. She’s never come home, and she rarely calls. She’s a nurse, and is about to finish her four year degree, if she hasn’t already, and she’s getting married. Soon. To a doctor. No big wedding, just eloping. We’ve never met the guy, and that’s all I know.”
She’d suffered. Nate was without words in his desolation. He’d wanted to know, and now that he did, he felt achingly empty. In his mind, he’d had her forgetting about him and moving on without a second thought. He figured she’d be married by now, probably have some children, but whatever the circumstances, he’d always imagined her being happy. Disillusioned, time regressed.
Leaving her with the way things were, had nearly killed him. He hated thinking about it, prayed for a respite from it, but it never left him. She never left him. It’d been a stupid fight. He should’ve listened, but he’d been mad when she said she wanted to go to nursing school in Minneapolis. He’d been selfish, thinking only of himself. The problem hadn’t been that she wanted to go to nursing school, but that she’d wanted to live there while in school, to avoid having to travel the roads during inclement weather. Which meant time apart, and he was having none of that.
To drive his point home, he’d told her that if she loved him and wanted them to be together, she wouldn’t move to the city, but would go to the technical college closer to home, or commute. Then Linnie, smart as she was, turned the tables on him, and told him that if he loved her, he would want her to go to the school where she could get the best education, and live there while doing it, so she wouldn’t be on the road two to four hours a day during the worst weather Northwestern Wisconsin and Minnesota had to offer. Then she challenged him, that if he liked the idea of commuting so much, he could drive to the city to see her every day!
Staring at her, he couldn’t help thinking she was so pretty, with her long dark hair and equally dark eyes, sparking with irritation, as she met him head on. He knew she was the one for him, without a doubt. But being stubborn and immature, he wouldn’t give, and they continued to quarrel to the point that he’d blurted out he thought they maybe needed a break. Ohhh, she’d been quick. Linnie had always been quick, and able to keep her wits about her when in tough situations, unlike him at the time. It was one of the reasons they felt she’d make a great nurse. She was always controlled.
Dropping her hands from her hips, he watched as she slowly made her way over to him. She was furious, he could tell, because the more stress she was under, or the madder she was, the more calm she’d become. It didn’t affect him though. It should’ve, but it didn’t. He continued to stand his ground, even though what he really wanted to do was take her in his arms and love her till the end of time. Getting in nice and close, she looked up at him, taking her time to study his face. Then in a gentle whisper, she said, “You sure are full of ideas today, Nate, and this last one is by far the biggest one. You want a break, then consider it done.” Then she turned and walked from the room.
He closed his eyes, thinking back on his stupidity. He should’ve gone after her. She’d been angry, and he’d been a demanding ass. But he didn’t, deciding to give it a week or so. He’d been foolish, and she’d been right to call him on it. They’d broken up, and although he intended for it to be temporary, he went and made it permanent by leaving without a word. There was no question about it, he’d let her down, and if there was ever a reason for him to never go home, it was her.
He’d survived Basic and Advanced Training, Airborne School, the Ranger Indoctrination Program, as well as Ranger School, and several tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, and yet none of it compared to the torment he endured knowing that he’d foolishly let her go. He’d see her again. Beyond a doubt. Even so, as an elite warrior, battle ready and trained to overcome the toughest challenges, and the most impossible odds, he knew one look from her would be a full on assault he might not survive. No, there’d been nothing in his years of training with the Army that lent his heart protection from her.
Jake’s ringing cell phone cut into his thoughts. Looking around, he realized they’d crossed over into Wisconsin, and were nearing Luck. He’d made it, he’d survived. I’m so close to a new beginning, he thought, and I never want to have anything more to do with the Army, ever.
“Something’s going on at the house, and I need to get back right away,” Jake said, interrupting his thoughts. “So, we’ll head there first. You can take my truck till you figure out what you’re doing, and I’ll use this one in the meantime. If things don’t go well with your Mom and Dad, come back to the house and we’ll get you set up.”
“Everything okay?” Nate inquired, looking over.
“I think so. Dad just called to say he needed me home right away, that’s all.”
“Jake.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry about your mom, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me,” Nate offered with complete sincerity.
“I know,” Jake replied, with a nod of his head. “You would’ve been there if you could’ve. Things happen. The most important thing is, that you’re here now, and that’s good.”
“I appreciate that, and all you’re doing for me, and I’m glad to be here too.”
Pulling into the farmyard, and rolling to a stop outside the barn, they got out of the truck. Standing in the yard were Jake’s dad and brothers. Making their way towards one another, Jake’s dad held out his hand, and upon taking it, Nate was pulled into a warm embrace. It’d always been like that, the Albrecht’s treating him like he was one of their own.
“I’m glad to see you son, and wish we could catch up some, but we can’t, and you need to leave, now.” Karl Albrecht said firmly.
“Dad!” Jake responded, shocked at his father’s welcome.
“No, I’m serious,” Karl said firmly. “You need to go. You can’t stay.”
Irritated, Jake replied, “What’s going on? Someone care to explain?”
“Don’t know,” his younger brother, Nik, answered, while shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. “Good to see you, Nate.”
“Yeah Nate, glad you’re back,” Jake’s older brother, Kris, added, as he turned to the group. “Not sure what’s going on though, I’m confused as ever, but just so you all know, there’s a car coming up the drive.”
They all turned and watched as the car approached.
“Hell and damnation!” Karl Albrecht spat.
“Dad! Who is it?” Jake asked, a look of confusion and concern on his face.
Clearly annoyed at being caught between a rock and a hard place, he responded amidst tight lips, “Linnea.”
They all groaned as the full impact of the L-bomb hit.
Hell and damnation indeed, Nate thought, taking a fortifying breath. He braced himself as he stood taking it all in. In a matter of seconds, a tiny microcosm of time, he would see the love of his life again. Truth be told, the only reason he’d survived all he’d been through, was for this moment. She’d been his reason to live.
CHAPTER 2
She was back. Seeing the welcome sign for Luck had her smiling. Their motto, you’re either in Luck or out of Luck, struck home. She definitely needed some luck, and if she were honest, some rest too. She was drained. Linnie winced when looking back over the last month. It was like it’d been when Nate left, and her mother died. Except now it was her coworkers talking and whispering, asking all types of questions, while giving h
er sympathetic, sorrowful looks. And just like before, she’d wanted to scream.
She couldn’t help it. Purdy had made her feel like such a fool, and to add insult to injury, she’d run into him after leaving the hospital library, only to have him tell her he was sorry, and that he’d loved her at one time, but then something happened, and he felt for her what a brother feels for a sister. Hah! What a joke. She wasn’t prone to violence, but she sure had wanted to slap him then. Instead, she promptly reminded him, that brothers don’t have sex with their sisters, and if memory served correctly, they’d had sex aplenty, so he could take his sorry excuses, and all their belongings, and shove them where the sun didn’t shine.
Oh yeah, she needed a break. She refused to waste any more time on Purdy. She was done with him. She had her degree, which is what she’d set out to get, and she was on paid leave from her job, with no real plans of returning there. Better yet, she was single, with every intention of staying that way. The only men she was interested in seeing right now, were her father and brothers. A lot had happened in the last five years. She’d changed, and long gone was the naïve girl who believed in the false promises of forever.
The closer she was to home, the more anxious she became, and despite having talked with her father earlier, she felt uneasy. The fact that she’d been gone five long years, with minimal contact in between, made her feel exceptionally guilty. But the pain from that time in her life was still very real, and she was returning home now with the hopes of dealing with what she hadn’t been able to at the time.
Turning down the road to her family’s farm, she saw them all standing in the yard. Her heart began to beat rapidly. It’d been years, and she was both happy and scared to see them. They were familiar, yet different to her. Pulling up, she stopped and turned off the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Tired of being anxious, she quickly got out of the car and shut the door. She was so nervous. Turning and looking at the shocked faces on her family, she focused on her father and said, “Hi, Daddy. I’ve missed you so much.” Then she moved quickly into his outstretched arms, where he held her. He held her so tight, she felt grounded. Finally, she was home.
**********
Nate stood shell shocked. Blinking, he was seeing, but not believing what he saw. Linnie. Was. Gorgeous. Nooo, no that was not true. She. Was. Stunning. He never, in his wildest dreams, imagined her as she was right now. From top to bottom, she was breathtaking, and his vigilant-trained mind soaked up every detail about her it could.
Her shiny, cocoa colored hair, clipped short around one ear and in the back, revealed in great detail the gentle curve of her ear, and the graceful column of her neck. The top and opposite side of her hair, held long full layers, with a heavy bang coming forward to make a dramatic swoop over her right eye, before blending with the ever increasing length of fringe following the angle of her jawline, that ended just above one slim shoulder. The dramatic, asymmetrical cut, accentuated her heart shaped face and beautifully arched brow. Thick dark lashes and a deep, yet subtle, smoky blue shadow, outlined dark eyes that shimmered like black diamonds. Her caramel colored skin was a flawless blush, with high rounded cheeks, separated by a fine straight nose, tapering down to her pointed chin. Delicate lips, colored a soft rosy brown, curved into a beautiful smile, so generous, it revealed perfect gleaming white teeth.
She was a picture, and she’d lost weight, a lot of weight. Despite her petite size, she came off slender and elegant in her white, thin strapped tank, and hip riding jeans, rolled at the hem a number of times, highlighting her thin toned calves and slender arched feet held high in gemstone covered sandals. Nate couldn’t take his eyes off her, nor did he want to. She was just…stunning.
Watching as she was passed around, hugged, passed around again, looked at, and then hugged again, he couldn’t help but smile. This was good. Her back to him now, he took in her cute little behind, and toned arms, noting her hands, one on Nik's chest and the other cupping his cheek. Everyone was talking and laughing at once. Then he saw it. The slight indentation, the faint tan lines, outlining where a ring should be. Left hand, third finger, no ring. His breath caught. Was it possible she… No. No way. He dare not hope. He’d prayed to survive long enough to see her one more time, and he had, so that had to be enough, right?
Heart thudding deep in his chest, he sent rapid fire prayers to the heavens above, thanking God for having mercy on him, and seeing him through to this moment. He prayed. Prayed some more. For continued blessings. For mercy. For her. For him. Then in the end, he promised the Lord that if she should ever be his again, he wouldn’t waste a moment, not one single moment. He would forever promise to love and cherish the gift he’d been given.
His attention back to the scene in front of him, he was cognizant of her brothers glancing his direction, then away, as they went back to attending to her. He should leave. She hadn’t noticed him, and he could just step back and slip into the ba—
As if aware something was amiss, she straightened and turned quickly. Facing him, she inhaled sharply, then stopped. Eyes wide open, she looked at him, moving slowly from head to toe, and then back up, stopping at his name plate, and then onward to his face. Their eyes met, and he saw the most agonizing pain reflected in her glistening eyes. Over spilling, her quiet tears fell in steady streams down her beautiful face. Then just as quickly as she’d turned to him, she turned away, letting her chin fall to her chest, the length of her bangs shielding her face, her arms coming around to hug her waist. Her shoulders shook, and she sobbed long and low.
Heart wrenching, he was stricken. Her pain and anguish more than he could bear. Taking a step towards her, she stiffened, having heard the crunch of gravel under his feet. Lifting her head and listening like a frightened animal, she stood stock still. Stopping, he waited, then after a moment he said, “Linnie.”
She shot out like a rocket, past her father and between her brothers, straight to her car. Leaping in and starting it with a roar, the gears grinding and gravel spraying, she sped off. Watching her car go down the drive, he headed to where she’d been, only to be confronted by her defensive line.
“Oh, no you don’t, Nate,” her father said, as he turned for his truck. “She’s hurting, and you’ll let us handle it.”
Looking at her father, he demanded information, “She’s not getting married, is she?”
He stared at Nate, but didn’t answer.
“Is she?” Nate pushed, feeling his temper rising, his mind seeing what he hadn’t seen at first, the dark circles under her eyes, the sadness on her face, her loose fitting clothing. He’d kill that son of a bitch fiancé of hers. Wait. No. First, he would thank the SOB, then he’d kill him. When an answer wasn’t forthcoming, he began to push past her brothers, heading for Jake’s truck. It took all three of them, but he was still able to push forward. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would keep her from him. So help him God.
“What the hell they feed him while he was gone?” Kris ground out, as they worked to hold him back.
“Holy hell! I think my femur’s bending.” Nik grunted. “Jake! Talk to your boy.”
Getting up into Nate’s face, while blocking him with his shoulder, Jake barked, “Nate! Stop! Think!”
He wanted an answer, he needed to know. “Answer me!” Nate yelled, while tossing her brothers off him.
Taking a deep breath, her father looked him straight in the eye and said, “No. She’s not, and you’ll leave her alone. She’s come home, and I’ll not have her leaving again because of you. She’s been through too much.” Then getting in his truck, her father headed the direction she had gone.
Ohhh, they’d just see about that, he thought. He’d find her. She needed to know the truth. He didn’t care if he’d have to walk to the ends of the earth, but he’d find her, and then tell her what really happened all those years ago. He’d stood back, and watched her walk away once, but he wouldn’t let that mistake happen twice. She. Was. His.
**********
Alaska
. She’d go to Alaska. Just head there right now. Straight shot north, then a left at Freeze Your Ass Off, Canada, and she’d be there. Perfect! Food up, then get the hell out of dodge. What the... Why now? Who’d she piss off? She couldn’t do this. No way. No how. Why now? Nate. Oh God, Nate. He was there. Right there. Alive! Oh, God… Where to go? Where to? Where should she go?
In a panic, she turned down Main Street in Luck, then up Park Avenue, right on 7th, then a right on Butternut. Well hell, she was back to Main. Short of some minor residential streets, she’d just driven the whole town. She went around again, passing the gazebo in Triangle Park. Nate. Then Luck Public School. Nate. Then Sanders Plumbing and Heating. Nate. He was everywhere. Memories of the two of them were everywhere. Oh, God… Nate.
Round and around she went. He was alive, confirming what she hadn’t thought possible. He’d left her. She was overwhelmed with…what? Sadness? Anger? Hurt? After everything that’d happened as of late, she couldn’t believe she could feel anything right now, but she did. She was shattered. Completely and utterly broken. Why hadn’t she listened to Jules? She should’ve stayed in Chicago.
Stopping midway down Main Street, she worked to get control of her emotions. Checking the mirror and wiping away her tears, she stepped from the car. It was quiet. Cars parked here and there, but otherwise quiet. It was suppertime, and people were at home with their families, she thought. Looking around, she noticed a sign for the Bon Ton, a local bar and restaurant. She’d forgotten about it, and as they’d done extensive renovations, she’d missed it. Years before, it’d been more like a hole in the wall bar, and being under age, she’d spent no time there. Hey, that meant no memories of Nate. Perfect! Crossing the street, and opening the door, she went inside, and was relieved to see it was nearly empty. With the bar to the left, and tables to the right, she went left.